Familiarity...or Absence? (16)
I feel good, still in touch with them. Heavenly secret gardens can not be distroyed by life, or that was not love.. true love is forever, only the ways change .. 
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Dagosto: It's said that "familiarity breeds contempt."
It's also said that "absence makes the heart grow fonder."
It's also said that "absence makes the heart grow fonder."
Truer for women.
Hot women will play hard to get, but this incidental. Men fancy her because she's hot and the battle to open her legs/heart is the thrill and builds upon an excitement that is already there.
Women, on the other hand, can swoon for a man who is objectively no different to the next man simply because the man in question is obstinant and leaves her wanting more.
Women love attention, but not any attention, and to leave her somewhat attention-starved primes both her tingle and her heart as she perceives this attention to be of higher value because there is less of it.
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Obstinance_Works: Truer for women.
Hot women will play hard to get, but this incidental. Men fancy her because she's hot and the battle to open her legs/heart is the thrill and builds upon an excitement that is already there.
Women, on the other hand, can swoon for a man who is objectively no different to the next man simply because the man in question is obstinant and leaves her wanting more.
Women love attention, but not any attention, and to leave her somewhat attention-starved primes both her tingle and her heart as she perceives this attention to be of higher value because there is less of it.
Hot women will play hard to get, but this incidental. Men fancy her because she's hot and the battle to open her legs/heart is the thrill and builds upon an excitement that is already there.
Women, on the other hand, can swoon for a man who is objectively no different to the next man simply because the man in question is obstinant and leaves her wanting more.
Women love attention, but not any attention, and to leave her somewhat attention-starved primes both her tingle and her heart as she perceives this attention to be of higher value because there is less of it.
Another, and perhaps more appropriate example(seen as CS is middle-aged)of this being truer for women is divorce statistics.
Women are far more likely than men to just get bored one day and throw in the towel for no apparent reason other than being weary of her husband's affection & attention.
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Dagosto: It's said that "familiarity breeds contempt."
It's also said that "absence makes the heart grow fonder."
This would imply, your sweetie will think better of you, the less he/she sees of you, yes?
Do we delude ourselves, remembering fondly? Or are we too harsh, criticizing those we've left behind?
Your thoughts? How do you feel about your past lovers?
It's also said that "absence makes the heart grow fonder."
This would imply, your sweetie will think better of you, the less he/she sees of you, yes?
Do we delude ourselves, remembering fondly? Or are we too harsh, criticizing those we've left behind?
Your thoughts? How do you feel about your past lovers?
absence makes the heart
there's absence...and then there's absence...
there's always a reason someone is an 'ex'...best to remember why me thinks.
without playing the blame game, remember what you enjoyed, but also remember why it didn't work out.
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jono7: absence makes the heart grow fonder go wander.
there's absence...and then there's absence...
there's always a reason someone is an 'ex'...best to remember why me thinks.
without playing the blame game, remember what you enjoyed, but also remember why it didn't work out.
there's absence...and then there's absence...
there's always a reason someone is an 'ex'...best to remember why me thinks.
without playing the blame game, remember what you enjoyed, but also remember why it didn't work out.
It's very true Ms.Jono, I am completely agree with you.
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Once what you lived won't come back, sweet or sad memories but are gone.
What is to cherish is what comes along right now, don't live in your past.
Life slides away to fast, so live it!
What is to cherish is what comes along right now, don't live in your past.
Life slides away to fast, so live it!
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southmiami4321: Once what you lived won't come back, sweet or sad memories but are gone.
What is to cherish is what comes along right now, don't live in your past.
Life slides away to fast, so live it!
What is to cherish is what comes along right now, don't live in your past.
Life slides away to fast, so live it!
yes.
everyday is a new day, and i greet it with enthusiasm. yesterday is the mind (ego) dwelling on the past. the only moment that matters is now.
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Time can be The Great Healer.
Pain, blame, and confusion fades with time and may have it's way of erasing the bad times, allowing more of the positive, happy memories.
