Been thinking (30)

Jun 29, 2013 6:20 PM CST Been thinking
mickyj63
mickyj63mickyj63adelaide, South Australia Australia101 Threads 2,362 Posts
Was talking to an older lady at work . And she is now in a relationship with a guy . She was saying to me she had been single for 20 years and now in a relationship .That she can only handle being with her bloke for 3 or 4 days a week !! He does work away on the oil fields I think.
Got me thinking that's fantastic what I'd like in a relationship. See someone for a few days a week have someone when we both need someone .But time alone to do the stuff that one likes to do alone !! Know there will be someone who'd want to see me sometime !!

Not sure about anyone else . I did the married thing really don't want to do that again !!
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Would help any relationship with my insomnia rolling on the floor laughing
Jun 29, 2013 6:27 PM CST Been thinking
reolvine420
reolvine420reolvine420taupo, Waikato New Zealand139 Threads 13 Polls 1,297 Posts
mickyj63: Was talking to an older lady at work . And she is now in a relationship with a guy . She was saying to me she had been single for 20 years and now in a relationship .That she can only handle being with her bloke for 3 or 4 days a week !! He does work away on the oil fields I think.
Got me thinking that's fantastic what I'd like in a relationship. See someone for a few days a week have someone when we both need someone .But time alone to do the stuff that one likes to do alone !! Know there will be someone who'd want to see me sometime !!

Not sure about anyone else . I did the married thing really don't want to do that again !!
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ps
Would help any relationship with my insomnia
thinking can b dangerouslaugh but yea that sounds good, my neighbour has a relationship like that, she has been married before but in this relationship they both have their own house and dont wanna live together.....i guess tho for me....if i didnt wanna work towards living with someone......where would the relationship b heading?
Jun 29, 2013 6:48 PM CST Been thinking
curly28
curly28curly28Perth, Western Australia Australia53 Threads 5,450 Posts
mickyj63: Was talking to an older lady at work . And she is now in a relationship with a guy . She was saying to me she had been single for 20 years and now in a relationship .That she can only handle being with her bloke for 3 or 4 days a week !! He does work away on the oil fields I think.
Got me thinking that's fantastic what I'd like in a relationship. See someone for a few days a week have someone when we both need someone .But time alone to do the stuff that one likes to do alone !! Know there will be someone who'd want to see me sometime !!

Not sure about anyone else . I did the married thing really don't want to do that again !!
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ps
Would help any relationship with my insomnia




It's not such a bad idea Micky for a while ... I actually did have a relationship with an old boyfriend who I was going out with before I met my ex husband. I hooked up with him 20 years later after my marriage ended , it's called rebound! It does help for a while I was seeing him for a year two three times a week it was ok at the time but in the end it was the same old story I got bored lack of mental stimulation and realized that was the reason we broke up before. I ended it that was 10 years ago and since then have been on my own and would rather that than a meaningless encounter.

A proper real meaningful relationship you have to be the best of friends before anything else and totally enjoy each others company & want to around that person forever sharing and caring to be in that comfort zone love is something that grows within time lust is instant which isn't love JMO! I do believe it only happens once or maybe twice in your life if you are lucky enough to meet your soul mate heart beating

I don't fully understand men Micky as you guys are wired different to us woman so maybe it would work well for you and good luck thumbs up different strokes for different folks wine
Jun 29, 2013 6:53 PM CST Been thinking
mickyj63
mickyj63mickyj63adelaide, South Australia Australia101 Threads 2,362 Posts
curly28: It's not such a bad idea Micky for a while ... I actually did have a relationship with an old boyfriend who I was going out with before I met my ex husband. I hooked up with him 20 years later after my marriage ended , it's called rebound! It does help for a while I was seeing him for a year two three times a week it was ok at the time but in the end it was the same old story I got bored lack of mental stimulation and realized that was the reason we broke up before. I ended it that was 10 years ago and since then have been on my own and would rather that than a meaningless encounter.

