Relationship Problem Because Of A Pet ( Archived) (20)

Feb 7, 2015 2:02 PM CST Relationship Problem Because Of A Pet
rohaan
rohaanrohaanCoos Bay, Oregon USA229 Threads 10,460 Posts
I'll set the scene: A woman begins dating a guy she really likes, knowing he has a very bonded pet, a dog (lets say a Sheltie) he has had for three years or more. The dog just doesn't like her, and she is so annoyed after awhile, she gives the guy an ultimatum. (By this time it is clear neither her nor the dog are going to budge in their attitude/personality). What do you think is fair in this situation? (:Let's assume he likes her, but does not have any intention of getting rid of his dog).
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Feb 7, 2015 8:48 PM CST Relationship Problem Because Of A Pet
Friskyone
FriskyoneFriskyoneSanta Fe, New Mexico USA271 Threads 26 Polls 4,631 Posts
In response to: I'll set the scene: A woman begins dating a guy she really likes, knowing he has a very bonded pet, a dog (lets say a Sheltie) he has had for three years or more. The dog just doesn't like her, and she is so annoyed after awhile, she gives the guy an ultimatum. (By this time it is clear neither her nor the dog are going to budge in their attitude/personality). What do you think is fair in this situation? (:Let's assume he likes her, but does not have any intention of getting rid of his dog).


Pets are our loyal, loving companions who love us unconditionally. They have feelings and emotions just like humans. Some say that animals can sense the good and bad. I would not ever give up my pet for a man. I could never turn my back on him/her.cats meow
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Feb 7, 2015 8:51 PM CST Relationship Problem Because Of A Pet
secretagent09
secretagent09secretagent09New Jersey Girl in, North Carolina USA198 Threads 4 Polls 7,223 Posts
Friskyone: Pets are our loyal, loving companions who love us unconditionally. They have feelings and emotions just like humans. Some say that animals can sense the good and bad. I would not ever give up my pet for a man. I could never turn my back on him/her.



Hey Frisky wave thumbs up
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Feb 7, 2015 8:52 PM CST Relationship Problem Because Of A Pet
MrBenjaminWright
MrBenjaminWrightMrBenjaminWrightCadillac, Michigan USA10 Threads 89 Posts
Friskyone: Pets are our loyal, loving companions who love us unconditionally. They have feelings and emotions just like humans. Some say that animals can sense the good and bad. I would not ever give up my pet for a man. I could never turn my back on him/her.


I have a cat, so if a woman gave me an ultimatum; I would give her one back. lol
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Feb 7, 2015 9:04 PM CST Relationship Problem Because Of A Pet
singhi
singhisinghiHavelock north, Hawke's Bay New Zealand10 Posts
As far as i am concerned if a woman is firmly attached to a pet she does not need me in any way whatsoever.
My personal "classification" is that once a woman gets herself a pet, she has given up trying to get a relationship with another human. rolling on the floor laughing
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Feb 7, 2015 9:09 PM CST Relationship Problem Because Of A Pet
Friskyone
FriskyoneFriskyoneSanta Fe, New Mexico USA271 Threads 26 Polls 4,631 Posts
secretagent09: Hey Frisky


wave Hey girl, it's good to see you!hug
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Feb 7, 2015 9:10 PM CST Relationship Problem Because Of A Pet
Friskyone
FriskyoneFriskyoneSanta Fe, New Mexico USA271 Threads 26 Polls 4,631 Posts
singhi: As far as i am concerned if a woman is firmly attached to a pet she does not need me in any way whatsoever.
My personal "classification" is that once a woman gets herself a pet, she has given up trying to get a relationship with another human.



Hmmm...sigh
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Feb 7, 2015 9:13 PM CST Relationship Problem Because Of A Pet
Ccincy
CcincyCcincyCincinnati, Ohio USA77 Threads 20,535 Posts
Obviously I'd quit dating that person.Not giving up my dog for anyone.
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Feb 7, 2015 9:18 PM CST Relationship Problem Because Of A Pet
rohaan: I'll set the scene: A woman begins dating a guy she really likes, knowing he has a very bonded pet, a dog (lets say a Sheltie) he has had for three years or more. The dog just doesn't like her, and she is so annoyed after awhile, she gives the guy an ultimatum. (By this time it is clear neither her nor the dog are going to budge in their attitude/personality). What do you think is fair in this situation? (:Let's assume he likes her, but does not have any intention of getting rid of his dog).


Dogs can tell if a person is good or bad. So he should get rid of the women.

