want honest answers, but no sarcasm, pu--leeze-- (35)
I imagine they just want their privacy, Ro.
Stepping over the boundaries of etiquette would be pushing the issue, or behaving any differently towards them because of it.
Stepping over the boundaries of etiquette would be pushing the issue, or behaving any differently towards them because of it.
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Hi Rohaan,I don't think you have crossed the etiquette line.
I think it was wrong on the neighbors part not to get back with you.
I don't think I would ask them for any favors after what took place.
I think it was wrong on the neighbors part not to get back with you.
I don't think I would ask them for any favors after what took place.
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Ccincy: Hi Rohaan,I don't think you have crossed the etiquette line.I think it was wrong on the neighbors part not to get back with you.
I don't think I would ask them for any favors after what took place.
Thanks CC. I had already decided not to. I believe I make every effort to be a good and courteous friend and neighbor. I appreciate your kindness toward me today. I don't think I would ask them for any favors after what took place.
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rohaan: Thanks CC. I had already decided not to. I believe I make every effort to be a good and courteous friend and neighbor. I appreciate your kindness toward me today.
Rohaan Your situation that you have described here is one of the many reasons of why I don't neighbor much anymore.
I am civil and that is all I just find I am better off to keep my distance.
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Ccincy: Rohaan Your situation that you have described here is one of the many reasons of why I don't neighbor much anymore.
I am civil and that is all I just find I am better off to keep my distance.
I understand. The world has changed so, since I was a small-town kid. It sure makes the good people in my life so much more endearing and lovable. I am civil and that is all I just find I am better off to keep my distance.
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rohaan: Hi everyone. It's me again, with another galactic question:
I live in a building with a shared Laundromat. Our washer was on the fritz, and it is a major chore for me to haul laundry to even the closest coin op, (there are so few of those these days). My next-door neighbors and I have been what I would consider really good friends for about 8 years. We've done a few things together, and they are always very interested to know how I'm doing, etc...I very rarely, if ever, ask them for anything. The wife has, from time to time, called me to tell me she has a hot meal ready to go--we have had outdoor picnics, too, but never at one another's house. Well, I asked the husband a few days ago, when our washer was on the fritz, if I could run a load through, but would dry at home. I offered to pay the rate ($3.00). He hesitated, and then said he would have to talk to his wife about it. I never heard back, and it seems they are avoiding me. Now, the question--did I cross some etiquette line or something, for having asked to use their washer? I will respect what you guys say. I have to admit, I do not think in terms of whether these kinds of things are appropriate or not. When I was growing up with my grandparents, it seemed that these kinds of neighbor-to-neighbor niceties were not ever an issue. Your thoughts?
I live in a building with a shared Laundromat. Our washer was on the fritz, and it is a major chore for me to haul laundry to even the closest coin op, (there are so few of those these days). My next-door neighbors and I have been what I would consider really good friends for about 8 years. We've done a few things together, and they are always very interested to know how I'm doing, etc...I very rarely, if ever, ask them for anything. The wife has, from time to time, called me to tell me she has a hot meal ready to go--we have had outdoor picnics, too, but never at one another's house. Well, I asked the husband a few days ago, when our washer was on the fritz, if I could run a load through, but would dry at home. I offered to pay the rate ($3.00). He hesitated, and then said he would have to talk to his wife about it. I never heard back, and it seems they are avoiding me. Now, the question--did I cross some etiquette line or something, for having asked to use their washer? I will respect what you guys say. I have to admit, I do not think in terms of whether these kinds of things are appropriate or not. When I was growing up with my grandparents, it seemed that these kinds of neighbor-to-neighbor niceties were not ever an issue. Your thoughts?
They've got corpses in the floorboards! Not really. The world is full of petty, finicky, asocial weirdos(are they per chance middle class?)who are overly precious about themselves or their stuff or their privacy. They can't all be hiding corpses under the floorboards.
The only other explanation is that they just don't like you, Rohaan, and I cannot bring myself to entertain such a thought.
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Obstinance_Works: They've got corpses in the floorboards! Not really. The world is full of petty, finicky, asocial weirdos(are they per chance middle class?)who are overly precious about themselves or their stuff or their privacy. They can't all be hiding corpses under the floorboards.
The only other explanation is that they just don't like you, Rohaan, and I cannot bring myself to entertain such a thought.
