Were you abused by a man because you did not want to communicate with him? (177)

Jul 11, 2018 2:39 PM CST Were you abused by a man because you did not want to communicate with him?
Let_Us
Let_UsLet_UsAnaheim, California USA12 Threads 2,269 Posts
Asparcle: Yes! Exactly. They do what they meant to do. All of us. The difference is that the meaning of what we have to do is different for everybody. Wonder why this thread upset you? It is not about one man, it is about all the similar men. I thought that was a clear message.
confused NO! NOT "clear", at all! doh grin rolling on the floor laughing
Jul 11, 2018 3:13 PM CST Were you abused by a man because you did not want to communicate with him?
Nikkitasweet77
Nikkitasweet77Nikkitasweet77San salvador, El Salvador4 Posts
Yes, that happenned to me today, I didnt want to communicate with a latin guy from USA because he was too much stalker so I decided dont talk to him anymore ( we only had 1 day texting) so today he sent me an email insulting me....Its not fair, I think we are free with who to chat :(
Jul 11, 2018 3:16 PM CST Were you abused by a man because you did not want to communicate with him?
Let_Us
Let_UsLet_UsAnaheim, California USA12 Threads 2,269 Posts
Yeah_Nah: Speak your truth.....speak the truth, you poor thing

Perhaps it's about time you stopped the victim roll. You are quite funny though

Sorry to say, you are still white even though you prefer black.

Are you the most dumbest on net? Love yourself and stop pretending., you'll be the last blond.......BTW, Merc isn't actually caucasian, nor is she what?


PATHETIC, you poor thing.

Hey, but don't forget to have a hug amongst your sickly vomit.....The world loves you

Grow up
confused Just one little question, whoever you are. Have you EVER considered TAKING your own advice? I mean, you're telling Rachie to "Grow up"! Why don't you? You sound like a guy that got turned down, and can't handle the idea that a woman might NOT BE interested, in them! And, in Rachie's case, I think that she's just NOT interested in having a romantic relationship with ANYBODY, right now! But you've gotta get angry and start trying to rip her down to YOUR level! WHAT IS your problem, man? As YOU say, "GROW UP!"

And BEFORE you start trying to describe somebody, in UNFLATTERING terms, you SHOULD CHECK to make sure that the things you say, about them, don't apply to YOU! From looking at and reading YOUR post, of the 2 of you, I'd HAVE to say that YOU APPEAR MORE "pathetic", than SHE does! And "most dumbest"? IF you had bothered to attend English class, in school, you would have LEARNED that it's INCORRECT to use a double superlative! It's either "dumbest", or "most dumb"! Seems (to ME) like YOU are the "dummy"! Not her! And WHY would you bring Mercedes into your post, about Rachie? You have something to say, to/about Mercedes? Don't you know that common decency demands that you address such comments to THAT person? Why are you telling Rachie about whether, or not, Mercedes is a "caucasian"? #1. What makes you the "authority" on what or who Mercedes IS? #2. WHY should Rachie care, one way, or the other? Or are YOU STILL a "racist"? sigh And WHAT does being a blonde - first, last, or anywhere in between - have to do, with ANYTHING? And HOW do you KNOW she prefers "blacks"? Are YOU "black", that you've experienced her "preference"? And of WHAT consequence, to ANYTHING, is THAT, anyway - IF she does? Does it make her richer, or poorer? Healthier, or sicker? MORE, or LESS capable? More or less ANYTHING? Personally, "I" PREFER yellow! You know those little sugar coated yellow marshmallow chicken peeps they sell, around Easter! I JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH! Pink ones are okay! And I've even tried some blue ones! But MY "thing" is the yellow ones!

