Should I stay out of my Daughters lives? (132)
montemonte: ...
My biological mother didn't fight for me and to this day I am bitter about it.
My biological mother didn't fight for me and to this day I am bitter about it.
You should not be bitter Monte.
Just because your Biological Mother did not fight for you it does not mean she did not love you. Perhaps, she was scared, broken...
Sometimes, parents that love their children more than themselves renounce to them so they can have a better life.
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lifeisadream: Figthing for children's custody or parental rights to see/be them can be very nasty Monte. Specially when women feel that children belong to the mother "more".
I have seen a long and terrible fight with a friend of mine. Up to this moment his children see him like a monster because of their mother telling lies about him or telling the truth but incomplete out of context. He regrets all that fight and has given up them.
Before the fight, she had agreed for him to see his children when she decided and the children and my friend were happy about it until he chose to fight for their custody or shared/custody.
I have seen a long and terrible fight with a friend of mine. Up to this moment his children see him like a monster because of their mother telling lies about him or telling the truth but incomplete out of context. He regrets all that fight and has given up them.
Before the fight, she had agreed for him to see his children when she decided and the children and my friend were happy about it until he chose to fight for their custody or shared/custody.
That is true, it can and will be nasty. However, it is my opinion that those children need to know that he fought for them. Even if he loses, they need to know that their father didn't write them off.
No matter what lies the mother tells, if they are truly lies, they will backfire on her because the children see and know more then what parents give them credit for.
IF she loses, the next step she will probably take is to ask the court for more child care money. She will do everything possible to burn him. It doesn't matter Jim. Get a second job....get a third job.
Fight for your children !!!!!! You have no idea how important it is for them to know you did as much as possible to keep them in your life. I'm the child of a mother who gave me up when I was 10 days old when her brother said he was taking me from her.
You said you want to do what is right for them. That's not just now. Whatever you do or don't do will stay with them for the rest of their life.
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JustJim,
I once read somewhere, "Daughters give back more than you gave them".
Not trying to tell you to hold them, for your own selfishness, but as much as possible, kids need both mum and dad. Do your part to be in touch with them.
I got no kids, but just my 2 cents to you.
Good luck!
I once read somewhere, "Daughters give back more than you gave them".
Not trying to tell you to hold them, for your own selfishness, but as much as possible, kids need both mum and dad. Do your part to be in touch with them.
I got no kids, but just my 2 cents to you.
Good luck!
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In response to: Recently my ex wife and I had quite a severe falling out, and as a result she want's to move over a thousand kilometers away and to take my daughters with her, She has stopped all contact between my girls and I and has told them some really horrible stories about me, which I'm afraid they are starting to believe, my girls are aged 8 and 16. I don't want this to deteriorate into a slanging match between their mother and I, as I'm sure that it would only hurt my children to see us argue like this.I have considered getting a court order to enforce my parental rights but wonder if such action would only add to the hurt already generated by all this? My dilemma is this, Should I give up my girls and let my ex move away and hope that one day my girls will want me in their lives?, or should I fight to keep them near and possibly expose them to two belligerent parents? I love my kids more than life itself, I just want what's best for them even if it's not best for me.
I read most of the postings.... I have one advice...your children are old enough to voice what they want ... meaning both of them have the right to get a lawyer and state what they want out of you and your ex ...simple!!! why is it that parents always but children in the middle of there arguments?
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lifeisadream: You should not be bitter Monte.
Just because your Biological Mother did not fight for you it does not mean she did not love you. Perhaps, she was scared, broken...
Sometimes, parents that love their children more than themselves renounce to them so they can have a better life.
Just because your Biological Mother did not fight for you it does not mean she did not love you. Perhaps, she was scared, broken...
Sometimes, parents that love their children more than themselves renounce to them so they can have a better life.
Don't tell me I shouldn't be bitter. You don't know the family situation.
The children in this thread might be bitter if he doesn't fight for them. How is he going to feel when they are adults, away from their mother and they reject seeing him because he didn't fight for them when they were children???
He needs to look ahead and not just what is happening now.
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limay123: I read most of the postings.... I have one advice...your children are old enough to voice what they want ... meaning both of them have the right to get a lawyer and state what they want out of you and your ex ...simple!!! why is it that parents always but children in the middle of there arguments?
It doesn't matter what they want unless they tell the judge. And even then the judge might favor the mother if she is in a better living arrangement or if she makes more money then the father.
If he loses the fight all he can hope is that when they reach 18 years of age, and can do what they want, he can hope that he will see them again.
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montemonte: Don't tell me I shouldn't be bitter. You don't know the family situation...
Ok!
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Both of you need to do what is best for your daughters. If anything you and your ex have to put your personal issues aside and realize that your daughters need both of you. Granted I don't know you or your ex, but this is not about either of you, but about them. For a father to want to be a part of their lives is a wonderful thing. Let's be real , in our society it is really easy for fathers to walk away. I say this cause we see it all way to often.
So again I say, the two of you need to do what is best for your girls.
So again I say, the two of you need to do what is best for your girls.
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I may be wrong in sensing you had guilt over how you behaved with your ex, and feared future outbursts (?), which prompted you to consider walking away. Heartening to see that you haven't and have made a start on visitation. Have to seperate kids from your adult problems. Although your eldest is free to decide who she wants to live with, perhaps it's better not to split the sisters up from what others have experienced. I don't know that as an adult, one can ever fully reconcile that an absent parent had abandoned them "in their best interests"; that there will always be a part of them hurt by this.
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I dont understand how two people who loved each other at some point in their lives make such bad things toward each other...
Anyway, No matter how bad your ex partner was, it isn't right to tell stories about him/her that would make your children disrespect him/her. Even if you put the world upside down, it's still their parent.
So I say, fight for your right. Your kids might question you someday why you didn't fight for them if you truly loved them.
Anyway, No matter how bad your ex partner was, it isn't right to tell stories about him/her that would make your children disrespect him/her. Even if you put the world upside down, it's still their parent.
So I say, fight for your right. Your kids might question you someday why you didn't fight for them if you truly loved them.
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fight for your daughter maam.dont give up if its for their own good.and may god helps u nd bless u
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What is best for them is to know that you fought to keep them in your life.
My biological mother didn't fight for me and to this day I am bitter about it.
Don't make the mistake of taking the easy road.
Court Orders are powerful. If your ex takes them away from you, but there is a Court Order that you have the right to see them, she will lose and might be charged with child abduction.
Yes your children will see bickering but trust me that the day will come when your children will tell you they were happy that you fought for them. That is when they truly knew that you loved them.
Good luck to you and your family.
Figthing for children's custody or parental rights to see/be them can be very nasty Monte. Specially when women feel that children belong to the mother "more".
I have seen a long and terrible fight with a friend of mine. Up to this moment his children see him like a monster because of their mother telling lies about him or telling the truth but incomplete out of context. He regrets all that fight and has given up them.
Before the fight, she had agreed for him to see his children when she decided and the children and my friend were happy about it until he chose to fight for their custody or shared/custody.