The only other explanation is that they just don't like you, Rohaan, and I cannot bring myself to entertain such a thought.
Refusing your neighbour temporary use of your washing machine is something a commoner or a classy person would rarely do(unless they're hiding something or hate you). It's got middle written all over it.
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Obstinance_Works: Refusing your neighbour temporary use of your washing machine is something a commoner or a classy person would rarely do(unless they're hiding something or hate you). It's got middle written all over it.
I get it OW--I get it!! Do you think I take the short bus??
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rohaan: Hi everyone. It's me again, with another galactic question:
I live in a building with a shared Laundromat. Our washer was on the fritz, and it is a major chore for me to haul laundry to even the closest coin op, (there are so few of those these days). My next-door neighbors and I have been what I would consider really good friends for about 8 years. We've done a few things together, and they are always very interested to know how I'm doing, etc...I very rarely, if ever, ask them for anything. The wife has, from time to time, called me to tell me she has a hot meal ready to go--we have had outdoor picnics, too, but never at one another's house. Well, I asked the husband a few days ago, when our washer was on the fritz, if I could run a load through, but would dry at home. I offered to pay the rate ($3.00). He hesitated, and then said he would have to talk to his wife about it. I never heard back, and it seems they are avoiding me. Now, the question--did I cross some etiquette line or something, for having asked to use their washer? I will respect what you guys say. I have to admit, I do not think in terms of whether these kinds of things are appropriate or not. When I was growing up with my grandparents, it seemed that these kinds of neighbor-to-neighbor niceties were not ever an issue. Your thoughts?
I live in a building with a shared Laundromat. Our washer was on the fritz, and it is a major chore for me to haul laundry to even the closest coin op, (there are so few of those these days). My next-door neighbors and I have been what I would consider really good friends for about 8 years. We've done a few things together, and they are always very interested to know how I'm doing, etc...I very rarely, if ever, ask them for anything. The wife has, from time to time, called me to tell me she has a hot meal ready to go--we have had outdoor picnics, too, but never at one another's house. Well, I asked the husband a few days ago, when our washer was on the fritz, if I could run a load through, but would dry at home. I offered to pay the rate ($3.00). He hesitated, and then said he would have to talk to his wife about it. I never heard back, and it seems they are avoiding me. Now, the question--did I cross some etiquette line or something, for having asked to use their washer? I will respect what you guys say. I have to admit, I do not think in terms of whether these kinds of things are appropriate or not. When I was growing up with my grandparents, it seemed that these kinds of neighbor-to-neighbor niceties were not ever an issue. Your thoughts?
I live in an apartment complex. The tenants here are concerned about the clothes that are put into a washing machine that is shared with other tenants so they spray the inside of the washer with Lysol. Your neighbor might be concerned if you are as clean as you appear to be.
Also, it's not a good idea to ask favors of people you get along with, especially a neighbor. Before I moved here I lived in a 3-family house. One of the neighbors has a sick wife who was up in years. He was old and didn't drive and one time he asked me if I would take him to the hospital so he could visit her. I said sure, let's go. After that he continuously asked me for rides to the hospital. I didn't like it that he depended on me so I made arrangements with the hospital for the local bus to pick him up at the corner.
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What have you done to upset them. No normal person would refuse a neighbourly act like that.
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hoolet: What have you done to upset them. No normal person would refuse a neighbourly act like that.
Nothing. Everything has always been hunky dorrie, and they are certainly the kind of people who would have said something. No, I think it's maybe just a familial thing, or like one member mentioned,the Lyson thing. It is nothing I have "done"--they are always quite cordial and have always told me they love me as their neighbor. It could be a cultural thing, as well. Who knows. But to respond to your comment, there is nothing negative between us.------ This thread is Archived ------
rohaan: Hi everyone. It's me again, with another galactic question:
I live in a building with a shared Laundromat. Our washer was on the fritz, and it is a major chore for me to haul laundry to even the closest coin op, (there are so few of those these days). My next-door neighbors and I have been what I would consider really good friends for about 8 years. We've done a few things together, and they are always very interested to know how I'm doing, etc...I very rarely, if ever, ask them for anything. The wife has, from time to time, called me to tell me she has a hot meal ready to go--we have had outdoor picnics, too, but never at one another's house. Well, I asked the husband a few days ago, when our washer was on the fritz, if I could run a load through, but would dry at home. I offered to pay the rate ($3.00). He hesitated, and then said he would have to talk to his wife about it. I never heard back, and it seems they are avoiding me. Now, the question--did I cross some etiquette line or something, for having asked to use their washer? I will respect what you guys say. I have to admit, I do not think in terms of whether these kinds of things are appropriate or not. When I was growing up with my grandparents, it seemed that these kinds of neighbor-to-neighbor niceties were not ever an issue. Your thoughts?
