NidifugousOPYap, Federated States of Micronesia1,430 posts
Have you noticed a pattern in your relationship behavior?
Apart from my marriage, all my relationships either ended or went sour at around the 2-3 year mark. I guess that's the point when things get boring. It didn't happen in my marriage because we had a joint goal and a child and were really busy, but with relationships, there is, at least in my mind, not the same level of commitment as in a marriage and so perhaps I don't try too hard. Anyway, I'm curious whether others out there noticed patterns in their past relationships that repeat themselves? Do you also get bored? or what is it that repeats itself?
Nidifugous: Have you noticed a pattern in your relationship behavior?
Apart from my marriage, all my relationships either ended or went sour at around the 2-3 year mark. I guess that's the point when things get boring. It didn't happen in my marriage because we had a joint goal and a child and were really busy, but with relationships, there is, at least in my mind, not the same level of commitment as in a marriage and so perhaps I don't try too hard. Anyway, I'm curious whether others out there noticed patterns in their past relationships that repeat themselves? Do you also get bored? or what is it that repeats itself?
The 7 year itch does occur, but the time varies from person to person. It's like a biorhythm that says "I'm done"
Nidifugous: I must have a faster than average biorhythm I never noticed a 7 year change. What is supposed to happen at 7 yrs?
The idea behind the 7 year itch is that is when a child is old enough to be on its own (get out the coco puffs, turn on the video game, etc.) This frees the parents to seek romance elsewhere. The theory heavily favors the male.
postneoludite: The idea behind the 7 year itch is that is when a child is old enough to be on its own (get out the coco puffs, turn on the video game, etc.) This frees the parents to seek romance elsewhere. The theory heavily favors the male.
Maybe that is because he has figured out the coco pops also?
Nidifugous: Have you noticed a pattern in your relationship behavior?
Apart from my marriage, all my relationships either ended or went sour at around the 2-3 year mark. I guess that's the point when things get boring. It didn't happen in my marriage because we had a joint goal and a child and were really busy, but with relationships, there is, at least in my mind, not the same level of commitment as in a marriage and so perhaps I don't try too hard. Anyway, I'm curious whether others out there noticed patterns in their past relationships that repeat themselves? Do you also get bored? or what is it that repeats itself?
The downfall of marriage is one driving factor in serial monogamy. But the overarching psychologies are unwarranted ego and aspiration, disposable attitudes and the dearth of that old-fashioned 'make do and mend' spirit.
My sticking point is the first year mark. Since my first proper girlfriend at aged 16, 3 out of the 4 relationships I've ended either just before or just after a year.
I have friendships that last 20 years, and at one time or anther they were strong physical relationships.
.... now marriage on the other hand were lucky to last 2 years, I am generally not a big fan of large organized and morally restricted institutions.
I am a big fan of love, respect, loyalty, fun, joy, play and delight with another person.
I don't generalize anymore to say that this "relationship" is xy or z, because it might be all or none of it at any given time in life.
I guess because the marriage was when I was eighteen, who at eighteen knows another person? It is just luck and opportunity in finding a mate, when I didn't deliberately go out with a checklist in finding the "right man". And I would suspect that we all have friends in our life that are not really good for us, and naturally I married him.
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Apart from my marriage, all my relationships either ended or went sour at around the 2-3 year mark. I guess that's the point when things get boring. It didn't happen in my marriage because we had a joint goal and a child and were really busy, but with relationships, there is, at least in my mind, not the same level of commitment as in a marriage and so perhaps I don't try too hard. Anyway, I'm curious whether others out there noticed patterns in their past relationships that repeat themselves? Do you also get bored? or what is it that repeats itself?