Why do men falsely presume you are trying to jump-start a relationship just because you are being fr ( Archived) (28)

May 2, 2013 9:05 PM CST Why do men falsely presume you are trying to jump-start a relationship just because you are being fr
I've had many men avoid me just because I was friendly but I had NO interest in having a relationship with them. Are men so egocentric that just because you talk to them as a person they presume "you wanna be startin' somethin'?"
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May 2, 2013 9:07 PM CST Why do men falsely presume you are trying to jump-start a relationship just because you are being fr
Jillll
JillllJillllRancho Cucamonga, California USA3 Threads 1 Polls 1,390 Posts
Some men do seem to confuse being friendly with flirting.
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May 2, 2013 9:10 PM CST Why do men falsely presume you are trying to jump-start a relationship just because you are being fr
Bogart_1960
Bogart_1960Bogart_1960Ask me !, Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur France36 Threads 1 Polls 10,012 Posts
Why do people generalize? (not men or women)
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May 2, 2013 9:33 PM CST Why do men falsely presume you are trying to jump-start a relationship just because you are being fr
fallen_wolf
fallen_wolffallen_wolfBatam, Riau Island, Riau Islands Indonesia3 Threads 805 Posts
KIBALUV: I've had many men avoid me just because I was friendly but I had NO interest in having a relationship with them. Are men so egocentric that just because you talk to them as a person they presume "you wanna be startin' somethin'?"


I learned that few days ago. We're only mail back n forth n chat. Sometimes I just flirt but I dont anything by it. And he sent excessived msgs. and somehow in that less than 48 hours he thinks he owned me or something. He used dif ID's to see if Im online or not? so this fake ID kept sending me req add b on messenger which I kept rejecting. and then to my curiosity I ask if he doesnt explain who is he, dont bother requesting!. And then using his real ID he went nuts on me cus Im was online but hiding from him. So he started insulting me, calling me names under the sun, calling me a scammer and made a threat that he gonna call the company that I'm gonna work with so they re-think twice before I start the job.

I know he got some problems comprehending things, and the "tunnel vision" he had in mind, arguing with him is pointless. My mistake was ignores the red flags from the start blues Im such an idiot blues
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May 2, 2013 9:34 PM CST Why do men falsely presume you are trying to jump-start a relationship just because you are being fr
Nikogas
NikogasNikogasMetro, Oregon USA46 Threads 5 Polls 4,037 Posts
KIBALUV: I've had many men avoid me just because I was friendly but I had NO interest in having a relationship with them. Are men so egocentric that just because you talk to them as a person they presume "you wanna be startin' somethin'?"


It is hard for me to say though I think that there might be some people that are just so hopeful they might not take the time to really examine the situation. OR....LOL, they just jump at anything that moves. I have read some profiles where the woman (in this case) actually made it clear in writing that they did not want to make friends and that they are here to meet a guy for long term relation only and to not waste their time with anything else. But for me I think that it has always been pretty straight forward when I met someone and it was not just to be friends. Maybe I have been fortunate in that those women were very open about their intentions and though that only happens on every 3rd year after a full moon, it is always a nice feeling when it finally happens and the feeling is mutual.
uh oh
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May 3, 2013 8:07 AM CST Why do men falsely presume you are trying to jump-start a relationship just because you are being fr
newinsouth
newinsouthnewinsouthAiken, South Carolina USA26 Threads 2 Polls 1,039 Posts
I've had many men tell me they could not be friends with a woman. It's a shame their nature prevents it. Even if they "say" they can be friends you can feel that they expect more. What a shame. Of course when they are old and gray and need someone to take care of them, they will be devoted, sincere, honest and compliant.

doh
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May 3, 2013 8:13 AM CST Why do men falsely presume you are trying to jump-start a relationship just because you are being fr
joyaepace
joyaepacejoyaepaceGalway, Ireland11 Threads 2 Polls 958 Posts
KIBALUV: I've had many men avoid me just because I was friendly but I had NO interest in having a relationship with them. Are men so egocentric that just because you talk to them as a person they presume "you wanna be startin' somethin'?"


