Dating (30)

Feb 23, 2014 5:07 PM CST Dating
lilo1234
lilo1234lilo1234Dublin, Ireland1 Threads 3 Posts
I've recently lost quite a bit of weight since Xmas, gained a bit of confidence and went on my first date in about a year. I met this guy on another site.
We got on quite well before we had met, I wasn't physically attracted to him but his personality was spot on, so I decided to give it a go.

The date was a disaster before it even started. He told me he had to meet his brother afterwards and would need to leave early, and he was bringing his car so couldn't have a few drinks. Went on the date, I thought things went okay until I woke to a message this morning to say how he wasn't interested in me. That's fine, I'm glad he told me.

But now I feel my confidence has once again been knocked. I've been on this and other. dating sites since I first moved to Dublin 6 years ago. I'm going on 27 this year and I've never been in a relationship. Online clearly isn't working for me and I really feel like giving up. Maybe there isn't someone out there for me?
Feb 23, 2014 5:12 PM CST Dating
henonpause
henonpausehenonpauseCork, Ireland50 Threads 2 Polls 1,504 Posts
Listen up, young lady. You don't need to sell yourself to anyone. You are value to no one unless you have value to yourself. This guy, you said you didn't have any physical attraction to him - well, maybe he had the same feeling about you, and that's not a bad thing - at least you didn't have to fight him off.

Well done on the weight - I know it takes a little time for the brain to catch up with the "new you". Don't take the lack of confidence you had before, into your future with you. Leave it behind where it belongs.

You are a young, pretty woman with your whole life ahead of you. We attract that which we think - so start seeing yourself as you wish yourself to be : successful, confident, and in control of your own life. The rest will follow, because confidence is very attractive no matter what you look like.

Stay strong, have faith.

sad flower
Feb 23, 2014 5:12 PM CST Dating
mollybaby
mollybabymollybabyCork City, Cork Ireland56 Threads 8 Polls 23,608 Posts
Just go out on more casual coffee-dates. They are relaxed and easier on both.

Just relax and enjoy the flirting and dating instead of getting stressed about it. handshake
Feb 23, 2014 5:13 PM CST Dating
unlaoised
unlaoisedunlaoisedTwilight zone, Wicklow Ireland34 Threads 12,152 Posts
In response to: I've recently lost quite a bit of weight since Xmas, gained a bit of confidence and went on my first date in about a year. I met this guy on another site.
We got on quite well before we had met, I wasn't physically attracted to him but his personality was spot on, so I decided to give it a go.

The date was a disaster before it even started. He told me he had to meet his brother afterwards and would need to leave early, and he was bringing his car so couldn't have a few drinks. Went on the date, I thought things went okay until I woke to a message this morning to say how he wasn't interested in me. That's fine, I'm glad he told me.

But now I feel my confidence has once again been knocked. I've been on this and other. dating sites since I first moved to Dublin 6 years ago. I'm going on 27 this year and I've never been in a relationship. Online clearly isn't working for me and I really feel like giving up. Maybe there isn't someone out there for me?


If you were my daughter, I'd advise you to get off dating sites and meet guys in the real world. You're young, you're pretty, for sure there's someone out there for you. Go out and have fun while you're looking for him. Good luck!!! hug bouquet
Feb 23, 2014 5:20 PM CST Dating
lilo1234: I've recently lost quite a bit of weight since Xmas, gained a bit of confidence and went on my first date in about a year. I met this guy on another site.
We got on quite well before we had met, I wasn't physically attracted to him but his personality was spot on, so I decided to give it a go.

The date was a disaster before it even started. He told me he had to meet his brother afterwards and would need to leave early, and he was bringing his car so couldn't have a few drinks. Went on the date, I thought things went okay until I woke to a message this morning to say how he wasn't interested in me. That's fine, I'm glad he told me.

But now I feel my confidence has once again been knocked. I've been on this and other. dating sites since I first moved to Dublin 6 years ago. I'm going on 27 this year and I've never been in a relationship. Online clearly isn't working for me and I really feel like giving up. Maybe there isn't someone out there for me?