A proper real meaningful relationship you have to be the best of friends before anything else and totally enjoy each others company & want to around that person forever sharing and caring to be in that comfort zone love is something that grows within time lust is instant which isn't love JMO! I do believe it only happens once or maybe twice in your life if you are lucky enough to meet your soul mate

I don't fully understand men Micky as you guys are wired different to us woman so maybe it would work well for you and good luck different strokes for different folks


Sorry Curls haven't found anyone was just thinking and typing aloud rolling on the floor laughing

If I find the one who is my destiny who knows what will happen rolling on the floor laughing
Jun 29, 2013 7:02 PM CST Been thinking
curly28
curly28curly28Perth, Western Australia Australia53 Threads 5,450 Posts
mickyj63: Sorry Curls haven't found anyone was just thinking and typing aloud

If I find the one who is my destiny who knows what will happen


I am sorry didn't mean to sound negative and I wish for you to meet your love she will be a lucky girl you have a lot to offer Micky.

I do believe any of us could and can meet someone if we really want to & someone who we really can connect with I wish you the best of luck Micky hug

Think I have become a lazy cannot be bothered type of woman too hard basket uh oh help laugh
Jun 29, 2013 8:12 PM CST Been thinking
asha69
asha69asha69perth, Western Australia Australia76 Threads 1 Polls 1,799 Posts
mickyj63: Was talking to an older lady at work . And she is now in a relationship with a guy . She was saying to me she had been single for 20 years and now in a relationship .That she can only handle being with her bloke for 3 or 4 days a week !! He does work away on the oil fields I think.
Got me thinking that's fantastic what I'd like in a relationship. See someone for a few days a week have someone when we both need someone .But time alone to do the stuff that one likes to do alone !! Know there will be someone who'd want to see me sometime !!

Not sure about anyone else . I did the married thing really don't want to do that again
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ps
Would help any relationship with my insomnia








morning mickywave well i thnk that would be good for maybe a year, but i think as the relationship grows, i would want to live with that person, and wake up to their happy smile with them been so lucky they have megrin i have a friend thats been seeing someone for a couple of years and they live separate, but not sure that would work for me long term, i would love to be married again as ive only done it once laugh
it sounds good in theory, but long term

dunno

anyways whatever your decision would be, i wish you luck.thumbs up
Jun 30, 2013 3:13 AM CST Been thinking
wash2u
wash2uwash2uMelbourne, Victoria Australia79 Threads 1 Polls 3,768 Posts
asha69: morning micky well i thnk that would be good for maybe a year, but i think as the relationship grows, i would want to live with that person, and wake up to their happy smile with them been so lucky they have me i have a friend thats been seeing someone for a couple of years and they live separate, but not sure that would work for me long term, i would love to be married again as ive only done it once
it sounds good in theory, but long term
anyways whatever your decision would be, i wish you luck.


I was going out with a lady where we would be together most nights of the week. We both had dogs but being male terriers, the dogs could not live together. She finally gets rid of her overactive dominating dog (it had to sleep on the bed between us - my dog was never allowed on the bed) and it is looking better.

Then my daughter asked if she & her fiance could move in for a year so they could save for their wedding and a home. "No problem, anything I can do to help." Was at the time trying to do the settlement with ex#2 so a bit towards the bills (bloody lawyers and their fees) was good.

Oops #1. SHE had a fizzy fit because "I did not consult her before letting my daughter move in to my home."frustrated dunno

OOps #2. Her daughter had decided she did not want to live with her long-standing boyfriend anymore and moved back home, bringing their dog because "I don't want that basterd to have him."

OOPs #3. Not a good chance of moving in with her. frustrated

OOPS #4. I did stress that I did not want to go through the "marriage business" again after doing it twice and divorcing both times. Too many mental and financial troubles for me. She had a very short marriage and had hinted a couple of times about wanting to have a proper wedding.

So it petered out after all of this. More so from my end when she blamed it all on me for allowing my daughter to move in with me for the short time.frustrated

Reminds me in a way about Joni Mitchel's line "You don't know what you have until it is gone."

