These notes left for milkmen came from the UK, so you'll notice a slight, endearing British ambiance to them.
"Dear Milkman, I've just had a baby, please leave another one."
"Please leave an extra pint of paralyzed milk."
"Cancel one pint after the day after today."
"Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it"
"Milkman, please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk."
"Milkman, please could I have a loaf but not bread today."
"Please cancel milk. I have nothing coming into the house but two sons on the dole."
"Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks."
"Sorry about yesterday's note. I didn't mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way round."
"When you leave my milk, knock on my bedroom window and wake me because I want you to give me a hand to turn the mattress."
"Please knock. My TV's broken down and I missed last night's Coronation Street. If you saw it, will you tell me what happened over a cup of tea?"
"My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before you deliver or do I have to shake the bottle."
"Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbor told me."
"Please send me details about cheap milk as I am stagnant."
"Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it."
"From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays when I don't want any milk."
"My back door is open. Please put milk in 'fridge, get money out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen table in pence, because we want to play bingo tonight."
"Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday."
"When you leave the milk please put the coal on the boiler, let dog out and put newspaper inside the screen door. PS. Don't leave any milk."
"No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead until further notice."
bcjenny: These notes left for milkmen came from the UK, so you'll notice a slight, endearing British ambiance to them.
"Dear Milkman, I've just had a baby, please leave another one."
"Please leave an extra pint of paralyzed milk."
"Cancel one pint after the day after today."
"Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it"
"Milkman, please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk."
"Milkman, please could I have a loaf but not bread today."
"Please cancel milk. I have nothing coming into the house but two sons on the dole."
"Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks."
"Sorry about yesterday's note. I didn't mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way round."
"When you leave my milk, knock on my bedroom window and wake me because I want you to give me a hand to turn the mattress."
"Please knock. My TV's broken down and I missed last night's Coronation Street. If you saw it, will you tell me what happened over a cup of tea?"
"My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before you deliver or do I have to shake the bottle."
"Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbor told me."
"Please send me details about cheap milk as I am stagnant."
"Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it."
"From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays when I don't want any milk."
"My back door is open. Please put milk in 'fridge, get money out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen table in pence, because we want to play bingo tonight."
"Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday."
"When you leave the milk please put the coal on the boiler, let dog out and put newspaper inside the screen door. PS. Don't leave any milk."
"No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead until further notice."
bodleing2: Is that because you kept leaving the milkman stupid notes?
no but as kids we used to zoom in and swoop up as many ice cubes from the trays in delivery trucks.... yummy ... we were so poor we could afford ice cream so it was a big treat for us or any dog we gave an ice cube too.
galrads: no but as kids we used to zoom in and swoop up as many ice cubes from the trays in delivery trucks.... yummy ... we were so poor we could afford ice cream so it was a big treat for us or any dog we gave an ice cube too.
Ernie, The Fastest Milkman in the West...Benny Hill
Can anyone post this, don't seem to be able to post you tube vids on my phone.
You could hear the hoof beats pound As they raced across the ground And the clatter of the wheels As they spun round and round And he galloped into Market Street His badge upon his chest His name was Ernie And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west
Now Ernie loved a widow A lady known as Sue She lived all alone in Linley Lane At number twenty two They said she was too good for him She was haughty, proud and chic But Ernie got his cocoa there Three times every week They called him Ernie (Ernie) And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west
She said she'd like to bathe in milk He said alright sweetheart And when he finished work one night He loaded up the cart He said you wanted pasturised Coz pasturised is best She says Ernie I'll be happy If it comes up to me chest And that tickled old Ernie (Ernie) And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west
Now Ernie had a rival An evil looking man Called Two Ton Ted from Teddington And he drove the baker's van He tempted her with his treacle tarts And his tasty wholemeal bread And when she saw the size Of his hot meat pies It very near turned her head She nearly swooned at his macaroon And he said now if you treat me right You'll have hot rolls evry morning And crumpets every night He knew once she'd sampled his layer cake He'd have his wicked way And all Ernie had to offer Was a pint of milk a day Poor Ernie (Ernie) And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west
One lunchtime Ted saw Ernie's horse and cart outside her door It drove him mad to find it was still there at half past four And as he leaped down from of his van Hot blood through his veins did course And he went across to Ernie's cart And he didnarf kick his horse Who's name was Trigger (Trigger) And he pulled the fastest milkcart in the west
Now Ernie rushed out into the street His goldtop in his hand He said if you want to marry Susie You'll fight for her like a man Oh why don't we play cards for her He sneeringly replied And just to make it interesting We'll have a shilling on the side Now Ernie dragged him from his van And beneath the blazing sun They stood there face to face And Ted went for his bun But Ernie was to quick Things didn't go the way Ted planned And a strawberry flavoured youghurt Sent it spinning from his hand Now Sue she ran between them And tried to keep them apart And Ernie pushed her aside And a rock cake caught him underneath his heart And he looked up in pained surprise As the concrete hardened crust Of a stale pork pie caught him in the eye And Ernie bit the dust Poor Ernie (Ernie) And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west
Ernie was only fifty-two, he didn't want to die Now he's gone to make deliveries In that milkround in the sky Where the customers are angels And ferocious dogs are banned And a milkman's life is full of fun In that fairy dairy land But a woman's needs are many fold And Sue she married Ted But strange things happened on their wedding night As they lay in their bed Was that the trees a rustling Or the hinges of the gate Or Ernie's ghostly goldtop a rattling in their crate They won't forget Ernie (Ernie) And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west.
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"Dear Milkman, I've just had a baby, please leave another one."
"Please leave an extra pint of paralyzed milk."
"Cancel one pint after the day after today."
"Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it"
"Milkman, please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk."
"Milkman, please could I have a loaf but not bread today."
"Please cancel milk. I have nothing coming into the house but two sons on the dole."
"Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks."
"Sorry about yesterday's note. I didn't mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way round."
"When you leave my milk, knock on my bedroom window and wake me because I want you to give me a hand to turn the mattress."
"Please knock. My TV's broken down and I missed last night's Coronation Street. If you saw it, will you tell me what happened over a cup of tea?"
"My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before you deliver or do I have to shake the bottle."
"Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbor told me."
"Please send me details about cheap milk as I am stagnant."
"Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it."
"From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays when I don't want any milk."
"My back door is open. Please put milk in 'fridge, get money out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen table in pence, because we want to play bingo tonight."
"Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday."
"When you leave the milk please put the coal on the boiler, let dog out and put newspaper inside the screen door. PS. Don't leave any milk."
"No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead until further notice."