Old love memories ( Archived) (47)

Dec 24, 2017 12:57 PM CST Old love memories
Maya74
Maya74Maya74Atlanta, Georgia USA7 Threads 170 Posts
Do you keep photos, letters (or e-mails), cards, poems, small gifts from previous relationships? Or do you throw everything away once the relationship is over?

I used to keep everything. Then, a year ago, I decided to take a look at all those memories and the whole idea started to seem absurd. For example, I caught myself reading a love poem written by a boyfriend I was in a relationship with 20 years ago, I haven't seen for more than 10 years and who is now happily married with two children! So, I decided to throw away (and delete) everything from previous relationships, except photos (because they were my photos, too, as well as the photos of some friends, places we visited, etc.) and some gifts that I thought shouldn't be thrown away just because the one who gifted them was an ex-boyfriend (like books, etc.).

What do you do with your old memories? Those of you who threw them away - did you ever regret it? And those of you who keep them - do you ever worry that your future partner might see them and wouldn't like it?
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Dec 24, 2017 1:31 PM CST Old love memories
Mickmjb
MickmjbMickmjbMansfield, Nottinghamshire, England UK2 Threads 245 Posts
Years ago I met a girl in London, she was just visiting for the day, we chatted for an hour, exchanged addresses,
( she lived miles away) we exchanged a few letters but never got around to meeting. But we've exchanged Christmas cards for 40 years!
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Dec 24, 2017 1:36 PM CST Old love memories
mollybaby
mollybabymollybabyCork City, Cork Ireland56 Threads 8 Polls 23,608 Posts
Maya74: Do you keep photos, letters (or e-mails), cards, poems, small gifts from previous relationships? Or do you throw everything away once the relationship is over?

I used to keep everything. Then, a year ago, I decided to take a look at all those memories and the whole idea started to seem absurd. For example, I caught myself reading a love poem written by a boyfriend I was in a relationship with 20 years ago, I haven't seen for more than 10 years and who is now happily married with two children! So, I decided to throw away (and delete) everything from previous relationships, except photos (because they were my photos, too, as well as the photos of some friends, places we visited, etc.) and some gifts that I thought shouldn't be thrown away just because the one who gifted them was an ex-boyfriend (like books, etc.).

What do you do with your old memories? Those of you who threw them away - did you ever regret it? And those of you who keep them - do you ever worry that your future partner might see them and wouldn't like it?



Memories are part of our lives.

I know some people like to get rid of everything once they have got rid of the partner, but if you have good memories from it, and bear no ill-will towards your ex, I can't see why you'd want to delete it from your life.
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Dec 24, 2017 1:40 PM CST Old love memories
Lonely1
Lonely1Lonely1Ottawa, Ontario Canada76 Threads 21 Polls 1,858 Posts
Maya74: Do you keep photos, letters (or e-mails), cards, poems, small gifts from previous relationships? Or do you throw everything away once the relationship is over?

I used to keep everything. Then, a year ago, I decided to take a look at all those memories and the whole idea started to seem absurd. For example, I caught myself reading a love poem written by a boyfriend I was in a relationship with 20 years ago, I haven't seen for more than 10 years and who is now happily married with two children! So, I decided to throw away (and delete) everything from previous relationships, except photos (because they were my photos, too, as well as the photos of some friends, places we visited, etc.) and some gifts that I thought shouldn't be thrown away just because the one who gifted them was an ex-boyfriend (like books, etc.).

What do you do with your old memories? Those of you who threw them away - did you ever regret it? And those of you who keep them - do you ever worry that your future partner might see them and wouldn't like it?


I would say you are a sentimental person who holds on to the emotions of the past. There is nothing wrong with that.bouquet

I have postcards and letters from many years ago: ex-wife, daughter, relatives..Some of them I don't even see or talk to anymore. While I would have no problem throwing some into the garbage, I have just not had the time to go through them to throw them out. Maybe when I retire?dunno sigh
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Dec 24, 2017 1:42 PM CST Old love memories
Lonely1
Lonely1Lonely1Ottawa, Ontario Canada76 Threads 21 Polls 1,858 Posts
mollybaby: Memories are part of our lives.

