Apologies (99)
rainbowdream2017: Every person and situation is different but I think, most of them lie to themselves to feel better with their councious, most of them have no regrets what so ever...and probably the only sorrow they have is that they didn't rip you off more.
I think, people with a good heart, sense for justice and fairness, simply can't understand that other side may not feel and think anything to consider adjusting injustice and far away appologetic for any wrong doing. Before making my definite choice with family issues, I've felt it was helpful to me, reading lot's of books, everything that relates to what I was searching for... how to deal with this type of egocentric behaviour as with family, it's too much emotions involved to see things clear in traying to still hang on for the idea of family meaning....and after all reasurch and psychological analyses, I've come to conculusion that as hardest it can be, cut off the cancerous part in body, just like a sergion in operation room... no matter if is a family member or friend and who ever that try to plays with your mind and heart. That's me but if people can sit around the table and talk honestly 'what went wrong'...I would always give a chance, as long I believe that there is change of heart and sencire regrets for the wrong doing.
I like your funny caricature.
I think, people with a good heart, sense for justice and fairness, simply can't understand that other side may not feel and think anything to consider adjusting injustice and far away appologetic for any wrong doing. Before making my definite choice with family issues, I've felt it was helpful to me, reading lot's of books, everything that relates to what I was searching for... how to deal with this type of egocentric behaviour as with family, it's too much emotions involved to see things clear in traying to still hang on for the idea of family meaning....and after all reasurch and psychological analyses, I've come to conculusion that as hardest it can be, cut off the cancerous part in body, just like a sergion in operation room... no matter if is a family member or friend and who ever that try to plays with your mind and heart. That's me but if people can sit around the table and talk honestly 'what went wrong'...I would always give a chance, as long I believe that there is change of heart and sencire regrets for the wrong doing.
I like your funny caricature.
Thanks.
So true. Sometimes when I think about this life I am happy that I will not be on this Earth for too long. Although I like riding my motorcycle, I am convinced that there are people who want to get off this crazy planet as soon as possible.
Although many of us have good intentions and want to live at peace and share with others, I am finding out that there are some people who like to hurt others or who always complain about what others have done to them but never admitting what they did to others or accept the reason why Bad Karma is following them everywhere.
Although we are told that the meek will inherit the Earth, sometimes I think otherwise. If you act like a lamb, don't be surprised if you get eaten by the wolves.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Deedee123x: This is just an advice thread.
Have u ever had to deal with a situation where you were wronged in a big way.
For years you are hoping for a sincere apology that you know is never going to come.
Its fine if you never have to see this person again, you can learn to let go and move on, but if it is someone who you have to deal with everyday knowing what they did, how have any of you overcome this.
Have u ever had to deal with a situation where you were wronged in a big way.
For years you are hoping for a sincere apology that you know is never going to come.
Its fine if you never have to see this person again, you can learn to let go and move on, but if it is someone who you have to deal with everyday knowing what they did, how have any of you overcome this.
I think this is where you have to rise above it all. If you are feeling hurt then you believe 100% that you were wronged in some way. If someone steps on your toe accidentally the pain can be horrendous, yet, when they say sorry you immediately forgive them because you know it was an accident and an apology sufficed. However, if someone deliberately hurt you, it goes way deep; an apology is of no use.
So accepting an apology is reinforcing bad behavior and it will not rescind your pain. You have two choices. Give the other person some space for them to think about it and they may eventually seek your forgiveness.
You can only forgive someone if they seek it... If you are working together you must lay your cards on the table, the other person must make some sort of gesture that shows genuine remorse and that they should seek your forgiveness! If you have to totally dismiss that toxic person from your life you can rescind your pain by making it a gift to others.....helping others who are going through the same thing you went through.
When someone deliberately hurts you and have not sought forgiveness, you must realise that you are not at fault so stop continuing to hurt yourself. Treat it as a broken finger and watch it heal....
------ This thread is Archived ------
Deedee123x: This is just an advice thread.
Have u ever had to deal with a situation where you were wronged in a big way.
For years you are hoping for a sincere apology that you know is never going to come.
Its fine if you never have to see this person again, you can learn to let go and move on, but if it is someone who you have to deal with everyday knowing what they did, how have any of you overcome this.
Have u ever had to deal with a situation where you were wronged in a big way.
