Vulnerability - self-promotion thread (39)
galrads: Does the man only qualify if he accepts to do all the work you want done or is their any wiggle room?
Oh Galrads! When I first read this I thought it said "is there any wiggle worm?!! 
The point is, there is always work to be done and the said man should want to do it.
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Kaylana04: Being vulnerable invokes a masculine response in a man.
It then allows me to focus on other important factors, such as the health and well being of those around me.... including myself.
May be...It then allows me to focus on other important factors, such as the health and well being of those around me.... including myself.
Not all men want to see vulnerability in a form of helplessness ...
The damsel in distress isn't always a charming lady with good intentions...
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pKrema: May be...
Not all men want to see vulnerability in a form of helplessness ...
The damsel in distress isn't always a charming lady with good intentions...
Good point.Not all men want to see vulnerability in a form of helplessness ...
The damsel in distress isn't always a charming lady with good intentions...
Key words: want to see, and good intentions
If the man does not have the heart, oh, dare I say it, to help (I could tread on dangerous water if I mention the word from another thread right now...), then he could possibly see the need as pathetic and weak.
If the woman has the intentions to judge his efforts instead of showing gratitude - and leaving it at that, then the "strings" or "test" would turn the man away in a heartbeat.
If both know their proper positions and roles, then one can help the other graciously and build a stronger relationship.
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Kaylana04: Good point.
Key words: want to see, and good intentions
If the man does not have the heart, oh, dare I say it, to help (I could tread on dangerous water if I mention the word from another thread right now...), then he could possibly see the need as pathetic and weak.
If the woman has the intentions to judge his efforts instead of showing gratitude - and leaving it at that, then the "strings" or "test" would turn the man away in a heartbeat.
If both know their proper positions and roles, then one can help the other graciously and build a stronger relationship.
Kay, my darling, too many "IFs" ... Key words: want to see, and good intentions
If the man does not have the heart, oh, dare I say it, to help (I could tread on dangerous water if I mention the word from another thread right now...), then he could possibly see the need as pathetic and weak.
If the woman has the intentions to judge his efforts instead of showing gratitude - and leaving it at that, then the "strings" or "test" would turn the man away in a heartbeat.
If both know their proper positions and roles, then one can help the other graciously and build a stronger relationship.
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pKrema: Kay, my darling, too many "IFs" ...
How about "when a man" and "when a woman"??
Then the formula should work and a relationship would grow.
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Kaylana04: How about "when a man" and "when a woman"??
Then the formula should work and a relationship would grow.
Sounds just right to me... Then the formula should work and a relationship would grow.
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LeeCharming: Traditional women were very feminine, but very empowered also and very respectful of men(those were the golden days of a productive society and I celebrate traditional women each and every day...they are real women to men and great women, cause they embraced their femininity and stood firmly by their men
Thanks, Lee for the comment.I'll return to this topic in the morning.
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I don't see the division of labor as any basis for a relationship.....its what we do when everything is done that counts for me.....does the conversation flow? can we discuss anything and everything like adults? is he loving and affectionate?...does he have integrity meaning I can count on his word?....is he romantic?...can we compromise? are we so attracted to each other that we cant keep our hands off each other?.....are we passionate about each other?...do we trust each other?...is he kind and thoughtful?.....as for the household needs I suggest we each do the things we like or at least don't mind and split the jobs we really dislike.....
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Kaylana04: Exactly Molly!
I could do all the work. The point is that I don’t want to do it.
I would rather let a man who wants to do it, do it.
I think chipmunks are super cute.I could do all the work. The point is that I don’t want to do it.
I would rather let a man who wants to do it, do it.
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I have been single for many years, by choice, and I have found that anyone can use youtube to figure things out but when I find a project that is out of my league, I am fortunate to have family and males friends to help me. In turn, I do something nice for whomever it is that helped me. Some people may need finances which I am happy to pay and others expect nothing from me. For those who won't take money, I do something nice for them, such as take them out to dinner or for my bachelor friends, they enjoy a home cooked meal and appreciate me helping them with housekeeping and I like to buy personalized gift or I like to host get togethers at my place. So far, I've been lucky getting by.
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Friskyone: I have been single for many years, by choice, and I have found that anyone can use youtube to figure things out but when I find a project that is out of my league, I am fortunate to have family and males friends to help me. In turn, I do something nice for whomever it is that helped me. Some people may need finances which I am happy to pay and others expect nothing from me. For those who won't take money, I do something nice for them, such as take them out to dinner or for my bachelor friends, they enjoy a home cooked meal and appreciate me helping them with housekeeping and I like to buy personalized gift or I like to host get togethers at my place. So far, I've been lucky getting by.
Frisky,This is an honorable stance. I know my place in this community. They think that I'm the "rich American"... Regardless, I do my part in supporting them where I can too. I have done private lessons for children in exchange for manual labor or goods for my animals. I also employ them, paying a very fair rate so that they are sure to come back again if I need something. I give with what I have. It is a wonderful community. My neighbors will be sorely missed.
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Kaylana04: Frisky,
This is an honorable stance. I know my place in this community. They think that I'm the "rich American"... Regardless, I do my part in supporting them where I can too. I have done private lessons for children in exchange for manual labor or goods for my animals. I also employ them, paying a very fair rate so that they are sure to come back again if I need something. I give with what I have. It is a wonderful community. My neighbors will be sorely missed.
I'm sorry to hear that your neighbors are or did leave. They sound like they were very kind to you. Sometimes trading services is all we can do. I am not a rich american and it's nice to hear you offer whatever it is that you can. You've heard the saying, I'm sure, "you scratch my back and I scratch yours". This is an honorable stance. I know my place in this community. They think that I'm the "rich American"... Regardless, I do my part in supporting them where I can too. I have done private lessons for children in exchange for manual labor or goods for my animals. I also employ them, paying a very fair rate so that they are sure to come back again if I need something. I give with what I have. It is a wonderful community. My neighbors will be sorely missed.
