Would you do it? ( Archived) (26)

May 2, 2014 4:33 PM CST Would you do it?
lifeisadream
lifeisadreamlifeisadreamMexi Go, Mexico State Mexico156 Threads 20 Polls 16,713 Posts
An acquaintance of mine has allowed and supported her oldest child to sue his biological Father because of some medical bills which the Father could cover –without having to pay anything himself- because of medical insurance.

(Here parents have the legal obligation to support children even if they reach the majority of age, as long as they are students. This is the case of this boy).

The same acquaintance of mine: her Ex is already married to a widow Lady and she (the widow) has changed her children’s Father name (whom is death obvious) by her new partner’s name.

Qs
Would you allow/advice/support your children suing the other parent?
Would you change your children Father/Mother name once you are married to other person?


Thanks in advance and please feel free to comment any time to any post.



teddybear
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May 2, 2014 4:47 PM CST Would you do it?
Ccincy
CcincyCcincyCincinnati, Ohio USA77 Threads 20,535 Posts
To answer your 1st question: When my son became of age,left home and supports himself I no longer feel obligated to allow/advise/support if he were to sue someone for whatever the case.


To your 2nd question:Nope.
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May 2, 2014 4:58 PM CST Would you do it?
lifeisadream
lifeisadreamlifeisadreamMexi Go, Mexico State Mexico156 Threads 20 Polls 16,713 Posts
Ccincy: To answer your 1st question: When my son became of age,left home and supports himself I no longer feel obligated to allow/advise/support if he were to sue someone for whatever the case.To your 2nd question:Nope.


Hi CC

Americans are a bit different of Mexicans regarding to children’s raring(both ways are fine) and I have had the opportunity to see it first hand.

We Mexicans are tied to our children no matter their age but at the same time Mexican children are expected to care for their parents once they are old while in USA elder parents are placed in a nursing home. Either way is fine again.

To the topic:
I will under not circumstance support any of my children to sue their Father and for the medical bills; well we will just have to take them on our own.

For the second Q:
No, I will not apove of/support/change my children's Father name.

wave
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May 2, 2014 4:59 PM CST Would you do it?
jac379
jac379jac379pontyclun, South Glamorgan, Wales UK25 Threads 3 Polls 12,293 Posts
Without knowing the full circumstances, it's difficult to say.

If my child was likely to be in debt, suffer hardship, have to go without essential treatment, leave education through lack of funding and his/her father was wealthy and not making a contribution, then I imagine I would support my child suing his/her father. If however, I was in a position to cover the costs myself, blah, blah, blah, then I wouldn't. I would sooner not do something like that as it's emotionally draining and creates unnecessary antagonism. I prefer the simple life, even if that means pulling in my belt a notch, or two.

I wouldn't change my own name if I got married, but if it was in my children's best interests to change their name and they had consented, or requested their name be changed, then I would. I would also be keen for them to keep their deceased father's name if that was appropriate and their wish. Identity and memories can be very important, whether due to good experience, or bad.
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May 2, 2014 5:01 PM CST Would you do it?
serene56
serene56serene56Myplace, New South Wales Australia543 Threads 10 Polls 27,963 Posts
I'm not a fan of seeking financial assistance from an ex in any way, shape or form.

When I left my husband, I took it as a given that my future would include being responsible for my young son in every way, with positive input from his father being welcome if offered by him.

Which it wasn't, so my son has only ever had my emotional, physical and financial support and that has probably kept things simpler for us both.

Not saying this is the case with the woman you know Life, but I do think that at times women support the type of actions you mention as a form of retribution toward their ex, a way of making them 'pay' perhaps.
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May 2, 2014 5:04 PM CST Would you do it?
Ccincy
CcincyCcincyCincinnati, Ohio USA77 Threads 20,535 Posts
lifeisadream: Hi CC

Americans are a bit different of Mexicans regarding to children’s raring(both ways are fine) and I have had the opportunity to see it first hand.

We Mexicans are tied to our children no matter their age but at the same time Mexican children are expected to care for their parents once they are old while in USA elder parents are placed in a nursing home. Either way is fine again.

To the topic:
I will under not circumstance support any of my children to sue their Father and for the medical bills; well we will just have to take them on our own.

For the second Q:
No, I will not apove of/support/change my children's Father name.




Hi Life I worked in two separate nursing homes and some adult kids rarely if ever came to visit their parents.

