Why is it that? (27)
I find that I have to go through the negative, to get to the positive. Get the negative out of my system, then I can say something positive. Sometimes it takes me a while to get rid of the negatives.
I do know where you are comming from. There is a time to grieve, to think on the negative, but there also comes a time to put that aside and get on with your life.
I am just now getting to the zero, on the number line, and heading into the positive area. -5 -4 -3 -2 -1 0 1 2 3 4 5......n.
Sorry for the math problem, but it is the only analogy I can come up with.
Once again, and as always, just my .02 worth.
I do know where you are comming from. There is a time to grieve, to think on the negative, but there also comes a time to put that aside and get on with your life.
I am just now getting to the zero, on the number line, and heading into the positive area. -5 -4 -3 -2 -1 0 1 2 3 4 5......n.
Sorry for the math problem, but it is the only analogy I can come up with.
Once again, and as always, just my .02 worth.
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All I can say is at least you did the math.
Of course, there is a grieving process. If you want to swim in gravity towards a bottom, then you will drawn to that.
If you like to breathe and figure it is time to come up to the top with our heads above water, then we can have the strength to do that too.
Of course, there is a grieving process. If you want to swim in gravity towards a bottom, then you will drawn to that.
If you like to breathe and figure it is time to come up to the top with our heads above water, then we can have the strength to do that too.
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If I may be permitted to say somthing good about the Lady, I was involved with in my last relationship, She is one helluva mother. She takes real good care of her children. She puts those children first, above everything and everybody else and I am very happy that she does that.
Once again, as-per-usal, just my .02 worth
Once again, as-per-usal, just my .02 worth
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He taught me alot about gardening ... hmm thats all thats positive lol. 
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Children, from the first sense, were attached, not only physically but spiritually to their mothers.
A good mother is the base for a good life. I am living proof.
Your two cents is worth more than the weight of gold.
A good mother is the base for a good life. I am living proof.
Your two cents is worth more than the weight of gold.
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Of course it is positive, it taught you to "grow".....
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Yes indeed and may I add wiser! 
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My ex is one of my best friends, & has been since we were 13 years old 
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Well said James!
I don't really have any bitterness towards any of my ex's. I may not be fond of things they did but I am not saint either and have done my share but it dosn't mean they are not human. I take those experiences as life lessons and also just means that they were just not meant to be.
I was blessed with two beautiful children because of the ex's and I am greatful for them for helping bring them into the world.
I don't really have any bitterness towards any of my ex's. I may not be fond of things they did but I am not saint either and have done my share but it dosn't mean they are not human. I take those experiences as life lessons and also just means that they were just not meant to be.
I was blessed with two beautiful children because of the ex's and I am greatful for them for helping bring them into the world.
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No one should discount friends...like I said, even if only counting your two cents...it's gold.
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Indeed 
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I may not agree with the ways of my ex-partners, but I had someone tell me last night (although I knew all along!) that something beautiful came of the union of myself and the mother of my child and that reassured me when I needed it.
I have been blessed with a beautiful child upon this earth. I remember the exaltation, exhiliration and exhuberance of watching my child being born. I was overcome with emotion.
That is worth the world in my sense of soul.
I have been blessed with a beautiful child upon this earth. I remember the exaltation, exhiliration and exhuberance of watching my child being born. I was overcome with emotion.
That is worth the world in my sense of soul.
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Dearest D.S.
I cannot dismiss the wrongdoings of this world either.
I do believe however, that despite your ex-partners inabilities, he too will come to recognize that which is/was wrong and repentance will weigh with him.
If you have done your best and expect the same from others, then you are a beautiful mother and no one can take that away from you....
I cannot dismiss the wrongdoings of this world either.
I do believe however, that despite your ex-partners inabilities, he too will come to recognize that which is/was wrong and repentance will weigh with him.
If you have done your best and expect the same from others, then you are a beautiful mother and no one can take that away from you....
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I understand what you are saying, but sometimes it comes and goes. Myself, being married for 21 years and divorced for 1, I really try hard to learn to forgive. I don't want to hold that bitterness inside of my heart. If I should see my ex now, and he needed anything, I could never be as cruel as to let him go without. (to bad I couldn't say the same for him).
The thing is, that when he starts to play his mind games on his children, my mother claws do come out. My sanity starts to get affected and any forgiveness that I was practicing goes out the window. His mind games are not to be taken lightly when they affect my childrens mental health. The time, does come, when I can regroup, and stop looking at the negative and focusing on the positive again.
