It's bad joke time, CS friends ( Archived) (28)

whats green.....and goes around 800 times a minute.........Kermit....in a blender.....

A Harley Biker is riding by the zoo in Washington, DC when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the collar of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents. The biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings the girl to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly. A reporter has watched the whole event.
The reporter addressing the Harley rider says, “Sir, this was the most gallant and bravest thing I've seen a man do in my whole life.”
The Harley rider replies, “Why, it was nothing, really. The lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right.”
The reporter says, “Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist, you know, and tomorrow's paper will have this story on the front page. So, what do you do for a living, and what political affiliation do you have?”
The biker replies "I'm a U.S. Marine, a Republican and I’m voting for Trump."
The journalist leaves.
The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on the front page:
“U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT & STEALS HIS LUNCH”
And THAT pretty much sums up the media's approach to the news these days!

@ Conny

{think MacDonalds......}

Once upon a time the Sesame Street Bus was tootling around town, picking up passengers. The driver made his first stop, and let on two very large women. The first lady smiled, payed her token, and said, "Good morning! My name is Patty". "Have a seat" the driver said. The other lady sat by her and started up a conversation. "Did you say your name was 'Patty'?, asked the second lady. "Yes", she replied, "Why"? The other lady smiled, and said, "Believe it or not, my name is Patty, too"! The bus tootled on. At the next stop, a gangly, rather bumpkin-ish looking fellow hopped aboard. "Mornin'", he grumbled. "Name's Ross. And by the way, my folks say I'm special, so there". The driver scratched his head a minute, chuckled, but took it all in. "Okay there, Ross", he said, good naturedly, "Sit anywhere you like." On went the bus. At the last stop before turning onto the freeway, another fellow got on board. "Hey there!" he yelled. "How's ever-buddy today? My name is Lester!" The patrons looked at him a minute, and rolled their eyes. He went to the back of the bus, and, no kidding, took off his shoes and socks, and started rubbing his feet.

NOW--WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE??























(TWO OBESE PATTIES, SPECIAL ROSS, AND LESTER PICKIN' BUNIONS ON A SESAME STREET BUS)