NidifugousOPYap, Federated States of Micronesia1,430 posts
Do you say it when you feel it?
Women: Do you wait for the guy to say it first before you let your guard down?
Men: How did you feel when a woman said it to you first? Were you flattered, turned off, positively surprised?
Both: Did you ever let someone down after they said it?
Being older, does it still matter who says it first and when? or are you a believer in "it's implied in my actions"? (i.e. I don't need to say it, I show it).
How important is it that your date/partner says the magic words?
When I feel love for someone it isn't contingent on their even feeling love for me so if they don't say it or feel it, I still love them. I have learned that when I love it is unconditional and that's the best kind. I have however learned that saying it too early in a relationship can make the object of your affections feel a little uncomfortable or pressured and it's nice to kind of let it grow slowly (so take your time).
NidifugousOPYap, Federated States of Micronesia1,430 posts
Wise words, esp. the bit where you say that it doesn't matter whether the other person loves you back. That's a great attitude and takes a fair bit of self-confidence.
I still think there's always something of a power play going on in a relationship as well as a fear of rejection. The one who says "I love you" sincerely is always in a vulnerable position esp. if the feelings aren't reciprocated.
NidifugousOPYap, Federated States of Micronesia1,430 posts
Ccincy: To me it doesn't matter which one of us say I love you first just as long as it is said.Actions are important too.
Once you're in a relationship and both said it, it doesn't really matter who says it first. I'm talking about early on, before things are established, you know.
There is also a big cultural gap that I've noticed esp. btwn Europeans and Americans. In the U.S. people are much more open to saying "I love you" whereas in many European cultures it's still not said much.
Nidifugous: Once you're in a relationship and both said it, it doesn't really matter who says it first. I'm talking about early on, before things are established, you know.
There is also a big cultural gap that I've noticed esp. btwn Europeans and Americans. In the U.S. people are much more open to saying "I love you" whereas in many European cultures it's still not said much.
Until things were established between the guy and I wouldn't come right out ans say I love you just my luck he would say that he didn't love me.I would feel so embarrassed.I'd be thinking Opps.
NidifugousOPYap, Federated States of Micronesia1,430 posts
Ccincy: Until things were established between the guy and I wouldn't come right out ans say I love you just my luck he would say that he didn't love me.I would feel so embarrassed.I'd be thinking Opps.
I know I would be really embarrassed if I said it and the guy waffled around or said he didn't. I can't imagine how tough it is for the guys out there because I think it's still expected of them to say it first.
I also think many don't want to come out and say the words for that reason and put it in different words or say the opposite with a wink, wink or they talk around it
I always say the magic word,when is time to say good bye on a first date,and have agreed to meet again. My usual is..."""I think am falling in love with you""".
Nidifugous: Do you say it when you feel it?
Women: Do you wait for the guy to say it first before you let your guard down?
Men: How did you feel when a woman said it to you first? Were you flattered, turned off, positively surprised?
Both: Did you ever let someone down after they said it?
Being older, does it still matter who says it first and when? or are you a believer in "it's implied in my actions"? (i.e. I don't need to say it, I show it).
How important is it that your date/partner says the magic words?
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Women: Do you wait for the guy to say it first before you let your guard down?
Men: How did you feel when a woman said it to you first? Were you flattered, turned off, positively surprised?
Both: Did you ever let someone down after they said it?
Being older, does it still matter who says it first and when? or are you a believer in "it's implied in my actions"? (i.e. I don't need to say it, I show it).
How important is it that your date/partner says the magic words?