For years you are hoping for a sincere apology that you know is never going to come.
Its fine if you never have to see this person again, you can learn to let go and move on, but if it is someone who you have to deal with everyday knowing what they did, how have any of you overcome this.
hi Deedee
i don't know....(grin) i'm not sure what the situation is, and every situation is unique.
i do know that i have better success with reminding myself that everyone is doing their best with what they have, and practicing forgiveness, than trying to make other folks meet my expectations.
having said that, if i had to be with that person each day, my choice of action would be based on the person and the individual situation.
and on a good day, it would come from a place of kindness and compassion for both myself and the other person, with focused intent on solution.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Lonely1: Thanks.
So true. Sometimes when I think about this life I am happy that I will not be on this Earth for too long. Although I like riding my motorcycle, I am convinced that there are people who want to get off this crazy planet as soon as possible.
Although many of us have good intentions and want to live at peace and share with others, I am finding out that there are some people who like to hurt others or who always complain about what others have done to them but never admitting what they did to others or accept the reason why Bad Karma is following them everywhere.
Although we are told that the meek will inherit the Earth, sometimes I think otherwise. If you act like a lamb, don't be surprised if you get eaten by the wolves.
Again, I love your maid point through picture.So true. Sometimes when I think about this life I am happy that I will not be on this Earth for too long. Although I like riding my motorcycle, I am convinced that there are people who want to get off this crazy planet as soon as possible.
Although many of us have good intentions and want to live at peace and share with others, I am finding out that there are some people who like to hurt others or who always complain about what others have done to them but never admitting what they did to others or accept the reason why Bad Karma is following them everywhere.
Although we are told that the meek will inherit the Earth, sometimes I think otherwise. If you act like a lamb, don't be surprised if you get eaten by the wolves.
I think maybe Gerlard said, that nothing scares him more than a Pissed Off Womem
which reminded me of Me 
It must be accumulated loads of crup to take me to that point...and I preffer to be tottaly calm in self control, seing myself as that 'Lamb with a pistole' or I am humble in undervaluing my own qualities when someone wakes up scorpion in me. Wishing you a long life.
------ This thread is Archived ------
MsContessa: I think this is where you have to rise above it all. If you are feeling hurt then you believe 100% that you were wronged in some way. If someone steps on your toe accidentally the pain can be horrendous, yet, when they say sorry you immediately forgive them because you know it was an accident and an apology sufficed. However, if someone deliberately hurt you, it goes way deep; an apology is of no use.
So accepting an apology is reinforcing bad behavior and it will not rescind your pain. You have two choices. Give the other person some space for them to think about it and they may eventually seek your forgiveness.
You can only forgive someone if they seek it... If you are working together you must lay your cards on the table, the other person must make some sort of gesture that shows genuine remorse and that they should seek your forgiveness! If you have to totally dismiss that toxic person from your life you can rescind your pain by making it a gift to others.....helping others who are going through the same thing you went through.
When someone deliberately hurts you and have not sought forgiveness, you must realise that you are not at fault so stop continuing to hurt yourself. Treat it as a broken finger and watch it heal....
DeeDee is always generously kind appologetic person and although we're all imperfect, I can not see in her doing anything purposely wrong to hurt ... therefor I think she suffers and struggles a great deal to accept other people 'wrong doing - without sorrow and regret.' So accepting an apology is reinforcing bad behavior and it will not rescind your pain. You have two choices. Give the other person some space for them to think about it and they may eventually seek your forgiveness.
You can only forgive someone if they seek it... If you are working together you must lay your cards on the table, the other person must make some sort of gesture that shows genuine remorse and that they should seek your forgiveness! If you have to totally dismiss that toxic person from your life you can rescind your pain by making it a gift to others.....helping others who are going through the same thing you went through.
When someone deliberately hurts you and have not sought forgiveness, you must realise that you are not at fault so stop continuing to hurt yourself. Treat it as a broken finger and watch it heal....
I love your wise elaboration.
------ This thread is Archived ------
lindsyjones: Lesson learned. Called charged it to experience.
To make us better people.
Dear Lindsy. We never stop learning lessons as long we live, with new people, in a new situations ... and let's hope we learned Lesson well enough, to make a short cut, to use our knowladge from previous experience as valuable guide.To make us better people.
