Things you son't want to hear..................... (8)

Nov 29, 2012 12:34 PM CST Things you son't want to hear.....................
curlywolf
curlywolfcurlywolfmontreal, Quebec Canada402 Threads 7,052 Posts
10 Things You Don't Want To Hear In The Airport



10. "We have a lost child at gate D-4, the bidding will start at $20."

9. "I'm sorry madam, but we cannot allow you to bring your cat on board. We don't yet know the effects of high radiation on our feline friends. And we are required to check your bags."

8. "Yes sir, we are aware of the biohazard tag on your luggage and no, you don't want to know its origin. I recommend you refrain from opening your suitcase."

7. "Yes sir, importing Cuban cigars is illegal, that's why the security officer had to confiscate them. What? He's smoking them? Hey! You rat! Save some for me!"

6. "I'm sorry madam, but our insurance policy does not cover punctures in your bags caused by our checking attendants. No, it also does not cover airline crashes. It does cover explosions prior to takeoff, however, and is our most commonly purchased package."

5. "Attention all airline passengers, your flight has been delayed."

4. "For those who have never flown before or who have never heard about the concept of a flying machine: We are currently experiencing 'turbulence,' a common by-product of 'air travel.' Please refrain from screams of mortal danger until we've safely landed."

3. "Madam, please take your food now, the tongs are melting."

2. "We apologize for the delay. Due to extenuating circumstances, our pilot is experiencing difficulties with his sobriety level. Please allow sufficient time for him to have additional shots of tequila."

1. "This is your captain speaking, on the left you can now observe the majestic Mount Kilamanjar... oh, crap!"
Nov 29, 2012 12:35 PM CST Things you son't want to hear.....................
curlywolf
curlywolfcurlywolfmontreal, Quebec Canada402 Threads 7,052 Posts
Sorry for any typos....my keyboard hates me (the feeling is mutual)laugh
Nov 29, 2012 7:07 PM CST Things you son't want to hear.....................
solitare
solitaresolitareBariloche, Rio Negro Argentina40 Threads 4,041 Posts
Pilot on speaker,"Has any passenger flown to----before?
If so, could you stop by the Pilot's cabin and point it out when we get near it?" rolling on the floor laughing
Nov 29, 2012 7:44 PM CST Things you son't want to hear.....................
curlywolf
curlywolfcurlywolfmontreal, Quebec Canada402 Threads 7,052 Posts
solitare: Pilot on speaker,"Has any passenger flown to----before?
If so, could you stop by the Pilot's cabin and point it out when we get near it?"




rolling on the floor laughing that would probably happen to me laugh
Nov 29, 2012 10:22 PM CST Things you son't want to hear.....................
A_Non_A_Moose
A_Non_A_MooseA_Non_A_MooseWestlock, Alberta Canada116 Threads 8 Polls 4,340 Posts
curlywolf: Sorry for any typos....my keyboard hates me (the feeling is mutual)


rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing At least you have a keyboard to blame! Me, its just my fingers, eyes, and brain stem functionality!laugh
Nov 30, 2012 8:45 AM CST Things you son't want to hear.....................
curlywolf
curlywolfcurlywolfmontreal, Quebec Canada402 Threads 7,052 Posts
A_Non_A_Moose: At least you have a keyboard to blame! Me, its just my fingers, eyes, and brain stem functionality!




rolling on the floor laughing tongue
Dec 9, 2012 10:08 AM CST Things you son't want to hear.....................
nobody1
nobody1nobody1sudbury, Ontario Canada2 Threads 26 Posts
curlywolf: 10 Things You Don't Want To Hear In The Airport
10. "We have a lost child at gate D-4, the bidding will start at $20."

9. "I'm sorry madam, but we cannot allow you to bring your cat on board. We don't yet know the effects of high radiation on our feline friends. And we are required to check your bags."

8. "Yes sir, we are aware of the biohazard tag on your luggage and no, you don't want to know its origin. I recommend you refrain from opening your suitcase."

7. "Yes sir, importing Cuban cigars is illegal, that's why the security officer had to confiscate them. What? He's smoking them? Hey! You rat! Save some for me!"

6. "I'm sorry madam, but our insurance policy does not cover punctures in your bags caused by our checking attendants. No, it also does not cover airline crashes. It does cover explosions prior to takeoff, however, and is our most commonly purchased package."

5. "Attention all airline passengers, your flight has been delayed."

4. "For those who have never flown before or who have never heard about the concept of a flying machine: We are currently experiencing 'turbulence,' a common by-product of 'air travel.' Please refrain from screams of mortal danger until we've safely landed."

3. "Madam, please take your food now, the tongs are melting."

2. "We apologize for the delay. Due to extenuating circumstances, our pilot is experiencing difficulties with his sobriety level. Please allow sufficient time for him to have additional shots of tequila."

1. "This is your captain speaking, on the left you can now observe the majestic Mount Kilamanjar... oh, crap!"
there's actually 11 things" sorry the plane has just ran out fuel so we have to make an emergency landing,(1400 ft above the atlantic ocean)
Dec 9, 2012 5:44 PM CST Things you son't want to hear.....................
curlywolf
curlywolfcurlywolfmontreal, Quebec Canada402 Threads 7,052 Posts
nobody1: there's actually 11 things" sorry the plane has just ran out fuel so we have to make an emergency landing,(1400 ft above the atlantic ocean)



That would be among the top 10 for sure laugh
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