control (101)
lindsyjones: How much control can contribute in a success of a relationship?
Is it an unavoidable factor? Or is there a need at all?
Is it an unavoidable factor? Or is there a need at all?
What type of control are we talking about Lindsey?
Self control, control of others?
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What do you mean by control? Someone who is controling what?
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Laura Branigan would have known what to do.
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Ocee102: What type of control are we talking about Lindsey?Self control, control of others?
More like control in the decision making of any activities that takes place in the relationship.
I have had a relationship long time ago where no matter how I felt or thought of the situation, it all goes down to the fact that he (ex) would have to approve of it.
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Ccincy: What do you mean by control? Someone who is controling what?
More of the direction and or decision making of any plans or events, or simple as where to go eat or what car to buy...etc..
Doesn't matter what really, the point is that there is so much weight put on by the one in control regardless of the feelings and or reasons of the other person.
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Foxworth: Laura Branigan would have known what to do.
I think I can definitely qoute one of the reasons why Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise had to go separate ways was because of his controlling mechanics on their marriage..That kind of thing.
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lindsyjones: More of the direction and or decision making of any plans or events, or simple as where to go eat or what car to buy...etc..
Doesn't matter what really, the point is that there is so much weight put on by the one in control regardless of the feelings and or reasons of the other person.
Doesn't matter what really, the point is that there is so much weight put on by the one in control regardless of the feelings and or reasons of the other person.
I wouldn't wish to subject myself to a relationship such as that to where I wasn't allowed to have some input too.
I would be a goner for sure.
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Ccincy: I wouldn't wish to subject myself to a relationship such as that to where I wasn't allowed to have some input too.I would be a goner for sure.
Of course, CC. I wouldn't want it either, but it seems there are so many relationship out there where one is enjoying to be controlled by the other one.
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Ccincy: I wouldn't wish to subject myself to a relationship such as that to where I wasn't allowed to have some input too.I would be a goner for sure.
Of course, CC. I wouldn't want it either, but it seems there are so many relationship out there where one is enjoying to be controlled by the other one.
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lindsyjones: More like control in the decision making of any activities that takes place in the relationship.
I have had a relationship long time ago where no matter how I felt or thought of the situation, it all goes down to the fact that he (ex) would have to approve of it.
I have had a relationship long time ago where no matter how I felt or thought of the situation, it all goes down to the fact that he (ex) would have to approve of it.
And that didn't last long at all. Just short of 24 months, and I was a goner.
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lindsyjones: Of course, CC. I wouldn't want it either, but it seems there are so many relationship out there where one is enjoying to be controlled by the other one.
Well they have no self-esteem and their partner beat them down.
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lindsyjones: More of the direction and or decision making of any plans or events, or simple as where to go eat or what car to buy...etc..
Doesn't matter what really, the point is that there is so much weight put on by the one in control regardless of the feelings and or reasons of the other person.
Doesn't matter what really, the point is that there is so much weight put on by the one in control regardless of the feelings and or reasons of the other person.
I think I would like to have a say in what car you were going to buy. It should be a joint decision. I would also ask for your input in to what car I would buy.
Same goes for going out to eat. Men tend to like less exotic food and women often will try more exotic food.
One person shouldn't always be in control but if you suggest things first then it appears that the person is in control if they give an opinion on that as they have the last say because they are responding to you.
Maybe your judgement isn't always great and your ex wanted to veto your decisions.
You stayed for just under 24 months - that is a long time.
I wouldn't be rushing to judgement to think you were being controlled without more information or hearing the other side. I don't trust your judgement on what a long time is as just under 24 months if a controlling relationship would seem like a long time.
No offence, just saying your point of view might be subjective.
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warmy67: I think I would like to have a say in what car you were going to buy. It should be a joint decision. I would also ask for your input in to what car I would buy.
Same goes for going out to eat. Men tend to like less exotic food and women often will try more exotic food.
One person shouldn't always be in control but if you suggest things first then it appears that the person is in control if they give an opinion on that as they have the last say because they are responding to you.
Maybe your judgement isn't always great and your ex wanted to veto your decisions.
You stayed for just under 24 months - that is a long time.
I wouldn't be rushing to judgement to think you were being controlled without more information or hearing the other side. I don't trust your judgement on what a long time is as just under 24 months if a controlling relationship would seem like a long time.
No offence, just saying your point of view might be subjective.