Today, I am upset with him for many of reasons, but I will be positive:
1. He taught me how to be a survivor
2. He gave me 2 wonderful children
3. He was a good father at times
4. He was a good husband at times
5. He was/is a hard worker
I did it
The thing is, that when he starts to play his mind games on his children, my mother claws do come out. My sanity starts to get affected and any forgiveness that I was practicing goes out the window. His mind games are not to be taken lightly when they affect my childrens mental health. The time, does come, when I can regroup, and stop looking at the negative and focusing on the positive again.
Today, I am upset with him for many of reasons, but I will be positive:
1. He taught me how to be a survivor
2. He gave me 2 wonderful children
3. He was a good father at times
4. He was a good husband at times
5. He was/is a hard worker
I did it
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If you did it...then that is what counts most.
If your ex does not realize it, one day he will, knowing that you too, are the best you can be and will know that the upbringing of your children is what is at the forefront.
All said and done, bitterness aside, we all want a better world and even if we have to take the brunt of it for children's sake, you haver done your part S.Y and I commend you.
Mind games are/can be temporary insanity until we come to realize what our own base/belief systems are...
Until the time that rationalization comes about, take care of you and those who you love first.
If your ex does not realize it, one day he will, knowing that you too, are the best you can be and will know that the upbringing of your children is what is at the forefront.
All said and done, bitterness aside, we all want a better world and even if we have to take the brunt of it for children's sake, you haver done your part S.Y and I commend you.
Mind games are/can be temporary insanity until we come to realize what our own base/belief systems are...
Until the time that rationalization comes about, take care of you and those who you love first.
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I agree...and, I also digress...
Unless his actions hurt my kids? Then, I have nothing at all to say.
He does, to this day, continue to hurt them until they are strong enough to let go....
I am of all kinds of thought about it.
I loved him once, and many times. It was a harmful relationship emotionally, and physically...but, I still loved, and still do.
I love the child in him that was so hurt he will forever be ruined.
I hate that he passed his history to his own children. I cannot take away the hurt to them. I can feel for them, with them, and inside them...
Sometimes reality is just reality in your face.
Then, out of site...
Unless his actions hurt my kids? Then, I have nothing at all to say.
He does, to this day, continue to hurt them until they are strong enough to let go....
I am of all kinds of thought about it.
I loved him once, and many times. It was a harmful relationship emotionally, and physically...but, I still loved, and still do.
I love the child in him that was so hurt he will forever be ruined.
I hate that he passed his history to his own children. I cannot take away the hurt to them. I can feel for them, with them, and inside them...
Sometimes reality is just reality in your face.
Then, out of site...
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I have nothing but great things to say about all my ex girlfriends, and everyone one of them would be glad to give me a great reference as well.
I never married, but had I married I firmly believe that I would STILL BE happily married!
People say I'm too picky. Ironically many of them are divorced. Perhaps they weren't picky enough?
I never married, but had I married I firmly believe that I would STILL BE happily married!
People say I'm too picky. Ironically many of them are divorced. Perhaps they weren't picky enough?
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who's too picky?
or, not?
or, not?
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I would like to say that you are a rare person! You and I share the same view on the Ex- thing. My Ex-husband and I were married for 16 years. We have 2 beautiful kids that are now grown and on their own. We had our good times as well as the bad, and we just grew apart.
I believe that when people grow, they change and it doesn't have to be for the good or the bad, sometimes, its just that they change.
My Ex and I are still on speaking terms, and yes, we still do get very angry with one another at times.....but ya know what? When I feel like I have no one else to go to with a problem, he is still there for me.
I believe that when people grow, they change and it doesn't have to be for the good or the bad, sometimes, its just that they change.
My Ex and I are still on speaking terms, and yes, we still do get very angry with one another at times.....but ya know what? When I feel like I have no one else to go to with a problem, he is still there for me.
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Created: Nov 2006
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Last Commented: Jan 2007
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I have read so many threads over time that slaps, demeams, degrades, belittles and condemns those who are no longer in our lives as a partner.
Yes, granted that some of you may have lived an abusive relationship or the likes, but life gives us all lessons to make us who we are.
Although I was bitter at the beginning of the end of my relationship with my last partner, I hold no grudges, bear no judgement and believe her to be a good, wonderful and beautiful human being as I think all of us wish to be.....we just made mistakes.
That being said, I hold a high regard for my last girlfriend, despite the shortcomings encountered.
I create this thread to remembering her as a human, faults and all and the positive light she brought to my life.
May you all find something positive in those you meet, greet and encounter, be it romantic or not.
So please, say something positive. That is how I wish to live my life...not stuck on something negative which drags me down.
Mostly, I wish you all the power to lay down that which was heavy and to shed a positive and generous light for what is still to come...