Rachie14Stafford, Staffordshire, England UK2,330 posts
Wife's Loving Relationship Seminar Advice to Attendees..... A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husbands. The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?" All the women raised their hands. Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?" Some women answered today, a few yesterday, and some couldn't remember. The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband - "I love you, Sweetheart." Next the women were instructed to exchange phones with one another and read aloud the text message they received in response to their message. Below are 12 hilarious replies. If you have been married for quite a while, you understand that these replies are a sign of true love. Who else would reply in such a succinct and honest way? 1. Who the hell is this? 2. Eh, mother of my children, are you crook or what? 3. Yeah, and I love you too. What's wrong? 4. What now? Did you wreck the car again? 5. I don't understand what you mean. 6. What the hell have you done now? 8 Don't beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need. 9. Am I dreaming? 10. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die a slow agonising death!. 11. I thought we agreed you wouldn't drink during the day. (My personal favorite!) 12. Your mother is coming to stay with us, isn't she?
Rachie14: Wife's Loving Relationship Seminar Advice to Attendees..... A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husbands. The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?" All the women raised their hands. Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?" Some women answered today, a few yesterday, and some couldn't remember. The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband - "I love you, Sweetheart." Next the women were instructed to exchange phones with one another and read aloud the text message they received in response to their message. Below are 12 hilarious replies. If you have been married for quite a while, you understand that these replies are a sign of true love. Who else would reply in such a succinct and honest way? 1. Who the hell is this? 2. Eh, mother of my children, are you crook or what? 3. Yeah, and I love you too. What's wrong? 4. What now? Did you wreck the car again? 5. I don't understand what you mean. 6. What the hell have you done now? 8 Don't beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need. 9. Am I dreaming? 10. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die a slow agonising death!. 11. I thought we agreed you wouldn't drink during the day. (My personal favorite!) 12. Your mother is coming to stay with us, isn't she?
Brilliant! (your ventriloquist joke is as old as the hills.......sorry.
Rachie14Stafford, Staffordshire, England UK2,330 posts
One Sunday night, the preacher asked for testimonies and prayer requests. One woman stood up and said, "Sister and Brothers, please pray for me. This has been a very trying week. That old devil has done everything in his power to make me miserable. Pray that I will have the fortitude to persevere." As she sat down, her husband stood up and said, "Brothers and Sisters, I want you to know, she ain't the easiest woman to get along with neither."
PeKaatjeAnkeveen, North Holland Netherlands6,334 posts
A young guy is sitting in the cinema next to an old lady. After the movie's going on for about 10 minutes the woman touched his hand and then gave him a handful of peanuts. 10 minutes later again. And ten minutes later again. When there is a pause the guy asks: If you don't like peanuts, why do you buy them? The woman replies: I like peanuts but forgot my fake teeth, so all I do is suck the chocolate from them.
If he was a real gentleman he should have chewed the peanuts for her and give her a long deep soul kiss and she could suck the peanut pulp out of his mouth. eeeuw
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Put 'em below, let's have some laughs. I'm expecting many to be NSFW, pah, we're adults, let's 'ave 'em anyway! :)