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Something like this,,
Ring ring,,,
Uh hello ? (harp music in background)
Hi Jesse,, this is Ben. (organ music in background)
Oh Hi Ben, hear you will be joining us soon, but can't you wait until you expire as our spokesman down there ?
Jess, I just can't take this stress no more, what with all the sht going on down here, it ain't what it used to be, all that sin, gay marriage, child molestation, can't burn em at the stake no more, can't torture, only thing left is to condemn them to hell for eternity, and they just ain't listening to that either. What's the use, Jess ?
I guess I'll have to take another trip down there and knock some heads, just when I'm recuperating from my last trip. Dad was saying the other day that he was really getting upset with no-one getting their sht together so his plan can finally kick in. He said he was getting ready to send me but not by the old route. I asked him to send Mom, that my hands were still hurting but he wouldn't hear it.
I feel your pain Jesse,, you can surely imagine mine, so I gotta go.
Ok if you have to,, we've been looking at a guy named Peter to replace you anyhow and if he does not work out we'll just have to put an end to this whole charade on the 7 hills. We'll talk further when you get here.
Ok Jesse, bye,,,
We'll be seeing you Ben,,,