This will be about stuff that is PC, not PC, ad infinim, so if it's not to your interest........ (37)
I think you should listen to your friend, apologise that you said something she disliked and ask her if she would describe her thoughts and feelings so you may understand from her perspective.
It's as simple as that, Ro.
It's as simple as that, Ro.
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jac_the_gripper: I think you should listen to your friend, apologise that you said something she disliked and ask her if she would describe her thoughts and feelings so you may understand from her perspective.
It's as simple as that, Ro.
It wasn't as simple as that. We did talk, she really couldn't, and admitted so, give a reason. She also later said that she, too, referred to some of her friends as "folks", from time to time. I believe we both walked away from the situation understanding. (I do get what you are saying. For instance, I do not like to be called "Captain", or "Pal", even though the person doing it may just be using it in what they believe to be a kindly or "cozy" way. My thoughts for the thread were that I believe we are all getting just a little too sensitive about everything. But I do appreciate your comment.It's as simple as that, Ro.
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rohaan: It wasn't as simple as that. We did talk, she really couldn't, and admitted so, give a reason. She also later said that she, too, referred to some of her friends as "folks", from time to time. I believe we both walked away from the situation understanding. (I do get what you are saying. For instance, I do not like to be called "Captain", or "Pal", even though the person doing it may just be using it in what they believe to be a kindly or "cozy" way. My thoughts for the thread were that I believe we are all getting just a little too sensitive about everything. But I do appreciate your comment.
Maybe she might need time to think to be able to explain why it jarred with her.
When you've experienced a lifetime of insidious (or not so subtle, but still commonly accepted and thwarting) prejudice, it can difficult to unravel and lay bare for others to see.
The important thing is to try and remain open to that conversation...and that is what political correctness is largely about - communication and playing fair.
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jac_the_gripper: Usually the people who don't think something is a problem are the ones who are getting the better deal, Twaz.
I cannot abide the L-word (lady). It grates on me like fingernails down a chalkboard (we had green ones in school).
Other may dsisagree, but would it be respectful to persist in using the L-word at me even though I have requested you not to? No. Would it be okay to ask me how I prefered to be addressed and why? Of course, my friend.
I cannot abide the L-word (lady). It grates on me like fingernails down a chalkboard (we had green ones in school).
Other may d
Blimey, I'm tired.
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rohaan: I am just wondering what other members may think about the dynamics of communication and the public atmosphere surrounding the complexities of , well, just about everything. Are native American logos and team names REALLY all that bad? Are we going to have to walk on eggshells about every little thing--for instance, a few years back I was talking to a friend, good friend, at that about this and that, and the Holidays were coming up. We had always been tight, got along famously for decades. At one point, I asked, "What are you folks going to do over Christmas"? (She is another race than myself). Well! Did that EVER tip the scale, and she replied, "Just what do ya mean, us FOLKS??" I still, to this day, cannot see anything wrong with having said that. While I do believe we must be respectful, and certainly not call names, etc... I do think problems are created, at times, when there really isn't one. What do you folks think?
You didn't say so I'm assuming that she is black. Another thing that black people don't like is to say to them "You People". They hate that and I understand why. It categorizes them into a group of people different then yourself. Saying "you folks" is supposed to be friendly but again, she may have thought you were categorizing her into something she didn't like.
If I said it and she objected I might have said in a nonchalant way that I'm sorry but I wouldn't let it go at that. I would try to explain to her that I use the term "you folks" when I speak to a group of people. I do walk on eggs when talking to black people because of all the "situations" that have gone on in the past two years. There is the feeling that some of them want to start an argument so it's easier to cater to them to keep peace. On the other hand, there is a black lady in by building and we laugh and joke all the time. Test the waters before you use colloquial language.
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jac_the_gripper: Usually the people who don't think something is a problem are the ones who are getting the better deal, Twaz.
I cannot abide the L-word (lady). It grates on me like fingernails down a chalkboard (we had green ones in school).
Other may dsisagree, but would it be respectful to persist in using the L-word at me even though I have requested you not to? No. Would it be okay how I prefered to be addressed and why? Of course, my friend.
Youre such a loveable lady Jac......OOOPSS sorry couldnt resist....But you are a sweetiepie..i think.I cannot abide the L-word (lady). It grates on me like fingernails down a chalkboard (we had green ones in school).
Other may dsisagree, but would it be respectful to persist in using the L-word at me even though I have requested you not to? No. Would it be okay how I prefered to be addressed and why? Of course, my friend.
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twazzle70: Youre such a loveable lady Jac......OOOPSS sorry couldnt resist....But you are a sweetiepie..i think.
Okay, that fluffy, cutesy bear emote was just one step too far, Twaz.
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jac_the_gripper: Okay, that fluffy, cutesy bear emote was just one step too far, Twaz.
Jac.