The lesson I have learnt from 2 divorces and a couple of good relationships is that men (or maybe just me) have difficulties in discussing their real feelings, to their detriment.
Jun 30, 2013 3:23 AM CST Been thinking
epirb
epirbepirbDannevirke, Hawke's Bay New Zealand32 Threads 2 Polls 7,379 Posts
wash2u: I was going out with a lady where we would be together most nights of the week. We both had dogs but being male terriers, the dogs could not live together. She finally gets rid of her overactive dominating dog (it had to sleep on the bed between us - my dog was never allowed on the bed) and it is looking better.

Then my daughter asked if she & her fiance could move in for a year so they could save for their wedding and a home. "No problem, anything I can do to help." Was at the time trying to do the settlement with ex#2 so a bit towards the bills (bloody lawyers and their fees) was good.

Oops #1. SHE had a fizzy fit because "I did not consult her before letting my daughter move in to my home."

OOps #2. Her daughter had decided she did not want to live with her long-standing boyfriend anymore and moved back home, bringing their dog because "I don't want that basterd to have him."

OOPs #3. Not a good chance of moving in with her.

OOPS #4. I did stress that I did not want to go through the "marriage business" again after doing it twice and divorcing both times. Too many mental and financial troubles for me. She had a very short marriage and had hinted a couple of times about wanting to have a proper wedding.

So it petered out after all of this. More so from my end when she blamed it all on me for allowing my daughter to move in with me for the short time.

Reminds me in a way about Joni Mitchel's line "You don't know what you have until it is gone."

The lesson I have learnt from 2 divorces and a couple of good relationships is that men (or maybe just me) have difficulties in discussing their real feelings, to their detriment.
Surprised it would worry you having a dog sleeping between you and some fun Wash going by a post you put up a while back , dog keep you warm just as well as a woman !!!!!!!!!!
Jun 30, 2013 3:33 AM CST Been thinking
Halv0
Halv0Halv0Marcoola, Queensland Australia19 Threads 766 Posts
Hey Mickey. Thinking is a bad idea. It gets us into trouble. So I gave it up.

You idea does have a certain amount of merit to it. But it only works if you are happy to play second fiddle to her social life, and materialism, and visa versa.

Great if she will drop everything to come over your your place at your beck and call. But what if she is busy when you would like her to be there? Doh, another night alone..... and visa versa.

For me, a relationship does not work unless both parties are prepared to compromise together.

My learnings from my past experience of marriage is that it takes two to make it work, but it only takes one to make it fail.

Marriage isn't the problem. It is love (the lack of true love) that is the problem in a relationship.

One can be married, and still have time out for your own stuff.

In Australia, the law has now been changed that even such a relationship as you talk about with a few nights each week over each others place, can be interpreted as a de-facto relationship and therefore subject to family law and property settlement laws.

Sorry to say this, but Australia has ensured that most blokes are screwed if you have anything to do with a woman that is "relationship" centric in any way.....

So be careful. Choose wisely, and take out a lotto ticket at the time of your choosing..... you just might get lucky....
Jun 30, 2013 4:11 AM CST Been thinking
LiLee
LiLeeLiLeeIpswich, Queensland Australia53 Threads 1,760 Posts
Been thinking <<<<<<<<<<< Well there's your first mistake laugh
Jun 30, 2013 4:31 AM CST Been thinking
curly28
curly28curly28Perth, Western Australia Australia53 Threads 5,450 Posts
Halv0: Indeed so Curly. No bias was meant. It was a comment to a man about getting involved with a woman. Nothing about the unfairness of the system that I have been on the receiving end of as well.

Yeah, I know that women who try to do the 'right' thing get done over by the system as well. That's my point. The system has been designed to ensure that the innocent party gets the raw prawn.

Family law does not take into account fairness. It is decided on based on the mood of the judge on the day. And this can and does change.

But my point is that if a relationship exists, even if two people are not living permanently together, Australian law will regard it the same as marriage (de-facto is also regarded the same as marriage under family law) and therefore if things go pair-shaped, the same trouble in property settlements, etc can occur.

And I think that this is a horrific state of affairs that our country allows such inequity and legalised theft in relationship splits. Especially when it is usually the innocent party that gets screwed over....


