break-ups (15)

how long does it take to get over the break-up of a serious relationship?in what time-frame would a new relationship be considered to be a re-bound relationship?

You've heard the saying......the first cut is the deepest.

Took me a lot longer to get over a relationship when I was young, especially the father of my kids.

Maybe I just haven't met anyone I felt as deeply for lately.

I think I've gotten too damn independent in my old age
or maybe we don't give the heart so readily after its been broken

And that leads to a lot of "What ifs?"

What if I caught her in bed with someone else.....

- would I say that it was my fault because I wasn't good enough and now I will screw everyone I meet to prove it wasn't me?

- if I could perform 24/7 on demand would it be great for her?

Timeframe depends on when you get over whatever was the issue in your previous relationship. And sometimes the problems have been around for years and it takes a long time to recognise that a relationship is not going to improve.

My mother and step-father both really loved their respective spouses although did spend more than 20 years together. And both buried next to their 1st spouse.

It is only you who can recognise what you really want.

Yep, it is a very individual thing and depending on the circumstances of the break up, who knows, 6 weeks, 6 mths and for some people maybe 6 days!!

Meeting someone on the rebound who hasn't got over their recent break up sux, they have to be over their last relationship for things to work. When he calls you by his ex-wife's name by mistake is a deal breaker.



For me I need to be on my own for a while. Can't just drop into something right away. Need to lick my wounds a bit. Do some self analysis - that's the first week, by the second week, it's time to

once upon a time a very smart inelligent man crossed my path and told me that for each year it takes a month to get over... To a certain degree he is right.. But when childten are involved it takes longer.. Well for me it is

i believed in the sanctuary of marriage.. I still do which is why i won't go down that track again
breaking up when younger and not having children was so much easier

you will find your path.. The path that i have chosen is still a monogous relationship, but now it is built on friendship, companionship, mutual respect and honesty... and a lot more enduring than the marriage vows "to love honour, cherish for better or worse in sickness and health"

I think that the time taken to recover from a failed relationship depends on a few things. They could include: your level of emotional maturity and life experience; how long you had been in the relationship; and the circumstances that led to a parting of the ways.
My first break-up devastated me. I spent weeks crying and generally carrying on like a lunatic. I did not know that a person could be in that much mental pain and not die. I spent almost every night for three months sitting on the railing on the lookout on top of Castle Hill in Townsville reciting Hamlet's soliloquy. I still do not know why I did not jump off. When I reassembled the pieces of my mind I found that the folder titled 'romantic love' had been deleted from the operating system.
Since that time, no problems . . .

Carl, I been a little way down that path to seek oblivion. But then realised that I did not have the courage to go through with it. I have often heard people say it is the cowards way out but don't agree.

I was with a lady for a while and we discussed it a few times before she finally told me that she had gone 99.9% of the way. They found her in time. When I said that it must have taken a lot of courage to go that far when she would be leaving loved ones behind, she agreed with me about needed courage to even attempt it.

And even though she had been to many different nut-doctors about it over the years, I was the first person she really opened up to about it. Mainly because I did not condemn her for what she thought she should do at the time. And she did say that she was glad they had found her because she did have so many people that really loved her, even if they had different ways of showing it.