We don't choose who we fall in love with. ( Archived) (97)

Dec 11, 2014 8:52 AM CST We don't choose who we fall in love with.
peachmelba
peachmelbapeachmelbawexford, Wexford Ireland72 Threads 9,779 Posts
Dragos1: Best that you get out there while you are still welcome and have a Heart. I bet you would not regret it.
is good for you.





Maybe ob thinks it be like selling his soul...


One love.


One commitment ,


Can still be both independant no need to be scared,


Omg I really have to close my office now,

laugh .

wave
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Dec 11, 2014 8:56 AM CST We don't choose who we fall in love with.
peachmelba: Maybe ob thinks it be like selling his soul...One love.One commitment ,Can still be both independant no need to be scared,Omg I really have to close my office now,

.


Yes indeed Peach. that or start charging more for sound advice my dear.

rose
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Dec 11, 2014 9:13 AM CST We don't choose who we fall in love with.
Obstinance_Works
Obstinance_WorksObstinance_WorksManchester, Greater Manchester, England UK3 Threads 1 Polls 3,514 Posts
peachmelba: .Your even haunting yourself in your dreams .

Tormented.Yes it's the fear,you have to face it ow,Your girlfriend is not the fireing squad or ss,Haha,,,,go and take your socks off and dip your toes ,might be nice and relaxing and ha cove a fink.

.Ahh maybe that's the prob with you too much stinky thinking,Ta ra ,

Better grab a coffee,


I do worry about everything being just right because I don't want there to be any future resentments. My fear is ultimately divorce. Once I'm married with kids I will continue to eat those sprouts no matter what. Me and my Brother are just the same coming from a messy, broken background. We both have the ironclad will to avoid divorce and the children growing up in a broken home at all costs. And today that means that I expect perfection(or near as dammit)although there may never be that perfect chance.
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Dec 11, 2014 9:35 AM CST We don't choose who we fall in love with.
tomcatwarne
tomcatwarnetomcatwarneOcean City, Plumouth, Devon, England UK289 Threads 7 Polls 17,106 Posts
I don't remember making a conscience decision about falling in love, although we are all attracted to our preferences in women, the actual falling in love seemed to take place at a more subconscious level, presenting itself to me as a done deal which was made for me. first there was attraction and love came in and took me for a spin, like it or not grin grin grin wink
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Dec 11, 2014 9:49 AM CST We don't choose who we fall in love with.
reb56
reb56reb56carthage, Missouri USA55 Polls 8,629 Posts
123butterflies: some things we have no control over, and sometimes that's the way it should be
who wrote the book of love?lol.
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Dec 11, 2014 9:59 AM CST We don't choose who we fall in love with.
pedalguy59
pedalguy59pedalguy59Burlington, Ontario Canada28 Threads 1 Polls 6,976 Posts
tomcatwarne: I don't remember making a conscience decision about falling in love, although we are all attracted to our preferences in women, the actual falling in love seemed to take place at a more subconscious level, presenting itself to me as a done deal which was made for me. first there was attraction and love came in and took me for a spin, like it or not


Are you talking about a Vincent Black Shadow?laugh
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Dec 11, 2014 10:10 AM CST We don't choose who we fall in love with.
reb56
reb56reb56carthage, Missouri USA55 Polls 8,629 Posts
pedalguy59: Are you talking about a Vincent Black Shadow?
or dying ambers.
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Dec 11, 2014 10:23 AM CST We don't choose who we fall in love with.
peachmelba
peachmelbapeachmelbawexford, Wexford Ireland72 Threads 9,779 Posts
Obstinance_Works: I do worry about everything being just right because I don't want there to be any future resentments. My fear is ultimately divorce. Once I'm married with kids I will continue to eat those sprouts no matter what. Me and my Brother are just the same coming from a messy, broken background. We both have the ironclad will to avoid divorce and the children growing up in a broken home at all costs. And today that means that I expect perfection(or near as dammit)although there may never be that perfect chance.





Yes I understand where you are coming from as a secure happy home with partner and children is the ideal,

You know when you are ready not a moment before,
Seems you have fear of failure,

Coming from your background and you want what's best ,,we do what we do at the time,try ones best,hope for the best,

It's an ol cliche but all anyone can do is our best and knowing that we have tried is success in itself,

Yes you are right not to rush into things and things will come together if its meant and you want that with your woman,

Never let fear stop you,

Ahh best luck only you know what you want.

thumbs up
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Dec 11, 2014 10:27 AM CST We don't choose who we fall in love with.
Obstinance_Works
Obstinance_WorksObstinance_WorksManchester, Greater Manchester, England UK3 Threads 1 Polls 3,514 Posts
peachmelba: Yes I understand where you are coming from as a secure happy home with partner and children is the ideal,

You know when you are ready not a moment before,
Seems you have fear of failure,

Coming from your background and you want what's best ,,we do what we do at the time,try ones best,hope for the best,

It's an ol cliche but all anyone can do is our best and knowing that we have tried is success in itself,

Yes you are right not to rush into things and things will come together if its meant and you want that with your woman,

Never let fear stop you,

Ahh best luck only you know what you want.