Yeah she put the deposit of 400 grand down on the house and he took a mortgage out on what was owing about half what she contributed but she also signed on the mortgage papers which makes her equal partner by our law doh The sad side of this is she only knew him briefly then married him total of two years she is being scammed big time every time she tries to enter her home , him and his other family run her off , according to her she has a lawyer on it so she will be up for lawyers fees too what a mess doh this can drag on for years sigh
Jun 30, 2013 4:34 AM CST Been thinking
Family Law operates for the benefit of lawyers, remember all the judges are lawyers to they are fleecing the families of Australia on a massive scale.

i'd never again enter in a relationship with someone who's not taking full responsibility for there own happiness full stop. no if's and buts about it, only with someone taking full responsibility for there own happiness.
Jun 30, 2013 4:47 AM CST Been thinking
curly28
curly28curly28Perth, Western Australia Australia53 Threads 5,450 Posts
robplum: Family Law operates for the benefit of lawyers, remember all the judges are lawyers to they are fleecing the families of Australia on a massive scale.

i'd never again enter in a relationship with someone who's not taking full responsibility for there own happiness full stop. no if's and buts about it, only with someone taking full responsibility for there own happiness.


I would never enter a relationship now unless he had equal to what I have also I'd have a pre- nup written up I think people need to these days if they have assets sad but true which makes for a relationship even harder oh! well we have to deal with it that's life dunno
Jun 30, 2013 4:54 AM CST Been thinking
"also I'd have a pre- nup written up"! that's a welcome card for the lawyers to debate what the pre-nuptial agreement actually meant, you'd loose the lot
Jun 30, 2013 4:56 AM CST Been thinking
LiLee
LiLeeLiLeeIpswich, Queensland Australia53 Threads 1,760 Posts
robplum:

i'd never again enter in a relationship with someone who's not taking full responsibility for there own happiness full stop. no if's and buts about it, only with someone taking full responsibility for there own happiness.


Here here Rob
Jun 30, 2013 4:57 AM CST Been thinking
Merriweather
MerriweatherMerriweatherAdelaide, South Australia Australia51 Threads 11,403 Posts
curly28: I would never enter a relationship now unless he had equal to what I have also I'd have a pre- nup written up I think people need to these days if they have assets sad but true which makes for a relationship even harder oh! well we have to deal with it that's life


I used to think that Curly, but now I am not sure that I agree with my thinking.. doh

Def the prenups part tho.... but for me, because I was widowed, I have never had to go thru the separation and money sorting out thingo... I have heard it can be a real head ache, sadly.

sad flower
Jun 30, 2013 5:03 AM CST Been thinking
curly28
curly28curly28Perth, Western Australia Australia53 Threads 5,450 Posts
Merriweather: I used to think that Curly, but now I am not sure that I agree with my thinking..

Def the prenups part tho.... but for me, because I was widowed, I have never had to go thru the separation and money sorting out thingo... I have heard it can be a real head ache, sadly.


The world is so different now to what it use to be it just gets harder and people don't have that trust factor any more that is what I hear when talking to other people commitment is not what it use to be JMO!Especially for the older gen more so
Jun 30, 2013 5:04 AM CST Been thinking
Merriweather: I used to think that Curly, but now I am not sure that I agree with my thinking..

Def the prenups part tho.... but for me, because I was widowed, I have never had to go thru the separation and money sorting out thingo... I have heard it can be a real head ache, sadly.



I can't imagine falling in love with someone then scrutinising their financial position dunno

But then again I don't own property so I guess I have little to worry about on that front.
Jun 30, 2013 5:07 AM CST Been thinking
curly28
curly28curly28Perth, Western Australia Australia53 Threads 5,450 Posts
serene56: I can't imagine falling in love with someone then scrutinising their financial position

But then again I don't own property so I guess I have little to worry about on that front.


Hi! serene hope you are feeling well today hug

bouquet
Jun 30, 2013 5:12 AM CST Been thinking
curly28: Hi! serene hope you are feeling well today



Thank you my sweet hug

I'm good, had a couple of visitors over the past few days, concerned workmates .. I'm a lucky girl thumbs up

Hoping to get the ball rolling tomorrow re info and treatment smile
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