Victim Blaming (104)

Tue Jan 16, 2018 6:27 PM CST Victim Blaming
mykingdomforanam
mykingdomforanammykingdomforanamMountain View, Hawaii USA15 Threads 2,365 Posts
Victim blaming occurs when the victim of a crime or any wrongful act is held entirely or partially at fault for the harm that befell them. The study of victimology seeks to mitigate the perception of victims as responsible.
Victim blaming - Wikipedia


I'd like to talk about "Victim Blaming," and help people avoid getting involved with abusers, who weasel their way into our lives with begging and blaming.



Any wrongful act done to you, does not justify you getting blamed for having any wrongful act done to you.
Tue Jan 16, 2018 6:55 PM CST Victim Blaming
mykingdomforanam
mykingdomforanammykingdomforanamMountain View, Hawaii USA15 Threads 2,365 Posts
Yesterday, I was talking about a love I had when I was young.

And a guy I call "Beg and Blame" started blaming me, for making his life less, because of my post that wasn't directed at him.

And I became concerned for my sister's on this sight.

That's a way for an abusive person to get into your life; and since he tried it on me, I know he'd try it on a woman; because, he's here to find a woman; and he blamed me for his loss, to use me as a pawn in his game to get to her.



I realize that the people who need this topic, are the ones are most likely to accept blame they don't deserve.

So you can't accept any blame, that would require you to change your mind, about anything.
Tue Jan 16, 2018 7:12 PM CST Victim Blaming
mykingdomforanam
mykingdomforanammykingdomforanamMountain View, Hawaii USA15 Threads 2,365 Posts
It's very important to victim blamers, that you accept their blame.

So even when they know they're wrong, getting an apology out of them, will be like pulling teeth.
Tue Jan 16, 2018 7:53 PM CST Victim Blaming
mykingdomforanam
mykingdomforanammykingdomforanamMountain View, Hawaii USA15 Threads 2,365 Posts
Oops...

In my second post I made a mistake.

I meant to say, Beg Or Blame, as in, BOB.

Everybody who needs an uncle to show you how to blame...

Bob's yer uncle.
Wed Jan 17, 2018 3:21 PM CST Victim Blaming
I blame all my victims because one thing´s for sure, it wasn´t my fault!scold
Thu Jan 18, 2018 4:55 AM CST Victim Blaming
mykingdomforanam: Victim blaming occurs when the victim of a crime or any wrongful act is held entirely or partially at fault for the harm that befell them. The study of victimology seeks to mitigate the perception of victims as responsible.
Victim blaming - Wikipedia


I'd like to talk about "Victim Blaming," and help people avoid getting involved with abusers, who weasel their way into our lives with begging and blaming.



Any wrongful act done to you, does not justify you getting blamed for having any wrongful act done to you.

care to give us a example ?
Thu Jan 18, 2018 5:16 AM CST Victim Blaming
mykingdomforanam: Victim blaming occurs when the victim of a crime or any wrongful act is held entirely or partially at fault for the harm that befell them. The study of victimology seeks to mitigate the perception of victims as responsible.
Victim blaming - Wikipedia


I'd like to talk about "Victim Blaming," and help people avoid getting involved with abusers, who weasel their way into our lives with begging and blaming.



Any wrongful act done to you, does not justify you getting blamed for having any wrongful act done to you.


Victim-blaming is very common and pervasive throughout society.

it is especially common in rape cases.

'She shouldn't have been wearing those clothes'

'She shouldn't have been walking on that street'

'She shouldn't have been drinking'


The only person who should be blamed for rape is the rapist, not the victim.
Thu Jan 18, 2018 5:21 AM CST Victim Blaming
mollybaby: Victim-blaming is very common and pervasive throughout society.

it is especially common in rape cases.

'She shouldn't have been wearing those clothes'

'She shouldn't have been walking on that street'

'She shouldn't have been drinking'


The only person who should be blamed for rape is the rapist, not the victim.

why do most people automatically go to rape ,is it subconsciously tied to victim?
Thu Jan 18, 2018 5:38 AM CST Victim Blaming
Dedovix: why do most people automatically go to rape ,is it subconsciously tied to victim?


Because it is considered one of the worst crimes, along with murder.

And with murder, they are never going to blame a dead victim.
Thu Jan 18, 2018 5:46 AM CST Victim Blaming
mollybaby: Because it is considered one of the worst crimes, along with murder.

And with murder, they are never going to blame a dead victim.

so,how come you get a bigger sentence for bank robbing than for raping ...or for tax evasion...

I mean, when you say , its considerate... , by whom? our judgment ,legal system ...
Thu Jan 18, 2018 5:52 AM CST Victim Blaming
Dedovix: so,how come you get a bigger sentence for bank robbing than for raping ...or for tax evasion...

I mean, when you say , its considerate... , by whom? our judgment ,legal system ...


