How often has Your Parents / Ex / Partner / Kids told you that they Love You? (34)
Is anyone allowed on your thread snookie
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TerryBull: Is anyone allowed on your thread snookie
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You better not let snookie see you here
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TerryBull: You better not let snookie see you here
She'll scream anf she'll scream until she's sick
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smiley963: Not many people say "I love you" easily. It very much depends on how many times it had been said to them in the past. You will become psychologically damaged from lack of attention and value to others, the less it happens.
People grow up in this condition, never finding love, staying single for a lifetime. Some people grow out of it, but the little inner voice will always be there to ask them:
Are you loved at all, by anyone?
and the next step is psychiatric counselling, for years and years!
Please tell your partner / kids / etc that you love them regularly, to prevent this pattern continuing ad infinitum?
Relying on 'other' esteem is about as treacherous emotionally as relying on other's judgement. If one is unable to recognize love without coached words and systemic social verbiage, you cannot be loved at all since all external trappings are not self to begin with. Functional communication is not an adjunct with words, it is an awareness in spirit.People grow up in this condition, never finding love, staying single for a lifetime. Some people grow out of it, but the little inner voice will always be there to ask them:
Are you loved at all, by anyone?
and the next step is psychiatric counselling, for years and years!
Please tell your partner / kids / etc that you love them regularly, to prevent this pattern continuing ad infinitum?
Falling prey to the spoken whims of others is a denial of the self, whether it be "I love you, or I hate you." Neither are of consequence to the aware soul.
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BB_snickers: Relying on 'other' esteem is about as treacherous emotionally as relying on other's judgement. If one is unable to recognize love without coached words and systemic social verbiage, you cannot be loved at all since all external trappings are not self to begin with. Functional communication is not an adjunct with words, it is an awareness in spirit.
Falling prey to the spoken whims of others is a denial of the self, whether it be "I love you, or I hate you." Neither are of consequence to the aware soul.
Yes, I agree with you that you will feel it most of the time, but there are times when we all are down in the dumps, and need those words desperately. Saying the words means a lot to most!!! If it means nothing to you, tell the people around you Not to say it to you, as you perceive it as false!!!Falling prey to the spoken whims of others is a denial of the self, whether it be "I love you, or I hate you." Neither are of consequence to the aware soul.
I will ask you the same, How often is your "regularly"? Never?
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BB_snickers:
Falling prey to the spoken whims of others is a denial of the self, whether it be "I love you, or I hate you." Neither are of consequence to the aware soul.
But both are of great consequence to the egoic self, which will cling to any form of praise and feel hurt from any form of criticism.Falling prey to the spoken whims of others is a denial of the self, whether it be "I love you, or I hate you." Neither are of consequence to the aware soul.
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I have heard of cases, where the parents were separated and the father using "I love you" as a way to psychologically manipulate the kids, for this you owe me that. Afterwards the kids did not believe in "I love you" anymore as it was a weapon to them. According to me, this father should never have had kids, at all. He is a danger to them!
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smiley963: Yes, I agree with you that you will feel it most of the time, but there are times when we all are down in the dumps, and need those words desperately. Saying the words means a lot to most!!! If it means nothing to you, tell the people around you Not to say it to you, as you perceive it as false!!!
I will ask you the same, How often is your "regularly"? Never?
I did not say that it is a feeling. (though a feeling can be derived from anything) I said that it is an awareness. To teach children or anyone to rely on others for their self esteem undermines any chance at real self esteem. It is called self esteem because it's not intended to be other esteem, yes?I will ask you the same, How often is your "regularly"? Never?
It is, when one realises and becomes aware, the biggest obstacle to self love let alone self esteem. In other words, the reliance on others is a self destructive codependency. Codependency ia large contributor to being down in the dumps or riding high, because one has relied on others for self esteem.
If you're sad, that's ok. Feelings are ok. However the moment you attach those feelings to others as blame or assistance, you deny the self of it's amazing presence to transmute feelings that promote self esteem.
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bodleing2: But both are of great consequence to the egoic self, which will cling to any form of praise and feel hurt from any form of criticism.
right 
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BB_snickers: I did not say that it is a feeling. (though a feeling can be derived from anything) I said that it is an awareness. To teach children or anyone to rely on others for their self esteem undermines any chance at real self esteem. It is called self esteem because it's not intended to be other esteem, yes?