When my mother became ill I took care her until the day that she passed away in a hospital.
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May 2, 2014 5:24 PM CST Would you do it?
GUZMAN1
GUZMAN1GUZMAN1Barcelona, Catalonia Spain65 Threads 44 Polls 5,101 Posts
I dislike the idea of changing the name of children, they can do it for themselves when they become adults.

Should be a limit for it. Imagine that the mother has a new partner next year and she wants to repeat the change of name.
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May 2, 2014 5:28 PM CST Would you do it?
lifeisadream
lifeisadreamlifeisadreamMexi Go, Mexico State Mexico156 Threads 20 Polls 16,713 Posts
jac379: Without knowing the full circumstances, it's difficult to say.

If my child was likely to be in debt, suffer hardship, have to go without essential treatment, leave education through lack of funding and his/her father was wealthy and not making a contribution, then I imagine I would support my child suing his/her father. If however, I was in a position to cover the costs myself, blah, blah, blah, then I wouldn't. I would sooner not do something like that as it's emotionally draining and creates unnecessary antagonism. I prefer the simple life, even if that means pulling in my belt a notch, or two.

I wouldn't change my own name if I got married, but if it was in my children's best interests to change their name and they had consented, or requested their name be changed, then I would. I would also be keen for them to keep their deceased father's name if that was appropriate and their wish. Identity and memories can be very important, whether due to good experience, or bad.


She is a Professor Jac(about to get her PhD) and she could afford to take care for her son’s medical bill (not easy but still she could yet his ex could too).

To me it is really heart breaking that some years from now that boy will feel miserable about suing his Dad and so will his Dad.

I do see the above situation as a way of her making him to pay back. I did not know about it once it was too late. Otherwise I would have advised her not to let her son sue her ex.

For my name I have never changed either.
Would I? I do noy think so.

conversing
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May 2, 2014 5:35 PM CST Would you do it?
lifeisadream
lifeisadreamlifeisadreamMexi Go, Mexico State Mexico156 Threads 20 Polls 16,713 Posts
serene56: I'm not a fan of seeking financial assistance from an ex in any way, shape or form.

When I left my husband, I took it as a given that my future would include being responsible for my young son in every way, with positive input from his father being welcome if offered by him.

Which it wasn't, so my son has only ever had my emotional, physical and financial support and that has probably kept things simpler for us both.

Not saying this is the case with the woman you know Life, but I do think that at times women support the type of actions you mention as a form of retribution toward their ex, a way of making them 'pay' perhaps.

Exactly Serene!

I do see it as a way to make him pay back.

On my own case: my children’s Father has always being too responsible for our children needs (once we were apart). In fact, he has given them more than he should but then I think he feels guilty I don’t.



wave
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May 2, 2014 5:40 PM CST Would you do it?
lifeisadream
lifeisadreamlifeisadreamMexi Go, Mexico State Mexico156 Threads 20 Polls 16,713 Posts
Ccincy: Hi Life I worked in two separate nursing homes and some adult kids rarely if ever came to visit their parents.

When my mother became ill I took care her until the day that she passed away in a hospital.


I wish I had taken care of my parents the way you did. My Father died while visiting us of a heart attack and my Mother died while I was in USA and I had to rush 2 times, once when she was really sick and then the last time.

broken heart

wave
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May 2, 2014 5:42 PM CST Would you do it?
lifeisadream
lifeisadreamlifeisadreamMexi Go, Mexico State Mexico156 Threads 20 Polls 16,713 Posts
GUZMAN1: I dislike the idea of changing the name of children, they can do it for themselves when they become adults.

Should be a limit for it. Imagine that the mother has a new partner next year and she wants to repeat the change of name.


Yes, that is nonsense Guzman especially here where children get their Father and Mother last name.



wave
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May 3, 2014 3:30 AM CST Would you do it?
theD0CT0R
theD0CT0RtheD0CT0RLaunceston, Tasmania Australia22 Threads 936 Posts
lifeisadream: An acquaintance of mine has allowed and supported her oldest child to sue his biological Father because of some medical bills which the Father could cover –without having to pay anything himself- because of medical insurance.

(Here parents have the legal obligation to support children even if they reach the majority of age, as long as they are students. This is the case of this boy).

The same acquaintance of mine: her Ex is already married to a widow Lady and she (the widow) has changed her children’s Father name (whom is death obvious) by her new partner’s name.

Qs
Would you allow/advice/support your children suing the other parent?
Would you change your children Father/Mother name once you are married to other person?Thanks in advance and please feel free to comment any time to any post.

