What do I say? How do I deal with it? ( Archived) (31)

I have never met my father.
My sister tracked him down after 50 years.
He died, he is buried in paupers grave.

I have never had family as such as my mothers brothers never had children.

A person contacted through his facebook my ex and said OMG she is my cousin.

She left her number.
I am scared, not sure and if I ring her what to say.

I have be a lone girl all my life.

Should I ring her?
She left a number.
Help

wave:

Oh boy! I can totally relate to how you are feeling. I am in a very similiar situation as yourself. I've never met my biological father (he is still alive), my half-sister and half-brother. There were a few factors that were beyond everyone's control in my situation but recently, my half-sister found me and reached out and contacted me. I've spoken to all three of them and I was undecided myself, on whether or not to return the calls. I was extremely nervous, uncomfortable but at the same time, very curious. Curious to so many things, i.e., medical background, genes, relative, etc. I had a lot of unanswered questions for so many years. It's very weird to speaking with them, different than speaking to a stranger you've made friends with online, much more difficult. Honestly, I'm very happy to be in contact with them and I just keep telling myself that the uncomfortable conversations and anxiety will pass and that it is normal to be feeling this way. They feel the same way I do but their emotion's are different than mine of course due to certain circumstances. What I find so bizarre id when they tell me how much they love me and my father leaves me a voicemail saying "it's your 1st dad calling, call me back". I was raised by a man (my dad) whom I've always known was not my biological father, but he raised me since I was one year old. It's hard for me to tell them I love them (which I have not as of yet) also because we have not met in person and we are still getting to know each other. It's a process. Sometimes I feel guilty for not feeling love for them as they do for me. I know he wants me to call him "dad", but it doesn't come natural to me at all. I am happy though and I can only encourage you to make that call. If you don't, you will always wonder so many things now that you have an opportunity to learn so much more of who youare related to and and ultimately, your roots. Be yourself, be honest and be open -minded and don't be afraid to ask any questions and in return, answer question's you'll be asked. Just follow your instinct, it will be the one to advise you best and best wishes. I hope it works out just the way you want it too.