A new awful joke ( Archived) (38)

Nov 20, 2015 10:28 AM CST A new awful joke
Jeb80
Jeb80Jeb80Chicago, Illinois USA70 Threads 160 Posts
Does anyone know why the poor dog chased his own tail? He was trying to make ends meet. rolling on the floor laughing
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Nov 20, 2015 10:48 AM CST A new awful joke
allthegoodnamest
allthegoodnamestallthegoodnamestLondon, Essex, England UK40 Threads 4,697 Posts
Jeb80: Does anyone know why the poor dog chased his own tail? He was trying to make ends meet.

You're right, that was awful.. Invest in better Xmas crackers this year.doh rolling on the floor laughing
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Nov 20, 2015 12:14 PM CST A new awful joke
Jeb80
Jeb80Jeb80Chicago, Illinois USA70 Threads 160 Posts
Thanks for the reply, and the suggestion. handshake
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Nov 20, 2015 12:33 PM CST A new awful joke
epirb
epirbepirbDannevirke, Hawke's Bay New Zealand32 Threads 2 Polls 7,379 Posts
HOW THE INTERNET STARTED, ACCORDING TO THE BIBLE.

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy. And Dot Com was a comely woman, large of breast, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto Abraham, her husband,
"Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"

And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums.
And the drums rang out and were an immediate success.
Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.

To prevent neighbouring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew.

It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew to The People (HTTP).

And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung.

They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land.

Indeed he did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drum heads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others."

And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or eBay as it came to be known. He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."

And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." "YAHOO," said Abraham.

And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.

Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside.

It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).

That is how it all began.

I would not make up this stuff.
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Nov 20, 2015 3:21 PM CST A new awful joke
serena123
serena123serena123durban, KwaZulu-Natal South Africa44 Threads 2 Polls 2,821 Posts
There is a new Muslim talking doll.. No one knows whAt it says.. They are To scared to pull the string rolling on the floor laughing
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Nov 30, 2015 9:04 PM CST A new awful joke
Noego747
Noego747Noego747Barcelona, Catalonia Spain1 Posts
Three guys going by car in a trip. One is an eminence in developing chemicals, the other one is a physics eminence too, and the other left is teacher of informatics.
Suddently the car stops.
The chemical says for sure it's the cooling system, we can make it work by replacing the cooling liquid there.
The physics said no, no, it sounds like the gear we have used is broken and we can go on switching to another one and start again.
And there he goes the informatics one: Shut up! To fix it we must all go out of the car, wait 1 minute and step in again! doh


i'm an informatics guy in some way too, just having a little fun of myself laugh
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Nov 30, 2015 9:13 PM CST A new awful joke
galrads
galradsgalradsDublin, Ohio USA2,264 Threads 279 Polls 36,283 Posts
The branch Dravidians religious cult was attracted to and moved to WACO, Texas because it meant We Ain't Coming Out.



uh oh
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Nov 30, 2015 10:41 PM CST A new awful joke
jeeperscreepers
jeeperscreepersjeeperscreepersHokitika, West Coast New Zealand1 Threads 13 Posts
"I like you"
"I like you, too"
"I only sleep with vegans. Are you a vegan?"
"Sure baby"

Next morning.

"I feel like a Maccers. You coming?"
"But...."
"Now don't get all prissy.....you ate meat last night, baby."

kiss
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Dec 1, 2015 11:33 AM CST A new awful joke
serena123
serena123serena123durban, KwaZulu-Natal South Africa44 Threads 2 Polls 2,821 Posts
Two sheep in a field..
1st sheep says "Baaaaaa"
2nd sheep says"Oh my F..k! I was just gonna say the SAME thing!"
laugh
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Dec 1, 2015 11:35 AM CST A new awful joke
serena123: Two sheep in a field..
1st sheep says "Baaaaaa"
2nd sheep says"Oh my F..k! I was just gonna say the SAME thing!"

laugh rolling on the floor laughing
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Dec 1, 2015 12:24 PM CST A new awful joke
serena123
serena123serena123durban, KwaZulu-Natal South Africa44 Threads 2 Polls 2,821 Posts
Sarah got hit by a bus..
Knock knock.. Who's there?..
Not sarah
laugh
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Dec 2, 2015 8:23 AM CST A new awful joke
pat8lanips
pat8lanipspat8lanipsbabinda, Queensland Australia67 Threads 14 Polls 6,372 Posts
Who designed the female body? ...The council. They're the only people silly enough to put the playground right next to the sewerage outlet.
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Dec 2, 2015 1:07 PM CST A new awful joke
stringman
stringmanstringmanwallaceburg, Ontario Canada649 Threads 1 Polls 7,049 Posts
why is Obama still in power?dunno
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Dec 2, 2015 1:22 PM CST A new awful joke
serena123
serena123serena123durban, KwaZulu-Natal South Africa44 Threads 2 Polls 2,821 Posts
stringman: why is Obama still in power?

Obama was a "test tube baby"..
Cause even then he wasn't worth a f..k
rolling on the floor laughing laugh rolling on the floor laughing
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Dec 2, 2015 1:25 PM CST A new awful joke
serena123: Obama was a "test tube baby"..
Cause even then he wasn't worth a f..k
I was a test tube baby....snooty snooty snooty giggle giggle giggle
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Dec 2, 2015 1:29 PM CST A new awful joke
stringman
stringmanstringmanwallaceburg, Ontario Canada649 Threads 1 Polls 7,049 Posts
serena123: Obama was a "test tube baby"..
Cause even then he wasn't worth a f..k


thumbs up laugh
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Dec 2, 2015 1:30 PM CST A new awful joke
serena123
serena123serena123durban, KwaZulu-Natal South Africa44 Threads 2 Polls 2,821 Posts
truheart1941: I was a test tube baby....

You are worth one!smitten laugh
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Dec 2, 2015 1:37 PM CST A new awful joke
serena123: You are worth one!
really.....blushing have you a spare tube....??????innocent innocent rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Dec 2, 2015 1:43 PM CST A new awful joke
serena123
serena123serena123durban, KwaZulu-Natal South Africa44 Threads 2 Polls 2,821 Posts
truheart1941: really..... have you a spare tube....??????

Why? ..is yours flat? rolling on the floor laughing lips
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Dec 2, 2015 1:49 PM CST A new awful joke
serena123: Why? ..is yours flat?
..yes...no pump......professor sigh devil hug
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by Jeb80 (70 Threads)
Created: Nov 2015
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