I know some people like to get rid of everything once they have got rid of the partner, but if you have good memories from it, and bear no ill-will towards your ex, I can't see why you'd want to delete it from your life.


So true. I sometimes wonder why people do this. Of course some people just like to live spartan existences, some do not form attachments to anything/anyone, and some just see it as the best way to not have to think about the person or thing.wave
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Dec 24, 2017 1:48 PM CST Old love memories
Dedovix
DedovixDedovixBig Place, Central Serbia Serbia12 Threads 1 Polls 5,492 Posts
Maya74: Do you keep photos, letters (or e-mails), cards, poems, small gifts from previous relationships? Or do you throw everything away once the relationship is over?

I used to keep everything. Then, a year ago, I decided to take a look at all those memories and the whole idea started to seem absurd. For example, I caught myself reading a love poem written by a boyfriend I was in a relationship with 20 years ago, I haven't seen for more than 10 years and who is now happily married with two children! So, I decided to throw away (and delete) everything from previous relationships, except photos (because they were my photos, too, as well as the photos of some friends, places we visited, etc.) and some gifts that I thought shouldn't be thrown away just because the one who gifted them was an ex-boyfriend (like books, etc.).

What do you do with your old memories? Those of you who threw them away - did you ever regret it? And those of you who keep them - do you ever worry that your future partner might see them and wouldn't like it?


Do my best to forget ...
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Dec 24, 2017 1:48 PM CST Old love memories
mollybaby
mollybabymollybabyCork City, Cork Ireland56 Threads 8 Polls 23,608 Posts
Lonely1: So true. I sometimes wonder why people do this. Of course some people just like to live spartan existences, some do not form attachments to anything/anyone, and some just see it as the best way to not have to think about the person or thing.


I have never dated anybody I didn't like as a person, and we never had an acrimonious split, so I see them as important parts of the formation of me as a person. We learn from everyone wine
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Dec 24, 2017 1:54 PM CST Old love memories
reb56
reb56reb56carthage, Missouri USA55 Polls 8,629 Posts
Maya74: Do you keep photos, letters (or e-mails), cards, poems, small gifts from previous relationships? Or do you throw everything away once the relationship is over?

I used to keep everything. Then, a year ago, I decided to take a look at all those memories and the whole idea started to seem absurd. For example, I caught myself reading a love poem written by a boyfriend I was in a relationship with 20 years ago, I haven't seen for more than 10 years and who is now happily married with two children! So, I decided to throw away (and delete) everything from previous relationships, except photos (because they were my photos, too, as well as the photos of some friends, places we visited, etc.) and some gifts that I thought shouldn't be thrown away just because the one who gifted them was an ex-boyfriend (like books, etc.).

What do you do with your old memories? Those of you who threw them away - did you ever regret it? And those of you who keep them - do you ever worry that your future partner might see them and wouldn't like it?
carpenters made a good song about yesterday once more,karen was a good singer/rip.
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Dec 24, 2017 1:59 PM CST Old love memories
I sold my gold ring my ex gave me, I got 150euro on itthumbs up
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Dec 24, 2017 3:14 PM CST Old love memories
One2note
One2noteOne2noteLondon, Essex, England UK286 Threads 3 Polls 7,606 Posts
Maya74: Do you keep photos, letters (or e-mails), cards, poems, small gifts from previous relationships? Or do you throw everything away once the relationship is over?

I used to keep everything. Then, a year ago, I decided to take a look at all those memories and the whole idea started to seem absurd. For example, I caught myself reading a love poem written by a boyfriend I was in a relationship with 20 years ago, I haven't seen for more than 10 years and who is now happily married with two children! So, I decided to throw away (and delete) everything from previous relationships, except photos (because they were my photos, too, as well as the photos of some friends, places we visited, etc.) and some gifts that I thought shouldn't be thrown away just because the one who gifted them was an ex-boyfriend (like books, etc.).

