I don’t often do threads but here are a few gags to hopefully bring a smile or a laugh to some people on here,
I played in a band in Bermuda and the guy on the triangle disappeared.
I went for a job as a lumberjack, they asked have you done it before and where, I said I have do e it before it was in the Sahara, They said, that is a desert, I said, it is now.
A coach load of Irish were on a mystery tour so they had a sweepstake to guess where they may end up, the coach driver won £52.
I went to the local library I asked have you any books on suicide, The lady said they have but they never bring them back.
I like telling jokes but I often up hoarse after a run..
So, with that in mind...
Try not to laugh too hard…
A white horse walks into a pub and asks for a whisky. The landlord says: "Hey, we've got a whisky named after you." The horse replies: "What, George?"
A horse trudges slowly into a pub and orders a drink. “Evenin’” says the barman, “why the long face?” "Really" says the horse "Like you need ask..."
A horse walks into a smart cocktail bar. The doorman says: “Wait you can’t come in here without a tie.” The horse goes out to his car, looks in the boot and gets a set of jump leads, which he ties around his neck. He goes back in and says to the barman: “This alright?” The barman says: “Hmm, ok... but don’t you be starting anything.”
A poorly-looking horse limps into a bar with a bandage round his head. He orders a glass of champagne, a vintage brandy and two pints of Guinness. He downs the lot and says to the barman: “I shouldn’t really be drinking this with what I’ve got?” “Why, what have you got?” “About £2 and a carrot.”
Which side of a horse has more hair? The outside
What’s a horse’s favourite TV show? Neigh-bours
An Irish racehorse owner takes his horse to the vet. “Will I be able to race this horse again?,” he asks The vet replies: “Oh, to be sure, to be sure you will, let me know when and I'll have my money on you winning it!
Did you hear about the depressed horse? He told a tale of whoa!
A dead horse walks into a bar and orders a whisky. “I’m sorry, sir,” says the barman. “We don’t serve spirits.
Black Beauty, aye, now that one's definitely a dark horse for you!
A bartender owns a horse who is laughing all day, and whatever he tries nothing helpes. So he put a sign on the bar: The one that makes my horse crying will get 200 pound. Several people tried it, nothing helps. Than an Italian Stallion comes in the pub, he reeds the sign, and asks: Where's that laughing horse. The bartender said: In the stable, come on, I'll show you. So they entered the stable and the Italian whispers something in the ears of that horse, who now explodes with laughter. The bartender said: See, it won't work, I'll go back to the pub. While he left the stable suddenly the horse starts to cry. Well, I'll be damned, how did you manage to let him cry? the bartender asked astonished. Well, said the Italian. I first whispered in his ear that my willy was longer than his. He exploded with laughter, but then I showed him I was right.
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bring a smile or a laugh to some people on here,
I played in a band in Bermuda and the guy on the triangle disappeared.
I went for a job as a lumberjack, they asked have you done it before and where,
I said I have do e it before it was in the Sahara,
They said, that is a desert, I said, it is now.
A coach load of Irish were on a mystery tour so they had a sweepstake to guess
where they may end up, the coach driver won £52.
I went to the local library I asked have you any books on suicide,
The lady said they have but they never bring them back.