Current Thoughts ( Archived) (878)

That's my middle name

It brought tears to my eyes too

Always

"Never"
is a tiresome space of time
and the mind crumbles
at even the faintest thought of rhyme

no love ..
to even trip the flow of ink
no hands to caress me
as I fondle soiled dishes in the sink

reflection
in the past window of regret
and if Love is possible
it's a possibility that I haven't met

antiquity
has painted scribes of time
and the feet crumble
to barely admit they're standing there

midnight ..
whispers faintly on my shoulder
while logic answers
that my search should've been bolder

I always looked for a sense of belonging
A calling
Something I could claim as my own
I searched for something inside me
But never felt at home
And as people started to find themselves
I was stuck in a hole
Not knowing who I was
Searching long and hard
For my soul
People told me to be whoever I wanted
And I just wanted to be free
But this secret kept a hold on me
It latched on and wouldn't let go
And I knew I had to let it go
But this whole feeling of belonging
Stopped me in my tracks
I couldn't look back
See it turns out that I knew who I was
But I hoped a long the way
It would change
I would hopefully outgrow these feelings
Even though deep down I knew they would stay the same
So my sense of belonging quickly went away
And I had to be ok with it
The sad thing is
I spent so much time pushing it away
Instead of smiling and being ok
So much time lost trying to find a new me
So much time lost trying to be free
Instead of living