You know, friend, you really SHOULD read your post over, BEFORE you publish them. You MIGHT GET a glimpse of JUST HOW STUPID they make you look, if you did. But hey! It's YOUR image! You're welcome to appear as dumb as you OBVIOUSLY ARE, if you wish. dunno grin rolling on the floor laughing
Jul 11, 2018 3:32 PM CST Were you abused by a man because you did not want to communicate with him?
guysimple
guysimpleguysimpledelhi, India30 Threads 15 Polls 2,815 Posts
Nikkitasweet77: Yes, that happenned to me today, I didnt want to communicate with a latin guy from USA because he was too much stalker so I decided dont talk to him anymore ( we only had 1 day texting) so today he sent me an email insulting me....Its not fair, I think we are free with who to chat :(
comfort hug

Block him after abusing him badly...cool laugh
Jul 11, 2018 3:35 PM CST Were you abused by a man because you did not want to communicate with him?
Let_Us
Let_UsLet_UsAnaheim, California USA12 Threads 2,269 Posts
JaneA: I thoroughly agree....What gives anyone the right to be abusive to anyone here........?

To dismiss it give implicit permission......Im part of the speaking out brigade....Its time for both men and women to stop being abusive to each other...
rolling on the floor laughing To answer your question, #1. Abuse, itself. #2. Disseminating falsehood and opinion, in the guise of fact and truth. #3. Being sycophantic. I COULD go on with this list, but I don't see a point. In the first place, "abuse" is a SUBJECTIVE term! One person's "abuse" is another person's "chocolate sundae"! EVERYBODY defines the term, for themselves, in their own terms. There IS NO "one size fits all". You say "To dismiss it give implicit permission". It CAN be seen, in that light. But then, again, it CAN be seen, that NOT dismissing it, only encourages it, by giving such behavior UNDUE recognition! Or any of another 300 shades, in between.

You wanna BE a part of the "speaking out brigade", that fine. That's your choice, and your right. But that doesn't impart the right to condemn others for holding different views, to you. THAT would be "abusing" THEM! And i AGREE! It IS "time for both men and women to stop being abusive to each other"! But, quite honestly, I DON'T FORESEE it happening, in either the near, OR far term! But good luck, with promoting te idea! I'm ALL FOR you! handshake hug cheers grin
Jul 11, 2018 3:42 PM CST Were you abused by a man because you did not want to communicate with him?
Let_Us
Let_UsLet_UsAnaheim, California USA12 Threads 2,269 Posts
Mercedes_00: Really now?

This is your thread..How about you control the poster abusing Rachie on this thread of yours?
scold Nope! Sorry, M! But it's NOT JaneA's thread! It's "the poster abusing Rachie" (Asparcle) thread! And what gives ANYBODY the right to "control" what ANYBODY ELSE says, anyway? That's WHY they eliminated the "ban" button! As a means of ENHANCING "dialogue", between people! So PLEASE, DON'T suggest that they give Lee access to a "ban" button, again! Or NONE of us will be ABLE to say ANYTHING! doh THEN, what would ANY of us DO, for entertainment? Luv ya J hug cheers grin
Jul 11, 2018 3:45 PM CST Were you abused by a man because you did not want to communicate with him?
Let_Us
Let_UsLet_UsAnaheim, California USA12 Threads 2,269 Posts
pKrema: I objected the word "abuse" and pointed at your option to block the person who insulted you...or if it will make you feel better, send him an insulting mail too.
I suggest you start internet movement "Internet dating - me too"...
You are in a fish pond, love, you'll get anything...you want someone to protect you online in a place where your presence is voluntary ?
Are you expecting everyone to be nice and polite, what planet do you live on?!
Or may be every man should be police and psycho checked before joining...
Just wondering...
thumbs up applause head banger banana hug cheers yay cheering rolling on the floor laughing
Jul 11, 2018 4:03 PM CST Were you abused by a man because you did not want to communicate with him?
Let_Us
Let_UsLet_UsAnaheim, California USA12 Threads 2,269 Posts
Rachie14: If I have pushed a man a way it has always been for a good reason. Often being me not ready to take that step.

I am conscious to my own actions. However I am not responsible to how people deal with my actions.

