My sister wants your feedback (94)
Kid who watches the news , different , make sure he watches a good news channel .
------ This thread is Archived ------
Friskyone: My sister is not a member here but is aware of my participation here. She asked me to write this thread for you to give her your feedback/opinions/advice.
I apologize for not being able to condense this in shorter form but all the facts need to exposed in order for you understand all the facts.
She married her husband of 5 years. He has an 11 yr old son who he shares 50/50 custody with his alcoholic ex wife, dad is straight as an arrow. My brother-in-law has him 4 days/week and the mom 3 days/week. My sister started dating her now husband since his son was 6, I will call him Sam.
Since my daughter started dating Chris, Sam has had behavioral issues. Sam is anti-social and prefers to spend time with adults only (even when my sister and husband visit with couples who have kids) he will ignore the kids and will hang out with the adults, he plays mature content videos games for way too much time, when he isn't playing video Gomes, he watches world news, he refuses to take up any after school activities and his mom and dad are ok with that, he is overwhelmed by fear and anxiety and he won't stay alone at home even if it's just for 30 minutes and if he is not in sight of my sister, chris or his mom, he panicks. His problems have escalated over the years.
Dad is in denial and his mom just doesn't acknowledge his behavior so nothing is being done about it.
My sister works with special needs kids and is trained to pick up on things that other's may not. My sister and communicated her concern with Chris but he just sweeps it under the rug. My sister want Sam to get help but Sam's parents are not on the same page. My sister feels her hands are tied and it's affecting their marriage and she is considering divorcing him.
She is asking for thoughts/opinions/advice.
Should she leave the marriage or stay under these conditions?
Thanks for reading and for your feedback.
How is your sister getting on with Sam, are they close? I apologize for not being able to condense this in shorter form but all the facts need to exposed in order for you understand all the facts.
She married her husband of 5 years. He has an 11 yr old son who he shares 50/50 custody with his alcoholic ex wife, dad is straight as an arrow. My brother-in-law has him 4 days/week and the mom 3 days/week. My sister started dating her now husband since his son was 6, I will call him Sam.
Since my daughter started dating Chris, Sam has had behavioral issues. Sam is anti-social and prefers to spend time with adults only (even when my sister and husband visit with couples who have kids) he will ignore the kids and will hang out with the adults, he plays mature content videos games for way too much time, when he isn't playing video Gomes, he watches world news, he refuses to take up any after school activities and his mom and dad are ok with that, he is overwhelmed by fear and anxiety and he won't stay alone at home even if it's just for 30 minutes and if he is not in sight of my sister, chris or his mom, he panicks. His problems have escalated over the years.
Dad is in denial and his mom just doesn't acknowledge his behavior so nothing is being done about it.
My sister works with special needs kids and is trained to pick up on things that other's may not. My sister and communicated her concern with Chris but he just sweeps it under the rug. My sister want Sam to get help but Sam's parents are not on the same page. My sister feels her hands are tied and it's affecting their marriage and she is considering divorcing him.
She is asking for thoughts/opinions/advice.
Should she leave the marriage or stay under these conditions?
Thanks for reading and for your feedback.
Sounds to me the poor boy needs emotional coaching maybe to see a child therapist to do mindfulness techniques, hard for for sister to watch
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epirb: Kid who watches the news , different , make sure he watches a good news channel .
And which would be what?------ This thread is Archived ------
irish78eyes: How is your sister getting on with Sam, are they close?
Sounds to me the poor boy needs emotional coaching maybe to see a child therapist to do mindfulness techniques, hard for for sister to watch
My sister gets along with Sam good although his behaviour is beginning to affect her. She doesn't blame Sam as she believes he needs all of exactly what you mentioned. She is concerned and wants him to live a happy life.Sounds to me the poor boy needs emotional coaching maybe to see a child therapist to do mindfulness techniques, hard for for sister to watch
She feels she is fighting a losing battle. Thank you for reading and responding. All advice is helpful.
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If Chris, Sam, and Sam's biological mom aren't willing to go through individual AND family therapy then it will be a tough road ahead for your sister. It will only get worse as the boy becomes a teenager. Read into that what you will.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Friskyone: My sister is not a member here but is aware of my participation here. She asked me to write this thread for you to give her your feedback/opinions/advice.
I apologize for not being able to condense this in shorter form but all the facts need to exposed in order for you understand all the facts.
She married her husband of 5 years. He has an 11 yr old son who he shares 50/50 custody with his alcoholic ex wife, dad is straight as an arrow. My brother-in-law has him 4 days/week and the mom 3 days/week. My sister started dating her now husband since his son was 6, I will call him Sam.
Since my daughter started dating Chris, Sam has had behavioral issues. Sam is anti-social and prefers to spend time with adults only (even when my sister and husband visit with couples who have kids) he will ignore the kids and will hang out with the adults, he plays mature content videos games for way too much time, when he isn't playing video Gomes, he watches world news, he refuses to take up any after school activities and his mom and dad are ok with that, he is overwhelmed by fear and anxiety and he won't stay alone at home even if it's just for 30 minutes and if he is not in sight of my sister, chris or his mom, he panicks. His problems have escalated over the years.