What do you do with your old memories? Those of you who threw them away - did you ever regret it? And those of you who keep them - do you ever worry that your future partner might see them and wouldn't like it?


You can't erase the past , so why destroy it?
You can't deny the past, especially myself, who has been married and my daughter can only be a constant reminder of that.

Most people who destroy memorabilia, do it themselves to forget bad memories, or good, because the relationship ended.
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Dec 24, 2017 3:46 PM CST Old love memories
Maya74
Maya74Maya74Atlanta, Georgia USA7 Threads 170 Posts
One2note: Most people who destroy memorabilia, do it themselves to forget bad memories, or good, because the relationship ended.


It doesn't have to be the reason... To me - it just seemed ridiculous at the moment - keeping letters, poems, cards, notes, some small gifts that meant something to us only - while it was all so long time ago and we don't share those feelings any more. Memories always remain inside us and make us what we are now. I didn't destroyed all - I kept the photos and some (meaningful :D ) gifts. :)

So far, I can see that our CS members keep their old love memories. :)

Don't you worry about your future partner? What if he/she is a jealous person and doesn't like that at all?
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Dec 24, 2017 4:06 PM CST Old love memories
One2note
One2noteOne2noteLondon, Essex, England UK286 Threads 3 Polls 7,606 Posts
Maya74: It doesn't have to be the reason... To me - it just seemed ridiculous at the moment - keeping letters, poems, cards, notes, some small gifts that meant something to us only - while it was all so long time ago and we don't share those feelings any more. Memories always remain inside us and make us what we are now. I didn't destroyed all - I kept the photos and some (meaningful :D ) gifts. :)

So far, I can see that our CS members keep their old love memories. :)

Don't you worry about your future partner? What if he/she is a jealous person and doesn't like that at all?


It happened on several occasions!

After my divorce, I became a single father to my daughter & Not all my dates were understanding to my situation.
They just couldn't handle the bond between us??

Anyway, that was then & she's grown up & I don't regret the past.
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Dec 24, 2017 4:28 PM CST Old love memories
Deedee123x
Deedee123xDeedee123xLimerick, Ireland69 Threads 4,795 Posts
It doesn't have to be the reason... To me - it just seemed ridiculous at the moment - keeping letters, poems, cards, notes, some small gifts that meant something to us only - while it was all so long time ago and we don't share those feelings any more. Memories always remain inside us and make us what we are now. I didn't destroyed all - I kept the photos and some (meaningful :D ) gifts. :)

So far, I can see that our CS members keep their old love memories. :)

Don't you worry about your future partner? What if he/she is a jealous person and doesn't like that at all?[/quote

I would agree with you Maya.
I keep the photos as I love them.
But anything else I've gotten rid of not necessarily because it's from them..I normally do a clear out twice or three times a year anyways so they naturally go once they have served their purpose.

Hold no ill will towards any ex....but I don't feel the need to hold onto things for very long.
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Dec 24, 2017 6:04 PM CST Old love memories
KNenagh
KNenaghKNenaghAachen, Kilkenny Ireland12 Threads 11,160 Posts
Maya74: Do you keep photos, letters (or e-mails), cards, poems, small gifts from previous relationships? Or do you throw everything away once the relationship is over?

I used to keep everything. Then, a year ago, I decided to take a look at all those memories and the whole idea started to seem absurd. For example, I caught myself reading a love poem written by a boyfriend I was in a relationship with 20 years ago, I haven't seen for more than 10 years and who is now happily married with two children! So, I decided to throw away (and delete) everything from previous relationships, except photos (because they were my photos, too, as well as the photos of some friends, places we visited, etc.) and some gifts that I thought shouldn't be thrown away just because the one who gifted them was an ex-boyfriend (like books, etc.).

What do you do with your old memories? Those of you who threw them away - did you ever regret it? And those of you who keep them - do you ever worry that your future partner might see them and wouldn't like it?