Prevalence of the instinct to mate over other thoughts may be? laugh
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May 3, 2013 8:34 AM CST Why do men falsely presume you are trying to jump-start a relationship just because you are being fr
Iuchi_Zien
Iuchi_ZienIuchi_ZienSheffield, South Yorkshire, England UK21 Threads 9 Polls 1,426 Posts
fallen_wolf:
I know he got some problems comprehending things, and the "tunnel vision" he had in mind, arguing with him is pointless. My mistake was ignores the red flags from the start Im such an idiot


Been there, done that, got the teeshirt!
I should have got the hint when my ex-wifes best friend told me, "Run, Don't walk, Run and don't look back!" A Russian friend who I introduced her to said "Are you really sure? I think you are going to regret your choice". But as they say, love is blind, deaf and stupid, and by the time you realise what you have got into it's too late!
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May 3, 2013 9:18 AM CST Why do men falsely presume you are trying to jump-start a relationship just because you are being fr
menu11
menu11menu11Galveston, Texas USA1,323 Posts
KIBALUV: I've had many men avoid me just because I was friendly but I had NO interest in having a relationship with them. Are men so egocentric that just because you talk to them as a person they presume "you wanna be startin' somethin'?"


Hell NO!!! Friendly or not, I could care less if you the OP thinks that way, or anyone for that matter.tongue
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May 3, 2013 10:34 AM CST Why do men falsely presume you are trying to jump-start a relationship just because you are being fr
menu11
menu11menu11Galveston, Texas USA1,323 Posts
joyaepace: So, being rude is there for reason? Enhances communication, ha ha!


Perhaps your just that way....rude.tongue
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May 3, 2013 11:08 AM CST Why do men falsely presume you are trying to jump-start a relationship just because you are being fr
chris27292729
chris27292729chris27292729IOS island, South Aegean Greece93 Threads 15,811 Posts
""?aven't stopped learning,as am getting older."" A Sokrates quote by some,A Solon one by others.We constantly learn with every second in our lives. cheers
fallen_wolf: I learned that few days ago. We're only mail back n forth n chat. Sometimes I just flirt but I dont anything by it. And he sent excessived msgs. and somehow in that less than 48 hours he thinks he owned me or something. He used dif ID's to see if Im online or not? so this fake ID kept sending me req add b on messenger which I kept rejecting. and then to my curiosity I ask if he doesnt explain who is he, dont bother requesting!. And then using his real ID he went nuts on me cus Im was online but hiding from him. So he started insulting me, calling me names under the sun, calling me a scammer and made a threat that he gonna call the company that I'm gonna work with so they re-think twice before I start the job.

I know he got some problems comprehending things, and the "tunnel vision" he had in mind, arguing with him is pointless. My mistake was ignores the red flags from the start Im such an idiot
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May 3, 2013 11:34 AM CST Why do men falsely presume you are trying to jump-start a relationship just because you are being fr
roongmitra
roongmitraroongmitraChaiangmai, Northern Thailand Thailand26 Threads 349 Posts
KIBALUV: I've had many men avoid me just because I was friendly but I had NO interest in having a relationship with them. Are men so egocentric that just because you talk to them as a person they presume "you wanna be startin' somethin'?"


I have contact with someone he doesnt likes sharp tongue woman , maybe he likes to talk with someone who talk about same thing with him such a liar rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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May 3, 2013 11:49 AM CST Why do men falsely presume you are trying to jump-start a relationship just because you are being fr
check_mate
check_matecheck_mateLondon, Greater London, England UK42 Threads 12 Polls 968 Posts
That's a good question kibaluv. I know several women who have only been friendly to a man, not flirty but when the man is rejected, his response has been to send nasty messages and photos to purposely try to humiliate them. I was amazed, really when I saw the content. I mean truthfully what woman wants to see a man considerably older in all his glory, rolls of fat on his stomach and something surrounded by a mass of grey hairs through lack of grooming, enough to turn your stomach. These types don't even bother to take care of their looks as they get older. All I can say is not all men are like that but sometimes the older ones are the worse especially the ones frustrated by the fact they cannot meet a woman and someone here has hit the nail on the head, these types are not looking for love just a fb if you get my drift..........A holes!!
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May 3, 2013 12:26 PM CST Why do men falsely presume you are trying to jump-start a relationship just because you are being fr
joyaepace
joyaepacejoyaepaceGalway, Ireland11 Threads 2 Polls 958 Posts
Bogart_1960: Why do people generalize? (not men or women)