Absolutely. When it comes to marriage and setting up a family I do have a fear of failure. Always wondering if I can be better, or she can be better, to prevent it from going wrong.

I don't usually talk about my problems but when I do I know I don't shut up. Thanks for listening.
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Dec 11, 2014 1:10 PM CST We don't choose who we fall in love with.
peachmelba
peachmelbapeachmelbawexford, Wexford Ireland72 Threads 9,779 Posts
Obstinance_Works: Absolutely. When it comes to marriage and setting up a family I do have a fear of failure. Always wondering if I can be better, or she can be better, to prevent it from going wrong.

I don't usually talk about my problems but when I do I know I don't shut up. Thanks for listening.





It's hard life living up to ones expectations ,

Everything in its right box ,in its neat little compartment.


I'm trying to think of this film starring Nicholas cage I think it's called family man.

Well at least your woman knows you have the best intentions at heart and want the best for yourself,for her and any potencial children you may have,

heart wings .


You have potencial you can do it think yourself as the man from the Halifax add,


thumbs up .

I think it's always best if a couple live together first.


Make or break you,,,

beer
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Dec 11, 2014 3:08 PM CST We don't choose who we fall in love with.
mollybaby
mollybabymollybabyCork City, Cork Ireland56 Threads 8 Polls 23,608 Posts
Thank you for all the interesting replies. Apologies for late response.

There are, as usual, varying thoughts on the matter.

But the overriding one seems to be that whilst you cannot choose who you are attracted to, you can choose if you want to pursue that attraction, which could ultimately lead to Love.
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Dec 11, 2014 3:24 PM CST We don't choose who we fall in love with.
mollybaby
mollybabymollybabyCork City, Cork Ireland56 Threads 8 Polls 23,608 Posts
Obs, you are young, smart and savvy.

You have the right attitude to marriage and kids.

Go with your gut feeling, and you will make the best longterm decision.
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Dec 11, 2014 3:38 PM CST We don't choose who we fall in love with.
Katiko
KatikoKatikofreiburg, Baden-Wuerttemberg Germany19 Threads 5 Polls 196 Posts
mollybaby: Thank you for all the interesting replies. Apologies for late response.

There are, as usual, varying thoughts on the matter.

But the overriding one seems to be that whilst you cannot choose who you are attracted to, you can choose if you want to pursue that attraction, which could ultimately lead to Love.


And that's perfect intro. Although I do think that also the intial attraction is "subsciously" controlled to some extend. Like I could never felt attracted for a guy smelling like cigarets.

Moreover, there are more "down to earth" things, which can kill or make the initial attraction flourish. And it all depends on our personal criteria, so in this way we do control with who we fell in love. However, we don't do it consciously in most of the cases, as we let the adrenaline and other hormones take the lead.
It's simply because our brains are lazy and know that want simply want to be loved.
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Dec 11, 2014 3:45 PM CST We don't choose who we fall in love with.
mollybaby
mollybabymollybabyCork City, Cork Ireland56 Threads 8 Polls 23,608 Posts
Katiko: And that's perfect intro. Although I do think that also the intial attraction is "subsciously" controlled to some extend. Like I could never felt attracted for a guy smelling like cigarets.

Moreover, there are more "down to earth" things, which can kill or make the initial attraction flourish. And it all depends on our personal criteria, so in this way we do control with who we fell in love. However, we don't do it consciously in most of the cases, as we let the adrenaline and other hormones take the lead.
It's simply because our brains are lazy and know that want simply want to be loved.


Letting the unconscious or subconscious overtake the conscious decision-making process?



thumbs up
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Dec 11, 2014 3:52 PM CST We don't choose who we fall in love with.
Brannigan70
Brannigan70Brannigan70Yellow Brick Road , Manchester, Mayo Ireland35 Threads 2,339 Posts
mollybaby: Discuss....
Ladies first grin
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Dec 11, 2014 4:06 PM CST We don't choose who we fall in love with.
Katiko
KatikoKatikofreiburg, Baden-Wuerttemberg Germany19 Threads 5 Polls 196 Posts
mollybaby: Letting the unconscious or subconscious overtake the conscious decision-making process?


Exactly.
But all within our personal criteria.
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Dec 11, 2014 4:06 PM CST We don't choose who we fall in love with.
Katiko
KatikoKatikofreiburg, Baden-Wuerttemberg Germany19 Threads 5 Polls 196 Posts
mollybaby: Letting the unconscious or subconscious overtake the conscious decision-making process?


Exactly.
But all within our personal criteria.
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