I don't accept that either gender is not aware of what they are doing.
thumbs up I have NO problem with your answer, Rachie. I AGREE that MOST people ARE "aware" of WHAT they're doing, and how that behavior is being "received". And I agree that you SHOULDN'T be held "responsible" for another person's reaction TO your actions! But I don't recall having promoted EITHER of those "ideas". That people AREN'T aware, or that you CAN be blamed for other's actions. But I DO think that the "judgment" of whether a thing IS "abusive", is subjective! And, IF that is so, how DO you "police" it? I AGREE with your thoughts that we all deal with it, in whatever way WE DECIDE for ourselves, is "appropriate". I have NO problem with Asparcle creating this thread. But I DO think she could have "formatted" it, BETTER! I THINK it would have eliminated a lot of the back and forth "confrontationality" of this thread, if it had been formatted differently. But you KNOW "me"! I've NEVER been "timid", about speaking MY piece. And I'm VERY "flexible", in dealing with "situations/positions". handshake hug cheers grin
Jul 11, 2018 4:38 PM CST Were you abused by a man because you did not want to communicate with him?
Let_Us
Let_UsLet_UsAnaheim, California USA12 Threads 2,269 Posts
Rachie14: If I have pushed a man a way it has always been for a good reason. Often being me not ready to take that step.

I am conscious to my own actions. However I am not responsible to how people deal with my actions.

I don't accept that either gender is not aware of what they are doing.
wave Hey Rachie. I just finished reading over my post to you, that you were responding to, here. And I "get" what you were commenting on. You SAY that you're "conscious" of your actions. And IF your actions are brought to your attention, I'm SURE you are. But MY contention is/was that, MANY times, we "act" with VOLITION, but NOT awareness! As an example, I used driving to work. It's something most of us do it INNUMERABLE times. And, over time, we establish a "pattern" of doing it. And that pattern gets embedded in our mind/body. (Are you familiar with the term "muscle memory"?) Until you CAN, and often DO do it, by that "pattern" you've established! And NOT by "conscious awareness" of DOING it! Have you ever watched a basketball player shoot free throws, blindfolded? Surprisingly, they CAN do it! Sorta COUNTER-intuitive! But they've done it SOOO many times, that they CAN do it, WITHOUT "seeing" the basket! This is what I'm talking about. MANY things we do, in our lives, are done so many times, that we CAN do them, WITHOUT BEING "consciously aware" that we're doing them, UNLESS someone points out TO us, that we're doing them. It's this "muscle memory" that allows us to plan our vacation, while we're driving to work. Your SUBCONSCIOUS KNOWS where there turns are, so you DON'T HAVE to BE "consciously aware" of where the turns are. And THAT was my comment about people NOT being "aware". We're on "autopilot", MUCH MORE than we're "IN" the moment. You can ask any psychologist, or scientist that studies the mind. It's THIS "FACT" that makes "habits" so hard to break. We DO the thing WITHOUT "THINKING" about it! It's a "habit"! We're "habituated"! And it's this "autopilot" that controls approximately 75% of our actions/behaviors! You CAN say you're driving the car! But, if you're "studied", it's NOT "you" that driving your car, it that habituated part of your mind that's driving the car. While "YOU" are off, "planning" tonight's date! Does THAT make my point any "clearer", to you? It's a measured and test FACT, that MOST of our "life" is lived under the "direction" of our "autopilot". By MORE than a 3 to 1 ratio. Which is WHY/HOW - the BASIS - of my statement that MOST OF US AREN'T "aware" of what we're doing/saying. We ARE doing and saying! But it's NOT "US" that doing and saying those things! hug cheers grin
Jul 12, 2018 1:20 AM CST Were you abused by a man because you did not want to communicate with him?
Rachie14
Rachie14Rachie14Stafford, Staffordshire UK1 Threads 3,289 Posts
Hello J,

Here is the collins defination of abuse, it is actually classed as verbal abuse "noun
abuse or insults made using (esp spoken) language, as opposes to physical abuse"
by that was the OP abused? Yes. Was there a need to call her a whore? No. Do I think the OP has gone to far? Yes. Do I think she has the right to be upset? Yes.

