At what age............ (46)
josingleinspain: I would like to know at what age is it ok to leave your daughter at home lone for on night????? Both in a legal and moral sense???
I also want to know is it the done thing for a father to go and see his daughter at his ex's home and even spend the night there. The mother goes to her lover for the night. The daughter refuses to go to his house for a visit and insist he come visit her at her mothers......Cos she will be bored going to his house.
She claims she likes her own space...........
Please need advise.
I also want to know is it the done thing for a father to go and see his daughter at his ex's home and even spend the night there. The mother goes to her lover for the night. The daughter refuses to go to his house for a visit and insist he come visit her at her mothers......Cos she will be bored going to his house.
She claims she likes her own space...........
Please need advise.
Here it is 18 legally, morally for me it is not below that and when I feel they are mature enough and will be safe in my absence.
Very common for teenagers to stop/reduce visiting the absent parent, just purely out of the fact they would be bored and have nothing to do and their friends are not there (their words), its a teenage thing. I guess it boils down to what is best for everyone concerned. I would not have a problem with it if I was out of the house. Time for them to spend time with their dad in the environment they are used to, but also feel it is good for them to adjust and get used to staying in their dads, as this should also become a natural, comfortable environment for them, their second home. My aim as a parent would be to make them feel at home in both. Think it is great to maintain full relationship with both parents as it is sad when this is not the case.
Maybe make her room at her dads a home from home, bring the modern gadgets they need to survive with her when staying lol
But most of all, do what is best for her, she is the child in this,
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Legally the teens age represent what they can do or not. But this doesn't mean how mature they are for the responsabilities given.
like getting a licence or behave when hey are home alone.
The moral issues are even more easy to find, the home education determ that.
like getting a licence or behave when hey are home alone.
The moral issues are even more easy to find, the home education determ that.
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ohwiseone: Here it is 18 legally, morally for me it is not below that and when I feel they are mature enough and will be safe in my absence.
Very common for teenagers to stop/reduce visiting the absent parent, just purely out of the fact they would be bored and have nothing to do and their friends are not there (their words), its a teenage thing. I guess it boils down to what is best for everyone concerned. I would not have a problem with it if I was out of the house. Time for them to spend time with their dad in the environment they are used to, but also feel it is good for them to adjust and get used to staying in their dads, as this should also become a natural, comfortable environment for them, their second home. My aim as a parent would be to make them feel at home in both. Think it is great to maintain full relationship with both parents as it is sad when this is not the case.
Maybe make her room at her dads a home from home, bring the modern gadgets they need to survive with her when staying lol
But most of all, do what is best for her, she is the child in this,
So is it right that she has her way and everybody needs to do what she wants?????? Is it ok to allow a teenager to get her way. At what age do you teach them that the whole world is not supposed to revolve around what they want?????? If you always allow them to run the show.....are you really showing them how the real world works????Very common for teenagers to stop/reduce visiting the absent parent, just purely out of the fact they would be bored and have nothing to do and their friends are not there (their words), its a teenage thing. I guess it boils down to what is best for everyone concerned. I would not have a problem with it if I was out of the house. Time for them to spend time with their dad in the environment they are used to, but also feel it is good for them to adjust and get used to staying in their dads, as this should also become a natural, comfortable environment for them, their second home. My aim as a parent would be to make them feel at home in both. Think it is great to maintain full relationship with both parents as it is sad when this is not the case.
Maybe make her room at her dads a home from home, bring the modern gadgets they need to survive with her when staying lol
But most of all, do what is best for her, she is the child in this,
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josingleinspain: I would like to know at what age is it ok to leave your daughter at home lone for on night Both in a legal and moral senseI also want to know is it the done thing for a father to go and see his daughter at his ex's home
and even spend the night there. The mother goes to her lover for the night. The daughter refuses to go to his house for a visit and insist he come visit her at her mother's, Please need advise.
and even spend the night there. The mother goes to her lover for the night. The daughter refuses to go to his house for a visit and insist he come visit her at her mother's, Please need advise.
every young person has a legal age and an emotional maturity age and they develop their own mind about what they want. They need guidance, protection and boundaries only not someone to make their decisions -
given that - you don't need advice - you need to look at the child and decide.
Best of luck
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josingleinspain: I would like to know at what age is it ok to leave your daughter at home lone for on night????? Both in a legal and moral sense???
I also want to know is it the done thing for a father to go and see his daughter at his ex's home and even spend the night there. The mother goes to her lover for the night. The daughter refuses to go to his house for a visit and insist he come visit her at her mothers......Cos she will be bored going to his house.
She claims she likes her own space...........
Please need advise.