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Kaylana04: That’s it. I have built a fantastic network of friends and tradesmen.
Unfortunately, the two key people are leaving. I relied upon them for a lot. The man built my house, so he was knowledgeable about all the little secrets.
I know a few good men still exist.
I only need one.
hiya Kaylana Unfortunately, the two key people are leaving. I relied upon them for a lot. The man built my house, so he was knowledgeable about all the little secrets.
I know a few good men still exist.
I only need one.
if your helpful neighbors are moving...
do you have any idea of who will be moving into their place?
..maybe it will be helpful neighbors???
fingers crossed for you
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Kaylana04: Over and over, I have heard, "You don't need a man. You seem to be able to do everything yourself."
Here's the truth: I don't want to do everything myself.
My trusted neighbor and his wife have announced that they are moving to another country. It is an epidemic of this small EU country - the talented tradesmen are moving to where there is a better life - ie. higher pay.
So, I have an opening for an intelligent, creative (yada, yada....) man who can do plumbing, repair my tractor's flat tire, roofing, brick work, masseuse, mow my enormous yard, till my garden, build a fence to keep the moose and deer out, cut up the fallen pine tree, build my third floor library and sound rooms, hmmmm What else can I think of?? Oh, yeah, a guard - someone to keep me safe and protected.
The pay is: fantastic views of sunrises and sunsets, incredibly delicious and nutritious food, warm bed, great physical activities to keep every part of your body functioning in tip top shape, active and lively surroundings, plenty of things to crack you up into peals of laughter, loads gratitude and appreciation, plus a whole host more!!!
Yeah, my neighbor's announcement sent me for a shock. His wife also helped out by cleaning my house while I was busy doing the above set of jobs. Honestly, I know I can't do it all.
~~~~~~~~~
Ladies, what areas do you feel most vulnerable?
Men, what areas are you most skilled at meeting those needs?
The plain and simple truth is, a man & a woman are built as a pair, and people as a whole are meant to support one another as needed.Here's the truth: I don't want to do everything myself.
My trusted neighbor and his wife have announced that they are moving to another country. It is an epidemic of this small EU country - the talented tradesmen are moving to where there is a better life - ie. higher pay.
So, I have an opening for an intelligent, creative (yada, yada....) man who can do plumbing, repair my tractor's flat tire, roofing, brick work, masseuse, mow my enormous yard, till my garden, build a fence to keep the moose and deer out, cut up the fallen pine tree, build my third floor library and sound rooms, hmmmm What else can I think of?? Oh, yeah, a guard - someone to keep me safe and protected.
The pay is: fantastic views of sunrises and sunsets, incredibly delicious and nutritious food, warm bed, great physical activities to keep every part of your body functioning in tip top shape, active and lively surroundings, plenty of things to crack you up into peals of laughter, loads gratitude and appreciation, plus a whole host more!!!
Yeah, my neighbor's announcement sent me for a shock. His wife also helped out by cleaning my house while I was busy doing the above set of jobs. Honestly, I know I can't do it all.
~~~~~~~~~
Ladies, what areas do you feel most vulnerable?
Men, what areas are you most skilled at meeting those needs?
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LIve alone, work alone, eat alone, pray alone and you will never be alone.
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Not being able to manage everything isn't vulnerability...
You have to know where you stand and admit you are not a super human...
I usually feel violated when I am forced by circumstances to do things out of my expertise...
Yes, I can read, watch and understand how it happens and do it...but I don't really need to add to my self sufficiency skills I don't want to become a regularity...
You have to know where you stand and admit you are not a super human...
I usually feel violated when I am forced by circumstances to do things out of my expertise...
Yes, I can read, watch and understand how it happens and do it...but I don't really need to add to my self sufficiency skills I don't want to become a regularity...
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pKrema: Not being able to manage everything isn't vulnerability...
You have to know where you stand and admit you are not a super human...
I usually feel violated when I am forced by circumstances to do things out of my expertise...
Yes, I can read, watch and understand how it happens and do it...but I don't really need to add to my self sufficiency skills I don't want to become a regularity...
Brilliant comment, Krema You have to know where you stand and admit you are not a super human...
I usually feel violated when I am forced by circumstances to do things out of my expertise...
Yes, I can read, watch and understand how it happens and do it...but I don't really need to add to my self sufficiency skills I don't want to become a regularity...
I don't need to be Superwoman - while I very well could be and many have called me such.
I don't want to be Superwoman either.
I do know that I need help.
That's where I step back and allow a respectable and capable person do the job - without my interference.
A woman's value isn't in what she does but how she does it.
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I think that your best option is to sell the place and join the caravan, if you can not take care of the property your self. I have a similar problem, but mine is not the lack of skills since I know just about everything there is to know about tools, but the scale of my property and the houses within makes it like Golden gate bridge. You start painting in one end and by the time you are finished you need do do it all over again. In the process you wasted a couple of years of your life. For what! It's just maintenance of a building that in best scenario will remain someone else head ache after you are dead.You live only once on this earth. My dilemma is should I stay and let it slowly decay(because property will be fine as long as I will live) or sell and move to warmer climate and buy a smaller stone house and live on the proceeds. Doing fun stuff instead of lying under the sink doing plumbing just to replace a perfectly fine faucet with a fancy one! To drink a cup of tea on the porch and watch the sunrise/set and hand a cookie to the Mrs sound better. 
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I could do all the work. The point is that I don’t want to do it.
I would rather let a man who wants to do it, do it.[/quote
Does the man only qualify if he accepts to do all the work you want done or is their any wiggle room?