If you get a pet, it is a commitment for the life of the animal. Pets are not just there for a little while and if you get bored of them get rid of them or if your girlfriend/boyfriend does not like them get rid of them. That is just wrong. I won't date someone who doesn't like my dogs. My dogs are here for life. dancing dog
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Feb 7, 2015 9:28 PM CST Relationship Problem Because Of A Pet
Nidifugous
NidifugousNidifugousYap, Federated States of Micronesia38 Threads 3 Polls 1,430 Posts
rohaan: I'll set the scene: A woman begins dating a guy she really likes, knowing he has a very bonded pet, a dog (lets say a Sheltie) he has had for three years or more. The dog just doesn't like her, and she is so annoyed after awhile, she gives the guy an ultimatum. (By this time it is clear neither her nor the dog are going to budge in their attitude/personality). What do you think is fair in this situation? (:Let's assume he likes her, but does not have any intention of getting rid of his dog).


Call Caesar laugh

This isn't a matter of fairness. It's perfectly okay for her to not want to be around a mean dog and it's perfectly alright for him to not want to give up the animal.

Upon recognizing that the dog doesn't like her, I would expect him to make the decision whether or not he wants to give up the pet of his own volition. If he accepts her being around a mean dog, then she should walk away because it shows that the pet is most important to him. The ultimatum was unnecessary. She should just walk away, imo.
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Feb 7, 2015 9:42 PM CST Relationship Problem Because Of A Pet
2intrigued
2intrigued2intriguedMississauga, Ontario Canada11 Threads 18,576 Posts
rohaan: I'll set the scene: A woman begins dating a guy she really likes, knowing he has a very bonded pet, a dog (lets say a Sheltie) he has had for three years or more. The dog just doesn't like her, and she is so annoyed after awhile, she gives the guy an ultimatum. (By this time it is clear neither her nor the dog are going to budge in their attitude/personality). What do you think is fair in this situation? (:Let's assume he likes her, but does not have any intention of getting rid of his dog).


Assuming he only likes her but obviously loves his dog, I would say the writing is already on the wall. Giving him an ultimatum is unfair on her part. Can you imagine giving up your pet for someone and the relationship happens to go sour? He's then left without her and the dog that was part of his life for three years. Sorry, but I think she either tries to gain the trust of the dog if her heart is in it, or move on.
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Feb 7, 2015 9:45 PM CST Relationship Problem Because Of A Pet
shymom83
shymom83shymom83tulsa, Oklahoma USA3 Posts
If they are giving ultimatums instead of compromising, the relationship probably wont work. She shouldn't ask him to get rid of his best friend for her, maybe put the dog in another room when she's over or she could try harder to win the dog over. If she cared enough, she'd never ask that.
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Feb 7, 2015 9:51 PM CST Relationship Problem Because Of A Pet
Friskyone
FriskyoneFriskyoneSanta Fe, New Mexico USA271 Threads 26 Polls 4,631 Posts
crazyblondeone: Dogs can tell if a person is good or bad. So he should get rid of the women.

If you get a pet, it is a commitment for the life of the animal. Pets are not just there for a little while and if you get bored of them get rid of them or if your girlfriend/boyfriend does not like them get rid of them. That is just wrong. I won't date someone who doesn't like my dogs. My dogs are here for life.
wave
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Feb 7, 2015 10:29 PM CST Relationship Problem Because Of A Pet
Draegoneer
DraegoneerDraegoneerPrudenville, Michigan USA1 Threads 1,367 Posts
rohaan: I'll set the scene: A woman begins dating a guy she really likes, knowing he has a very bonded pet, a dog (lets say a Sheltie) he has had for three years or more. The dog just doesn't like her, and she is so annoyed after awhile, she gives the guy an ultimatum. (By this time it is clear neither her nor the dog are going to budge in their attitude/personality). What do you think is fair in this situation? (:Let's assume he likes her, but does not have any intention of getting rid of his dog).



The dog was already there. Animals can tell,smell, and feel things people can't, on different levels. It doesn't mean the woman is bad. There just may be something that they will never get along well. They are generally pack animals with a pecking order. Jealousy is also a strong trait so it may feel threatened.

I would make accommodations for my pet and hope things smooth out. I would pay close attention to how the woman works with the situation. Don't ever try forcing an animal to like you but do be courteous and even include them when reasonably possible. If there's a good chance for suitable bonding, it will happen. It needs to happen naturally.

Once an ultimatum is placed out in the open; that's pretty much a no-brainer. Buh-bye..
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Feb 7, 2015 10:36 PM CST Relationship Problem Because Of A Pet
The dog is not mean, she is just asserting her place in the pack order.