I keep photos and some practical presents, some of these we picked out together. I don't keep letters or text messages. For me to move on, I don't want any contact with my ex and break with the past.
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Dec 24, 2017 6:17 PM CST Old love memories
pat8lanips
pat8lanipspat8lanipsbabinda, Queensland Australia67 Threads 14 Polls 6,372 Posts
I dont really have any old love memories, because none of my loves have been that old really. Mostly they've been close to my age,
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Dec 24, 2017 8:07 PM CST Old love memories
Let_Us
Let_UsLet_UsAnaheim, California USA9 Threads 1,017 Posts
Maya74: It doesn't have to be the reason... To me - it just seemed ridiculous at the moment - keeping letters, poems, cards, notes, some small gifts that meant something to us only - while it was all so long time ago and we don't share those feelings any more. Memories always remain inside us and make us what we are now. I didn't destroyed all - I kept the photos and some (meaningful :D ) gifts. :)

So far, I can see that our CS members keep their old love memories. :)

Don't you worry about your future partner? What if he/she is a jealous person and doesn't like that at all?


Personally, I've NEVER been attached to "things". I've led a somewhat tumultuous life, and "things" have come and gone. And I've never been particularly sentimental. The thing that MATTERS, to me, is I've got the memories stored up, in my head. And I can spend some time rummaging around in my memory ANYTIME I get the urge. But, as far as being concerned about some new love finding evidence of an old love of mine, if she was a person who was upset by/about my past, who couldn't accept that I HAD had other loves before her, that I had a life BEFORE she became a part of it, my BEST guess is that we WOULDN'T last, anyway. I'm NOT a jealous man. And I ESPECIALLY wouldn't be jealous of a memory! The idea just DOESN'T "compute", in MY head. If I'm with a woman, it's because I WANT to be with that woman. And any previous women I've been with would have NO BEARING, on THAT! And, if a woman wants to be with me, I'm happy (usually (-: ). But if some lady that NO LONGER EXIST makes her feel insecure, and UNhappy, about being with me, then I'll just wish her well, and be on my way! I DON'T want a woman WITH me, who ISN'T "happy" being there! She'll end up making ME UNhappy, too. And life's to short to be unhappy MORE than you absolutely MUST be. So I'll wish her the best, and we can part on good terms. Even still be friends. I've even told some of my MORE significant others, that if this or that old female friend of mine EVER knocked on our door, she BETTER invite her in, and offer her the best we had to offer. Of course, there are only two female friends that I will say that about! But, if my woman refused to do this, THAT would be cause for a MAJOR ruckus, between us! But I have no romantic interest in EITHER of these two women. And I seriously DOUBT that either will ever end up on my doorstep with their hand out. But BOTH of these women EARNED/DESERVE ALL my respect! They were BETTER people than I was! And treated me BETTER than I deserved. They were GOOD people, and deserve ANYTHING "I" can do, for them. But neither of them would be a threat to my present relationship. So I would REFUSE to turn them away! And any woman that was WORTHY of MY love, would just have to accept! If she couldn't/wouldn't, then I'd have to REexamine OUR relationship! If I'm with a woman, it's because I WANT to be. And I'll give most ANYTHING she desires (if I can). But there are SOME "THINGS" I WILL NOT DO! And that's turn my back on a "friend". I DON'T mean an "acquaintance". I mean a FRIEND! INCLUDING her! And, if she INSISTS that I do, then she's NOT the FRIEND "I" want! So, no, I wouldn't be concerned that a new lover found some evidence of an old lover of mine. After all, I'm NOT with that old lover! I'm with my PRESENT lover! So what is there for her to get upset about? I just DON'T think I would EVER be able to understand such a thing. confused dunno wine teddybear
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Dec 24, 2017 8:46 PM CST Old love memories
Let_Us
Let_UsLet_UsAnaheim, California USA9 Threads 1,017 Posts
Here's two poems that sorta bear on MY thoughts, about old friends (which is how "I" see most of my old lovers).