Some good advice from the other girls there.
And by the way, not having had a relationship by age 26 is far from being unusual so don't worry about that.

And fair play to you for giving the guy a chance based on his personality even though you didn't find him attractive, a lot of women wouldn't do that.
Feb 23, 2014 5:26 PM CST Dating
Taureanmale
TaureanmaleTaureanmaleRoscommon, Ireland86 Threads 5 Polls 1,672 Posts
Hey its only your first date and there ll be many more I m sure, dont let one stumble knock you back, put it down to one less to go to meet the one....you re only young yet, enjoy it.
You have a lot going in your favour, like for instance you re that bit more mature now and know better what you want when the right one does come along.
Feb 23, 2014 5:36 PM CST Dating
facetowardsfront
facetowardsfrontfacetowardsfrontCork, Ireland42 Threads 1 Polls 2,921 Posts
lilo1234:
The date was a disaster ..... couldn't have a few drinks


So, you're looking for a drinker? Or a drinking companion?
Feb 23, 2014 5:56 PM CST Dating
lilo1234
lilo1234lilo1234Dublin, Ireland1 Threads 3 Posts
facetowardsfront: So, you're looking for a drinker? Or a drinking companion?

Ermm no, that's not what I said.. It doesn't bother me if someone doesn't drink! We had planned a night out with dinner and a few drinks. He clearly didn't want to go in the first place!
Feb 23, 2014 5:58 PM CST Dating
facetowardsfront
facetowardsfrontfacetowardsfrontCork, Ireland42 Threads 1 Polls 2,921 Posts
lilo1234: Ermm no, that's not what I said.. It doesn't bother me if someone doesn't drink! We had planned a night out with dinner and a few drinks. He clearly didn't want to go in the first place!


Right so. Drinking on a date, especially on the early dates is not a good idea. You need to keep the head clear and the boundaries well defined.
Feb 23, 2014 5:59 PM CST Dating
lilo1234
lilo1234lilo1234Dublin, Ireland1 Threads 3 Posts
Thanks very much for the replies!
Suppose I feel I'm missing out.. Maybe I will just knock dating on the head for a while!
Feb 24, 2014 8:46 AM CST Dating
fifitheminx
fifitheminxfifitheminxDublin, Ireland35 Threads 4,039 Posts
he went on a date n had to meet his brother after...really sounds like he has the dating problem, so why let your confidence be knocked, you had a crap date..it happens.

why do people base their self esteem on the valuation they are imagining some loser puts on them?

seriously!

you are worth exactly what you decide you are, put out there in the world that you are..now hanging your head low and saying maybe im not as good as everyone else and dont deserve the same things brings you just exactly that.

start valuing yourself and everyone wants you...believe me its true.
Feb 24, 2014 1:25 PM CST Dating
WittyandWise
WittyandWiseWittyandWiseDerry, Donegal Ireland15 Threads 2 Polls 3,364 Posts
lilo1234: Thanks very much for the replies!
Suppose I feel I'm missing out.. Maybe I will just knock dating on the head for a while!


awe don't let one bad experience put you off. some dates are better than others, you're sure to have a fun date if you keep trying, but if you give up , you miss the chance of the fun date.hug
I decided 2014 was time for me go on dates, hey no one's going to call at my door looking for me and dating can be fun cool
Feb 24, 2014 3:40 PM CST Dating
facetowardsfront
facetowardsfrontfacetowardsfrontCork, Ireland42 Threads 1 Polls 2,921 Posts
fifitheminx:
why do people base their self esteem on the valuation they are imagining some loser puts on them?


For 'people' read 'women' and for 'loser' read 'man'. There! Can you see the misandry now?
Feb 24, 2014 3:45 PM CST Dating
modermen
modermenmodermencork, Cork Ireland66 Threads 1,108 Posts
lilo1234: I've recently lost quite a bit of weight since Xmas, gained a bit of confidence and went on my first date in about a year. I met this guy on another site.
We got on quite well before we had met, I wasn't physically attracted to him but his personality was spot on, so I decided to give it a go.