Pain, blame, and confusion fades with time and may have it's way of erasing the bad times, allowing more of the positive, happy memories.
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Dagosto: It's said that "familiarity breeds contempt."
It's also said that "absence makes the heart grow fonder."
This would imply, your sweetie will think better of you, the less he/she sees of you, yes?
But there's more, I think. As Barbra Streisand sang in the theme song to 1973's The Way We Were:
What's too painful to remember,
We simply choose to forget
So it's the laughter, we will remember
Whenever we remember, the way we were
Do we delude ourselves, remembering fondly? Or are we too harsh, criticizing those we've left behind?
Your thoughts? How do you feel about your past lovers?
It's also said that "absence makes the heart grow fonder."
This would imply, your sweetie will think better of you, the less he/she sees of you, yes?
But there's more, I think. As Barbra Streisand sang in the theme song to 1973's The Way We Were:
What's too painful to remember,
We simply choose to forget
So it's the laughter, we will remember
Whenever we remember, the way we were
Do we delude ourselves, remembering fondly? Or are we too harsh, criticizing those we've left behind?
Your thoughts? How do you feel about your past lovers?
Falling in love
Lovely memories
More than what to remember is the overall feeling of the past.
I do choose to keep the feeling of those past good days:
My very first love and then the loved one whom I did marry.
Later, a platonic love kind of.
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Dagosto: It's said that "familiarity breeds contempt."
It's also said that "absence makes the heart grow fonder."
This would imply, your sweetie will think better of you, the less he/she sees of you, yes?
But there's more, I think. As Barbra Streisand sang in the theme song to 1973's The Way We Were:
What's too painful to remember,
We simply choose to forget
So it's the laughter, we will remember
Whenever we remember, the way we were
Do we delude ourselves, remembering fondly? Or are we too harsh, criticizing those we've left behind?
Your thoughts? How do you feel about your past lovers?
It's also said that "absence makes the heart grow fonder."
This would imply, your sweetie will think better of you, the less he/she sees of you, yes?
But there's more, I think. As Barbra Streisand sang in the theme song to 1973's The Way We Were:
What's too painful to remember,
We simply choose to forget
So it's the laughter, we will remember
Whenever we remember, the way we were
Do we delude ourselves, remembering fondly? Or are we too harsh, criticizing those we've left behind?
Your thoughts? How do you feel about your past lovers?
Our memories can be quite deceiving as well, as can be seen when two people describe the same incident. Feelings are probably a more reliable explanation of past histories.
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jono7: absence makes the heart grow fonder go wander.
there's absence...and then there's absence...
there's always a reason someone is an 'ex'...best to remember why me thinks.
without playing the blame game, remember what you enjoyed, but also remember why it didn't work out.
there's absence...and then there's absence...
there's always a reason someone is an 'ex'...best to remember why me thinks.
without playing the blame game, remember what you enjoyed, but also remember why it didn't work out.
Well I agree, Jono. But once you've put the "relationship" in its place, don't you tend to think more fondly of the former partner?
After all, there was some reason you loved them once.
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Dagosto: It's said that "familiarity breeds contempt."
It's also said that "absence makes the heart grow fonder."
This would imply, your sweetie will think better of you, the less he/she sees of you, yes?
But there's more, I think. As Barbra Streisand sang in the theme song to 1973's The Way We Were:
What's too painful to remember,
We simply choose to forget
So it's the laughter, we will remember
Whenever we remember, the way we were
Do we delude ourselves, remembering fondly? Or are we too harsh, criticizing those we've left behind?
Your thoughts? How do you feel about your past lovers?
It's also said that "absence makes the heart grow fonder."
This would imply, your sweetie will think better of you, the less he/she sees of you, yes?
But there's more, I think. As Barbra Streisand sang in the theme song to 1973's The Way We Were:
What's too painful to remember,
We simply choose to forget
So it's the laughter, we will remember
Whenever we remember, the way we were
Do we delude ourselves, remembering fondly? Or are we too harsh, criticizing those we've left behind?