Memories

I know, my friend
That, in the end
We will begin
To wear the funny edges off
Of our affair

But, until then
I'd like to spend
Tomorrow in
Enjoying
All the things we two can share

Then if, my friend
Somewhere, Some when
There comes an end
And we must part
Going each our separate ways

Though time's unkind
We still may find
Within our mind
Fond memories
Of those long forgotten days

And for a while
They'll make us smile
Turn back the dial
To days when joy and laughter
Were our only guide

To days we shared
To days we cared
To days we dared
To when we walked together
Side by side


The Dying Day

The dying day
Will fade away
And slip into the night

And as it dies
A seagull cries
While soaring by in flight

The lonely sounds
Of surf abounds
And makes me think of you

Of what we shared
And how we cared
And all the things we'd do

We'd sit above
The sea you loved
And watch the dying day

And once you asked
Why does life pass
So soon to pass away

And I replied
"It's like the tide
That washes yonder shore

It ebbs and flows
It comes and goes
And no one knows what for

Don't look behind
For time's unkind
Enjoy this summer's sun

Don't look before
Or ask for more
Then, when all's said and done

We won't regret
A missed sunset
We'll simply laugh and say

I still recall
We loved it all
Yes, every passing day

Remember when
Once, way back then
When we were not so gray"


NO ONE is promised ANYTHING! We must learn to appreciate what we have, when we have it. Trying to live on promises/hopes/dreams/desires/memories is a futile quest. And we'll NEVER find happiness/joy/love, THAT way. Enjoy what you have! And when you no longer have it (which is the MOST likely outcome), cherish the memories, but don't live in those memories. Live in your NEW life! And build NEW memories, to add to your store of old memories, Yes. I HAVE memories. (Maybe you have momentos.) And I'll have those memories for as long as I live. Can I NOT have those memories? I suppose so. But WHY would I WANT to NOT have them? Should my NEW friends dislike/be afraid of those memories? Personally, "I" would like to know/share those memories, both my own, and those of my new friend. The things that make up those memories are what made me ME! And if it WEREN'T for those "things", then I wouldn't be the person she wants to be with. And she wouldn't be the person "I" want to be with. So WHY would/should I dislike/fear them? And WHY should/would she? The logic of such an idea escapes me! dunno wave teddybear
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Dec 25, 2017 1:53 AM CST Old love memories
KremaP
KremaPKremaPAt home, Shumen Bulgaria3,793 Posts
No, I don't drag anything behind me...the past is a past, and an ex is an ex for a reason...
I have not seen any of my ex-s after the break up, except the father of my son...
My love life starts anew with every relationship and there is no space for skeletons in it...
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Dec 25, 2017 1:56 AM CST Old love memories
Maya74: Do you keep photos, letters (or e-mails), cards, poems, small gifts from previous relationships? Or do you throw everything away once the relationship is over?

I used to keep everything. Then, a year ago, I decided to take a look at all those memories and the whole idea started to seem absurd. For example, I caught myself reading a love poem written by a boyfriend I was in a relationship with 20 years ago, I haven't seen for more than 10 years and who is now happily married with two children! So, I decided to throw away (and delete) everything from previous relationships, except photos (because they were my photos, too, as well as the photos of some friends, places we visited, etc.) and some gifts that I thought shouldn't be thrown away just because the one who gifted them was an ex-boyfriend (like books, etc.).

What do you do with your old memories? Those of you who threw them away - did you ever regret it? And those of you who keep them - do you ever worry that your future partner might see them and wouldn't like it?


I have nothing from any ex's but I do have every picture of every cat and dog I had in the last 15 years stored on the laptop and external memory just in case conversing
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Dec 25, 2017 6:44 AM CST Old love memories
reb56
reb56reb56carthage, Missouri USA55 Polls 8,629 Posts
KremaP: No, I don't drag anything behind me...the past is a past, and an ex is an ex for a reason...
I have not seen any of my ex-s after the break up, except the father of my son...
My love life starts anew with every relationship and there is no space for skeletons in it...
dont look back,it leads 2 depression,etc.yesterdays gone!
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