Same goes for going out to eat. Men tend to like less exotic food and women often will try more exotic food.
One person shouldn't always be in control but if you suggest things first then it appears that the person is in control if they give an opinion on that as they have the last say because they are responding to you.
Maybe your judgement isn't always great and your ex wanted to veto your decisions.
You stayed for just under 24 months - that is a long time.
I wouldn't be rushing to judgement to think you were being controlled without more information or hearing the other side. I don't trust your judgement on what a long time is as just under 24 months if a controlling relationship would seem like a long time.
No offence, just saying your point of view might be subjective.
Personally, my idea of a good and healthy relationship is to be able to sit down and share all the benefits and costs of what endeavor or activity we should take.
Now when it comes to knowing how controlling a person is? 24 months to me is way too long.\
Anyways I am glad I left the relationship because later on he wasn't being with anybody that lasted longer than that.
While I went on to being married for 30 years with a man that is so giving and full of compassion. Although that marriage seemed to have withstood all weathers in a relationship, I failed when we lost all our houses and assets in the economic crash...
But having said that I have no regrets whatsoever as to what happened in my life.
That is all.
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Ccincy: Well they have no self-esteem and their partner beat them down.
Yep CC. It is sad but I believe there is a strength generated by those that are in control over those that loved to be controlled.
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lindsyjones: Yep CC. It is sad but I believe there is a strength generated by those that are in control over those that loved to be controlled.
Quite frankly there is beauty in being in charged. But be considerate and give weight to the reasons and logic of the other one. But if a person controls just for the sake of exercising dominance, I believe it can cripple the success of the any happy and successful relationship.
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While I went on to being married for 30 years with a man that is so giving and full of compassion. Although that marriage seemed to have withstood all weathers in a relationship, I failed when we lost all our houses and assets in the economic crash...
I don't know what you mean by "I failed..." but I think your Government, Regulatory system and banks failed the people of the US. Being human it is hard to cope with a high level of financial stress. Go easy on yourself. Few people can cope with huge things like high financial stress.
Sounds like you eventually met someone really lovely. If someone really lovely loved you for 30 years it's a very good reflection on you.
I don't know what you mean by "I failed..." but I think your Government, Regulatory system and banks failed the people of the US. Being human it is hard to cope with a high level of financial stress. Go easy on yourself. Few people can cope with huge things like high financial stress.
Sounds like you eventually met someone really lovely. If someone really lovely loved you for 30 years it's a very good reflection on you.
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lindsyjones: Quite frankly there is beauty in being in charged. But be considerate and give weight to the reasons and logic of the other one. But if a person controls just for the sake of exercising dominance, I believe it can cripple the success of the any happy and successful relationship.
lindsy I also would classify a controlling person in a relationship a bully as well.
One sided relationships do last too awfully either.
I had a former sister-in-law who was controlling and manipulative too and ex hubby told me that was why he had divorced her.
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warmy67: While I went on to being married for 30 years with a man that is so giving and full of compassion. Although that marriage seemed to have withstood all weathers in a relationship, I failed when we lost all our houses and assets in the economic crash...
I don't know what you mean by "I failed..." but I think your Government, Regulatory system and banks failed the people of the US. Being human it is hard to cope with a high level of financial stress. Go easy on yourself. Few people can cope with huge things like high financial stress.
Sounds like you eventually met someone really lovely. If someone really lovely loved you for 30 years it's a very good reflection on you.
I don't know what you mean by "I failed..." but I think your Government, Regulatory system and banks failed the people of the US. Being human it is hard to cope with a high level of financial stress. Go easy on yourself. Few people can cope with huge things like high financial stress.
Sounds like you eventually met someone really lovely. If someone really lovely loved you for 30 years it's a very good reflection on you.
Thanks and as a matter of fact he's still trying to won my heart again and our 4 lovely children tell me so, but I have so much fun being single again and with so much freedom.
My children are all on their own and my youngest is 23 years old.
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lindsy I also would classify a controlling person in a relationship a bully as well.
One sided relationships do last too awfully either.
I had a former sister-in-law who was controlling and manipulative too and ex hubby told me that was why he had divorced her.[/quote
INDEED.
One sided relationships do last too awfully either.
I had a former sister-in-law who was controlling and manipulative too and ex hubby told me that was why he had divorced her.[/quote
INDEED.
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Created: Jul 2015
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Is it an unavoidable factor? Or is there a need at all?