Do I think we as a an online forum community supported her. No. We dismissed it as a whole (not personally) we basically told her to get over it.Block and move on. Now, I am not stepping into his mind of why he did, because that to me is trying to justify his behaviour. I simply don't. Could we have supported her more? Yes, we could of offered more empathy.

Now we have two threads which are very similiar to what 2 women are trying to say. Is is it we have become so desensitized to how people can be online that we have brushed it off?

We are all very aware of our own actions, when people make a thread or a post we know what is right or wrong be it we are emotionally or unemotionally attached to our responses.

So, I'll address what you said to the Yeah-Nah. What you may or may not be aware of is messages the poster sent to myself. In fact no different thant the ones you have seen on the forum. Now, they're great messages right? (sarcasm) yet he cannnot and does not understand a) I have no desire to communicate with him and b) Clearly as to why. But no he could not leave it alone. So decided to quote me in other threads. I ignored him, in fact I have ignored him until one point on another thread which you saw. Not acceptable, not wanted and I cannot control him. Only he can and he makes the choice not too. Is it still acceptable? NO. Yet, how many people said something? I counted three. Merc, Jane and you.
Jul 15, 2018 6:30 PM CST Were you abused by a man because you did not want to communicate with him?
JaneA
JaneAJaneALimerick, Ireland1 Threads 42 Posts
Let_Us: Just one little question, whoever you are. Have you EVER considered TAKING your own advice? I mean, you're telling Rachie to "Grow up"! Why don't you? You sound like a guy that got turned down, and can't handle the idea that a woman might NOT BE interested, in them! And, in Rachie's case, I think that she's just NOT interested in having a romantic relationship with ANYBODY, right now! But you've gotta get angry and start trying to rip her down to YOUR level! WHAT IS your problem, man? As YOU say, "GROW UP!"

And BEFORE you start trying to describe somebody, in UNFLATTERING terms, you SHOULD CHECK to make sure that the things you say, about them, don't apply to YOU! From looking at and reading YOUR post, of the 2 of you, I'd HAVE to say that YOU APPEAR MORE "pathetic", than SHE does! And "most dumbest"? IF you had bothered to attend English class, in school, you would have LEARNED that it's INCORRECT to use a double superlative! It's either "dumbest", or "most dumb"! Seems (to ME) like YOU are the "dummy"! Not her! And WHY would you bring Mercedes into your post, about Rachie? You have something to say, to/about Mercedes? Don't you know that common decency demands that you address such comments to THAT person? Why are you telling Rachie about whether, or not, Mercedes is a "caucasian"? #1. What makes you the "authority" on what or who Mercedes IS? #2. WHY should Rachie care, one way, or the other? Or are YOU STILL a "racist"? And WHAT does being a blonde - first, last, or anywhere in between - have to do, with ANYTHING? And HOW do you KNOW she prefers "blacks"? Are YOU "black", that you've experienced her "preference"? And of WHAT consequence, to ANYTHING, is THAT, anyway - IF she does? Does it make her richer, or poorer? Healthier, or sicker? MORE, or LESS capable? More or less ANYTHING? Personally, "I" PREFER yellow! You know those little sugar coated yellow marshmallow chicken peeps they sell, around Easter! I JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH! Pink ones are okay! And I've even tried some blue ones! But MY "thing" is the yellow ones!

You know, friend, you really SHOULD read your post over, BEFORE you publish them. You MIGHT GET a glimpse of JUST HOW STUPID they make you look, if you did. But hey! It's YOUR image! You're welcome to appear as dumb as you OBVIOUSLY ARE, if you wish.
You are my definition of a real man with heart......Thank you for that post
Jul 15, 2018 6:55 PM CST Were you abused by a man because you did not want to communicate with him?
JaneA
JaneAJaneALimerick, Ireland1 Threads 42 Posts
Rachie14: Hello J,

Here is the collins defination of abuse, it is actually classed as verbal abuse "noun
abuse or insults made using (esp spoken) language, as opposes to physical abuse" by that was the OP abused? Yes. Was there a need to call her a whore? No. Do I think the OP has gone to far? Yes. Do I think she has the right to be upset? Yes.

