Contradictions... ( Archived) (11)

Apr 29, 2019 12:17 PM CST Contradictions...
smiley963
smiley963smiley963Johannesburg, Gauteng South Africa254 Threads 5 Polls 3,651 Posts
When someone tells you something about themselves, you compare it to the way they act...Amazing...It invariably don't match...

Now the question is:
Who gave them their ideas of themselves?
Family they grew up with, Friends trying to me nice

Should we sugar-coat observations, to make the other person feel better,
or must we be blunt, and hurt their feelings,
or let them find out for themselves, the hard way...?

conversing blues moping help dunno cool
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Apr 29, 2019 12:39 PM CST Contradictions...
smiley963
smiley963smiley963Johannesburg, Gauteng South Africa254 Threads 5 Polls 3,651 Posts
smiley963: When someone tells you something about themselves, you compare it to the way they act...Amazing...It invariably don't match...

Now the question is:
Who gave them their ideas of themselves?
Family they grew up with, Friends trying to me nice

Should we sugar-coat observations, to make the other person feel better,
or must we be blunt, and hurt their feelings,
or let them find out for themselves, the hard way...?
Let's take an example:
A guy and a gal corresponding re personality & intimacy.
They meet with the sole purpose to get to know each other, on a personal and physical level. They both find the persona they meet to be utterly foreign to the habits stipulated via correspondence...

How did this happen?
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Apr 29, 2019 12:49 PM CST Contradictions...
Like a woman who abandons her original profile after she uses it to berate so many people, she has a bad rep...

And starts up another profile on the same site, where she begins berating so many people: that it only takes a few days before everyone recognizes her?
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Apr 29, 2019 1:06 PM CST Contradictions...
smiley963: When someone tells you something about themselves, you compare it to the way they act...Amazing...It invariably don't match...

Now the question is:
Who gave them their ideas of themselves?
Family they grew up with, Friends trying to me nice

Should we sugar-coat observations, to make the other person feel better,
or must we be blunt, and hurt their feelings,
or let them find out for themselves, the hard way...?
Perhaps we form our own idea in our head about who/how a person is, and then yes, there is a disappointment because they don't match the story we've built them up to be. THey are human afterall with faults, flaws, bad days, good days, imperfect, and everything in between.

Our observations of that person may not be correct based on a few meetings.
Why not choose to be kind instead, and wish them all the best in life if they don't fit who you want them to be?
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Apr 29, 2019 1:17 PM CST Contradictions...
smiley963
smiley963smiley963Johannesburg, Gauteng South Africa254 Threads 5 Polls 3,651 Posts
Kaybee50: Perhaps we form our own idea in our head about who/how a person is, and then yes, there is a disappointment because they don't match the story we've built them up to be. THey are human afterall with faults, flaws, bad days, good days, imperfect, and everything in between.

Our observations of that person may not be correct based on a few meetings.
Why not choose to be kind instead, and wish them all the best in life if they don't fit who you want them to be?
That's just it:
This person feels that he / she is not the person you are looking for, because of his / her invalid impression of themselves, where actually they are the right one...!!!
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Apr 29, 2019 1:27 PM CST Contradictions...
smiley963: That's just it:
This person feels that he / she is not the person you are looking for, because of his / her invalid impression of themselves, where actually they are the right one...!!!
I've met people where the online attraction is wonderful, sizzling, warm. Then when we met face to face, for one or both of us, that connection doesn't translate in the physical realm for a myriad of reasons. I don't blame them. I don't blame me. Some have felt I am the "right one" for them, but I'm not. So when someone tells us they aren't at the same place, or going in the same direction, or someone not right for you,l believe him/her and look forward. wine

We can't change them.
It is not our place to tell them what we believe their flaws/faults to be, especially since we see that through our own tinted glasses.

We move on, look forward, and continuing lookinf for the true "right one". wine
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Apr 29, 2019 1:33 PM CST Contradictions...
smiley963
smiley963smiley963Johannesburg, Gauteng South Africa254 Threads 5 Polls 3,651 Posts
Kaybee50: I've met people where the online attraction is wonderful, sizzling, warm. Then when we met face to face, for one or both of us, that connection doesn't translate in the physical realm for a myriad of reasons. I don't blame them. I don't blame me. Some have felt I am the "right one" for them, but I'm not. So when someone tells us they aren't at the same place, or going in the same direction, or someone not right for you,l believe him/her and look forward.

We can't change them.
It is not our place to tell them what we believe their flaws/faults to be, especially since we see that through our own tinted glasses.

We move on, look forward, and continuing lookinf for the true "right one".
I'm not looking here...I just want acquaintances here...
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Apr 29, 2019 1:33 PM CST Contradictions...
Mongo_lives
Mongo_livesMongo_livesRock Ridge, Texas USA210 Posts
Mongo not sure he understands. Mongo not compare anything. Mogo likes you or not. Mongo not very smart so Mongo tries to keep things simple.
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Apr 29, 2019 2:12 PM CST Contradictions...
jimgi
jimgijimgiroscommon, Roscommon Ireland3 Threads 1 Polls 977 Posts
mykingdomforanam: Like a woman who abandons her original profile after she uses it to berate so many people, she has a bad rep...

And starts up another profile on the same site, where she begins berating so many people: that it only takes a few days before everyone recognizes her?
I think you have to be mistaken.
The first one looked about 65, this one is only 45. dunno
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Apr 29, 2019 11:37 PM CST Contradictions...
daniela777
daniela777daniela777Mi Paraiso, Murcia Spain44 Threads 2,714 Posts
jimgi: I think you have to be mistaken.
The first one looked about 65, this one is only 45.
Anybody can change their age...status...location..etc and even gender.. When changing profile!
Also...no photos!!!

The only thing you cannot change is your PERSONALITY and how you interact with people.
Those are a give away!grin
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May 7, 2019 7:38 PM CST Contradictions...
MustangWriter
MustangWriterMustangWriterBoerne, Texas USA242 Threads 3 Polls 1,762 Posts
smiley963: When someone tells you something about themselves, you compare it to the way they act...Amazing...It invariably don't match...

Now the question is:
Who gave them their ideas of themselves?
Family they grew up with, Friends trying to me nice

Should we sugar-coat observations, to make the other person feel better,
or must we be blunt, and hurt their feelings,
or let them find out for themselves, the hard way...?
How old are you? Don't you have ANY life experience?
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