Healthy Jealousy (58)
Her response "healthy jealousy",is somewhat indirect invitation,"and somehow I no longer trust this lady" absolutely justified,JMO.
Godsgift: I was talking to a lady friend of mine last night who is married. I said to her that I make a point of not texting her or calling her too often in case her husband gets the wrong idea and it causes her problems at home. Her response surprised me when she said there was nothing wrong in a bit of healthy jealousy in a relationship.I can't help but feel this attitude is a bit manipulative and a bit dangerous to third person and somehow I no longer trust this lady just as much.
Is there such a thing as healthy jealousy and am I just being a tad unrealistic and over sensitive.
Thoughts please.
Is there such a thing as healthy jealousy and am I just being a tad unrealistic and over sensitive.
Thoughts please.
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well,some People think it is OK.
On the other Hand,Obsessing is Obsessing.
On the other Hand,Obsessing is Obsessing.
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Godsgift: I was talking to a lady friend of mine last night who is married. I said to her that I make a point of not texting her or calling her too often in case her husband gets the wrong idea and it causes her problems at home. Her response surprised me when she said there was nothing wrong in a bit of healthy jealousy in a relationship.I can't help but feel this attitude is a bit manipulative and a bit dangerous to third person and somehow I no longer trust this lady just as much.
Is there such a thing as healthy jealousy and am I just being a tad unrealistic and over sensitive.
Thoughts please.
Is there such a thing as healthy jealousy and am I just being a tad unrealistic and over sensitive.
Thoughts please.
I think the emphasis is on "healthy", not on jealousy. It simply means that their relationship is rock-solid, and that a tiny detail like getting a call or a text from another guy is just a reminder for her partner, to not take her too much for granted.
There is nothing manipulative about it, you don't need to worry that you might get drawn into a "War of the Roses", and IMO you have no reason to trust her less.
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Susanne1: I think the emphasis is on "healthy", not on jealousy. It simply means that their relationship is rock-solid, and that a tiny detail like getting a call or a text from another guy is just a reminder for her partner, to not take her too much for granted.
There is nothing manipulative about it, you don't need to worry that you might get drawn into a "War of the Roses", and IMO you have no reason to trust her less.
There is nothing manipulative about it, you don't need to worry that you might get drawn into a "War of the Roses", and IMO you have no reason to trust her less.
It's a reminder that the relationship is not rock solid, it's a reminder of uncertainty and most of all it's a reminder to her that her mate may be desirable to other women: this forms an indispensible part of her attraction to him as women are so externally influenced, particularly by other women - e.g. women dress-up because of women, women fancy men more if her friends fancy him, and women incessantly chatter to, and seek advice from, other women to the extent where it is questionable whether they know their own mind at all.
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Rumple4skin: It's a reminder that the relationship is not rock solid, it's a reminder of uncertainty and most of all it's a reminder to her that her mate may be desirable to other women: this forms an indispensible part of her attraction to him as women are so externally influenced, particularly by other women - e.g. women dress-up because of women, women fancy men more if her friends fancy him, and women incessantly chatter to, and seek advice from, other women to the extent where it is questionable whether they know their own mind at all.
I disagree. It's a light-hearted comment often used when the notion, that something relatively insignificant to one's relationship could cause problems in said relationship, is rather comical.
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Susanne1: Oh, are we not? Maybe I'm not a woman then...
Seriously, you're generalising, I'm quite surprised. But it's okay, we don't have to agree.
Seriously, you're generalising, I'm quite surprised. But it's okay, we don't have to agree.
Of course I'm generalising. I'm identifying common traits and trends for over 3 billion people.
The fact remains that the modern female narrative does not explain why women like bad boys to such an extent, or why women are more turned on by the Alpha male than the Beta.
If I need science to back up my observations I could post links if you like? But I can assure you that I am not lying.
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Rumple4skin: Of course I'm generalising. I'm identifying common traits and trends for over 3 billion people.
The fact remains that the modern female narrative does not explain why women like bad boys to such an extent, or why women are more turned on by the Alpha male than the Beta.
If I need science to back up my observations I could post links if you like? But I can assure you that I am not lying.
The fact remains that the modern female narrative does not explain why women like bad boys to such an extent, or why women are more turned on by the Alpha male than the Beta.
If I need science to back up my observations I could post links if you like? But I can assure you that I am not lying.
Nah, I'm not interested in "good guys finish last" theories - they tend to be dull.
I said what I wanted to say in response to OP, no further discussion is needed.
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Susanne1: Nah, I'm not interested in "good guys finish last" theories - they tend to be dull.
I said what I wanted to say in response to OP, no further discussion is needed.
I said what I wanted to say in response to OP, no further discussion is needed.
Good guys tend to be dull? Yes, that's exactly what the findings & reality states.
But fair enough, opinion is opinion is opinion. Indifference to facts is in your liberty, although, perhaps not in your interest.
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Rumple4skin: Good guys tend to be dull? Yes, that's exactly what the findings & reality states.
But fair enough, opinion is opinion is opinion. Indifference to facts is in your liberty, although, perhaps not in your interest.
But fair enough, opinion is opinion is opinion. Indifference to facts is in your liberty, although, perhaps not in your interest.
Nice try - if I thought you were stupid, I'd let you get away with twisting the meaning of my words as such. It's not what I said, and you know it.
But since I respect your intellect and like the OP of this thread too much to want this to turn into a stupid squabble, I'll simply do this
and say: don't try that with me again. ------ This thread is Archived ------
Susanne1: Nice try - if I thought you were stupid, I'd let you get away with twisting the meaning of my words as such. It's not what I said, and you know it.
