To tell Comforting lie or Hurtful truth...why? (36)
ChesneyChristManchester, Greater Manchester, England UK7,144 PostsChesneyChrist: It's not really about the truth or lie because women are suspicious of the kindness displayed by soliciting males be they genuine or not. The sense that he's trying to curry favour because he doesn't think he's good enough is what she does want to perceive, if she was objectively the most beautiful girl in the world telling her this truth early on would be akin to shooting yourself in the foot. Telling her she's the most beautiful girl in the whole wide room would be better, technically it's still true but it's not quite kind is it? It's less true than the truth but more entertaining, it's the massaged truth you're aiming at around women.
does not want*------ This thread is Archived ------
Chestney thank you for your great insight
it really depends on situation ....It doesn't mean that if we lie or say the truth there should be consideration in every situation that arise
it really depends on situation ....It doesn't mean that if we lie or say the truth there should be consideration in every situation that arise ------ This thread is Archived ------
You could just as easily be lying to conceal honourable intentions. That's the point I'm making. If you really really like the girl you have to make some effort to disguise it because she has come to you. If you can't honestly claim that you don't care then you have to pretend to care less than you do through a course of discomforting lies and compliments which leave the receiver never quite sure whether it was a compliment or not.
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There's no straight answer to your question Isabel...
Jumping in defence of the truth and nothing but the whole truth seems an easy but not well thought through move...
There are times when remaining silent is more hurtful than telling the truth...
And times when colouring the truth brings a warm feeling of comfort to the other one, and they know why you did it...and they are grateful...
Jumping in defence of the truth and nothing but the whole truth seems an easy but not well thought through move...
There are times when remaining silent is more hurtful than telling the truth...
And times when colouring the truth brings a warm feeling of comfort to the other one, and they know why you did it...and they are grateful...
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pKrema: There's no straight answer to your question Isabel...
Jumping in defence of the truth and nothing but the whole truth seems an easy but not well thought through move...
There are times when remaining silent is more hurtful than telling the truth...
And times when colouring the truth brings a warm feeling of comfort to the other one, and they know why you did it...and they are grateful...
Hola beautiful pkremaJumping in defence of the truth and nothing but the whole truth seems an easy but not well thought through move...
There are times when remaining silent is more hurtful than telling the truth...
And times when colouring the truth brings a warm feeling of comfort to the other one, and they know why you did it...and they are grateful...
There are things I jave learned and realized from Chestney's comment and yes we are not really digging into the straight one but to discover and learn while we share
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ChesneyChrist: You could just as easily be lying to conceal honourable intentions. That's the point I'm making. If you really really like the girl you have to make some effort to disguise it because she has come to you. If you can't honestly claim that you don't care then you have to pretend to care less than you do through a course of discomforting lies and compliments which leave the receiver never quite sure whether it was a compliment or not.
Playing it coool is the only way to counter the feminine preference for sociopathy. You're competing against her favourite which is the heartless man who pretends to care just enough to prevent her from becoming too intimidated, now we can't all be as mad as him because nothing in civilisation would work and we'd go back to the caves but we can at times forget civilisation and behave as he does. Bring out the devil because that's who she listens to particularly when she's in Eden - the irony of decadent western society is its respect for and arousal by the barbarian, civilisation-building traits are least desired by the civilised.------ This thread is Archived ------
ysabeljhen: Let’s compare, shall we?
Hurtful truth:
‘This is what happened. And this is how I truly feel. I am really sorry. But I thought you deserved to know the truth. I know it really hurts but I am here, to help you get over it. Let me know what can I do to make things better.’
Comforting lie:
‘Ofcourse, I'm saying the truth. I have no reason to lie to you. I love you, you know that right? I will never do something that might hurt you even a little. I love you. I love everything about you. You're just perfect.’
When you use the first one, it will hurt and kill and bleed. But it will heal faster. Infact, the other person might allow you to be there to help them heal. You will be respected.
