The lack of mature adults, both male and female as opposed to being adult in western society & why. (75)

Feb 12, 2018 9:29 PM CST The lack of mature adults, both male and female as opposed to being adult in western society & why.
Something that has been on my mind for some time is the fact that there are so few mature adults in society today. There is a vast difference between becoming a adult and becoming a mature one. The only requirement to becoming an adult is surviving, not dying, to an age where your peers consider you adult but being a mature adult is something all together different as that requires a person to,
1. Realizing how much you don’t know.
2. Listening more and talking less.
3. Being aware and considerate of others as opposed to being self-absorbed, self-centered, and inconsiderate.
4. Not taking everything personally, getting easily offended, or feeling the need to defend, prove, or make excuses for yourself.
5. Being grateful and gracious, not complaining.
6. Taking responsibility for your own health and happiness, not relying on others to “fix” you or placing blame for your circumstances.
7. Having forgiveness and compassion for yourself and others.
8. Being calm and peaceful, not desperate, frantic, or irrational.
9. Showing flexibility and openness as opposed to resisting, controlling, or being unreasonable.
10. Helping yourself, not just expecting others to do it for you out of a sense of entitlement.
11. Doing good deeds even when there is nothing in it for you other than knowing you helped, being selfless.
12. Respecting another’s point of view, beliefs, and way of life without judgment, not insisting you are right, belittling another, or using profanity or violence to get your point across.
13. Sharing your good fortune with others.
14. Being able to turn the other cheek without wishing harm on another.
15. Thinking before acting and having good manners, not going off half-cocked, lashing out, or being rude.
16. Encouraging and being supportive of others.
17. Finding joy in the success of someone else, not envy or criticism.
18. Knowing there is always room to grow and improve and reaching out for help.
19. Having humility and laughing at yourself.
20. Recognizing that which does not work in your life and making an effort to do something different.
21. Passing up instant gratification in favor of long term benefits.
22. Accepting, liking, and loving yourself, not needing someone else to “complete” you.
23. Standing up for fairness and justice for yourself and others and choosing to do the right thing.
24. Making sacrifices for the good of others without resentment.
25. Not clinging to materialistic items or bragging. Taken from 25 signs of maturity, huffington post
And a personal favorite,
26. Taking responsibility for your own actions and the ongoing reactions of that regardless of whether you intended for that response or not.

Prior to the industrial revolution and still held in many societies and tribal communities today,children at around about the age or puberty or just after, were taken by the adults of that society, male for boys and female for girls, and initiated into adulthood. After that ceremony, the participants were expected too and for the most part did, behave as adults within that society and took on the responsibilities of being adult without question. This is something we lost and now, kids seem to stumble into adulthood and somewhere between the age of 20 and 30, decide that they must be adult now because of their responsibilities and what life is to them but there is no defining moment where they are recognised amongst their peers as equals as adults and I think we need that, after all, it has been a part of mankind's, no offence ladies with calling it mankind, just a term, existence since long before recorded history. It is almost a genetic marker in the history of our species where our young step from childhood into adulthood and it has only been in the last couple of hundred or so years that this ritual has ceased to happen or in western or "Developed" countries and societies.
I've run out of characters, more to come in my next comment. :)
Feb 12, 2018 9:37 PM CST The lack of mature adults, both male and female as opposed to being adult in western society & why.
Miwagi
MiwagiMiwagiFlyover, Kentucky USA72 Threads 2 Polls 3,170 Posts
I'll just keep it short and sweet and answer with a song.
Feb 12, 2018 9:43 PM CST The lack of mature adults, both male and female as opposed to being adult in western society & why.
In our modern society we try to keep our young as children long after their bodies transition to maturity and we are the only animal on this planet that does this, why? Our young go through puberty but are told that they are still kids and treated as such instead of being initiated into adulthood. They have no direction as a young adult because we don't want to treat them as such and often start to act recklessly with partying, drugs and unsafe s*xual practices. In a more traditional society, this just wouldn't happen because they are treated as a adult after the initiation ceremony and because they want to be accepted by the older members of their communities and be respected, they try to emulate the other adults in that community instead of having to compete against each other and take the risks that to many of our younger generation seem to do so often.
Most do survive but not all and it takes them so much longer to reach a place that they are recognised as adults and even longer for them to see them selves in the same way.
I think that the old ways where initiation is the norm, produce a more mature adult and a stronger individual that is ready to face all of a adults life's challenges than what most of our kids in our supposed developed countries produce.
Maybe it is time to start to reconsider those things that we have lost in modernisation and bring back the initiation rituals so that from the time our youngs bodies mature, they start to mature mentally as well and then possibly, we will have a lot morte mature adults than we do now and a better society as a whole.
My thoughts anyway. :)
Feb 12, 2018 10:16 PM CST The lack of mature adults, both male and female as opposed to being adult in western society & why.
Miwagi
MiwagiMiwagiFlyover, Kentucky USA72 Threads 2 Polls 3,170 Posts
Sorry mate. We're fresh out of mature adults here.
Feb 12, 2018 10:18 PM CST The lack of mature adults, both male and female as opposed to being adult in western society & why.
Miwagi: Sorry mate. We're fresh out of mature adults here.