But since I respect your intellect and like the OP of this thread too much to want this to turn into a stupid squabble, I'll simply do this and say: don't try that with me again.
But since I respect your intellect and like the OP of this thread too much to want this to turn into a stupid squabble, I'll simply do this and say: don't try that with me again.
Oh come now, feigning your indignation and sense of being wronged - typical Woman. You know, I know, and we both know that each other knows that isn't what you meant. Just restating something that is already proven, twisting words is not necessary when the fact is known and observable.
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Godsgift: I was talking to a lady friend of mine last night who is married. I said to her that I make a point of not texting her or calling her too often in case her husband gets the wrong idea and it causes her problems at home. Her response surprised me when she said there was nothing wrong in a bit of healthy jealousy in a relationship.I can't help but feel this attitude is a bit manipulative and a bit dangerous to third person and somehow I no longer trust this lady just as much.
Is there such a thing as healthy jealousy and am I just being a tad unrealistic and over sensitive.
Thoughts please.
Is there such a thing as healthy jealousy and am I just being a tad unrealistic and over sensitive.
Thoughts please.
That would suggest to me she's using you, at least in part, to keep her husband interested in her. I would have thought there were healthier and more effective means of communication to do this.
It suggests to me she doesn't have much self-respect, or feelings of self-worth and perhaps this is linked with your recent statement that the ability to love others hinges upon loving and accepting the self.
The question perhaps, in the context of dealing with this situation, is how much do you love and respect yourself?
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jac379: That would suggest to me she's using you, at least in part, to keep her husband interested in her. I would have thought there were healthier and more effective means of communication to do this.
It suggests to me she doesn't have much self-respect, or feelings of self-worth and perhaps this is linked with your recent statement that the ability to love others hinges upon loving and accepting the self.
The question perhaps, in the context of dealing with this situation, is how much do you love and respect yourself?
It suggests to me she doesn't have much self-respect, or feelings of self-worth and perhaps this is linked with your recent statement that the ability to love others hinges upon loving and accepting the self.
The question perhaps, in the context of dealing with this situation, is how much do you love and respect yourself?
That's nonsense, you're imposing the female way of thinking upon men.
Men do not get attracted to women based upon the opinion of other men. This is what women do.
Jealousy and other games are female ploys in a relationship to maintain the spark, to prevent staleness. Women approach relationships entirely through their own feeling - notice how your entire post revolves around the Woman(in other words, yourself)and is ignorant and inconsiderate to the Man - he is almost a non-entity. This is complete self-obsession.
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jac379: That would suggest to me she's using you, at least in part, to keep her husband interested in her. I would have thought there were healthier and more effective means of communication to do this.
It suggests to me she doesn't have much self-respect, or feelings of self-worth and perhaps this is linked with your recent statement that the ability to love others hinges upon loving and accepting the self.
The question perhaps, in the context of dealing with this situation, is how much do you love and respect yourself?
It suggests to me she doesn't have much self-respect, or feelings of self-worth and perhaps this is linked with your recent statement that the ability to love others hinges upon loving and accepting the self.
The question perhaps, in the context of dealing with this situation, is how much do you love and respect yourself?
Pretty much spot on!IMO
I would only add that 'How much do you love & respect yourself & your partner?'
SHANTI
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Harleyquinn: Pretty much spot on!IMO
I would only add that 'How much do you love & respect yourself & your partner?'
SHANTI
I would only add that 'How much do you love & respect yourself & your partner?'
SHANTI
The last question was specifically directed at GG, but in another context, ie. from the perspective of the woman, yes, I agree totally.
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jac379: That would suggest to me she's using you, at least in part, to keep her husband interested in her. I would have thought there were healthier and more effective means of communication to do this.
It suggests to me she doesn't have much self-respect, or feelings of self-worth and perhaps this is linked with your recent statement that the ability to love others hinges upon loving and accepting the self.
The question perhaps, in the context of dealing with this situation, is how much do you love and respect yourself?
It suggests to me she doesn't have much self-respect, or feelings of self-worth and perhaps this is linked with your recent statement that the ability to love others hinges upon loving and accepting the self.
The question perhaps, in the context of dealing with this situation, is how much do you love and respect yourself?
Question: how is she using him? She didn't specifically ask him to call at certain times in order to make her husband jealous.
To me her reaction seems to indicate that what OP worries about is a non-issue to her; it probably hadn't even occurred to her that this might be a problem, until OP brought it up.
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Harleyquinn: Pretty much spot on!IMO
I would only add that 'How much do you love & respect yourself & your partner?'
SHANTI
SHANTI mean PEACE,What kind of vegetable you cook today,i like to have veg foodI would only add that 'How much do you love & respect yourself & your partner?'
SHANTI
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jac379: The last question was specifically directed at GG, but in another context, ie. from the perspective of the woman, yes, I agree totally.
I must admit, I don't feel to comfortable with it.
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Jack68: SHANTI mean PEACE,What kind of vegetable you cook today,i like to have veg food
That is what I take it to mean or rather spiritual peace.
That is what I wish to all at the end of all my posts!
Vegies today include carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, brusselsprouts,
onions, greenbeans/stringbeans & vitamin G (raw garlic).
Have any additional suggestions for me to try?(vegie wise)
SHANTI
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Jack68: SHANTI mean PEACE,What kind of vegetable you cook today,i like to have veg food
I can't think of a subject further removed. Get yer own.
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I can't help but feel this attitude is a bit manipulative and a bit dangerous to third person and somehow I no longer trust this lady just as much.
Is there such a thing as healthy jealousy and am I just being a tad unrealistic and over sensitive.
Thoughts please.