I guess it isn't easy to be honest with oneself and admit we are trying to control everything because it gives us a sense of security... And I don't mean an aggressive or possessive kind of control... Do you feel better if everything is precisely controlled by you, work, emotions, relations even feelings...? Doing only things you believe are good for you, for your comfort zone...your order in live...status... Isn't is just a false sense of security after all...?!
DedovixBig Place, Central Serbia Serbia5,492 posts
pKrema: I guess it isn't easy to be honest with oneself and admit we are trying to control everything because it gives us a sense of security... And I don't mean an aggressive or possessive kind of control... Do you feel better if everything is precisely controlled by you, work, emotions, relations even feelings...? Doing only things you believe are good for you, for your comfort zone...your order in live...status... Isn't is just a false sense of security after all...?!
pKrema: I guess it isn't easy to be honest with oneself and admit we are trying to control everything because it gives us a sense of security... And I don't mean an aggressive or possessive kind of control... Do you feel better if everything is precisely controlled by you, work, emotions, relations even feelings...? Doing only things you believe are good for you, for your comfort zone...your order in live...status... Isn't is just a false sense of security after all...?!
Yep, pretty much. Although, I don't only do things that I believe are good for me - I also do things that I believe may be beneficial for others. I am not the type to be so self-centered. That said, I'm not usually a fly by the seat of my pants type person, so I feel most things in my life are precisely controlled by me. Sometimes it is just a false sense of security after all because even with the "best" planning (control), things in life go awry - regardless.
pKrema: I guess it isn't easy to be honest with oneself and admit we are trying to control everything because it gives us a sense of security... And I don't mean an aggressive or possessive kind of control... Do you feel better if everything is precisely controlled by you, work, emotions, relations even feelings...? Doing only things you believe are good for you, for your comfort zone...your order in live...status... Isn't is just a false sense of security after all...?!
I like my feelings to be controlled (IRL) I like my space to be controlled..my own personal life. I used to be a stickler for trying to control everything...too me along time to realise this was selfish and wrong..but never did it for selfish reasons....for reasons i wont say here id had my own reasons for needing that control. I have learnt to let it all go I like organisation and routine in my life but im able to let things go too when it counts.
Pkrema, are you the über-control type? Does your clothes-cupboard look like a catalogue photo shoot? Do you never leave a mess in the sink? Is your bathroom a spotless, tidy space? Do you carry your agenda in your bag, and cross off the items daily? If so, not all is lost. It may not be a bad thing.
pKrema: I guess it isn't easy to be honest with oneself and admit we are trying to control everything because it gives us a sense of security... And I don't mean an aggressive or possessive kind of control... Do you feel better if everything is precisely controlled by you, work, emotions, relations even feelings...? Doing only things you believe are good for you, for your comfort zone...your order in live...status... Isn't is just a false sense of security after all...?!
Control and power aren't bad things on their own in my opinion. However combine them and you get a convenience freak which is a behavior I never practice but I see a lot of others doing anything in a relationship when its convenient only for them.
Control is also when you cling on to patterns that no longer serve you and fulfil you, but they are the "Devil you know" ... Refusing to step into the new because you may not be able to control what's coming...ignoring the possibility of something bigger and better...trying to convince yourself you are just fine with what you have already... Or creating brighter memories about situation that were painful or exhausting emotionally...just to fill the void... Sitting down and facing it all as it really was... Do we have the guts?! And I think it's one of the reasons why people choose to stay single or date casually...ONS...
OnlyLiveTwice: Pkrema, are you the über-control type? Does your clothes-cupboard look like a catalogue photo shoot? Do you never leave a mess in the sink? Is your bathroom a spotless, tidy space? Do you carry your agenda in your bag, and cross off the items daily? If so, not all is lost. It may not be a bad thing.
All you mentioned above isn't control for me... I am far from demanding perfection from myself and others...but chaos isn't a way to move forward, in my opinion...
One reason I keep talking about fate is to face circumstances not of your making to whatever end. We are stronger men and women than we could ever choose because we are a better man than we know, but a worse person than we think.
Butcher559Whangarei, Northland New Zealand750 posts
pKrema: I guess it isn't easy to be honest with oneself and admit we are trying to control everything because it gives us a sense of security... And I don't mean an aggressive or possessive kind of control... Do you feel better if everything is precisely controlled by you, work, emotions, relations even feelings...? Doing only things you believe are good for you, for your comfort zone...your order in live...status... Isn't is just a false sense of security after all...?!
I like to have a percentage of control in the things i do and it does feel good when things you controlled turns out well, its like a straight shot of pride or a couple of glory pills for your ego.. But i'm finding that just rolling with life and not being so anxious about control over everthing around me, works just as well and the glory pills for your ego have a different buzz when a uncontrolled situation turns out good.
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And I don't mean an aggressive or possessive kind of control...
Do you feel better if everything is precisely controlled by you, work, emotions, relations even feelings...?
Doing only things you believe are good for you, for your comfort zone...your order in live...status...
Isn't is just a false sense of security after all...?!