Distance.. is it an issue or not really? (87)
tonyxf: this internet, Isnt it?
Nah! spiderweb...
hmmm yeah no um WTF 
g/night 
wash2u: I had a LDR with somebody that I met face to face the first time. It was on again - off again because neither was willing to move from family and friends. And we kept looking 'local' knowing that neither was going to move. But stayed very close over that time.
My kids left school, nothing other than family to keep me in Sydney and I was unsettled as hell being there. Job was really crapping me off. So we got married and I moved to Melb. That is when we really got to know each other.
She turned out to be the founding member of Gamblers Anonymous. She had a few health problems and didn't considered saving for the future was something to consider. Even for her daughter's benefit. She put $10,000 through the pokies in 2 months. That's when we had problems and it ended. She reckoned I needed to work harder so she could win the big ones.
Then we come back to Long Distance Relationships. Can they work? I do believe they can. You have to look at what you want from any relationship. Do you want:
- just a f...buddy?
- someone you can relate with but not always have them around when you want them?
- someone you can relate with but only see when both have nothing else planned?
- someone you care a lot about but neither are willing to give up what you have (family & friends as well as financial stability)?
- someone who you want to share the rest of your life with 24/7?
Truth be told, that is no different to SDRs. It takes time together to know people. We are all on our best behaviour when we first meet people. And with LDRs, we are at our best when we meet so infrequently.
I remember a guy called Pebbs who got kicked in the shins because he told his date (1st & only time) that she should eat and pay attention to him rather than being on the phone all through the date. Personally, I would have just finished the meal, paid the bill and no 2nd date.
My kids left school, nothing other than family to keep me in Sydney and I was unsettled as hell being there. Job was really crapping me off. So we got married and I moved to Melb. That is when we really got to know each other.
She turned out to be the founding member of Gamblers Anonymous. She had a few health problems and didn't considered saving for the future was something to consider. Even for her daughter's benefit. She put $10,000 through the pokies in 2 months. That's when we had problems and it ended. She reckoned I needed to work harder so she could win the big ones.
Then we come back to Long Distance Relationships. Can they work? I do believe they can. You have to look at what you want from any relationship. Do you want:
- just a f...buddy?
- someone you can relate with but not always have them around when you want them?
- someone you can relate with but only see when both have nothing else planned?
- someone you care a lot about but neither are willing to give up what you have (family & friends as well as financial stability)?
- someone who you want to share the rest of your life with 24/7?
Truth be told, that is no different to SDRs. It takes time together to know people. We are all on our best behaviour when we first meet people. And with LDRs, we are at our best when we meet so infrequently.
I remember a guy called Pebbs who got kicked in the shins because he told his date (1st & only time) that she should eat and pay attention to him rather than being on the phone all through the date. Personally, I would have just finished the meal, paid the bill and no 2nd date.
spend time on the phone when on a date with me (babysitter/kids allowed) but anyone else
your on your own
that just rude
Newlife08: 30 yrs ago ( MY God how can it be so long??) I worked in travel in Europe, mainly Spain, Greece and a few of my friends or girls I knew then met guys from the Middle East or North Africa, fell madly in love, some even married them.
Then they would travel to HIS country and bang! Culture shock bigtime. A completely different lifestyle, gone were the manners, flowers, champagne, chocolates and it would be "You don't wear your western clothes now, you will NEVER be seen around a swimming pool, no makeup, jewellry, you stay with my family at all times ......
I even tried to warn some of the girls but they were in love and didn't want to listen.
Since then I would never consider someone from another culture/race, or at least from somewhere so different to what I am used to - until I had seen how they live in their own country??
Scary stuff
Then they would travel to HIS country and bang! Culture shock bigtime. A completely different lifestyle, gone were the manners, flowers, champagne, chocolates and it would be "You don't wear your western clothes now, you will NEVER be seen around a swimming pool, no makeup, jewellry, you stay with my family at all times ......
I even tried to warn some of the girls but they were in love and didn't want to listen.
Since then I would never consider someone from another culture/race, or at least from somewhere so different to what I am used to - until I had seen how they live in their own country??
Scary stuff
I dont know but i generally dont get attracted to ppl from other cultures, some Irish/English..
lolshorty: I dont know but i generally dont get attracted to ppl from other cultures, some Irish/English..
Never had a problem with people from other races or cultures. And some of the Irish & English can be very wierd
I suppose that is from growing up in semi-rural area shortly after WW2 with Italians and Chinese as nearest neighbours, even though the area was very Anglo-Saxon. And a lot of different peoples coming into the family over the years.
I think the main thing is that if you are attracted enough to someone and want to be with them in a completely different culture, then only you can decide if you are willing to accept that way of life.
Had a niece who was living with a Lebonese Muslim. Was good for a fair amount of time but he refused to participate in our family Xmas dinner because he didn't like "Christian festivities." Hey, it was a family get together, not a sit-down pray meeting trying to convert. And he made her catch the train there, refused to drive her, someone had to drive the 1km to the station to pick her up and drive her home, even though he was going to see his family just 2km away. And him telling her later she would have to change when they got married and not see "Christians" that finally broke it up.
Some things about some cultures do seem to take a while to come to the surface. But you do have to realise that many who do come to Australia are here for a better life and do want to be part of our lifestyle. As there are many who still want what the "old country" was.
If it's not an issue at first, sooner or later it will become one. Sooner or later for something to work, one or both are going to have to move closer.
Halv0: If it's not an issue at first, sooner or later it will become one. Sooner or later for something to work, one or both are going to have to move closer.
Of course but surely that is something you would have discussed early on. 
That was something my partner and I discussed very early because if someone isn't willing to move at some stage then there's no point even getting started. Even with us it wouldn't be happening for about 4 more years. 
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