------ This thread is Archived ------
To all that i havnt personally responded to, thanks for your shared stories and your good advice.
Hope no one felt this was a sympathy thread as it certainly wasnt meant that way.
What happened was many moons ago, yet still pops its head up every so often, but ive read all your comments and want to thank you so much for taking the time to give your advice.
Ill take alot away from this.
Also sorry to those of you that have experienced your own pain, thanks for sharing your story
Hope your own pain has eased.
Hope no one felt this was a sympathy thread as it certainly wasnt meant that way.
What happened was many moons ago, yet still pops its head up every so often, but ive read all your comments and want to thank you so much for taking the time to give your advice.
Ill take alot away from this.
Also sorry to those of you that have experienced your own pain, thanks for sharing your story
Hope your own pain has eased.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Move on and stop living with hurt feelings
------ This thread is Archived ------
Deedee123x: This is just an advice thread.
Have u ever had to deal with a situation where you were wronged in a big way.
For years you are hoping for a sincere apology that you know is never going to come.
Its fine if you never have to see this person again, you can learn to let go and move on, but if it is someone who you have to deal with everyday knowing what they did, how have any of you overcome this.
Most people know if they owe an apology. Purposefully not offering one is a form of passive-aggressive behavior. I realize many people, even professionals in fields of human relationships, would suggest that one confront his or her adversary. I don't believe this is at all helpful. Passive-Aggressiveness is an addictive emotional disorder. (They don't think, or ever will think, that they are doing or behaving wrong.) You would, then, be spinning your wheels to ask for, suggest, or confront these types. It's a brick wall. If you have to deal with them every day, do so with as much reservedness as you can, without appearing hostile yourself. These kinds of situations are HARD. They occur to all of us ALL THE TIME. Find a way to get through one day at a time. Have u ever had to deal with a situation where you were wronged in a big way.
For years you are hoping for a sincere apology that you know is never going to come.
Its fine if you never have to see this person again, you can learn to let go and move on, but if it is someone who you have to deal with everyday knowing what they did, how have any of you overcome this.
------ This thread is Archived ------
LeeCharming: Move on and stop living with hurt feelings
------ This thread is Archived ------
rohaan: Most people know if they owe an apology. Purposefully not offering one is a form of passive-aggressive behavior. I realize many people, even professionals in fields of human relationships, would suggest that one confront his or her adversary. I don't believe this is at all helpful. Passive-Aggressiveness is an addictive emotional disorder. (They don't think, or ever will think, that they are doing or behaving wrong.) You would, then, be spinning your wheels to ask for, suggest, or confront these types. It's a brick wall. If you have to deal with them every day, do so with as much reservedness as you can, without appearing hostile yourself. These kinds of situations are HARD. They occur to all of us ALL THE TIME. Find a way to get through one day at a time.
Thanks Rohaan.
Yes i dont like passive aggressive types.
I prefer straight talkers who say it as it is and not in a rude ill mannered way.
Ive never understood people who know they have done wrong and yet still dont or wont apologise and admit that if they do they hate it.... find this leans to a nacissistic nature of sorts.
Yes im well removed from the initial hurt and real pain that it caused....i think i wanted to gain some wider knowledge and experience of how others have dealt with something similar...its why im here, to learn...and have fun.
Thanks for taking the time to reply.
Thanks Lee aswell
------ This thread is Archived ------
truheart1941: looking back.....i can honestly say......I,ve always done the right things for people......its they ,,,,,iwho should apologies to me.........I joke not. tru.
Prove it .. ------ This thread is Archived ------
rainbowdream2017: Yes. My lovely 2 siblings tried to rip me off from my share of inheritance...just because they thought I am too far to do anything about it. Indeed it was psychologically and emotional difficult to face that my own blood can use all kind of tricks, missinfirmations, emotional blackmails to misslead me so Ive took Lawyer... Anyway after a few years of legal battle Ive won, they where ' forced' to make compromise if they want to enjoy inheritance or to legally battle with me to the rest of their life and although its all over now (except some birocratic paper work to be finalized) nothing in our family relation will ever be the same or in our children relations as casens....and when I can cut my siblings out of my life, I can as well cut out anyone else that trys to do any demage in my life.
