Closing sermon.............funny (6)
Like all of them
Packersbabe1: Like all of them
Lol me too who thinks up these jokes 
Shall We Gather at the River
Catchup7: Shall We Gather at the River
Lol meet you there? JennyI like them all but the "Catholic dog"is very good and it is so typical 
Jenny
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Created: Mar 2019
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A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression, he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."
And then finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."
He sat down. The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn # 365: "Shall We Gather at the River."
Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company.
One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, "Father, me dog is dead.
Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor creature?"
Father Patrick replied, "I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church.
But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe.
Maybe they'll do something for the creature."
Muldoon said, "I'll go right away, Father.
Do ya' think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?"
Father Patrick exclaimed, "Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus!
Why did ya' not tell me the dog was Catholic?
Father O'Malley answers the phone. "Hello, is this Father O'Malley?"
"It is"
"This is the IRS. Can you help us?"
"I can"
"Do you know a Ted Houlihan?"
"I do"
"Is he a member of your congregation?"
"He is"
"Did he donate $10,000 to the church?"
"He will".
Just A Second!
So this guy is talking to God and ask, "Hey God what does 100 million years seem like to you?"
God answered, " One hundred million years ? That's like a second to me."
Then the man ask, "Hey God, what's 100 million dollars seem like to you?"
One hundred million dollars? It seems like a penny to me."
So the guy says, "Hey God could I borrow a penny?"
And God answers, "Sure. Just a second."