Because it is a useful method to make sense of the patterns of other people's behaviour, world processes, etc. Without generalization, there would be no science, neither natural, nor social. You could not establish any natural laws if you think they will be different every time. All leave on the tree are different, so should we not classify them as leaves of a particular kind of tree? You could also not describe basic economic model of supply and demand if you keep asserting that not all people's consumption patterns are the same. There are differences, of course, but supply and demand law is a real phenomenon. It is also a tool for survival - people had and still have to categorize threats, distinguish them from non threats, decide on reaction, and so on. You could not speculate that not all tigers are the same, and that this tiger jumping on you is probably different, he just wants to play rather than eat you. Most forum threads are generalizations. Otherwise all what you can talk about is just yourself. Kind of boring, no? And you get comments like: that is just you, we are different!
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May 3, 2013 12:45 PM CST Why do men falsely presume you are trying to jump-start a relationship just because you are being fr
Bogart_1960
Bogart_1960Bogart_1960Ask me !, Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur France36 Threads 1 Polls 10,012 Posts
joyaepace: Because it is a useful method to make sense of the patterns of other people's behaviour, world processes, etc. Without generalization, there would be no science, neither natural, nor social. You could not establish any natural laws if you think they will be different every time. All leave on the tree are different, so should we not classify them as leaves of a particular kind of tree? You could also not describe basic economic model of supply and demand if you keep asserting that not all people's consumption patterns are the same. There are differences, of course, but supply and demand law is a real phenomenon. It is also a tool for survival - people had and still have to categorize threats, distinguish them from non threats, decide on reaction, and so on. You could not speculate that not all tigers are the same, and that this tiger jumping on you is probably different, he just wants to play rather than eat you. Most forum threads are generalizations. Otherwise all what you can talk about is just yourself. Kind of boring, no? And you get comments like: that is just you, we are different!


Of course I generalize, sometimes… (it is part of being human)… generalizations are fine as long as it is clear… but when is it too vague, I believe it does not bring any substance to a discussion.

Personal experiences are limited to a number/facts/unknown; when we are referring to a gender/group it is no longer effective to refer it as “generalization”. I called it prejudice… (if the questions was about race/profession/etc would be acceptable?)...

if the question was more like “Why do SOME men falsely…”….

I understand your point of view....
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May 3, 2013 1:09 PM CST Why do men falsely presume you are trying to jump-start a relationship just because you are being fr
joyaepace
joyaepacejoyaepaceGalway, Ireland11 Threads 2 Polls 958 Posts
Bogart_1960: Of course I generalize, sometimes… (it is part of being human)… generalizations are fine as long as it is clear… but when is it too vague, I believe it does not bring any substance to a discussion.

Personal experiences are limited to a number/facts/unknown; when we are referring to a gender/group it is no longer effective to refer it as “generalization”. I called it prejudice… (if the questions was about race/profession/etc would be acceptable?)...

if the question was more like “Why do SOME men falsely…”….

I understand your point of view....


Not many people are very skilled (generalization, ha ha!) to construct effective conversation. "Why do some men falsely..." sounds rather like a title of a sociology essay and not a forum post expressing an experience and emotion. And the instinct to think in patterns is strong even if you are skilled ...roll eyes
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May 3, 2013 1:21 PM CST Why do men falsely presume you are trying to jump-start a relationship just because you are being fr
Bogart_1960
Bogart_1960Bogart_1960Ask me !, Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur France36 Threads 1 Polls 10,012 Posts
joyaepace: Not many people are very skilled (generalization, ha ha!) to construct effective conversation. "Why do some men falsely..." sounds rather like a title of a sociology essay and not a forum post expressing an experience and emotion. And the instinct to think in patterns is strong even if you are skilled ...


thumbs up a sociology essay should be interesting...here..
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May 3, 2013 1:48 PM CST Why do men falsely presume you are trying to jump-start a relationship just because you are being fr
Namaste66
Namaste66Namaste66Cambridge, Cambridgeshire, England UK1 Posts
.... well, Hi! I am putting a word here, because I don't run into men very often that appear to "think" before saying something that makes sense.... with women I mean..;-)
Ok, it may sound confusing, but it was a sort of compliment, to your comment (in the thread).
May I ask what you do in your life...?
M.
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May 3, 2013 2:55 PM CST Why do men falsely presume you are trying to jump-start a relationship just because you are being fr
excitingsecret
excitingsecretexcitingsecretStockholm, Sweden1 Posts
Because 99% if the women chase men for a relationship when they like them:) I have a good middle aged female friend, she is a very intelligent academic woman. Once she looks at me and says: "You know Vate, 99% of my girlfriends wants to get married"...
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May 4, 2013 2:14 PM CST Why do men falsely presume you are trying to jump-start a relationship just because you are being fr
joyaepace
joyaepacejoyaepaceGalway, Ireland11 Threads 2 Polls 958 Posts
excitingsecret: Because 99% if the women chase men for a relationship when they like them:) I have a good middle aged female friend, she is a very intelligent academic woman. Once she looks at me and says: "You know Vate, 99% of my girlfriends wants to get married"...


That is if they like them...
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