I will never get any appologies and I don't expect it, I am just content that they know, they can't take me for a ride ....You learn to be strong, there's no other choice but in certain situations to stright forward 'hit the snake in the head ', do what you have to do, make a peace with yourself that you did what's rightful and be happy with what you have in your life what ever that is.
Hurt does mingle around but if you know what you did is rightfully adjusted, what else you can do ? We can't change nature of people, only ourselves how we deal with things. All the best in finding your own solution how to deal with this issue...
I will never get any appologies and I don't expect it, I am just content that they know, they can't take me for a ride ....You learn to be strong, there's no other choice but in certain situations to stright forward 'hit the snake in the head ', do what you have to do, make a peace with yourself that you did what's rightful and be happy with what you have in your life what ever that is.
Hurt does mingle around but if you know what you did is rightfully adjusted, what else you can do ? We can't change nature of people, only ourselves how we deal with things. All the best in finding your own solution how to deal with this issue...
I too can relate to your post on a personal level, same old, same old, my extant siblings are still trying to stop the succession to our fathers inheritance. The fact that he left no will has caused untold damage/ division within our remaining family.
Even though I am deeply saddened by all this, as the eldest extant son it is my familial obligation to stand up for and watch over all our remaining family including those trying to shaft me.
"Such is life''.even though it "Sucks" big time.
For all those like myself, who are way past their use by date, make out a will, save your loved ones a whole lot of grief, cursing, spitting and pissing on your headstone!.
Sadly I do not have same possible options on dealing with this, as you have been able to take.I only have one,"Suck it up" and deal with it!.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Deedee123x: Hey Gal.
Yes ive had a fair share of them too...theres alot that we can accept as just a bad moment on heir behalf or a bad judgement...we all do it.
Its the ones where it has affected ur peace of mind and stripped you of any self esteem or confidence.
The sad thing is they know they did wrong.
They even know they should apologise or i should hope they do, but yet it never comes.
I know plenty will say, get over it, let it go...but sometimes its just not that easy really.
Yes ive had a fair share of them too...theres alot that we can accept as just a bad moment on heir behalf or a bad judgement...we all do it.
Its the ones where it has affected ur peace of mind and stripped you of any self esteem or confidence.
The sad thing is they know they did wrong.
They even know they should apologise or i should hope they do, but yet it never comes.
I know plenty will say, get over it, let it go...but sometimes its just not that easy really.
We not lose anything, they are the loser
Just let it be, one day they will feel guilty for any reason.
If we think too much about it, maybe thats their intention to make us feel bad.
so......let it be n be happy.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Surviving is the punishment for leaving things unsaid ...cluttering ones life up with guilt & regrets indicates a lack of mature guidance at the outset ...largely a modern age thing l suspect.
A one-time friend/neighbour who has retired, sold-up & returned to a family property in the country, had his life well & truly ruined by his solicitor, who took advantage of him after his marriage ended, when he was emotionally vulnerable ...signed him up to a horrible property deal & took all of his money off him.
Well, that's what solicitors/lawyers do, predate on the herd.
My then friend asked me what l thought he should do about his situation ...l advised him if he could live with it, then live with it & if he couldn't, then just kill him ...he gave me a very odd look, obviously not the solution to the wrong done to him he expected to hear ...well, l am an old fashioned stick-in-the-mud, ggrrr
lnstead, he embarked on an utterly futile 25 year, expensive, acrimonious, sometimes violent series of confrontations that he took all the way to the High Court, dragging his family, friends, neighbours & the civil authorities along with him ...largely a modern age thing l suspect.
A one-time friend/neighbour who has retired, sold-up & returned to a family property in the country, had his life well & truly ruined by his solicitor, who took advantage of him after his marriage ended, when he was emotionally vulnerable ...signed him up to a horrible property deal & took all of his money off him.
Well, that's what solicitors/lawyers do, predate on the herd.
My then friend asked me what l thought he should do about his situation ...l advised him if he could live with it, then live with it & if he couldn't, then just kill him ...he gave me a very odd look, obviously not the solution to the wrong done to him he expected to hear ...well, l am an old fashioned stick-in-the-mud, ggrrr
lnstead, he embarked on an utterly futile 25 year, expensive, acrimonious, sometimes violent series of confrontations that he took all the way to the High Court, dragging his family, friends, neighbours & the civil authorities along with him ...largely a modern age thing l suspect.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Thanks once again to those of you who commented since my last post.