Neither of the humans know how to be a proper pack. Even if they get rid of the dog, they're likely to have relationship issues because they're not behaviourally/emotionally self-, or other-aware enough to work anything out for themselves.
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Feb 7, 2015 10:37 PM CST Relationship Problem Because Of A Pet
2intrigued
2intrigued2intriguedMississauga, Ontario Canada11 Threads 18,576 Posts
Draegoneer: The dog was already there. Animals can tell,smell, and feel things people can't, on different levels. It doesn't mean the woman is bad. There just may be something that they will never get along well. They are generally pack animals with a pecking order. Jealousy is also a strong trait so it may feel threatened.

I would make accommodations for my pet and hope things smooth out. I would pay close attention to how the woman works with the situation. Don't ever try forcing an animal to like you but do be courteous and even include them when reasonably possible. If there's a good chance for suitable bonding, it will happen. It needs to happen naturally.

Once an ultimatum is placed out in the open; that's pretty much a no-brainer. Buh-bye..


Well said thumbs up thumbs up
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Feb 7, 2015 10:58 PM CST Relationship Problem Because Of A Pet
Draegoneer: The dog was already there. Animals can tell,smell, and feel things people can't, on different levels. It doesn't mean the woman is bad. There just may be something that they will never get along well. They are generally pack animals with a pecking order. Jealousy is also a strong trait so it may feel threatened.

I would make accommodations for my pet and hope things smooth out. I would pay close attention to how the woman works with the situation. Don't ever try forcing an animal to like you but do be courteous and even include them when reasonably possible. If there's a good chance for suitable bonding, it will happen. It needs to happen naturally.

Once an ultimatum is placed out in the open; that's pretty much a no-brainer. Buh-bye..

Including the dog is human psychology based upon ideas of fairness. Dogs don't get fair. It'll just confuse the dog, giving her the impression she's got a chance of being in a better pack position which she'll keep fighting for, as she's doing now.

They need to ostracise her (send her to bed and make her stay there) until she learns her place at the bottom of the heap (and do this consistently every time she pushes her luck). They need to do simple things, for example, always eat first and feed her afterwards so she understands her place in the pack. She'll be a happier and more secure doggy knowing where she stands.
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Feb 7, 2015 11:19 PM CST Relationship Problem Because Of A Pet
epirb
epirbepirbDannevirke, Hawke's Bay New Zealand32 Threads 2 Polls 7,379 Posts
mumbling mumbling wish I had paid attention to my sheep dogs 30 years ago , bless them , smarter things than some people , dogs .
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Feb 8, 2015 12:22 AM CST Relationship Problem Because Of A Pet
Draegoneer
DraegoneerDraegoneerPrudenville, Michigan USA1 Threads 1,367 Posts
jac_the_gripper: Including the dog is human psychology based upon ideas of fairness. Dogs don't get fair. It'll just confuse the dog, giving her the impression she's got a chance of being in a better pack position which she'll keep fighting for, as she's doing now.

They need to ostracise her (send her to bed and make her stay there) until she learns her place at the bottom of the heap (and do this consistently every time she pushes her luck). They need to do simple things, for example, always eat first and feed her afterwards so she understands her place in the pack. She'll be a happier and more secure doggy knowing where she stands.


It's partial human psychology that is required for a family pet. Even in the wild, an animal would not be ostracized unless it's on it's death bed and/or becoming more of a burden or trouble, than an asset. It would be put in it's proper place in the order of things. It would be made to sit back until it's time and turn. It would also be included for play time and such. A different tactic and patience, is required since the pet was there first, in a human environment.

You do not want to risk a resentful animal in the home. That resentment, if it grows, can eventually turn on the owner. That is why you would make accommodations and still try to include the pet as reasonable. A pet does become more "humanized" and it is a different process when expanding the home. Owning a pet isn't all about command and control alone.
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Feb 10, 2015 12:07 PM CST Relationship Problem Because Of A Pet
rohaan
rohaanrohaanCoos Bay, Oregon USA229 Threads 10,460 Posts
Draegoneer: It's partial human psychology that is required for a family pet. Even in the wild, an animal would not be ostracized unless it's on it's death bed and/or becoming more of a burden or trouble, than an asset. It would be put in it's proper place in the order of things. It would be made to sit back until it's time and turn. It would also be included for play time and such. A different tactic and patience, is required since the pet was there first, in a human environment.

You do not want to risk a resentful animal in the home. That resentment, if it grows, can eventually turn on the owner. That is why you would make accommodations and still try to include the pet as reasonable. A pet does become more "humanized" and it is a different process when expanding the home. Owning a pet isn't all about command and control alone.
thumbs up thanks for this post.
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