Dad is in denial and his mom just doesn't acknowledge his behavior so nothing is being done about it.
My sister works with special needs kids and is trained to pick up on things that other's may not. My sister and communicated her concern with Chris but he just sweeps it under the rug. My sister want Sam to get help but Sam's parents are not on the same page. My sister feels her hands are tied and it's affecting their marriage and she is considering divorcing him.
She is asking for thoughts/opinions/advice.
Should she leave the marriage or stay under these conditions?
Thanks for reading and for your feedback.
Please request your sister to wait till I read and understand the actual thing so I will try my best to answer her I apologize for not being able to condense this in shorter form but all the facts need to exposed in order for you understand all the facts.
She married her husband of 5 years. He has an 11 yr old son who he shares 50/50 custody with his alcoholic ex wife, dad is straight as an arrow. My brother-in-law has him 4 days/week and the mom 3 days/week. My sister started dating her now husband since his son was 6, I will call him Sam.
Since my daughter started dating Chris, Sam has had behavioral issues. Sam is anti-social and prefers to spend time with adults only (even when my sister and husband visit with couples who have kids) he will ignore the kids and will hang out with the adults, he plays mature content videos games for way too much time, when he isn't playing video Gomes, he watches world news, he refuses to take up any after school activities and his mom and dad are ok with that, he is overwhelmed by fear and anxiety and he won't stay alone at home even if it's just for 30 minutes and if he is not in sight of my sister, chris or his mom, he panicks. His problems have escalated over the years.
Dad is in denial and his mom just doesn't acknowledge his behavior so nothing is being done about it.
My sister works with special needs kids and is trained to pick up on things that other's may not. My sister and communicated her concern with Chris but he just sweeps it under the rug. My sister want Sam to get help but Sam's parents are not on the same page. My sister feels her hands are tied and it's affecting their marriage and she is considering divorcing him.
She is asking for thoughts/opinions/advice.
Should she leave the marriage or stay under these conditions?
Thanks for reading and for your feedback.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Friskyone: And which would be what?
Fox ,WSWS , child needs to be exposed to choice not stupidity , steer clear of CNN , Washington Post , list goes on . The first two will give ballance between them . Your sister is worrying about small things , she needs kids of her own .------ This thread is Archived ------
Friskyone: My sister is not a member here but is aware of my participation here. She asked me to write this thread for you to give her your feedback/opinions/advice.
I apologize for not being able to condense this in shorter form but all the facts need to exposed in order for you understand all the facts.
She married her husband of 5 years. He has an 11 yr old son who he shares 50/50 custody with his alcoholic ex wife, dad is straight as an arrow. My brother-in-law has him 4 days/week and the mom 3 days/week. My sister started dating her now husband since his son was 6, I will call him Sam.
Since my daughter started dating Chris, Sam has had behavioral issues. Sam is anti-social and prefers to spend time with adults only (even when my sister and husband visit with couples who have kids) he will ignore the kids and will hang out with the adults, he plays mature content videos games for way too much time, when he isn't playing video Gomes, he watches world news, he refuses to take up any after school activities and his mom and dad are ok with that, he is overwhelmed by fear and anxiety and he won't stay alone at home even if it's just for 30 minutes and if he is not in sight of my sister, chris or his mom, he panicks. His problems have escalated over the years.
Dad is in denial and his mom just doesn't acknowledge his behavior so nothing is being done about it.
My sister works with special needs kids and is trained to pick up on things that other's may not. My sister and communicated her concern with Chris but he just sweeps it under the rug. My sister want Sam to get help but Sam's parents are not on the same page. My sister feels her hands are tied and it's affecting their marriage and she is considering divorcing him.
She is asking for thoughts/opinions/advice.
Should she leave the marriage or stay under these conditions?
Thanks for reading and for your feedback.
You're burying the reality in extra words.I apologize for not being able to condense this in shorter form but all the facts need to exposed in order for you understand all the facts.
She married her husband of 5 years. He has an 11 yr old son who he shares 50/50 custody with his alcoholic ex wife, dad is straight as an arrow. My brother-in-law has him 4 days/week and the mom 3 days/week. My sister started dating her now husband since his son was 6, I will call him Sam.
Since my daughter started dating Chris, Sam has had behavioral issues. Sam is anti-social and prefers to spend time with adults only (even when my sister and husband visit with couples who have kids) he will ignore the kids and will hang out with the adults, he plays mature content videos games for way too much time, when he isn't playing video Gomes, he watches world news, he refuses to take up any after school activities and his mom and dad are ok with that, he is overwhelmed by fear and anxiety and he won't stay alone at home even if it's just for 30 minutes and if he is not in sight of my sister, chris or his mom, he panicks. His problems have escalated over the years.
Dad is in denial and his mom just doesn't acknowledge his behavior so nothing is being done about it.
My sister works with special needs kids and is trained to pick up on things that other's may not. My sister and communicated her concern with Chris but he just sweeps it under the rug. My sister want Sam to get help but Sam's parents are not on the same page. My sister feels her hands are tied and it's affecting their marriage and she is considering divorcing him.
