Are you ignoring relationship warnings?? (27)
tomcatwarne: D you ignore the warning signs, and can you think of any others.
I think that clip carried a lot of truth .. sometimes we can tend to try to overlook potential problems, especially in the early stages of a relationship.
Personally I'm hoping, at this stage in my life, that I've done the hard yards.
I've dealt with some difficult men and can't honestly say I didn't see it coming.
Have learned a lesson or two and hope to be more aware in future and just not go there.
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Yes, sometimes instead of taking action we go into a state of denial, the need to have the relationship work attributes the partner with feelings and qualities they may not have. Only experience teaches you not to drop your guard and to take action immediately.
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tomcatwarne: Yes, sometimes instead of taking action we go into a state of denial, the need to have the relationship work attributes the partner with feelings and qualities they may not have. Only experience teaches you not to drop your guard and to take action immediately.
So what red flags do men look out for in women
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serene56: So what red flags do men look out for in women
I think, when you can do no right and get crtisised over everything. But I'm no expert my women were all quite crazy, I seem to attract the eccentrics in life. If I'm on a bus and a crazy gets on they head for the seat next to me and start talking!!!!!!!!!
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tomcatwarne: D you ignore the warning signs, and can you think of any others.
Hi tomcat and serena. First I'd like to comment that I think men should and do look for some of the similar warning signs. It's been the same way for me as with serena. I too have had a few winners in my time but those idiots helped mold me for who I am today. Confident, independent and strong and I wont be traveling down that road again. The knowledge I've learned I have passed on to my daughter and so far she has learned a thing or two from me. I would hate to see her suffer and waste precious time and energy on some loser.
There are so many reasons people, not just women, ignore the warning signs. Laziness is one. People become content/comfortable with their lives and don't want to have to start over. Some people are so insecure with themselves that they believe they cant find another partner or worse,that they cant find anyone better or that their next partner could be worse.
Then there's financial stability, the fact that they feel 'safe' and don't have to worry about contracting an STD or HIV. Some may just not want to be alone in the eyes of society and some are mentally/physically abused and fear for their lives.
I think denial is a big factor and believing that things will change after they marry but instead it is just the opposite.
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misbhavn: Hi tomcat and serena. First I'd like to comment that I think men should and do look for some of the similar warning signs. It's been the same way for me as with serena. I too have had a few winners in my time but those idiots helped mold me for who I am today. Confident, independent and strong and I wont be traveling down that road again. The knowledge I've learned I have passed on to my daughter and so far she has learned a thing or two from me. I would hate to see her suffer and waste precious time and energy on some loser.
There are so many reasons people, not just women, ignore the warning signs. Laziness is one. People become content/comfortable with their lives and don't want to have to start over. Some people are so insecure with themselves that they believe they cant find another partner or worse,that they cant find anyone better or that their next partner could be worse.
Then there's financial stability, the fact that they feel 'safe' and don't have to worry about contracting an STD or HIV. Some may just not want to be alone in the eyes of society and some are mentally/physically abused and fear for their lives.
I think denial is a big factor and believing that things will change after they marry but instead it is just the opposite.
There are so many reasons people, not just women, ignore the warning signs. Laziness is one. People become content/comfortable with their lives and don't want to have to start over. Some people are so insecure with themselves that they believe they cant find another partner or worse,that they cant find anyone better or that their next partner could be worse.
Then there's financial stability, the fact that they feel 'safe' and don't have to worry about contracting an STD or HIV. Some may just not want to be alone in the eyes of society and some are mentally/physically abused and fear for their lives.
I think denial is a big factor and believing that things will change after they marry but instead it is just the opposite.
I think you have gained great insight into the problem. Some people are in denial so much they will not even discuss the subject, even your best friends tend not to say anything for fear of being thought intrusive, be on your guard it may stop you from being hurt too much, or you bay even save the relationship.
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There are a couple of venues where this may apply:
Online interactions (not yet met)
In person interactions
What I have learned is it is very hard to accurately interpret the meaning of things said when the person is not physically there to add in facial expressions, tone of voice, hand movements. And that when in person it is sometimes all too easy to see the flags missed in the online experience.
For example, it's one thing to see them say they have someone help clean the house (because they admit they are lazy) on occasion and then another to find that the dust bunnies and toilet situation were far out of hand and when seeking to know the last time that house helper occasion was - it was either a. last year or b. three months ago that something very clearly was wrong in my ability to see warning flags online was non-existent.
It is easy for people to lie online.
There needs to be a "casual way" to figure whether lies have been made.
It is not easy to hide lies in person when the reality is so clear.
There needs to be a way to avoid having to make sacrifices to find these things out in order to trek long distances to meet that person.
Some people say more patience is required, or that if you are really interested in love you will let some things pass. But, lies do not qualify for that pass. People ought just be straight up front and say "I'm just very lazy about housekeeping and you are welcome to clean if it bothers you" up front rather than saying what they think the other person wants to hear.
