Jealousy (136)
SmenkareHubbard, Texas USA13 Threads 3 Polls 52 PostsThe green eyed monster. Why is it so often used to test the strength of a relationship?
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i'm not so sure it's 'used' to test a relationship but doubt certainly erodes a relationship, and leads to negative choices. jealousy points to insecurity based on real or imagined fears disrupting the flow of love. trust is love. the sad part is when one lets their jealousy control their thoughts and actions, it is a poison that does not serve the love. there is no jealousy in love. hopefully the 'we' takes precedence and the couple discuss and develop a plan to deal with it, and one that strengthens their partnership.
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jono7: i'm not so sure it's 'used' to test a relationship but doubt certainly erodes a relationship, and leads to negative choices. jealousy points to insecurity based on real or imagined fears disrupting the flow of love. trust is love. the sad part is when one lets their jealousy control their thoughts and actions, it is a poison that does not serve the love. there is no jealousy in love. hopefully the 'we' takes precedence and the couple discuss and develop a plan to deal with it, and one that strengthens their partnership.
Jealousy is a normal human reaction if you see someone being inappropriately favoured by your loved one. Best thing to do is do the same thing back. Get the smarts
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tomcatwarne: Jealousy is a normal human reaction if you see someone being inappropriately favoured by your loved one. Best thing to do is do the same thing back. Get the smarts
Oh ya, playing games is so much more appropriate than communication in a relationship.
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tomcatwarne: Jealousy is a normal human reaction if you see someone being inappropriately favoured by your loved one. Best thing to do is do the same thing back. Get the smarts
hiya tomcatwarne
i agree that jealousy is a normal human reaction and needs to be acknowledged and owned (felt), but where we part ways is in our response. i can not choose how i think, but i can choose how i act or behave. how can intentionally acting in a way to create jealousy in one's partner be advantageous for any sense of 'we'?
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tomcatwarne: Jealousy is a normal human reaction if you see someone being inappropriately favoured by your loved one. Best thing to do is do the same thing back. Get the smarts
So you play games instead of communicating with whomever.Real grownup.
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tomcatwarne: Jealousy is a normal human reaction if you see someone being inappropriately favoured by your loved one. Best thing to do is do the same thing back. Get the smarts
That advice is the express lane to relationship disaster.
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jono7: hiya tomcatwarne
i agree that jealousy is a normal human reaction and needs to be acknowledged and owned (felt), but where we part ways is in our response. i can not choose how i think, but i can choose how i act or behave. how can intentionally acting in a way to create jealousy in one's partner be advantageous for any sense of 'we'?
i agree that jealousy is a normal human reaction and needs to be acknowledged and owned (felt), but where we part ways is in our response. i can not choose how i think, but i can choose how i act or behave. how can intentionally acting in a way to create jealousy in one's partner be advantageous for any sense of 'we'?
Please elaborate.......
I don't understand this thought.
Thanks
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tomcatwarne: Jealousy is a normal human reaction if you see someone being inappropriately favoured by your loved one. Best thing to do is do the same thing back. Get the smarts
When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
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Jealousy Tango
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purr4mance: Please elaborate.......
I don't understand this thought.
Thanks
I don't understand this thought.
Thanks
i have an undisciplined mind. thoughts 'pop' into it all the time that i struggle against. so for now, i am unable to choose my thoughts (thinking) all the time. in response to this, i employ a 'second defense' of thinking... sometimes successfully, other times not so...
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Jealousy is a normal human reaction if you see someone being inappropriately favoured by your loved one. Best thing to do is do the same thing back. Get the smarts[/quote]
I agree that jealousy is a normal behaviour IF your partner is paying more attention to someone else when you are in the same environment, but I do not agree with you Tom that two wrongs make a right. What good does it do to have two people feeling unloved, two people steaming with anger, two people using the silent treatment. Wouldn't it be better for the jealous person to ask the partner what was going on.
I agree that jealousy is a normal behaviour IF your partner is paying more attention to someone else when you are in the same environment, but I do not agree with you Tom that two wrongs make a right. What good does it do to have two people feeling unloved, two people steaming with anger, two people using the silent treatment. Wouldn't it be better for the jealous person to ask the partner what was going on.
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montemonte: Jealousy is a normal human reaction if you see someone being inappropriately favoured by your loved one. Best thing to do is do the same thing back. Get the smartsI agree that jealousy is a normal behaviour IF your partner is paying more attention to someone else when you are in the same environment, but I do not agree with you Tom that two wrongs make a right. What good does it do to have two people feeling unloved, two people steaming with anger, two people using the silent treatment. Wouldn't it be better for the jealous person to ask the partner what was going on.
Perhaps it would be less confrontational to express one's feelings, in the knowledge they might not be entirely appropriate.
To ask someone what's going on smacks of the jealous, controlling abusive type assuming every polite thank you in a store is indicative of infidelity.
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jono7: i have an undisciplined mind. thoughts 'pop' into it all the time that i struggle against. so for now, i am unable to choose my thoughts (thinking) all the time. in response to this, i employ a 'second defense' of thinking... sometimes successfully, other times not so...
I think that's called being self-aware.
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jac379: Perhaps it would be less confrontational to express one's feelings, in the knowledge they might not be entirely appropriate.
To ask someone what's going on smacks of the jealous, controlling abusive type assuming every polite thank you in a store is indicative of infidelity.
To ask someone what's going on smacks of the jealous, controlling abusive type assuming every polite thank you in a store is indicative of infidelity.
hiya jac
wow! that hits it on the head...i love how you stated that. i had not previously really thought about it in those terms..so clear.
hit me like a hammer
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jac379: Perhaps it would be less confrontational to express one's feelings, in the knowledge they might not be entirely appropriate.
To ask someone what's going on smacks of the jealous, controlling abusive type assuming every polite thank you in a store is indicative of infidelity.
To ask someone what's going on smacks of the jealous, controlling abusive type assuming every polite thank you in a store is indicative of infidelity.
I understand that you're saying one should not say "what's going on" because that enforces that there was infidelity but I'm not understanding the rest of what you're saying Jac.
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Godsgift: When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
oh pooh.
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jono7: i have an undisciplined mind. thoughts 'pop' into it all the time that i struggle against. so for now, i am unable to choose my thoughts (thinking) all the time. in response to this, i employ a 'second defense' of thinking... sometimes successfully, other times not so...
You are not responsible for your first thought, only what you do with it. Took me years to learn to control my emotions and not let them dictate to me. Dangerous things emotions when they control you.
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jono7: i have an undisciplined mind. thoughts 'pop' into it all the time that i struggle against. so for now, i am unable to choose my thoughts (thinking) all the time. in response to this, i employ a 'second defense' of thinking... sometimes successfully, other times not so...
Spend some quite time without your thoughts, your mind will protest at first for being ignored... but it has to be put in it's place...
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Created: Mar 2013
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