Your thoughts? How do you feel about your past lovers?
Never had much use for these anecdotal aphorisms, since familiarity can breed love, comfort and ease just as easily... and absence can be useful in getting the hell away from a nagging self indulgent person rather than create fondness.
People use these phrases to justify their own foibles, rarely because they have any substantive proof in them being true.
Memory is only useful for self change. It does nothing to the external person so any attachment to fondness or harshness is inappropriately directed and as such continues self deluded exercises in the illusion of righteousness.
Past lovers? Like future lovers of course. The distinction of time is academic at best.
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To me, it's all about perspective and relative to what was or is...
was it love, is it love, are there or were there fond memories?
Perception is individual depending on circumstances and experience. Every relationship is unique.
Absence can make the heart grow fonder or it can tear your
heart apart. My personal experience in relationships has allowed me to reflect on both the good and the bad and thankfully enough years have passed where I'm now in a place to see it objectively. If I were to answer this question 22 years ago, I would have said something totally different because grief does that to a person.
was it love, is it love, are there or were there fond memories?
Perception is individual depending on circumstances and experience. Every relationship is unique.
Absence can make the heart grow fonder or it can tear your
heart apart. My personal experience in relationships has allowed me to reflect on both the good and the bad and thankfully enough years have passed where I'm now in a place to see it objectively. If I were to answer this question 22 years ago, I would have said something totally different because grief does that to a person.
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Hiya Dag...You Handsome Sweetie! 
When I look back on past lovers I have fond memories.
I believe people come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Instead of wishing it was different, Ive come to appreciate what it was.
When I look back on past lovers I have fond memories. I believe people come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Instead of wishing it was different, Ive come to appreciate what it was.
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Dagosto: Well I agree, Jono. But once you've put the "relationship" in its place, don't you tend to think more fondly of the former partner?
After all, there was some reason you loved them once.
After all, there was some reason you loved them once.
hiya Dag
hmmm....i find it difficult to put to words sometimes what it is i am thinking and trying to express..
but i'll try..
for me...if/when i love someone, that love doesn't go away just because the relationship has changed..or because the person is gone, for i don't lose sight of the reasons i love them. i try to separate it from behaviors.
two of my closest friends died in the past couple years...they are gone..does that change how i feel? do i no longer love them?
not at all. i love them now, as i did when they were here.
i had to walk away from a close relative because it was abusive. do i still love my brother..of course i do..i just can't be around him. does it hurt? sometimes, deeply. do i still love him? of course i do.
but i try to look at the relationship and if it's hurting one or both, or preventing expansion..or whatever you wanna name it..and one can't find or be part of the solution, then sometimes absence, temporary or permanent is for the higher good. (and whatever temporary or permanent means..cuz what is this concept of time anyways?
) i just think of it as 'loving them from a distance'... i don't lose sight of the reasons i opened to love, i don't lose sight of the love, it's still there, i'm still conscious of it, even if it's bundled with some other feelings. so i try to focus on the love, and be grateful for the mirrors..and try to pay attention and hopefully expand. more and more i think...there's no 'right', no 'wrong'...there just is. and my time is better spent trying to 'see/feel' the love in each situation. but hey..i'm not all that experienced, and new to much of this...so i'm just trying to do my best like everyone else.
sorry this is fuzzy, but i've been feeling kind of fuzzy...
, and i wanted to respond to your question.------ This thread is Archived ------
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It's also said that "absence makes the heart grow fonder."
This would imply, your sweetie will think better of you, the less he/she sees of you, yes?
But there's more, I think. As Barbra Streisand sang in the theme song to 1973's The Way We Were:
What's too painful to remember,
We simply choose to forget
So it's the laughter, we will remember
Whenever we remember, the way we were
Do we delude ourselves, remembering fondly? Or are we too harsh, criticizing those we've left behind?
Your thoughts? How do you feel about your past lovers?