It has helped no end.
Onwards and upwards
It has helped no end.
Onwards and upwards
------ This thread is Archived ------
zacron: I too can relate to your post on a personal level, same old, same old, my extant siblings are still trying to stop the succession to our fathers inheritance. The fact that he left no will has caused untold damage/ division within our remaining family.
Even though I am deeply saddened by all this, as the eldest extant son it is my familial obligation to stand up for and watch over all our remaining family including those trying to shaft me.
"Such is life''.even though it "Sucks" big time.
For all those like myself, who are way past their use by date, make out a will, save your loved ones a whole lot of grief, cursing, spitting and pissing on your headstone!.
Sadly I do not have same possible options on dealing with this, as you have been able to take.I only have one,"Suck it up" and deal with it!.
Even though I am deeply saddened by all this, as the eldest extant son it is my familial obligation to stand up for and watch over all our remaining family including those trying to shaft me.
"Such is life''.even though it "Sucks" big time.
For all those like myself, who are way past their use by date, make out a will, save your loved ones a whole lot of grief, cursing, spitting and pissing on your headstone!.
Sadly I do not have same possible options on dealing with this, as you have been able to take.I only have one,"Suck it up" and deal with it!.
I feel for all who come to similar personal deeply painful situation that's challenging on so many levels...It takes spiritual Hercules to patiently deal with injustice and to overcome it, if pain of being betrayed can ever vanish in the thick air...
My father was sick when siblings made a tremendous pressure on him & manipulated him to change a will and over the phone he complained to me but I couldn't do nothing, although I've worrned siblings to not make his end of life harder, which foll on the deft ears.
What one meant to do, it will do it anyway !
When old people become sick, it's most vulnerable state to be manipulated. I can't fully blame my father to piss on his headstone but maybe I could do it on siblings headstone if they leave this Earth before me...but by that time I wouldn't care any more, Karma caches up eventually.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Deedee123x: Thanks once again to those of you who commented since my last post.
It has helped no end.
Onwards and upwards
It has helped no end.
Onwards and upwards
I think if all of us help a bit with our own imdividual experience, it's great if you can take some of that and make your own wisdom - suitable for your unique situation, as well, we probably also help ourselves to share with others in finding some relief & comfort, learning there's more of us, each to their own, looking from so many different and similar angles ...------ This thread is Archived ------
rainbowdream2017: I think if all of us help a bit with our own individual experience, it's great if you can take some of that and make your own wisdom - suitable for your unique situation, as well, we probably also help ourselves to share with others in finding some relief & comfort, learning there's more of us, each to their own, looking from so many different and similar angles ...
------ This thread is Archived ------
This Thread is Archived
This Thread is archived, so you will no longer be able to post to it. Threads get archived automatically when they are older than 3 months.
« Go back to All Threads
« Go back to All Threads
More Threads
Have it both ways!
The Real Stormy Story
I'm a 53 YEAR'S YUNG MAN that lives back in the 80s
Trump on Trial
Unions support Democrats!
Trump Elementary
The weird and the random facts around the world
Why is this shameful?
Kultur-multur
Who will be The Last Person To Post... VERSION FOUR
More Threads
Report threads that break rules, are offensive, or contain fighting. Staff may not be aware of the forum abuse, and cannot do anything about it unless you tell us about it. click to report forum abuse »
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
I have faith that life always has a means and a purpose for everything that it throws our way, a journey of experiences filled with lessons,clues, hardships with challenges that must be confronted and overcome in time by adjusting our sails...it's important to be flexible in our daily life, to find peace and contentment in positive attitude, as well it's important to confront our fears about anything or anyone and make the right choice. I believe each time when we hesitate to confront our matter of concern, we're prolonging what we will eventually face, sooner or later, so it's better sooner. No use of seeking appologise or hoping for it or even hearing word 'sorry' if it doesn't come with genuine intentions to make any difference....
Many wisdoms came out of truth but in the end, we must find truth and define our own wisdom.
The family members or friends that we know 'yesturday' are not the same people today, nor will be the same in the future, nor will we be the same tomorrow, its a constant process of change and to resist accepting this changes is to fight against the inevitable....it's like hiting the brick wool that will only brake our life.
Lesson learned. Called charged it to experience.
To make us better people.