Soon to be ex husband!! (135)
mjpd67: ...but if you decide to go just go and do the decent thing and carry on with your life and let your Ex do the same but this crap of living in the same house as your ex would be a big no no for me
So you're never, ever coming home again, MJ? But I miss you soooo much, I just can't live without you, my heart cannot beat...
Bwaaahaaaaaa
lol, sorry, Dr MJ, I am sure you're a very nice guy, am taking the mick.
Happy festive season
Happy festive season
henonpause: So you're never, ever coming home again, MJ? But I miss you soooo much, I just can't live without you, my heart cannot beat... Bwaaahaaaaaa
Peachys supplying them mushrooms to you also 
henonpause: The only time there can be no bitterness at the ending of a relationship, is if both parties communicate, but more importantly, genuinely do not have any feelings of love towards the other left.
Again, every situation and everyone is different. My ex held a lot of love all the way through while I was drifting from him, and he hurt badly, but he is an amazing individual and never allowed bitterness to overcome him. We did however communicate a lot, and I always ensured him that my drifting had nothing to do with him not being as amazing as he is.
henonpause: lol, sorry, Dr MJ, I am sure you're a very nice guy, am taking the mick.
Happy festive season
yes Dr Phil has given me a franchise for the west Happy festive season
,problems on a postcard please or to my mailbox 
henonpause: Then again, I had one guy chatting to me - separated - and it transpires that it is all in his mind, seeing as he is still living at home with the wife, and they haven't told the children yet, and are considering putting the house up for sale in the new year....
So yes, sometimes separated means still married. And no, I wouldn't touch them.
Nor would I bother with someone in the process of being separated - too many issues, too much emotional baggage still not packed away.
No thanks.
So yes, sometimes separated means still married. And no, I wouldn't touch them.
Nor would I bother with someone in the process of being separated - too many issues, too much emotional baggage still not packed away.
No thanks.
As u said it really depends on the person, I'm separated a year now and am fully ready for a new relationship! I learned so much from my 10 yr marriage and I now know wat I want and wat i don't want! And who id be suited to. That's the problem, U can't really generalise and say that all separated people are not ready to date etc, everyone is so different, it takes knowing yourself to be ready for a relationship! Some people do very soon after separation! But some people never fully know themselves married, separated or single!!
henonpause: Does he come with a spicy dip?
Sour cream
Tinypaws: Again, every situation and everyone is different. My ex held a lot of love all the way through while I was drifting from him, and he hurt badly, but he is an amazing individual and never allowed bitterness to overcome him. We did however communicate a lot, and I always ensured him that my drifting had nothing to do with him not being as amazing as he is.
Nullum mediterraneis with my ex in nearly 5 years now 
mollybaby: Sour cream
why is there an expiry date on sour cream ?
mjpd67: but this crap of living in the same house as your ex would be a big no no for me ,happy christmas everyone Dr MJPD
Having to dodge flying cups and plates every time I wandered into the kitchen, would put me off the idea too.
mjpd67: why is there an expiry date on sour cream ?
Cos we don't want curdled cream
stanley8m: Having to dodge flying cups and plates every time I wandered into the kitchen, would put me off the idea too.
no violence in my split just grew apart but the tension and silence was deafening 
henonpause: It's a difficult one to call, because everyone's situation is different. I'm on good terms with my ex (who is involved elsewhere since 06) but if he was stuck for somewhere to stay, I'd have no bother letting him back home - because it IS fully, irrevocably over.
My concern would be on the emotional front - not the geographical one. Break ups are hard, and despite thinking you can swan out the door and move on, the emotional upheaval, dents in self esteem, feeling unwanted/unloved, can often spur folk on to rush into the next relationship, for reassurance and comfort. This is not a good basis for a new relationship, and will seldom stand the test of time because the foundation was wrong from the start.
Any separation requires time to process the emotions that inevitably ensue, no matter how you convince yourself otherwise, and the symptoms can emulate PSTD which is caused by deep shock to the brain, and the chemical reaction of our survival instinct kicking in.
I would err on the side of caution, until such time as you feel confident that the person has, in fact, packed away all the baggage. And this can take quite some time. After a long marriage? At minimum, twelve months.
That's my two cents.
But as I said - everyone's circumstances differ.
My concern would be on the emotional front - not the geographical one. Break ups are hard, and despite thinking you can swan out the door and move on, the emotional upheaval, dents in self esteem, feeling unwanted/unloved, can often spur folk on to rush into the next relationship, for reassurance and comfort. This is not a good basis for a new relationship, and will seldom stand the test of time because the foundation was wrong from the start.
Any separation requires time to process the emotions that inevitably ensue, no matter how you convince yourself otherwise, and the symptoms can emulate PSTD which is caused by deep shock to the brain, and the chemical reaction of our survival instinct kicking in.
I would err on the side of caution, until such time as you feel confident that the person has, in fact, packed away all the baggage. And this can take quite some time. After a long marriage? At minimum, twelve months.
That's my two cents.
But as I said - everyone's circumstances differ.
Thanks a lot of food for thought there.
My friend is having some problems deciding!!!
mollybaby: Cos we don't want curdled cream
so if its not used it can curdle mjpd67: so if its not used it can curdle
And if you're a particularly bitter person, lemon curd could follow
mjpd67: no violence in my split just grew apart but the tension and silence was deafening
Hot tongue and cold shoulder !! lol
annaroach: Hot tongue and cold shoulder !! lol
no dead silence mjpd67: no dead silence
Sometimes folk don't know how to come back from an argument - a random hug can work wonders.
I hate silence. My father played that card when I was growing up, and to this day, don't do the silent treatment on me. I hate it.
henonpause: I find "yes, dear" works a treat.
No no, we will get the washing machine you said, because you know best, and then after the first wash, the torture begins.
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The only time there can be no bitterness at the ending of a relationship, is if both parties communicate, but more importantly, genuinely do not have any feelings of love towards the other left.