When you use the second one, it won't hurt now at all. But it will keep piling up till one day, the truth just comes out. You will make the other person feel that everything you ever said was a lie. Pure lie just to comfort them. You will be regretted.
No matter how hard it is, always choose the truth.
Mr Putin is a pretty smart fella and he was asked a very similar question Hurtful truth:
‘This is what happened. And this is how I truly feel. I am really sorry. But I thought you deserved to know the truth. I know it really hurts but I am here, to help you get over it. Let me know what can I do to make things better.’
Comforting lie:
‘Ofcourse, I'm saying the truth. I have no reason to lie to you. I love you, you know that right? I will never do something that might hurt you even a little. I love you. I love everything about you. You're just perfect.’
When you use the first one, it will hurt and kill and bleed. But it will heal faster. Infact, the other person might allow you to be there to help them heal. You will be respected.
When you use the second one, it won't hurt now at all. But it will keep piling up till one day, the truth just comes out. You will make the other person feel that everything you ever said was a lie. Pure lie just to comfort them. You will be regretted.
No matter how hard it is, always choose the truth.
His reply ' There's never any need to hurt another person with 'your wisdom'
You're notions as to 'what will happen' are well wide of the mark ...
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ysabeljhen: Hola beautiful pkrema
There are things I jave learned and realized from Chestney's comment and yes we are not really digging into the straight one but to discover and learn while we share
Sometimes it seems like playing the right game... especially when it comes to dating or at least its early stages...There are things I jave learned and realized from Chestney's comment and yes we are not really digging into the straight one but to discover and learn while we share
I prefer the truth and nothing but the whole truth from the get go in this case...
Games are games, whatever angle you want to look at them... sooner or later they cause pain and loss of trust...
Skipping or colouring the truth in relationships is never a good idea...
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ysabeljhen: M4
It reminds me of one situation I had once when I was caught on the act
the first I thought was to lie to get an excused but I realized it would just make it complicated so I accepted and told the truth even it hurts a bit
I wasn't caught at anything....I didn't wanna do something with a particular person who was pressuring me and caught me off guard......It reminds me of one situation I had once when I was caught on the act
the first I thought was to lie to get an excused but I realized it would just make it complicated so I accepted and told the truth even it hurts a bit
99 percent of the time I will just say it like it is although tactfully.....
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Long story short never go to any great lengths reassuring a woman. You're a shoulder to cry on - a silent shoulder to cry on - and when the situation is terribly bad you offer sympathetic noises instead of solutions. True or not the less you say, the better. Another favourite of woman is the strong silent type, he is the relatively innocent favourite. To see woman and the world as it is, but keep your mouth shut is great policy.
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I've been called a blunt truth teller by lots of people in my life, but I know sometimes its better not to know the truth.
Like. for example, if a doctor detects that a 70 year old man has Prostate cancer. The doctor knows that they odds are that something else will kill the man before the Prostate cancer even begins to be a problem for the man as at that age cancer spreeads extremely slowly. He also knows that the treatment for the cancer will shorten the mans life and make the rest of his life full of pain and discomfort. So, does the doctor
(a) Tell the man, knowing that is will make the guy anxious and that he is likely to insist on having it removed even though this will shorten his life, or
(b) tell the guy that the tests are all clear, knowing that the mans quality of life will be better because of the lie.
Personally I would go with B.
Like. for example, if a doctor detects that a 70 year old man has Prostate cancer. The doctor knows that they odds are that something else will kill the man before the Prostate cancer even begins to be a problem for the man as at that age cancer spreeads extremely slowly. He also knows that the treatment for the cancer will shorten the mans life and make the rest of his life full of pain and discomfort. So, does the doctor
(a) Tell the man, knowing that is will make the guy anxious and that he is likely to insist on having it removed even though this will shorten his life, or
(b) tell the guy that the tests are all clear, knowing that the mans quality of life will be better because of the lie.
