Separation and women ( Archived) (50)

Nov 20, 2016 4:55 PM CST Separation and women
secretagent09
secretagent09secretagent09New Jersey Girl in, North Carolina USA198 Threads 4 Polls 7,223 Posts
KremaP: If she left him four time and he accepted her back each time, well, they kind of deserve each other.
I wouldn't have much respect for that man but she obviously finds him "comfortable"...




There is always an exception.

My husband was an alcoholic. I left him four times and went back to him three times.

The reason I went back is because each time he threatened to make sure I didn't get custody of our daughter. He and his father had money so I believed that he could do that. This was back in 1969 when I didn't understand the law like I do now.

However, as far as your respect comment, I did respect my husband aside from his misgivings.
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Nov 20, 2016 6:35 PM CST Separation and women
One2note
One2noteOne2noteLondon, Essex, England UK286 Threads 3 Polls 7,606 Posts
Lonely1: A female friend told me she separated from her husband five times to be with another man. Now she realize that her husband was good for her so she wants him back but he wants a divorce.

What is the reason why women like to separate then return and expect everything to be all lovey-dovey, no questions asked? I am confused.


Sounds like a total loser, if you ask me.
Any infidelity by either gender, should spell the end of the relationship.
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Nov 20, 2016 8:33 PM CST Separation and women
sophiasummer
sophiasummersophiasummerNorthland, New Zealand112 Threads 6,528 Posts
Lonely1: A female friend told me she separated from her husband five times to be with another man. Now she realize that her husband was good for her so she wants him back but he wants a divorce.

What is the reason why women like to separate then return and expect everything to be all lovey-dovey, no questions asked? I am confused.


Five times is a killer.
Bad choices.
Leaving the first one, No communication.

He's at fault so is she.

Why not seek that?

Fail!l
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Nov 21, 2016 1:44 AM CST Separation and women
KremaP
KremaPKremaPAt home, Shumen Bulgaria3,793 Posts
secretagent09: There is always an exception.

My husband was an alcoholic. I left him four times and went back to him three times.

The reason I went back is because each time he threatened to make sure I didn't get custody of our daughter. He and his father had money so I believed that he could do that. This was back in 1969 when I didn't understand the law like I do now.

However, as far as your respect comment, I did respect my husband aside from his misgivings.





Oh, Monte,
your case is something completely different hug
My best male friend has gone through hell and back because of his unfaithful wife for 14 years now.
She also has the habit of taking money from credit sharks and forgets to pay back (he is paying thousands now), rarely cooks, never worked and insults him in public calling him any awful thing you can think of.
Now she has followed her new lover to England and constantly messages my friend how satisfied she is in bed.
He looks after her son 18yo, pays her brother's debt as well as hers, which leaves him financially broken.
And when we spoke yesterday he said he might look for a job in UK so he can be close to her...and he has a brilliant job here.
I called him an idiot... dunno
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Nov 21, 2016 2:40 AM CST Separation and women
KremaP: Oh, Monte,
your case is something completely different
My best male friend has gone through hell and back because of his unfaithful wife for 14 years now.
She also has the habit of taking money from credit sharks and forgets to pay back (he is paying thousands now), rarely cooks, never worked and insults him in public calling him any awful thing you can think of.
Now she has followed her new lover to England and constantly messages my friend how satisfied she is in bed.
He looks after her son 18yo, pays her brother's debt as well as hers, which leaves him financially broken.
And when we spoke yesterday he said he might look for a job in UK so he can be close to her...and he has a brilliant job here.
I called him an idiot...
So your friend is a co-dependent to her, her child (young adult) and her brother.

I'd be reckoning that if he were to stop paying her bills as well as her brother's bills, and send the young adult packing, then send her a divorce paper, she'd start singing him a brand new tune.
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Nov 21, 2016 3:01 AM CST Separation and women
HexagonKeySet
HexagonKeySetHexagonKeySetCentral, Waikato New Zealand150 Threads 7 Polls 3,829 Posts
Lonely1: A female friend told me she separated from her husband five times to be with another man. Now she realize that her husband was good for her so she wants him back but he wants a divorce.

What is the reason why women like to separate then return and expect everything to be all lovey-dovey, no questions asked? I am confused.



Maybe ONE time I'd take her back ... but if she messed about a second time she'd be wasting her time looking to come back!
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Nov 21, 2016 11:22 AM CST Separation and women
KremaP
KremaPKremaPAt home, Shumen Bulgaria3,793 Posts
YouMeUs: So your friend is a co-dependent to her, her child (young adult) and her brother.

I'd be reckoning that if he were to stop paying her bills as well as her brother's bills, and send the young adult packing, then send her a divorce paper, she'd start singing him a brand new tune.



What can I say YMU,
I tried any possible way to open his eyes but in vein.
The brother by the way earns loads of money but never has a penny is his pocket... dunno
My friend's excuse is that if he had a new girlfriend he will be braver to ditch the snake, but he is delusional about the state he is in.
Not a single normal woman will want to live with a man who is broke paying someone else's debts, looks after a grown up child (not his) and on the top of it there is a possibility the wife comes back any moment and blows their love nest...rightfully...
Lost case I'd say...
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Nov 21, 2016 7:15 PM CST Separation and women
Lonely1
Lonely1Lonely1Ottawa, Ontario Canada76 Threads 21 Polls 1,858 Posts
KremaP: Oh, Monte,
your case is something completely different
My best male friend has gone through hell and back because of his unfaithful wife for 14 years now.
She also has the habit of taking money from credit sharks and forgets to pay back (he is paying thousands now), rarely cooks, never worked and insults him in public calling him any awful thing you can think of.
Now she has followed her new lover to England and constantly messages my friend how satisfied she is in bed.
He looks after her son 18yo, pays her brother's debt as well as hers, which leaves him financially broken.
And when we spoke yesterday he said he might look for a job in UK so he can be close to her...and he has a brilliant job here.
I called him an idiot...


We are on a singles/dating site with people from all over the world. Love or infatuation is a strange thing, some saying that love is blind. In my own experience I have seen people do strange things for love, even committing murder, so it is not a game. The things that some people do to get someone to 'stay' with them is mind-boggling. It therefore becomes imperative that we have certain standards by which we judge our love for another person and their love for us.

For me, based on my experience, giving money to a so-called partner, while getting nothing in return - not even a kiss now and then lips - is a huge red flag. Supporting 'his' children is mandatory, but if it is not his child then unless he adopted the boy he is selling himself short. This poor guy is stuck in some twilight world from which he cannot seem to extricate himself. He needs help or he might very well put himself into an early grave. Also, when he gets into his right mind he might very well do things that he might regret for the rest of his life. doh
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Nov 21, 2016 7:22 PM CST Separation and women
Lonely1
Lonely1Lonely1Ottawa, Ontario Canada76 Threads 21 Polls 1,858 Posts
KremaP: She likes you...oh, my, some people are just shameless to the bone, Lonely...
See my response to Secret...


Sometimes people have real issues and cannot see themselves for what they are. They will tell you their life story because you are a good listener or someone they feel they can confide in. Of course, we should be careful what secrets we tell our so-called 'best friend' because one day we might have a falling out with them or they with us.sigh

wave
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Nov 22, 2016 2:36 PM CST Separation and women
Bonkers_
Bonkers_Bonkers_Cap. Fed., Buenos Aires Argentina1 Threads 1 Polls 81 Posts
Sounds like The Elizabeth Taylor syndrome.
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