The risk of being found out is probably higher than the liars realize.
Online interactions (not yet met)
In person interactions
What I have learned is it is very hard to accurately interpret the meaning of things said when the person is not physically there to add in facial expressions, tone of voice, hand movements. And that when in person it is sometimes all too easy to see the flags missed in the online experience.
For example, it's one thing to see them say they have someone help clean the house (because they admit they are lazy) on occasion and then another to find that the dust bunnies and toilet situation were far out of hand and when seeking to know the last time that house helper occasion was - it was either a. last year or b. three months ago that something very clearly was wrong in my ability to see warning flags online was non-existent.
It is easy for people to lie online.
There needs to be a "casual way" to figure whether lies have been made.
It is not easy to hide lies in person when the reality is so clear.
There needs to be a way to avoid having to make sacrifices to find these things out in order to trek long distances to meet that person.
Some people say more patience is required, or that if you are really interested in love you will let some things pass. But, lies do not qualify for that pass. People ought just be straight up front and say "I'm just very lazy about housekeeping and you are welcome to clean if it bothers you" up front rather than saying what they think the other person wants to hear.
The risk of being found out is probably higher than the liars realize.
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Be clear with what you want and what you expect from each other and just don't keep your eyes firmly closed just because you want something to work.
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Being clear about what you want only works if the other party is honest about their situation and beliefs.
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PJ1961: Being clear about what you want only works if the other party is honest about their situation and beliefs.
Yes, you're right, that's why I said to keep your eyes open. If you spend time with someone you get to know the other person's character sooner or later.
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indeed, it took just a day to start seeing the truth! and a few more days for the hidden personality traits to creep up... I don't need to see much to know when a person is just wrong.
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PJ1961: indeed, it took just a day to start seeing the truth! and a few more days for the hidden personality traits to creep up... I don't need to see much to know when a person is just wrong.
Sorry to hear the PJ, but I think the earlier you know the better.
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KNenagh: Sorry to hear the PJ, but I think the earlier you know the better.
Thanks and I agree, though, I am not sorry. I'm like a cat, right back on my feet.
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PJ1961: Thanks and I agree, though, I am not sorry. I'm like a cat, right back on my feet.
Sometimes you have to give things a chance.
Sometimes you have to start running. 
Hope you had a great trip and that what matters at the end.
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It was na interesting trip and the country gorgeous. But, the climate reminded me I'm not much of a cold weather kid anymore.
Some things can be given a chance, but once again the other party has to be honest and just admit they are a lazy dom, passive aggressive and gets off on anger. Ha!
There were no delusions about the idea of trying to make it work with that one.
Some things can be given a chance, but once again the other party has to be honest and just admit they are a lazy dom, passive aggressive and gets off on anger. Ha!
There were no delusions about the idea of trying to make it work with that one.
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PJ1961: It was na interesting trip and the country gorgeous. But, the climate reminded me I'm not much of a cold weather kid anymore.
Some things can be given a chance, but once again the other party has to be honest and just admit they are a lazy dom, passive aggressive and gets off on anger. Ha!
There were no delusions about the idea of trying to make it work with that one.
Some things can be given a chance, but once again the other party has to be honest and just admit they are a lazy dom, passive aggressive and gets off on anger. Ha!
There were no delusions about the idea of trying to make it work with that one.
I like the Netherlands, I grew up only a few kilometres from the Dutch and Belgium border, and I like to head over to visit Maastricht regularly. Even though Ireland is fairly wet, I like that temperatures are not as extreme - it's not as cold (or hot) here as in middle Europe.
Meeting some people once is enough in a lot of cases.
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KNenagh: I like the Netherlands, I grew up only a few kilometres from the Dutch and Belgium border, and I like to head over to visit Maastricht regularly. Even though Ireland is fairly wet, I like that temperatures are not as extreme - it's not as cold (or hot) here as in middle Europe.
Meeting some people once is enough in a lot of cases.
Indeed! Meeting some people once is enough in a lot of cases.
The Netherlands came after the cold rock on the water where he is. Netherlands folks I met all had great smiles and attitudes.
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KNenagh: I like the Netherlands, I grew up only a few kilometres from the Dutch and Belgium border, and I like to head over to visit Maastricht regularly. Even though Ireland is fairly wet, I like that temperatures are not as extreme - it's not as cold (or hot) here as in middle Europe.
Meeting some people once is enough in a lot of cases.
hi knegh ,how r u ? Meeting some people once is enough in a lot of cases.
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PJ1961: Indeed!
The Netherlands came after the cold rock on the water where he is. Netherlands folks I met all had great smiles and attitudes.
what about greece ? The Netherlands came after the cold rock on the water where he is. Netherlands folks I met all had great smiles and attitudes.
hi pj
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D you ignore the warning signs, and can you think of any others.