Personally I would go with B.
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Sir_T: I've been called a blunt truth teller by lots of people in my life, but I know sometimes its better not to know the truth.
Like. for example, if a doctor detects that a 70 year old man has Prostate cancer. The doctor knows that they odds are that something else will kill the man before the Prostate cancer even begins to be a problem for the man as at that age cancer spreeads extremely slowly. He also knows that the treatment for the cancer will shorten the mans life and make the rest of his life full of pain and discomfort. So, does the doctor
(a) Tell the man, knowing that is will make the guy anxious and that he is likely to insist on having it removed even though this will shorten his life, or
(b) tell the guy that the tests are all clear, knowing that the mans quality of life will be better because of the lie.
Personally I would go with B.
A doctor should never lie...and emotions are a bad adviser when it comes to health related issues...Like. for example, if a doctor detects that a 70 year old man has Prostate cancer. The doctor knows that they odds are that something else will kill the man before the Prostate cancer even begins to be a problem for the man as at that age cancer spreeads extremely slowly. He also knows that the treatment for the cancer will shorten the mans life and make the rest of his life full of pain and discomfort. So, does the doctor
(a) Tell the man, knowing that is will make the guy anxious and that he is likely to insist on having it removed even though this will shorten his life, or
(b) tell the guy that the tests are all clear, knowing that the mans quality of life will be better because of the lie.
Personally I would go with B.
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pKrema: A doctor should never lie...and emotions are a bad adviser when it comes to health related issues...
I agree about the Dr even when it is bad news.I am as guilty as the next man when it comes t the little platitudes oiling our social and love life.
Telling her she is beautiful when she looks like she's been dragged through a hedge backwards, in the morning, she knows you are fibbing, and doesn't mind to much.
But black lies are a no no, they save up grief for everyone in the long run. There comes a time when you must be honest and take the consequences, but with sensitivity and care.
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Sir_T: I've been called a blunt truth teller by lots of people in my life, but I know sometimes its better not to know the truth.
Like. for example, if a doctor detects that a 70 year old man has Prostate cancer. The doctor knows that they odds are that something else will kill the man before the Prostate cancer even begins to be a problem for the man as at that age cancer spreeads extremely slowly. He also knows that the treatment for the cancer will shorten the mans life and make the rest of his life full of pain and discomfort. So, does the doctor
(a) Tell the man, knowing that is will make the guy anxious and that he is likely to insist on having it removed even though this will shorten his life, or
(b) tell the guy that the tests are all clear, knowing that the mans quality of life will be better because of the lie.
Personally I would go with B.
I don't agree....its not only unethical you take away his right to choose......that's not up to you do decide his health choices.....Like. for example, if a doctor detects that a 70 year old man has Prostate cancer. The doctor knows that they odds are that something else will kill the man before the Prostate cancer even begins to be a problem for the man as at that age cancer spreeads extremely slowly. He also knows that the treatment for the cancer will shorten the mans life and make the rest of his life full of pain and discomfort. So, does the doctor
(a) Tell the man, knowing that is will make the guy anxious and that he is likely to insist on having it removed even though this will shorten his life, or
(b) tell the guy that the tests are all clear, knowing that the mans quality of life will be better because of the lie.
Personally I would go with B.
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when Ivan Yates was the Minister for agriculture in Ireland I tried to attack him but I was restrained by security guards he was sending me private emails trying to debunk crop rotation
a couple of days after that incident I decided I would set up Ireland's first Renault tractor club but only people from Co Waterford were interested
which proved my point in a very unorthodox fashion
I also coined the phrase
liquid mountaineering
a couple of days after that incident I decided I would set up Ireland's first Renault tractor club but only people from Co Waterford were interested
which proved my point in a very unorthodox fashion
I also coined the phrase
liquid mountaineering
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The truth always, but you can be tactful about it. You don't look at a 7 year old and say "hey yo, your mudder's dead".
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