THE INABILITY TO BE ONESELF ( Archived) (59)

It seems your thread has become a discussion of alcohol, that "social lubricant", Juliette. Whereas I THOUGHT your intent/desire was a discussion of "insecurity".

You open with the statement, "Too many times we are misunderstood in life." I have SOMETHING of a problem WITH that statement. MY thoughts run more to "WHEN are we EVER "UNDERSTOOD", in life?" Now, PLEASE, don't get me wrong! I understand/perceive the import of your statement, as well as its relationship to "insecurity". And I CAN'T speak for anyone ELSE, but THIS is the way "I" see it. (And I might mention that I AM an artist-ic/creative person, since you expressed a desire for thoughts of such.)

We ALL have a desire to BE "understood"! But it's INHERENT, in the nature of language, that the words that we use to communicate, have as many "meanings", as the people hearing those words. (AS language is an avocation of mine, being a writer, amongst other things, I've "studied" language for a number of years.) And, since it's INHERENT that words MEAN different things, to different people, the desire/hope/EXPECTATION that we'll BE understood, is just that! A desire/hope/EXPECTATION! And, as an expectation, can/will lead only to disappointment. TO desire/hope/expect that one WILL BE "understood", is silly/foolish. But, we're inculcated with the IDEA that language IS the method of communicating, from birth. And, as the old saying goes, "Hope springs eternal!" It's "human nature" to "hope/desire/expect". And it's this desire/hope/expectation from which our "insecurity" springs. We're "insecure" (about being understood), because our experiences have taught us that we WON'T be! The FACT that we are EVER understood IS more amazing, than the FACT that we USUALLY aren't!

But, IF your concern is the insecurity engendered by the failures of communication, then there IS a "quick fix"! STOP EXPECTING to be understood, and you'll eliminate the insecurities of BEING misunderstood! It's the EXPECTATION of being understood, that leads to our disappointment! And thus, our insecurity(s).

"I", personally, am one of the LEAST "insecure", or insecure FEELING individuals you're likely to bump into. Why? Because #1. I've LONG SINCE accepted my death! Death IS our birthright! It is/was the ONE THING we were ALL guaranteed, on the day we came into the world. So I look at, deal with, walk through life AS IF I were ALREADY dead! So NONE of the "stuff" that happens to me, WHILE I STILL live, is perceived as of LASTING importance. Life, and EVERYTHING that occurs IN/DURING it, is transient. The old saying, "This, TOO, shall pass." #2. Being "insecure" is SOLELY a response to our expectations. We FEEL insecure, because we HAVE expectations (about our "futures"). So, to the degree possible (for ME), I've eliminated expectations from my life. The less expectations I have, the less insecurity I have. I'm NOT saying that I NEVER have any "anxiety" (ANOTHER word for insecurity)! But I recognise them for what they are. And AM (pretty much) able to "dismiss" them.

There's a lot of other things I COULD say, but I'm running out of space. And most people who read this stuff, don't have the interest or attention span, to read THIS much. So, IF you have a desire/need to read more, let me know.

Hello Let_Us First off I've never touched a drop of alcohol,2nd I can tell that at times you have been misunderstood by many and even I've been guilty of that myself.

Why - Thank you, BW! I THINK that's the FIRST time you've come CLOSE to complimenting me! I'm somewhat surprised, but sincere in my esteem.

Let_Us Welcome. I don't usually give someone a compliment unless I really and truly mean.

This is the response I love the most ...xx

What response would that be?

Wow.....thank you so much for your response...I've come home tonight (with a few on board), so I absolutely want to give you respect, & answer when completely sober, & when I can fully digest your comment!! But this is what I love & mean....challenges...deeper thinking ...more people like you x

Sorry Bearwoman....been a very long time since I was in forum....on a crappy phone.. Will respond when I figure it out... :-)

That's ok.