lifeisadream: Done and my children's happiness is first than myself or anyone or any thing.Where were you some years ago to say that to the father of my children? I am assuming it works both ways.
SchylerSilvey: I did, for 2 years out of the 3 years of my previous relationship. It was my ex who didn't practice what I preached.
When I read the word "preached" it really made me wonder of why some or most marriages fail because one or both of the parties are always preaching at one another and never really listen to what the other says.
I believe my own happiness is equally important too. I'm talking from experience here. The father of my kids was an abusive alcoholic. I could've easily succumbed to depression from the embarassment, hardship, heartache, headache, etc...that he had subjected the kids and I.
However, I chose to fight back by being happy. I take care of my appearance, my body and most importantly....my soul.
By being happy and have a life outside the misery, I was actually undoing the damage. The kids are happy to see that I am happy. I show them more love instead of being angry or withdrawn.
By being not angry, I could also feel sympathy towards the father of my kids. I still care for him and have to admit that I partly contributed to his drinking woes.
Well, to cut a long story short, he's fully recovered now. Sober. Got a well-paid job ( after being jobless for two years ) and is back on supporting the kids financially. I couldn't ask for more and feel very happy for the kids.
Sadly, the love I once had for him was already gone....
allthegoodnamest: Maybe you should practice what you preach, especially as you have children who don't live with you. Nobody likes a smartass, remember, there's no i in genius .!!!
Ccincy: There you go with that "Preached" word again.Don't know how old you are but by your pic you look like you can't more then the early thirties in age. You've got a lot to learn.
My mother used to tell me that parenting was done by amateurs.
To be fair, I wasn't the first on this thread to use it.
Everyone has a lot to learn, we all learn until we die.
My grandma always told me, "anyone can bear a child but it takes a real man to raise them. If you fail at that, you fail at life."
SchylerSilvey: To be fair, I wasn't the first on this thread to use it.
Everyone has a lot to learn, we all learn until we die.
My grandma always told me, "anyone can bear a child but it takes a real man to raise them. If you fail at that, you fail at life."
There you go again preaching again.
The part about learning until the day we die is a obvious thing. I've learned a lot throughout my old age of 67 and will obviously continue to learn something new everyday until they put me in the cold ground or where ever they choose to put me.
It's all obviously from your preaching that you like others have a lot to learn about relationships and not to do all that preaching.
No one likes a parent child relationship.
Can you imagine going to bed with your parents all the time.Yucky poo poo?
lifeisadreamMexi Go, Mexico State Mexico16,713 posts
Dreamcatcher99: Hi SS, if I may disagree with you on #4.
I believe my own happiness is equally important too. I'm talking from experience here. The father of my kids was an abusive alcoholic. I could've easily succumbed to depression from the embarassment, hardship, heartache, headache, etc...that he had subjected the kids and I.
However, I chose to fight back by being happy. I take care of my appearance, my body and most importantly....my soul.
By being happy and have a life outside the misery, I was actually undoing the damage. The kids are happy to see that I am happy. I show them more love instead of being angry or withdrawn.
By being not angry, I could also feel sympathy towards the father of my kids. I still care for him and have to admit that I partly contributed to his drinking woes.
Well, to cut a long story short, he's fully recovered now. Sober. Got a well-paid job ( after being jobless for two years ) and is back on supporting the kids financially. I couldn't ask for more and feel very happy for the kids..
Dreamcatcher99: Sadly, the love I once had for him was already gone....
There was a time when I knew that the love for the Father of my children was not there, still I decided to keep our family together. I know when that time was, when love started just fading ...around our 2+ year of being married and our married lasted 24 years.
lifeisadream: There was a time when I knew that the love for the Father of my children was not there, still I decided to keep our family together. I know when that time was, when love started just fading ...around our 2+ year of being married and our married lasted 24 years.
Should I have ended our marriage sooner?
In my case, I know him for 21 years and have loved him for 19 years.
The love didn't just disappear overnight but gradually, over the years....when each time he became abusive.
lifeisadreamMexi Go, Mexico State Mexico16,713 posts
Dreamcatcher99: Thank you but I have sort of put the past behind me now. He is now a very good dad to his kids, trying to make up lost time. Fortunately, kids are ever forgiving.
Now, I can't wait for my youngest to leave the nest Dec next year and then I'd be free to do whatever I want and be wherever I wish....
If you succeed with your youngest leaving the nest please tell me how because mine just do not want to leave the nest although I do enjoy her company lots.
Ccincy: There you go again preaching again. The part about learning until the day we die is a obvious thing. I've learned a lot throughout my old age of 67 and will obviously continue to learn something new everyday until they put me in the cold ground or where ever they choose to put me.
It's all obviously from your preaching that you like others have a lot to learn about relationships and not to do all that preaching.
No one likes a parent child relationship.
Can you imagine going to bed with your parents all the time.Yucky poo poo?
What? I'm a little confused on the whole "parent child relationship" point you're trying to make. Furthermore, aside from sleeping in the same bed as your parents, what's wrong with being close to your family?
SchylerSilvey: What? I'm a little confused on the whole "parent child relationship" point you're trying to make. Furthermore, aside from sleeping in the same bed as your parents, what's wrong with being close to your family?
What I meant was that when either of the adults in relationships preach to their partners to me that resembles a parent child relationship to me that would be like sleeping with one of your parents.
Dreamcatcher99: Thank you but I have sort of put the past behind me now. He is now a very good dad to his kids, trying to make up lost time. Fortunately, kids are ever forgiving.
Now, I can't wait for my youngest to leave the nest Dec next year and then I'd be free to do whatever I want and be wherever I wish....
Ccincy: It's the "preaching" part that got me.If either my late husband or I had preached to one another our marriage wouldn't had lasted very long.
To me that would had been like being in an Adult-Child relationship to me not an Adult one.
It is a bit of a strong word. Discussing would be better. I know if anyone tried to preach anything to me they would be wasting there time, and I would preach to anyone either.
rebel2: It is a bit of a strong word. Discussing would be better. I know if anyone tried to preach anything to me they would be wasting there time, and I would preach to anyone either.
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