A bloke says to his Mrs .... (21)
Love it.
Nice.
Nice.
One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a
Christmas gift...
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....
Christmas gift...
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....
I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!'
she said.
So I suggested,
'How about the kitchen?'
And that's when the fight started...
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!'
she said.
So I suggested,
'How about the kitchen?'
And that's when the fight started...
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust'
And then the fight started..
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust'
And then the fight started..
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3
seconds.'
I bought her a set of bathroom scales.
And then the fight started...
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3
seconds.'
I bought her a set of bathroom scales.
And then the fight started...
My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and
she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at
a nearby table.
I asked her, 'Do you know him?'
'Yes,' she sighed,
'He's my old boyfriend.... I understand he took to drinking right after
we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober
since.'
'My God!' I said,
'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...
she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at
a nearby table.
I asked her, 'Do you know him?'
'Yes,' she sighed,
'He's my old boyfriend.... I understand he took to drinking right after
we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober
since.'
'My God!' I said,
'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...
snagsmoore: My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and
she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at
a nearby table.
I asked her, 'Do you know him?'
'Yes,' she sighed,
'He's my old boyfriend.... I understand he took to drinking right after
we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober
since.'
'My God!' I said,
'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...
she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at
a nearby table.
I asked her, 'Do you know him?'
'Yes,' she sighed,
'He's my old boyfriend.... I understand he took to drinking right after
we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober
since.'
'My God!' I said,
'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...
Thats like the one where is wife asked darling does my bum look big in this dress .... and he replied
Sweeet heart your bum looks big in everything ... and thats when the fight started ...
Not a wife story.
Reaching the end of a job interview, I asked the young graduate from uni “And what starting salary were you looking for”
The candidate said “Somewhere around $100,000 a year depending on the package”
I responded “Well, what would you say to a package of 6 weeks holiday, extra superannuation payments, a subsidised leased car – say a Porsche - new every two years?”
The young guy sat up straight and said “Wow!! Are you kidding?”
“Of course … but you started it”
Reaching the end of a job interview, I asked the young graduate from uni “And what starting salary were you looking for”
The candidate said “Somewhere around $100,000 a year depending on the package”
I responded “Well, what would you say to a package of 6 weeks holiday, extra superannuation payments, a subsidised leased car – say a Porsche - new every two years?”
The young guy sat up straight and said “Wow!! Are you kidding?”
“Of course … but you started it”
snagsmoore: I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!'
she said.
So I suggested,
'How about the kitchen?'
And that's when the fight started...
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!'
she said.
So I suggested,
'How about the kitchen?'
And that's when the fight started...
Husband said to wife
Going out to make moonshine
Wife said to husband
Here is a rag and polish take your time and do a good job
That's when the fight started
sorry just made that up
Going out to make moonshine
Wife said to husband
Here is a rag and polish take your time and do a good job
That's when the fight started
sorry just made that up
Two poofs '(gay men for the politically correct)' decided to play a game of hide n seek ....
One Poof '(gay man for the politically correct)' said to the other poof '(gay man for the politically correct)' if you find me you can F ucK me ..
Just as one poof '(gay man for the politically correct)' was about to run off and hide the other Poof '(gay man for the politically correct)' pipped out in a whiney voice ... BuT Simon .... Simon ... what i cannot find you ...
and thats when Simon '(the second gay man for the politically correct)' piped up and said its Ok Sebastian '(the first gay man for the politically correct)' I'll be behind the piano !! ....
One Poof '(gay man for the politically correct)' said to the other poof '(gay man for the politically correct)' if you find me you can F ucK me ..
Just as one poof '(gay man for the politically correct)' was about to run off and hide the other Poof '(gay man for the politically correct)' pipped out in a whiney voice ... BuT Simon .... Simon ... what i cannot find you ...
and thats when Simon '(the second gay man for the politically correct)' piped up and said its Ok Sebastian '(the first gay man for the politically correct)' I'll be behind the piano !! ....
PrOwLeR_: Two poofs '(gay men for the politically correct)' decided to play a game of hide n seek .... One Poof '(gay man for the politically correct)' said to the other poof '(gay man for the politically correct)' if you find me you can F ucK me ..Just as one poof '(gay man for the politically correct)' was about to run off and hide the other Poof '(gay man for the politically correct)' pipped out in a whiney voice ... BuT Simon .... Simon ... what i cannot find you ...and thats when Simon '(the second gay man for the politically correct)' piped up and said its Ok Sebastian '(the first gay man for the politically correct)' I'll be behind the piano !! ....
Sorry
Is that when the fight started 
Gonna have to explain a bit clearer for me love 
Lookin4missright: Sorry Is that when the fight started Gonna have to explain a bit clearer for me love
Its one of those jokes where you had to be there
Lookin4missright: Sorry Is that when the fight started Gonna have to explain a bit clearer for me love
nargh LooK'N the fight did not start until the first poof '(gay men for the politically correct)' found the mechanic working on the car in the garage ... believe me thats when the fight started ..........
PrOwLeR_: nargh LooK'N the fight did not start until the first poof '(gay men for the politically correct)' found the mechanic working on the car in the garage ... believe me thats when the fight started ..........
K mate
Carry on Lookin4missright: K mate Carry on
.............
............ cheers LooK'N ..... wash2u: Choices between Friday night footy and.........................................................................................................
What was the other thing she said was important to her????????
What was the other thing she said was important to her????????
Finding the remote to take batteries out and use in .......... no matter
Since the snow came all the wife has done is look through the window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.
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Created: May 2013
Last Viewed: 3 hrs ago
Last Commented: May 2013
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She said I'd take half and leave you ya BarstuD ....
He said here I won $ 12.oo last night take ya six bucks and Pi$$ off ...