Well , didn't the wind change direction oh so suddenly on the part of your neighbours . Best you can hope for is to remain on civil terms . If we had our lives to live over again there'd be still loads we couldn't make sense of and there's a classic example . I live in a building with a shared Laundromat. Our washer was on the fritz, and it is a major chore for me to haul laundry to even the closest coin op, (there are so few of those these days). My next-door neighbors and I have been what I would consider really good friends for about 8 years. We've done a few things together, and they are always very interested to know how I'm doing, etc...I very rarely, if ever, ask them for anything. The wife has, from time to time, called me to tell me she has a hot meal ready to go--we have had outdoor picnics, too, but never at one another's house. Well, I asked the husband a few days ago, when our washer was on the fritz, if I could run a load through, but would dry at home. I offered to pay the rate ($3.00). He hesitated, and then said he would have to talk to his wife about it. I never heard back, and it seems they are avoiding me. Now, the question--did I cross some etiquette line or something, for having asked to use their washer? I will respect what you guys say. I have to admit, I do not think in terms of whether these kinds of things are appropriate or not. When I was growing up with my grandparents, it seemed that these kinds of neighbor-to-neighbor niceties were not ever an issue. Your thoughts?
By their reaction/lack of towards you it's just left an awkwardness between ye as neighbours and what have they gained from it . Precious little methinks
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hoolet: What have you done to upset them. No normal person would refuse a neighbourly act like that.
hoolet There are some people one doesn't have to have done anything wrong to.
Some people are just plain not people persons.
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secretagent09: I live in an apartment complex. The tenants here are concerned about the clothes that are put into a washing machine that is shared with other tenants so they spray the inside of the washer with Lysol. Your neighbor might be concerned if you are as clean as you appear to be.
Also, it's not a good idea to ask favors of people you get along with, especially a neighbor. Before I moved here I lived in a 3-family house. One of the neighbors has a sick wife who was up in years. He was old and didn't drive and one time he asked me if I would take him to the hospital so he could visit her. I said sure, let's go. After that he continuously asked me for rides to the hospital. I didn't like it that he depended on me so I made arrangements with the hospital for the local bus to pick him up at the corner.
I see where you are coming from. I suppose I am a bit old fashioned, and still think in terms of "Mayberry", and the like. Funny, many of my friends tell me that this personality trait is what they really love about me, the comfortable as an old shoe, down to earthiness, home and hearth feeling they seem to get from me. But the world has, and is changing. You are correct.Also, it's not a good idea to ask favors of people you get along with, especially a neighbor. Before I moved here I lived in a 3-family house. One of the neighbors has a sick wife who was up in years. He was old and didn't drive and one time he asked me if I would take him to the hospital so he could visit her. I said sure, let's go. After that he continuously asked me for rides to the hospital. I didn't like it that he depended on me so I made arrangements with the hospital for the local bus to pick him up at the corner.
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rohaan: Hi everyone. It's me again, with another galactic question:
I live in a building with a shared Laundromat. Our washer was on the fritz, and it is a major chore for me to haul laundry to even the closest coin op, (there are so few of those these days). My next-door neighbors and I have been what I would consider really good friends for about 8 years. We've done a few things together, and they are always very interested to know how I'm doing, etc...I very rarely, if ever, ask them for anything. The wife has, from time to time, called me to tell me she has a hot meal ready to go--we have had outdoor picnics, too, but never at one another's house. Well, I asked the husband a few days ago, when our washer was on the fritz, if I could run a load through, but would dry at home. I offered to pay the rate ($3.00). He hesitated, and then said he would have to talk to his wife about it. I never heard back, and it seems they are avoiding me. Now, the question--did I cross some etiquette line or something, for having asked to use their washer? I will respect what you guys say. I have to admit, I do not think in terms of whether these kinds of things are appropriate or not. When I was growing up with my grandparents, it seemed that these kinds of neighbor-to-neighbor niceties were not ever an issue. Your thoughts?
