An Italian boy goes to confession ( Archived) (23)

Short after worldwar 2 a man entered a dutch pub. He taps his throat and out of the pocket of his shirt the barman hears a voice: One beer please?
After the first follows a second, and after the thrid beer the barman says: What a strange way of talking?
The customer taps his throat again and out of his pocket the voice says: Bullet in my throat at the Grebbenberg.

(The Grebbenberg was the most important dutch defence at the beginning of the war, 1000's of people died and the germans walked over us in one day)

The barman answers: Because you have fought so well for us all the beer is on the house tonight.
The customer taps his throat again: Danke schön.

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A beautyfull young girl, a dutchman, a german and mother superior are in the train through the swiss alpes.
When the train enteres a tunnel it becomes very dark.
Suddenly they hear a smack. When they leave the tunnel they see the German with his hand on his black eye.
The mother superior thinks: He touched that lovely young girl and she hits him.
The girl thinks: He tried to touch me, in stead he touched mother superior and she hits him
The German thinks: That dutch guy touched the girl and by mistake she hits me.
The dutchmen thinks: In the next tunnel I'll blacken his other eye.

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A belgian in Holland enters the border between Belgium and Holland on his bike, with a bag of 10 kg with sand on his luggage carrier. What's in the bag asks the customs officer? 10 kg of sand sir. The officer don't trust it and empties the bag. He can't find anything and the Belgian may pass. The next day the same story, year after year goes by and then the officer is retired. He meets the Belgian in the pub and he asked: Now I am retired, can you please tell me what you were smuggling all these years?
Bicycles

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What's the difference between a guy from Syria and a jew?
The guy from Syria would love to go to Germany by train.

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The English soccerteam has played somewhere in Brasilia and on the way home there plane crashes in the middle of nowhere. Only four of the players survive the crash, allthough one is badly wounded.
They decide to take all the food and drinking in the plane with them and they start to search for a city.

After six days the food is gone and the next day wounded guy dies.
They decide to eat him, and the first one says: Let's eats the part that fits with the name of our soccerclub. I'm playing for manchester, so I'll eat his chest.
The second one says: I'm playing with liverpool, so I'll eat his liver.
The third one says: I'm playing for arsenal, and I ain't hungry.

I would let them in, play some music from Venom and Slayer and show them the satanic bible. lol