peachmelba: Maybe ob thinks it be like selling his soul...One love.One commitment ,Can still be both independant no need to be scared,Omg I really have to close my office now,
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Yes indeed Peach. that or start charging more for sound advice my dear.
peachmelba: .Your even haunting yourself in your dreams .
Tormented.Yes it's the fear,you have to face it ow,Your girlfriend is not the fireing squad or ss,Haha,,,,go and take your socks off and dip your toes ,might be nice and relaxing and ha cove a fink.
.Ahh maybe that's the prob with you too much stinky thinking,Ta ra ,
Better grab a coffee,
I do worry about everything being just right because I don't want there to be any future resentments. My fear is ultimately divorce. Once I'm married with kids I will continue to eat those sprouts no matter what. Me and my Brother are just the same coming from a messy, broken background. We both have the ironclad will to avoid divorce and the children growing up in a broken home at all costs. And today that means that I expect perfection(or near as dammit)although there may never be that perfect chance.
tomcatwarneOcean City, Plumouth, Devon, England UK17,106 posts
I don't remember making a conscience decision about falling in love, although we are all attracted to our preferences in women, the actual falling in love seemed to take place at a more subconscious level, presenting itself to me as a done deal which was made for me. first there was attraction and love came in and took me for a spin, like it or not
tomcatwarne: I don't remember making a conscience decision about falling in love, although we are all attracted to our preferences in women, the actual falling in love seemed to take place at a more subconscious level, presenting itself to me as a done deal which was made for me. first there was attraction and love came in and took me for a spin, like it or not
Obstinance_Works: I do worry about everything being just right because I don't want there to be any future resentments. My fear is ultimately divorce. Once I'm married with kids I will continue to eat those sprouts no matter what. Me and my Brother are just the same coming from a messy, broken background. We both have the ironclad will to avoid divorce and the children growing up in a broken home at all costs. And today that means that I expect perfection(or near as dammit)although there may never be that perfect chance.
Yes I understand where you are coming from as a secure happy home with partner and children is the ideal,
You know when you are ready not a moment before, Seems you have fear of failure,
Coming from your background and you want what's best ,,we do what we do at the time,try ones best,hope for the best,
It's an ol cliche but all anyone can do is our best and knowing that we have tried is success in itself,
Yes you are right not to rush into things and things will come together if its meant and you want that with your woman,
peachmelba: Yes I understand where you are coming from as a secure happy home with partner and children is the ideal,
You know when you are ready not a moment before, Seems you have fear of failure,
Coming from your background and you want what's best ,,we do what we do at the time,try ones best,hope for the best,
It's an ol cliche but all anyone can do is our best and knowing that we have tried is success in itself,
Yes you are right not to rush into things and things will come together if its meant and you want that with your woman,
Never let fear stop you,
Ahh best luck only you know what you want.
Absolutely. When it comes to marriage and setting up a family I do have a fear of failure. Always wondering if I can be better, or she can be better, to prevent it from going wrong.
I don't usually talk about my problems but when I do I know I don't shut up. Thanks for listening.
Obstinance_Works: Absolutely. When it comes to marriage and setting up a family I do have a fear of failure. Always wondering if I can be better, or she can be better, to prevent it from going wrong.
I don't usually talk about my problems but when I do I know I don't shut up. Thanks for listening.
It's hard life living up to ones expectations ,
Everything in its right box ,in its neat little compartment.
I'm trying to think of this film starring Nicholas cage I think it's called family man.
Well at least your woman knows you have the best intentions at heart and want the best for yourself,for her and any potencial children you may have,
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You have potencial you can do it think yourself as the man from the Halifax add,
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I think it's always best if a couple live together first.
Thank you for all the interesting replies. Apologies for late response.
There are, as usual, varying thoughts on the matter.
But the overriding one seems to be that whilst you cannot choose who you are attracted to, you can choose if you want to pursue that attraction, which could ultimately lead to Love.
mollybaby: Thank you for all the interesting replies. Apologies for late response.
There are, as usual, varying thoughts on the matter.
But the overriding one seems to be that whilst you cannot choose who you are attracted to, you can choose if you want to pursue that attraction, which could ultimately lead to Love.
And that's perfect intro. Although I do think that also the intial attraction is "subsciously" controlled to some extend. Like I could never felt attracted for a guy smelling like cigarets.
Moreover, there are more "down to earth" things, which can kill or make the initial attraction flourish. And it all depends on our personal criteria, so in this way we do control with who we fell in love. However, we don't do it consciously in most of the cases, as we let the adrenaline and other hormones take the lead. It's simply because our brains are lazy and know that want simply want to be loved.
Katiko: And that's perfect intro. Although I do think that also the intial attraction is "subsciously" controlled to some extend. Like I could never felt attracted for a guy smelling like cigarets.
Moreover, there are more "down to earth" things, which can kill or make the initial attraction flourish. And it all depends on our personal criteria, so in this way we do control with who we fell in love. However, we don't do it consciously in most of the cases, as we let the adrenaline and other hormones take the lead. It's simply because our brains are lazy and know that want simply want to be loved.
Letting the unconscious or subconscious overtake the conscious decision-making process?
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is good for you.
Maybe ob thinks it be like selling his soul...
One love.
One commitment ,
Can still be both independant no need to be scared,
Omg I really have to close my office now,
.