I live in a building with a shared Laundromat. Our washer was on the fritz, and it is a major chore for me to haul laundry to even the closest coin op, (there are so few of those these days). My next-door neighbors and I have been what I would consider really good friends for about 8 years. We've done a few things together, and they are always very interested to know how I'm doing, etc...I very rarely, if ever, ask them for anything. The wife has, from time to time, called me to tell me she has a hot meal ready to go--we have had outdoor picnics, too, but never at one another's house. Well, I asked the husband a few days ago, when our washer was on the fritz, if I could run a load through, but would dry at home. I offered to pay the rate ($3.00). He hesitated, and then said he would have to talk to his wife about it. I never heard back, and it seems they are avoiding me. Now, the question--did I cross some etiquette line or something, for having asked to use their washer? I will respect what you guys say. I have to admit, I do not think in terms of whether these kinds of things are appropriate or not. When I was growing up with my grandparents, it seemed that these kinds of neighbor-to-neighbor niceties were not ever an issue. Your thoughts?
Hi Ro,
I think lots of people have forgotten how to be neighbourly.
We have turned into an unsociable bunch.
I have a cordial, rather than a friendly, relationship with my neighbours.
But if one of them asked me could they use my washing machine once, I wouldn't hesitate.
However, if they offered to pay a going-rate, I might get uneasy, in case they thought it was going to be a regular business transaction.
That might be where the problem lies?
I'd prefer if they arrived with a bottle of wine afterwards
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rohaan: Nothing. Everything has always been hunky dorrie, and they are certainly the kind of people who would have said something. No, I think it's maybe just a familial thing, or like one member mentioned,the Lyson thing. It is nothing I have "done"--they are always quite cordial and have always told me they love me as their neighbor. It could be a cultural thing, as well. Who knows. But to respond to your comment, there is nothing negative between us.
I don't understand the Lyson aspect, but this occurrence will obviously make a difference to how you view them in the future, which is sad. However, I hope you have resolved your washing problem....cos that doesn't disappear.
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Ccincy: hoolet There are some people one doesn't have to have done anything wrong to.
Some people are just plain not people persons.
Some people are just plain not people persons.
Why don't you try thinking before you speak.
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Brannigan70: Well , didn't the wind change direction oh so suddenly on the part of your neighbours . Best you can hope for is to remain on civil terms . If we had our lives to live over again there'd be still loads we couldn't make sense of and there's a classic example .
By their reaction/lack of towards you it's just left an awkwardness between ye as neighbours and what have they gained from it . Precious little methinks
Your comments reflect exactly my reason for starting the thread. (Some would wonder why the big deal). But I AM a people person, and this reaction from them stung a bit. Yes, I am a little hurt by it, but I am not embarrassed or unwilling to admit it. (I believe most people would be a little hurt, because it was not an expected reaction from people you thought liked/loved you. That's why). thx for writing.By their reaction/lack of towards you it's just left an awkwardness between ye as neighbours and what have they gained from it . Precious little methinks
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hoolet: Why don't you try thinking before you speak.
You just proved what I was saying.
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I live in a building with a shared Laundromat. Our washer was on the fritz, and it is a major chore for me to haul laundry to even the closest coin op, (there are so few of those these days). My next-door neighbors and I have been what I would consider really good friends for about 8 years. We've done a few things together, and they are always very interested to know how I'm doing, etc...I very rarely, if ever, ask them for anything. The wife has, from time to time, called me to tell me she has a hot meal ready to go--we have had outdoor picnics, too, but never at one another's house. Well, I asked the husband a few days ago, when our washer was on the fritz, if I could run a load through, but would dry at home. I offered to pay the rate ($3.00). He hesitated, and then said he would have to talk to his wife about it. I never heard back, and it seems they are avoiding me. Now, the question--did I cross some etiquette line or something, for having asked to use their washer? I will respect what you guys say. I have to admit, I do not think in terms of whether these kinds of things are appropriate or not. When I was growing up with my grandparents, it seemed that these kinds of neighbor-to-neighbor niceties were not ever an issue. Your thoughts?