Do I think we as a an online forum community supported her. No. We dismissed it as a whole (not personally) we basically told her to get over it.Block and move on. Now, I am not stepping into his mind of why he did, because that to me is trying to justify his behaviour. I simply don't. Could we have supported her more? Yes, we could of offered more empathy.

Now we have two threads which are very similiar to what 2 women are trying to say. Is is it we have become so desensitized to how people can be online that we have brushed it off?

We are all very aware of our own actions, when people make a thread or a post we know what is right or wrong be it we are emotionally or unemotionally attached to our responses.

So, I'll address what you said to the Yeah-Nah. What you may or may not be aware of is messages the poster sent to myself. In fact no different thant the ones you have seen on the forum. Now, they're great messages right? (sarcasm) yet he cannnot and does not understand a) I have no desire to communicate with him and b) Clearly as to why. But no he could not leave it alone. So decided to quote me in other threads. I ignored him, in fact I have ignored him until one point on another thread which you saw. Not acceptable, not wanted and I cannot control him. Only he can and he makes the choice not too. Is it still acceptable? NO. Yet, how many people said something? I counted three. Merc, Jane and you.
Well said Girl.....Dont lose your niceness, authenticity and opinions for any one.....you are courageous and articulate... and abusing you is not acceptable....as I said before.....nothing wrong with discussion or opinions.....but also to your abusers.....no means no......so get lost.
Jul 17, 2018 2:03 PM CST Were you abused by a man because you did not want to communicate with him?
Asparcle
AsparcleAsparcleColne, Lancashire, England UK1 Threads 33 Posts
Nikkitasweet77: Yes, that happenned to me today, I didnt want to communicate with a latin guy from USA because he was too much stalker so I decided dont talk to him anymore ( we only had 1 day texting) so today he sent me an email insulting me....Its not fair, I think we are free with who to chat :(
hug
Jul 17, 2018 2:24 PM CST Were you abused by a man because you did not want to communicate with him?
Asparcle
AsparcleAsparcleColne, Lancashire, England UK1 Threads 33 Posts
Hmmmm... many of commenters said i should not make this thread out of the such an unimportant thing as an abuse online for nothing. Though!! I can see how many people are interested in this topic. So, it must be some truth in what I tried to discuss.professor kiss
Jul 17, 2018 3:56 PM CST Were you abused by a man because you did not want to communicate with him?
Rachie14
Rachie14Rachie14Stafford, Staffordshire UK1 Threads 3,289 Posts
Asparcle: Hmmmm... many of commenters said i should not make this thread out of the such an unimportant thing as an abuse online for nothing. Though!! I can see how many people are interested in this topic. So, it must be some truth in what I tried to discuss.
No, you did not talk about people being abused. Your focus was you and you only with regards to one man.

What you did was wrong and you were not interested beyond that.
Jul 17, 2018 7:12 PM CST Were you abused by a man because you did not want to communicate with him?
Im pretty sure as adults we can all handle comments we dislike or feel are disrespectful by now....so by giving a solution that's a resolution whereby it seems the op thinks she can change people....op you can either accept there are disrespectful people in this world and choose how you resolve things for yourself or you can continue to live in the illusion that you can change people and that people will always behave the way you want them too....wine
Jul 17, 2018 7:22 PM CST Were you abused by a man because you did not want to communicate with him?
It's always been my understanding that threads created for the sole purpose of attacking another member were prohibbitted so, it surprise and worries me to see this here.

As for the OP ... you look way too old be acting like such a precious snowflake ...

Sh*t happens get over it ... be grateful you found out this person was (in your opinion) abusive !

And to the rest of the viewers also 'Keep in mind that some people here have double standards' their idea of 'polite' outgoing may not be on a par with what they consider polite / abusive when it's incoming to them.

teddybear
Post Comment - Post a comment on this Forum Thread
 
We use cookies to ensure that you have the best experience possible on our website. Read Our Privacy Policy Here