That is where the system lets the victims down.

I guess i mean that society in general considers it to be. And the system does too, but it doesn't show it in its sentencing.

Recently a man in England, a taxi driver who used to pick up lone females, drug them and then raped them, was sentenced to life imprisonment in 2009. He is now out again and most probably planning a new raping spree.
Thu Jan 18, 2018 5:54 AM CST Victim Blaming
Or maybe because rape is one of the most bleedin' obvious where the victim is not to blame, and yet society still facilitates the perpetrator to abdicate responsibility.

Child abuse would be another example, but that's still so taboo the only way it's socially acceptable to talk about it is by wishing, or threatening all manner of torturous harms on the perpetrator.
Thu Jan 18, 2018 6:01 AM CST Victim Blaming
jac_the_gripper: Or maybe because rape is one of the most bleedin' obvious where the victim is not to blame, and yet society still facilitates the perpetrator to abdicate responsibility.

Child abuse would be another example, but that's still so taboo the only way it's socially acceptable to talk about it is by wishing, or threatening all manner of torturous harms on the perpetrator.


It permeated throughout society though.

Maybe if the judicial system showed the gravity of it in the sentencing they give, society in general may stop the victim-blaming too.

I remember reading the results of a survey they did about it once, and one question and answer stuck in my brain.

The high number of people said a rape-victim was partly at fault if she walked alone on a quiet street, even if she lived on that street.
Thu Jan 18, 2018 6:08 AM CST Victim Blaming
I'd like to comment on the phrase 'victim mentality' which I've heard numerous times on these forums.

It's a peach.

It seems that not only do victims get blamed for the harm done to them, they get blamed for the consequent impact on their psychology.

It seems like we don't want to hear of victims, but only survivors. I can't help, but wonder if the element of surviving which people want to hear is 'it doesn't matter, look how it hasn't had an impact on me'. Isn't that in itself seeking out a certain abdication of responsibility for the perpetrator?

Are we unable, or unwilling to take some personal responsibility ourselves in providing a safe space where people can work through the emotional consequences of victimisation?
Thu Jan 18, 2018 6:08 AM CST Victim Blaming
mollybaby: That is where the system lets the victims down.

I guess i mean that society in general considers it to be. And the system does too, but it doesn't show it in its sentencing.

Recently a man in England, a taxi driver who used to pick up lone females, drug them and then raped them, was sentenced to life imprisonment in 2009. He is now out again and most probably planning a new raping spree.

The system is not our friend -imprisonment doesn't really work as correctional institution and by the way I dont think that the OP had rape on his mind when he created this thread...Men and children are getting raped too

The system is letting most of us down, in so many ways but we dont really think about it
Thu Jan 18, 2018 6:11 AM CST Victim Blaming
Dedovix: The system is not our friend -imprisonment doesn't really work as correctional institution and by the way I dont think that the OP had rape on his mind when he created this thread...Men and children are getting raped too

The system is letting most of us down, in so many ways but we dont really think about it


I know that men and children get raped too, Dedo.

Rape is rape no matter who the victim is.


And yes, the system lets many people down. It is too immersed in the technical legalities and too uncaring of the victims.
Thu Jan 18, 2018 6:15 AM CST Victim Blaming
Dedovix: so,how come you get a bigger sentence for bank robbing than for raping ...or for tax evasion...

I mean, when you say , its considerate... , by whom? our judgment ,legal system ...


Thats a very good question.

There seems to be no struggle eith sentencimg when it comes to robbery or the likes..u nearly always hear of it being 25 years or more ..

There always seems to be some struggle on the Judges part when it comes to sentencimg a rapist or an abuser..as if their feelings need to be considered when sentencing happens.

Man from home was sentenced to 7 years for sexually abusimg his daughter from a young age to a late teen.

Eben the years sentenced didnt matvh the years she was tortured.

This girls own mother disowned her daughter for comimg forward and " lying" abt the father.
The brothers left the country n settled elsewhere bevause they couldnt deal with it.

Whole family ruined on the outside while that scumbag gets his 3 square meals a day inside....television to watch...hell cud educate himself insife while he has to put his time down.

Justice system should be brought to its knees and totally reformed to bring it into the 21st century
Thu Jan 18, 2018 6:19 AM CST Victim Blaming
Sorry for the bad spelling.
I can spell lol just never go back over to rectify my mistakes as im lazy like that lol
Thu Jan 18, 2018 6:41 AM CST Victim Blaming
Okay, who`s turn is it now to wear the fluffy handcuffs

Big Papa has his whip ready devil
Thu Jan 18, 2018 6:43 AM CST Victim Blaming
Dedovix: Okay, who`s turn is it now to wear the fluffy handcuffs

Big Papa has his whip ready


I still have scars from the last time
Both physically and mentally.

Its surely one of the others turn.
uh oh mumbling
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