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rohaan: I am just wondering what other members may think about the dynamics of communication and the public atmosphere surrounding the complexities of , well, just about everything. Are native American logos and team names REALLY all that bad? Are we going to have to walk on eggshells about every little thing--for instance, a few years back I was talking to a friend, good friend, at that about this and that, and the Holidays were coming up. We had always been tight, got along famously for decades. At one point, I asked, "What are you folks going to do over Christmas"? (She is another race than myself). Well! Did that EVER tip the scale, and she replied, "Just what do ya mean, us FOLKS??" I still, to this day, cannot see anything wrong with having said that. While I do believe we must be respectful, and certainly not call names, etc... I do think problems are created, at times, when there really isn't one. What do you folks think?
I think sometimes the race card is pulled when it's convenient.
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rohaan: I am just wondering what other members may think about the dynamics of communication and the public atmosphere surrounding the complexities of , well, just about everything. Are native American logos and team names REALLY all that bad? Are we going to have to walk on eggshells about every little thing--for instance, a few years back I was talking to a friend, good friend, at that about this and that, and the Holidays were coming up. We had always been tight, got along famously for decades. At one point, I asked, "What are you folks going to do over Christmas"? (She is another race than myself). Well! Did that EVER tip the scale, and she replied, "Just what do ya mean, us FOLKS??" I still, to this day, cannot see anything wrong with having said that. While I do believe we must be respectful, and certainly not call names, etc... I do think problems are created, at times, when there really isn't one. What do you folks think?
Folks ? Maybe she thought you said, "You F-u-c-k-s". 
... 
Hey! Merry Christmas! To all the f-u-c-k-s in the world!------ This thread is Archived ------
CuddlingSoul: Folks ? Maybe she thought you said, "You F-u-c-k-s". ... Hey! Merry Christmas! To all the f-u-c-k-s in the world!
Many thanks
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CuddlingSoul: Folks ? Maybe she thought you said, "You F-u-c-k-s". ... Hey! Merry Christmas! To all the f-u-c-k-s in the world!
Nice greetings
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CuddlingSoul: Folks ? Maybe she thought you said, "You F-u-c-k-s". ... Hey! Merry Christmas! To all the f-u-c-k-s in the world!
Dont worry youll still be able to keep your flag in the basement over your bed.
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rohaan: I read and re-read this, and tried to find a way to agree with it, but cannot, 100%. When a thread is started, it tacitly invites all comments and ideas, whether other members find those opinions germane to the thread. Because there have been staged home intrusions to collect insurance money, that is pertinent to a column discussing home intrusion, and so on....
I don't agree either, threads evolve as people make posts, and aspects that some may never have thought of are introduced, making for a more rounded discussion. If one wants to center their attention to one minute detail, thus restricting the flow of conversation, perhaps they should stick to research papers.
Even worse when it's some esoteric ideal that bears no resemblance to anything found in the real world, let alone being applicable, it should be treated as such. They say "shoot for the moon", but when you're trying to pin point a hit on a yet to be discovered planet in another galaxy, maybe the slingshot should be taken away.
As for PC, I'm not, although I can understand why some people might be offended by certain terminology. The thing is, a lot of people are looking for reasons to be offended, and will twist whatever you say in their own minds in order to justify their anger. I don't see you doing anything wrong in that instance, it seems that it's her issue.
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All I'm going to say on this subject is that PC drives me crazy.
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minnieme2: I didn't know about the blackboard and whiteboard thing. That's a bit ridiculous really. You might as well say a blue bicycle is a red bicycle. What if you want to say to someone that they good in their black dress/suit/top and that black suits them?
People can totally over react I think and it's sad to have to watch every little thing you say when you obviously don't mean anything bad by it. Rohaan's friend over reacted I think as she should have known he meant nothing by it and was being friendly but at least she realised it afterwards.
It's nice to be referred to as a lady but totally respect if another female doesn't want to be called one and wouldn't call her that as long as I knew about it, but I think most women do like being called a lady. It's meant as a compliment.
However addressing someone as "hey lady" might raise an cross eyebrow or two, depending on the tone behind it. And it would be ok (if a little annoying when in the middle of a convo!) for a small child that might tug at you and say "lady, lady, lady!" They're just trying to get your attention.
That's my tuppence worth.
Some good points here..People can totally over react I think and it's sad to have to watch every little thing you say when you obviously don't mean anything bad by it. Rohaan's friend over reacted I think as she should have known he meant nothing by it and was being friendly but at least she realised it afterwards.
It's nice to be referred to as a lady but totally respect if another female doesn't want to be called one and wouldn't call her that as long as I knew about it, but I think most women do like being called a lady. It's meant as a compliment.
However addressing someone as "hey lady" might raise an cross eyebrow or two, depending on the tone behind it. And it would be ok (if a little annoying when in the middle of a convo!) for a small child that might tug at you and say "lady, lady, lady!" They're just trying to get your attention.
That's my tuppence worth.