Speak for yourself.boxing boxing
Feb 12, 2018 11:22 PM CST The lack of mature adults, both male and female as opposed to being adult in western society & why.
LeeCharmingonline today!
LeeCharmingonline today!LeeCharmingCardiff, Clwyd, Wales UK84 Threads 21 Polls 2,604 Posts
I will be watching closely to see if the op practices what he preaches, because most of the time these types of people turnout to be hypocrites...grin
Feb 12, 2018 11:59 PM CST The lack of mature adults, both male and female as opposed to being adult in western society & why.
Miwagi
MiwagiMiwagiFlyover, Kentucky USA72 Threads 2 Polls 3,170 Posts
LeeCharming: I will be watching closely to see if the op practices what he preaches, because most of the time these types of people turnout to be hypocrites...

I'm not sue what practices, but he definitely seems to be preaching. And the choir is on another blog me thinks.
Feb 13, 2018 12:03 AM CST The lack of mature adults, both male and female as opposed to being adult in western society & why.
jac_the_gripper
jac_the_gripperjac_the_gripper..., South Glamorgan, Wales UK15 Threads 3,720 Posts
You make a very good point about initiation ceremonies into adulthood and how positive expectations can lead to positive behaviours, Greg.

I'm struggling with a couple of issues though. We have the issue of secular trends in physical development where height and weight increase with each generation, particularly linked with better nutrition. The onset of menarche is on average 7 1/2 stone, so there is also a secular trend in reaching physical s*xual maturity as well. If we link adulthood with physical maturity, we link it with increasingly younger children, which raises the question whether their cognitive and emotional development is at a commensurate stage to cope.

I also think that youngsters are expected to be adult in some ways at too young an age. It seems they reach secondary school age (11 years) and they have the pressures of the adult world thrown at them in terms of work and what they are expected to achieve to gain funding for schools. This adult pressure seems particularly acute for girls - whilst it's still socially acceptable for boys to play (football, rough and tumble) in their break times and on time, girls using a skipping rope is subject to eradication by peer pressure. Girls are expected to stand around in groups talking about make-up and celebrities.

To a certain extent, children aren't allowed to be children, but like you said, they aren't allowed to be adults either. They're expected to be adults in some ways, whilst still being treated like children.

This has got to be a confusing set of signals for a group of people with freshly developing emotions and cognitions, who don't really have the experience, or maturity to negotiate them on their own.