I also want to know is it the done thing for a father to go and see his daughter at his ex's home and even spend the night there. The mother goes to her lover for the night. The daughter refuses to go to his house for a visit and insist he come visit her at her mothers......Cos she will be bored going to his house.
She claims she likes her own space...........
Please need advise.
There is no legal age for a child to be left alone at home, in the UK.
If I were the father, I would want to meet my daughter on neutral territory, or at my new home. As your daughter will not go along with this there's not much you or dad can do.
Are you sure you haven't unconsciously influenced her to not want to visit her father, I don't mean influenced consciously, or has the father caused some upset in your home which may make her avoid him. I cannot understand her reluctance to visit him as this usually means being spoilt by dad.
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josingleinspain: So is it right that she has her way and everybody needs to do what she wants?????? Is it ok to allow a teenager to get her way. At what age do you teach them that the whole world is not supposed to revolve around what they want?????? If you always allow them to run the show.....are you really showing them how the real world works????
I don't know the legal or the moral age, mine is still too young to be left home alone over night. However, I don't think I'd ever do this before she turns 16. As for her wish for her father to come visit her at her own place, I find this a perfect valid request. It is her choice. So if I really want her to see her dad and for her not to lose this connection I would allow it. This is not about running the show, I see this as a very delicate problem.
Otherwise, if she wants what I consider an extremely expensive toy, sorry, darling, you have to study and have a well paid job for this. :)) If she doesn't want to do her homework, I take away nintendo, laptop, remote control, etc. I mean I let her run the show as long as it is acceptable. We don't like to be told what to do. Why would they like it ?
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tomcatwarne: There is no legal age for a child to be left alone at home, in the UK.
If I were the father, I would want to meet my daughter on neutral territory, or at my new home. As your daughter will not go along with this there's not much you or dad can do.
Are you sure you haven't unconsciously influenced her to not want to visit her father, I don't mean influenced consciously, or has the father caused some upset in your home which may make her avoid him. I cannot understand her reluctance to visit him as this usually means being spoilt by dad.
Well no the father is really calm he does not drink and is really a great father. He has been separated for 2 years now but still does everything the way his wife wants him too. The daughter is almost 17 and she will not visit him at his house ever......So the thing is he does all they tell/or demand him to. It makes it really difficult to have a relationship as he is still fully involved with their life. Even pays for his wife's rent, fixing her car, even her taxes for her business. So hence me asking how to deal with this. I have kids of my own but it is not about making them do what you want them to do but it is about them being flexible to other as well.........If I were the father, I would want to meet my daughter on neutral territory, or at my new home. As your daughter will not go along with this there's not much you or dad can do.
Are you sure you haven't unconsciously influenced her to not want to visit her father, I don't mean influenced consciously, or has the father caused some upset in your home which may make her avoid him. I cannot understand her reluctance to visit him as this usually means being spoilt by dad.
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josingleinspain: Well no the father is really calm he does not drink and is really a great father. He has been separated for 2 years now but still does everything the way his wife wants him too. The daughter is almost 17 and she will not visit him at his house ever......So the thing is he does all they tell/or demand him to. It makes it really difficult to have a relationship as he is still fully involved with their life. Even pays for his wife's rent, fixing her car, even her taxes for her business. So hence me asking how to deal with this. I have kids of my own but it is not about making them do what you want them to do but it is about them being flexible to other as well.........
What you say now changes the story. You actually worry because he is still very much involved in his ex wife's life. I'm afraid this is for you to sort it out with him and understand how much he still cares for her , unless it's nothing more than their financial arrangement and then you don't have to worry.
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josingleinspain: So is it right that she has her way and everybody needs to do what she wants?????? Is it ok to allow a teenager to get her way. At what age do you teach them that the whole world is not supposed to revolve around what they want?????? If you always allow them to run the show.....are you really showing them how the real world works????
the phrase "choose your battles wisely" comes to mind.
let them run their own show as much as possible. it is a parents job to teach them to become adults. They must learn to run their own show.
as far as being overnight alone. I would refrain from that and have them go to a friend's house overnight if you are not going to be home until they are in their twenties or out of the house. Unless of course her father wants to come over and babysit.....