It is, when one realises and becomes aware, the biggest obstacle to self love let alone self esteem. In other words, the reliance on others is a self destructive codependency. Codependency ia large contributor to being down in the dumps or riding high, because one has relied on others for self esteem.
If you're sad, that's ok. Feelings are ok. However the moment you attach those feelings to others as blame or assistance, you deny the self of it's amazing presence to transmute feelings that promote self esteem.
Interesting how you perceive things. We seem to agree but call things by different names. It also means that you will be almost single always, as not to depend on others for anything, as it will make you dependant. Kids have no choice in being dependant.It is, when one realises and becomes aware, the biggest obstacle to self love let alone self esteem. In other words, the reliance on others is a self destructive codependency. Codependency ia large contributor to being down in the dumps or riding high, because one has relied on others for self esteem.
If you're sad, that's ok. Feelings are ok. However the moment you attach those feelings to others as blame or assistance, you deny the self of it's amazing presence to transmute feelings that promote self esteem.
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smiley963: I have heard of cases, where the parents were separated and the father using "I love you" as a way to psychologically manipulate the kids, for this you owe me that. Afterwards the kids did not believe in "I love you" anymore as it was a weapon to them. According to me, this father should never have had kids, at all. He is a danger to them!
This is as Bod said, an impure ego satisfied by a socially systemic codendancy. In short it promotes the use of words as manipulation or otherwise. It's not their fault because this is primarily how society teaches us to use and recognize certain verbal cues as being good or bad, which actually detracts and distracts one from one's own sense or internal guide. The more aware you are of that internal guide you are, the less tied you are to codependency and that dysfunctional systemic reliance on 'other esteem'------ This thread is Archived ------
BB_snickers: This is as Bod said, an impure ego satisfied by a socially systemic codendancy. In short it promotes the use of words as manipulation or otherwise. It's not their fault because this is primarily how society teaches us to use and recognize certain verbal cues as being good or bad, which actually detracts and distracts one from one's own sense or internal guide. The more aware you are of that internal guide you are, the less tied you are to codependency and that dysfunctional systemic reliance on 'other esteem'
I'm similar!!!------ This thread is Archived ------
smiley963: Interesting how you perceive things. We seem to agree but call things by different names. It also means that you will be almost single always, as not to depend on others for anything, as it will make you dependant. Kids have no choice in being dependant.
I believe in interdependency for life. Using other dendancy for 'self' esteem, I do not believe in.None of this requires me to be single, or married or polyamorous for that matter. Healthy self esteem doesn't negate interacting with others in any way.
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BB_snickers: I believe in interdependency for life. Using other dendancy for 'self' esteem, I do not believe in.
None of this requires me to be single, or married or polyamorous for that matter. Healthy self esteem doesn't negate interacting with others in any way.
People are all different, having experienced different lives to date. If you want to get married, be single, or just co-exist, it is your choice, but what you want for yourself, only you will know, and would not put on a world wide forum, as it's no-ones business but your own!!!!None of this requires me to be single, or married or polyamorous for that matter. Healthy self esteem doesn't negate interacting with others in any way.
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Yeah, my mom never said she loves me, may be that's why I'll be single and celibate for the rest of my life...
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pKrema: Yeah, my mom never said she loves me, may be that's why I'll be single and celibate for the rest of my life...
I don't believe you!!!!------ This thread is Archived ------
smiley963: I don't believe you!!!!
How dare you?!
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pKrema: Yeah, my mom never said she loves me, may be that's why I'll be single and celibate for the rest of my life...
Its inevitable that the prime source of wounding to a child will be the parents.But the traumas suffered can fall into one of two categories, the wound of too much or the wound of too little.
Either way, the wounding we may have suffered from our parents creates a road map we will, to a large degree, follow for the rest of our lives.
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Created: Mar 2019
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Last Commented: Mar 2019
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People grow up in this condition, never finding love, staying single for a lifetime. Some people grow out of it, but the little inner voice will always be there to ask them:
Are you loved at all, by anyone?
and the next step is psychiatric counselling, for years and years!
Please tell your partner / kids / etc that you love them regularly, to prevent this pattern continuing ad infinitum?