If we're going to have this teenage no (wo)man's land between childhood and adulthood, maybe we need some non-judgemental guidance and tuition for the poor buggers.
Feb 13, 2018 12:12 AM CST The lack of mature adults, both male and female as opposed to being adult in western society & why.
Miwagi
MiwagiMiwagiFlyover, Kentucky USA72 Threads 2 Polls 3,170 Posts
Note to selftyping Don't double date with Jac and Geg.
Feb 13, 2018 12:13 AM CST The lack of mature adults, both male and female as opposed to being adult in western society & why.
ChesneyChristonline now!
ChesneyChristonline now!ChesneyChristManchester, Greater Manchester, England UK3,669 Posts
Staying alive requires more intelligence, skill and ability to live with stress than ever before. People were rounded adults before they were specialised and placed into compartments to optimise capitalist efficiency. A frenzied and highly-educated people without patience or depth in character. And then there's the left behinds and dropouts, oh so many dropouts.
Feb 13, 2018 12:26 AM CST The lack of mature adults, both male and female as opposed to being adult in western society & why.
ChesneyChristonline now!
ChesneyChristonline now!ChesneyChristManchester, Greater Manchester, England UK3,669 Posts
ChesneyChrist: Staying alive requires more intelligence, skill and ability to live with stress than ever before. People were rounded adults before they were specialised and placed into compartments to optimise capitalist efficiency. A frenzied and highly-educated people without patience or depth in character. And then there's the left behinds and dropouts, oh so many dropouts.


There's the active and stressed half of society developed from today's complexity, and then there's a frolicing and shameless side developed from the spurious surplus. These people who seem to have no place in the modern world and yet the modern world can produce more than enough to keep them.
Feb 13, 2018 12:36 AM CST The lack of mature adults, both male and female as opposed to being adult in western society & why.
Miwagi
MiwagiMiwagiFlyover, Kentucky USA72 Threads 2 Polls 3,170 Posts
ChesneyChrist: There's the active and stressed half of society developed from today's complexity, and then there's a frolicing and shameless side developed from the spurious surplus. These people who seem to have no place in the modern world and yet the modern world can produce more than enough to keep them.

And then there is me. Who won't fit nicely into any of your boxes.wave
Feb 13, 2018 12:44 AM CST The lack of mature adults, both male and female as opposed to being adult in western society & why.
Miwagi
MiwagiMiwagiFlyover, Kentucky USA72 Threads 2 Polls 3,170 Posts
Goodnite world.sleep
Feb 13, 2018 12:46 AM CST The lack of mature adults, both male and female as opposed to being adult in western society & why.
ChesneyChristonline now!
ChesneyChristonline now!ChesneyChristManchester, Greater Manchester, England UK3,669 Posts
ChesneyChrist: There's the active and stressed half of society developed from today's complexity, and then there's a frolicing and shameless side developed from the spurious surplus. These people who seem to have no place in the modern world and yet the modern world can produce more than enough to keep them.


We should all sympathise with Brexit and Trump. Who can deny the appeal of a less complicated, engineered and sophisticated society? A society where the amateur gets the chance and success isn't a product of concentration, passing exams or behaving in a professional manner but of pig-headed determination in face of the facts.
Feb 13, 2018 1:08 AM CST The lack of mature adults, both male and female as opposed to being adult in western society & why.
ChesneyChristonline now!
ChesneyChristonline now!ChesneyChristManchester, Greater Manchester, England UK3,669 Posts
ChesneyChrist: We should all sympathise with Brexit and Trump. Who can deny the appeal of a less complicated, engineered and sophisticated society? A society where the amateur gets the chance and success isn't a product of concentration, passing exams or behaving in a professional manner but of pig-headed determination in face of the facts.


Women are less affected thanks to motherhood and their nature of safe averageness. Their stronger relation with children prevents their complete severance from reality but the same cannot be said for some of the older men who more often find themselves at both extremes - all work and no play and all play and no work. Women, by comparison, are moderate and mature. Their personal world insulates them from the habits of economic society, but when the external world goes mad men go right after it.
Feb 13, 2018 1:28 AM CST The lack of mature adults, both male and female as opposed to being adult in western society & why.
ChesneyChristonline now!
ChesneyChristonline now!ChesneyChristManchester, Greater Manchester, England UK3,669 Posts
ChesneyChrist: Women are less affected thanks to motherhood and their nature of safe averageness. Their stronger relation with children prevents their complete severance from reality but the same cannot be said for some of the older men who more often find themselves at both extremes - all work and no play and all play and no work. Women, by comparison, are moderate and mature. Their personal world insulates them from the habits of economic society, but when the external world goes mad men go right after it.