The date was a disaster before it even started. He told me he had to meet his brother afterwards and would need to leave early, and he was bringing his car so couldn't have a few drinks. Went on the date, I thought things went okay until I woke to a message this morning to say how he wasn't interested in me. That's fine, I'm glad he told me.

But now I feel my confidence has once again been knocked. I've been on this and other. dating sites since I first moved to Dublin 6 years ago. I'm going on 27 this year and I've never been in a relationship. Online clearly isn't working for me and I really feel like giving up. Maybe there isn't someone out there for me?
The chances of online dating working out are slim unless you bang the next guy you meet on the first night or at least give him something to go on for the next adventure, it gets it out of the way, don't mess around ,life is not a rehearsal .
Feb 24, 2014 3:50 PM CST Dating
facetowardsfront
facetowardsfrontfacetowardsfrontCork, Ireland42 Threads 1 Polls 2,921 Posts
modermen: The chances of online dating working out are slim unless you bang the next guy you meet on the first night or at least give him something to go on for the next adventure, it gets it out of the way, don't mess around ,life is not a rehearsal .


I met a most unlikely couple a few weeks ago who had met on a dating site. She is a foreigner and would never have met him in real life and even if they had they would probably never have got it together. Because he could show here his house here in Ireland and where he was living, she was enticed to come visit him last year. She spent a couple of weeks with him and loved it so now she is back in Ireland 'for good', living with him. So far so good thumbs up
Feb 24, 2014 3:55 PM CST Dating
Phoenix
PhoenixPhoenixBelfast....., Antrim Ireland274 Threads 65 Polls 6,948 Posts
facetowardsfront: I met a most unlikely couple a few weeks ago who had met on a dating site. She is a foreigner and would never have met him in real life and even if they had they would probably never have got it together. Because he could show here his house here in Ireland and where he was living, she was enticed to come visit him last year. She spent a couple of weeks with him and loved it so now she is back in Ireland 'for good', living with him. So far so good



So that's were he went.. He fell in love online..
Feb 24, 2014 4:10 PM CST Dating
facetowardsfront
facetowardsfrontfacetowardsfrontCork, Ireland42 Threads 1 Polls 2,921 Posts
Phoenix: So that's were he went.. He fell in love online..


I doubt it. It's mother probably has hit men after it laugh
Feb 24, 2014 4:17 PM CST Dating
modermen
modermenmodermencork, Cork Ireland66 Threads 1,108 Posts
facetowardsfront: I met a most unlikely couple a few weeks ago who had met on a dating site. She is a foreigner and would never have met him in real life and even if they had they would probably never have got it together. Because he could show here his house here in Ireland and where he was living, she was enticed to come visit him last year. She spent a couple of weeks with him and loved it so now she is back in Ireland 'for good', living with him. So far so good
Japers its all cloak and dagger on here profiles coming out of the shadows doing a dance and back into the abyss again and emerging some where else under a diferent pseudonym , you couldent be up to it.
Feb 24, 2014 4:20 PM CST Dating
facetowardsfront
facetowardsfrontfacetowardsfrontCork, Ireland42 Threads 1 Polls 2,921 Posts
modermen: Japers its all cloak and dagger on here profiles coming out of the shadows doing a dance and back into the abyss again and emerging some where else under a diferent pseudonym , you couldent be up to it.


The little turnip didn't have the copyright on that term and like the word 'gay' I refuse to cede it to a little fraggit.laugh
Feb 24, 2014 4:58 PM CST Dating
fifitheminx
fifitheminxfifitheminxDublin, Ireland35 Threads 4,039 Posts
facetowardsfront: For 'people' read 'women' and for 'loser' read 'man'. There! Can you see the misandry now?



no for people read people and for loser read loser..

You dont know everything.

stop putting words in peoples mouths..
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by lilo1234 (3 Posts)
Created: Feb 2014
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