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josingleinspain: Well no the father is really calm he does not drink and is really a great father. He has been separated for 2 years now but still does everything the way his wife wants him too. The daughter is almost 17 and she will not visit him at his house ever......So the thing is he does all they tell/or demand him to. It makes it really difficult to have a relationship as he is still fully involved with their life. Even pays for his wife's rent, fixing her car, even her taxes for her business. So hence me asking how to deal with this. I have kids of my own but it is not about making them do what you want them to do but it is about them being flexible to other as well.........
perhaps you erred in getting involved with this man. I certainly would not. You may need to end things and find someone who is truly available. In the end your quitting him may wake him up to the fact that he needs to do the same (learn to move on) if he wants another chance at love
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felixis99: the phrase "choose your battles wisely" comes to mind.
let them run their own show as much as possible. it is a parents job to teach them to become adults. They must learn to run their own show.
as far as being overnight alone. I would refrain from that and have them go to a friend's house overnight if you are not going to be home until they are in their twenties or out of the house. Unless of course her father wants to come over and babysit.....
let them run their own show as much as possible. it is a parents job to teach them to become adults. They must learn to run their own show.
as far as being overnight alone. I would refrain from that and have them go to a friend's house overnight if you are not going to be home until they are in their twenties or out of the house. Unless of course her father wants to come over and babysit.....
Seems an odd sugestion to me, babysitting a 17 year old girl, I would think that would cause war, In less than a year, in the UK, she can laeve home, do what she wants. JMO
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tomcatwarne: Seems an odd sugestion to me, babysitting a 17 year old girl, I would think that would cause war, In less than a year, in the UK, she can laeve home, do what she wants. JMO
is this why the mother usually gets custody? and are u following me in the threads to argue?
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tomcatwarne: Seems an odd sugestion to me, babysitting a 17 year old girl, I would think that would cause war, In less than a year, in the UK, she can laeve home, do what she wants. JMO
Off coarse I do not wanne come between him and his child I would never allow a man to come between me and my kids....but really at 17 I think it is time to cut the apron strings. The best part is she is allowed to go out till 12/1 in the night then she can take care of herself. So it just does not make sense to "baby sit" her at her own house where she can stay over at her dads.------ This thread is Archived ------
josingleinspain: Off coarse I do not wanne come between him and his child I would never allow a man to come between me and my kids....but really at 17 I think it is time to cut the apron strings. The best part is she is allowed to go out till 12/1 in the night then she can take care of herself. So it just does not make sense to "baby sit" her at her own house where she can stay over at her dads.
what is best for her?
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and to actually answer your question Tom. To me, and this is just my opinion, I would be concerned about what went on under my roof when I was not there. Or, what could happen by accident like a power outage or over flowing toilet etc. Of course that also depends upon the maturity of the teen.
If she goes to a friends place I have more peace of mind. And girls at that age like overnights to do hair & make up and listen to music etc etc. so it is possibly a win win
If she goes to a friends place I have more peace of mind. And girls at that age like overnights to do hair & make up and listen to music etc etc. so it is possibly a win win
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felixis99: is this why the mother usually gets custody? and are u following me in the threads to argue?
No I am not following you, if you make a comment and I wish to answer I will, it's difficult not to reply when you are all over the posts.
And I can't see a mother getting custody of a 17 year old young lady.
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tomcatwarne: No I am not following you, if you make a comment and I wish to answer I will, it's difficult not to reply when you are all over the posts.
And I can't see a mother getting custody of a 17 year old young lady.
And I can't see a mother getting custody of a 17 year old young lady.
17 is not legal age here. She would most likely be able to choose a parent unless one of them opted out or was unfit.
you could be arrested here for intimate involvement, for example. In the US, 17 y/o are still in high school and thus legally live at home or a foster home.
18 is legal age, but only a handful of 18 y/os are really mature enough for it. But legal age has gotta happen sometime....
but even without the legal environment my opinion is that 17 y/os are definitely still children rather than young adults who I'd say speaks to the 20-somethings
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I hear you JO, it sounds to me you are doing a good job in difficult circumstances, I have a daughter, older than yours, and her teens were traumatic for both myself and her mother(divorced now), sometimes your damned if you do and damned if you don't. Good luck and don't forget you deserve some happiness too 
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josingleinspain: I would like to know at what age is it ok to leave your daughter at home lone for on night????? Both in a legal and moral sense???
I also want to know is it the done thing for a father to go and see his daughter at his ex's home and even spend the night there. The mother goes to her lover for the night. The daughter refuses to go to his house for a visit and insist he come visit her at her mothers......Cos she will be bored going to his house.
She claims she likes her own space...........
Please need advise.
I also want to know is it the done thing for a father to go and see his daughter at his ex's home and even spend the night there. The mother goes to her lover for the night. The daughter refuses to go to his house for a visit and insist he come visit her at her mothers......Cos she will be bored going to his house.
She claims she likes her own space...........
Please need advise.
I never left my son along at home til he was 18.It's not that I didn't trust him cause he was very mature for his age but he was still a minor.
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I also want to know is it the done thing for a father to go and see his daughter at his ex's home and even spend the night there. The mother goes to her lover for the night. The daughter refuses to go to his house for a visit and insist he come visit her at her mothers......Cos she will be bored going to his house.
She claims she likes her own space...........
Please need advise.