A while ago i was in a shop buying school trousers for my son,i was in a bit of a rush,so rather than go to the racks and browse dozens of pairs for size etc,i simply asked the shop assistant for black school trousers in the relevant size and style. Of course the shop assistant just happened to be black. She glanced and gave me a coy look and a smile,as if to say "you just used the word black"...Didnt bother her one iota nor did it bother me,and why should it ? But the fact remains that both of us knew without saying anything that the mere mention of the word can and does still cause problems. In my previous post i mentioned the "blackboard/whiteboard" scenario,during my schooling it was always a blackboard,,never once did i witness any incident where this was used in a derogatory manner. (though clearly it has been an issue somewhere along the line) It was a board for the teachers to use in educating the pupils...Simple as that... I think the P.C brigade causes more problems than it solves personally,highlighting aspects of life which were previously innocent and werent given a second thought. The woman that the O.P refers to over reacted in my opinion,,clearly no malice was intended. We as individuals are responsible for what we say and do,sometimes a little tact must be employed in our words,but this should work both ways,sometimes people do say the wrong thing unintentionally,so this should also be taken into account. Those that are intelligent enough to recognise where there may be a potential "hot potatoe" in a remark/comment,,should also be intelligent enough to work out if there was genuine malice or intent behind said comment...I.M.O..
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twazzle70: Youre such a loveable lady Jac......OOOPSS sorry couldnt resist....But you are a sweetiepie..i think.
Not really one to quote my own posts,,,however...The term "lady". This is a term i have used all my adult life when referring to a woman,this is only good manners coming into play on my part. More often than not (if ever) has this caused a problem,but one should always be prepared if a problem does arise. The lovely Jac stated in a post (not aimed at anyone) that this is a term she dislikes,,nothing wrong with that at all,total respect for another persons views,,based on this i would now not refer to Jac in this manner..Simple..... I did refer to Jac in this way jokingly,,to which she saw the humour in and replied appropriately...A sort of mutual understanding which when applied and executed in the right manner by those involved can be very helpful in communicating and realising our differences...possibly.
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rohaan: I am just wondering what other members may think about the dynamics of communication and the public atmosphere surrounding the complexities of , well, just about everything. Are native American logos and team names REALLY all that bad? Are we going to have to walk on eggshells about every little thing--for instance, a few years back I was talking to a friend, good friend, at that about this and that, and the Holidays were coming up. We had always been tight, got along famously for decades. At one point, I asked, "What are you folks going to do over Christmas"? (She is another race than myself). Well! Did that EVER tip the scale, and she replied, "Just what do ya mean, us FOLKS??" I still, to this day, cannot see anything wrong with having said that. While I do believe we must be respectful, and certainly not call names, etc... I do think problems are created, at times, when there really isn't one. What do you folks think?
Oooooooooooooh I am what's the word ...Offended yes offended to the very core 
But seriously , I get your point .
Over on FB I read a post where in the U.S. a certain tv network is withdrawing The Dukes Of Hazzard reruns from it's schedule over the Confederate saga . 'The Dukes' a series I watched as a kid and still do on digital at home . A good old fashioned family show that wasn't ever about causing offence to anyone . The Lunatics are running the asylum me thinks
Good , no great topic Rohaan
P.S non alcoholic is available so as not to cause offence
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Brannigan70: Oooooooooooooh I am what's the word ...Offended yes offended to the very core
But seriously , I get your point .
Over on FB I read a post where in the U.S. a certain tv network is withdrawing The Dukes Of Hazzard reruns from it's schedule over the Confederate saga . 'The Dukes' a series I watched as a kid and still do on digital at home . A good old fashioned family show that wasn't ever about causing offence to anyone . The Lunatics are running the asylum me thinks
Good , no great topic Rohaan
P.S non alcoholic is available so as not to cause offence
But seriously , I get your point .
Over on FB I read a post where in the U.S. a certain tv network is withdrawing The Dukes Of Hazzard reruns from it's schedule over the Confederate saga . 'The Dukes' a series I watched as a kid and still do on digital at home . A good old fashioned family show that wasn't ever about causing offence to anyone . The Lunatics are running the asylum me thinks
Good , no great topic Rohaan
P.S non alcoholic is available so as not to cause offence
Bran,My son when he was younger used to watch the reruns of the Duke of Hazzard and he loved it.
I also read about it on FB.I thought and still do think that it was a total nonsense thing for that particular network to do that.
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I am just wondering what other members may think about the dynamics of communication and the public atmosphere surrounding the complexities of , well, just about everything. Are native American logos and team names REALLY all that bad? Are we going to have to walk on eggshells about every little thing--for instance, a few years back I was talking to a friend, good friend, at that about this and that, and the Holidays were coming up. We had always been tight, got along famously for decades. At one point, I asked, "What are you folks going to do over Christmas"? (She is another race than myself). Well! Did that EVER tip the scale, and she replied, "Just what do ya mean, us FOLKS??" I still, to this day, cannot see anything wrong with having said that. While I do believe we must be respectful, and certainly not call names, etc... I do think problems are created, at times, when there really isn't one. What do you folks think?