Of course the traditional and mature thing for damaged men to do was die in a great service. In the mature times Trump sends his fans to die in a war with Mexico, that's how the opioid crisis gets solved. But kill them all was never really an option with women who retain a sensible character through a spirit of grace. In the mature times male sensibility was maintained through a timely cull and men, even liberal and rebellious men, would lay down their lives willingly.
Feb 13, 2018 1:47 AM CST The lack of mature adults, both male and female as opposed to being adult in western society & why.
ChesneyChristonline now!
ChesneyChristonline now!ChesneyChristManchester, Greater Manchester, England UK3,669 Posts
ChesneyChrist: Of course the traditional and mature thing for damaged men to do was die in a great service. In the mature times Trump sends his fans to die in a war with Mexico, that's how the opioid crisis gets solved. But kill them all was never really an option with women who retain a sensible character through a spirit of grace. In the mature times male sensibility was maintained through a timely cull and men, even liberal and rebellious men, would lay down their lives willingly.


I do like that "you can't always get what you want" by the Rolling Stones was Trump's campaign song. It vaguely hints at what I'm talking about(I am your King. I know what's good for you more than you know what's good for you, and it is good to bring on the poor and prepare their arse cheeks for a pounding).
Feb 13, 2018 2:07 AM CST The lack of mature adults, both male and female as opposed to being adult in western society & why.
ChesneyChristonline now!
ChesneyChristonline now!ChesneyChristManchester, Greater Manchester, England UK3,669 Posts
ChesneyChrist: I do like that "you can't always get what you want" by the Rolling Stones was Trump's campaign song. It vaguely hints at what I'm talking about(I am your King. I know what's good for you more than you know what's good for you, and it is good to bring on the poor and prepare their arse cheeks for a pounding).


Although I don't like war I tend to agree with the fascists that peace is degenerative and infantile. If it wasn't for the war against the fascists we'd never have seen the functional democracy and social progress of the post-war world. Even a trade war with China would work wonders, to remove this element which makes consumption enfeeblingly comfortable and working life distorted and in frenzy would not be a loss in the long run. What I hate about GDP is that it gives no measure to the quality of a thing.
Feb 13, 2018 2:10 AM CST The lack of mature adults, both male and female as opposed to being adult in western society & why.
Chambella
ChambellaChambellaBatemans Bay & Canberra (ACT), New South Wales Australia125 Posts
LeeCharming: I will be watching closely to see if the op practices what he preaches, because most of the time these types of people turnout to be hypocrites...


Agreed and considering he has NEVER had any kids of his own to nurture and raise he sounds like he has NO IDEA!

As far as I am concerned he sounds just a tad creepy ...
Feb 13, 2018 2:32 AM CST The lack of mature adults, both male and female as opposed to being adult in western society & why.
ChesneyChristonline now!
ChesneyChristonline now!ChesneyChristManchester, Greater Manchester, England UK3,669 Posts
ChesneyChrist: Although I don't like war I tend to agree with the fascists that peace is degenerative and infantile. If it wasn't for the war against the fascists we'd never have seen the functional democracy and social progress of the post-war world. Even a trade war with China would work wonders, to remove this element which makes consumption enfeeblingly comfortable and working life distorted and in frenzy would not be a loss in the long run. What I hate about GDP is that it gives no measure to the quality of a thing.


To a great extent we need to re-invent the system of gentleman's agreements whihc stopped capitlaism getting out of hand before the 1980s and neoliberalism. Businesses in a town would agree on a minimum fee which kept the trade civil and the customer valued. And the reason they didn't shark is because they didn't sweatshops and globalisation competing in the background and wha they did have was a great sense of teamwork developed thoruhg their experience in the war(and to a lesser extent the 1930s).

Now getting back to this pre-baby boomer generation which self-regulated for the greater good of society must surely require a struggle. A humbling moment in history which acts as a great maturing event.
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