Q1: Suing parents is a low thing to do in my opinion. But, parents should by rights, support their children no matter if they live with them or not.
Q2: That's a difficult one to answer. I'd probably not change the surname of any child. But, I have two brothers that have changed their surnames to my mothers maiden name. So really, it doesn't matter, they will change it if they want to when they get old enough.
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May 3, 2014 3:31 AM CST Would you do it?
lonelygal122
lonelygal122lonelygal122HallsGap, Victoria Australia8 Threads 4,567 Posts
theD0CT0R: Q1: Suing parents is a low thing to do in my opinion. But, parents should by rights, support their children no matter if they live with them or not.
Q2: That's a difficult one to answer. I'd probably not change the surname of any child. But, I have two brothers that have changed their surnames to my mothers maiden name. So really, it doesn't matter, they will change it if they want to when they get old enough.
Hey you!reunion
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May 3, 2014 3:33 AM CST Would you do it?
theD0CT0R
theD0CT0RtheD0CT0RLaunceston, Tasmania Australia22 Threads 936 Posts
lonelygal122: Hey you!
Well hello there LG reunion
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May 3, 2014 3:34 AM CST Would you do it?
lonelygal122
lonelygal122lonelygal122HallsGap, Victoria Australia8 Threads 4,567 Posts
theD0CT0R: Well hello there LG
hug You make a good point.
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May 3, 2014 3:41 AM CST Would you do it?
theD0CT0R
theD0CT0RtheD0CT0RLaunceston, Tasmania Australia22 Threads 936 Posts
lonelygal122: You make a good point.
Thanks to my mum, I'm pretty wise for my agehug
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May 3, 2014 3:44 AM CST Would you do it?
lifeisadream: An acquaintance of mine has allowed and supported her oldest child to sue his biological Father because of some medical bills which the Father could cover –without having to pay anything himself- because of medical insurance.

(Here parents have the legal obligation to support children even if they reach the majority of age, as long as they are students. This is the case of this boy).

The same acquaintance of mine: her Ex is already married to a widow Lady and she (the widow) has changed her children’s Father name (whom is death obvious) by her new partner’s name.

Qs
Would you allow/advice/support your children suing the other parent?
Would you change your children Father/Mother name once you are married to other person?Thanks in advance and please feel free to comment any time to any post.
I am wonder to see life system there, kids dunno their father, every thirday divorce, 1 woman with so many men , one men with different women....thats not good way to spend the life....
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May 3, 2014 7:33 AM CST Would you do it?
Obstinance_Works
Obstinance_WorksObstinance_WorksManchester, Greater Manchester, England UK3 Threads 1 Polls 3,514 Posts
lifeisadream: An acquaintance of mine has allowed and supported her oldest child to sue his biological Father because of some medical bills which the Father could cover –without having to pay anything himself- because of medical insurance.

(Here parents have the legal obligation to support children even if they reach the majority of age, as long as they are students. This is the case of this boy).

The same acquaintance of mine: her Ex is already married to a widow Lady and she (the widow) has changed her children’s Father name (whom is death obvious) by her new partner’s name.

Qs
Would you allow/advice/support your children suing the other parent?
Would you change your children Father/Mother name once you are married to other person?Thanks in advance and please feel free to comment any time to any post.


And that's one way misogynists are made. I'd say there's a strong chance that the Son will eventually come to hate(or secretly resent)his Mother and perhaps every other woman on the planet.
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May 3, 2014 7:40 AM CST Would you do it?
jac379
jac379jac379pontyclun, South Glamorgan, Wales UK25 Threads 3 Polls 12,293 Posts
Obstinance_Works: And that's one way misogynists are made. I'd say there's a strong chance that the Son will eventually come to hate(or secretly resent)his Mother and perhaps every other woman on the planet.

That somewhat contradicts the whole idea of taking responsibility for your actions.

Personally, I think men are capable of free will and volition and nobody 'makes' them become misogynist in their attitude.
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May 3, 2014 9:29 AM CST Would you do it?
Obstinance_Works
Obstinance_WorksObstinance_WorksManchester, Greater Manchester, England UK3 Threads 1 Polls 3,514 Posts
jac379: That somewhat contradicts the whole idea of taking responsibility for your actions.

Personally, I think men are capable of free will and volition and nobody 'makes' them become misogynist in their attitude.



I'd say this to all the single mums out there - if your child thinks you're giving their Dad a raw deal they will resent you for life.

The rules of society may make it easy for a Mother to destroy a Father if she wishes it so, but the heart of a child has no such rules and they will hold her accountable to the consequences of her actions. The innocence of a child knows what justice is.
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by lifeisadream (156 Threads)
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