She is asking for thoughts/opinions/advice.
Should she leave the marriage or stay under these conditions?
Thanks for reading and for your feedback.
Your sister dislikes being around her step son enough to consider leaving her marriage.
She should leave.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Friskyone: My sister is not a member here but is aware of my participation here. She asked me to write this thread for you to give her your feedback/opinions/advice.
I apologize for not being able to condense this in shorter form but all the facts need to exposed in order for you understand all the facts.
She married her husband of 5 years. He has an 11 yr old son who he shares 50/50 custody with his alcoholic ex wife, dad is straight as an arrow. My brother-in-law has him 4 days/week and the mom 3 days/week. My sister started dating her now husband since his son was 6, I will call him Sam.
Since my daughter started dating Chris, Sam has had behavioral issues. Sam is anti-social and prefers to spend time with adults only (even when my sister and husband visit with couples who have kids) he will ignore the kids and will hang out with the adults, he plays mature content videos games for way too much time, when he isn't playing video Gomes, he watches world news, he refuses to take up any after school activities and his mom and dad are ok with that, he is overwhelmed by fear and anxiety and he won't stay alone at home even if it's just for 30 minutes and if he is not in sight of my sister, chris or his mom, he panicks. His problems have escalated over the years.
Dad is in denial and his mom just doesn't acknowledge his behavior so nothing is being done about it.
My sister works with special needs kids and is trained to pick up on things that other's may not. My sister and communicated her concern with Chris but he just sweeps it under the rug. My sister want Sam to get help but Sam's parents are not on the same page. My sister feels her hands are tied and it's affecting their marriage and she is considering divorcing him.
She is asking for thoughts/opinions/advice.
Should she leave the marriage or stay under these conditions?
Thanks for reading and for your feedback.
I think Sam should be assessed for autistic spectrum may be has aspergers... they should be able to do that at his school... I'm sure you're sister would be able to get it done.I apologize for not being able to condense this in shorter form but all the facts need to exposed in order for you understand all the facts.
She married her husband of 5 years. He has an 11 yr old son who he shares 50/50 custody with his alcoholic ex wife, dad is straight as an arrow. My brother-in-law has him 4 days/week and the mom 3 days/week. My sister started dating her now husband since his son was 6, I will call him Sam.
Since my daughter started dating Chris, Sam has had behavioral issues. Sam is anti-social and prefers to spend time with adults only (even when my sister and husband visit with couples who have kids) he will ignore the kids and will hang out with the adults, he plays mature content videos games for way too much time, when he isn't playing video Gomes, he watches world news, he refuses to take up any after school activities and his mom and dad are ok with that, he is overwhelmed by fear and anxiety and he won't stay alone at home even if it's just for 30 minutes and if he is not in sight of my sister, chris or his mom, he panicks. His problems have escalated over the years.
Dad is in denial and his mom just doesn't acknowledge his behavior so nothing is being done about it.
My sister works with special needs kids and is trained to pick up on things that other's may not. My sister and communicated her concern with Chris but he just sweeps it under the rug. My sister want Sam to get help but Sam's parents are not on the same page. My sister feels her hands are tied and it's affecting their marriage and she is considering divorcing him.
She is asking for thoughts/opinions/advice.
Should she leave the marriage or stay under these conditions?
Thanks for reading and for your feedback.
Once he's assessed they'll have a clearer idea of how to handle things... if your sisters presents it to her husband as something that will help him be more comfortable and happier with his education rather than 'behavioural' the dad might not go on the 'defensive' and resistance which many parents do when confronted with own kids behaviour ...
If Sam is on any spectrum being assessed wil transgorm his life and everybody because he will get the support he needs and everyone will be able to read the adequate literature that explain so many things that aren't 'the norm'
May be the dad won't realise how serious the situation is until your sister mentions divorce ... but still approach from the education slant rather than behaviour ... education is for the child's benefit... behaviour can be blamed on someone else rather than the child...
------ This thread is Archived ------
epirb: Fox ,WSWS , child needs to be exposed to choice not stupidity , steer clear of CNN , Washington Post , list goes on . The first two will give ballance between them . Your sister is worrying about small things , she needs kids of her own .
She has an 18 year old in college to become educated in pediatrics.------ This thread is Archived ------
Selenite: I think Sam should be assessed for autistic spectrum may be has aspergers... they should be able to do that at his school... I'm sure you're sister would be able to get it done.
Once he's assessed they'll have a clearer idea of how to handle things... if your sisters presents it to her husband as something that will help him be more comfortable and happier with his education rather than 'behavioural' the dad might not go on the 'defensive' and resistance which many parents do when confronted with own kids behaviour ...
If Sam is on any spectrum being assessed wil transgorm his life and everybody because he will get the support he needs and everyone will be able to read the adequate literature that explain so many things that aren't 'the norm'
May be the dad won't realise how serious the situation is until your sister mentions divorce ... but still approach from the education slant rather than behaviour ... education is for the child's benefit... behaviour can be blamed on someone else rather than the child...
Although I don't mran the chikd is to blame ...I mean his behaviour stems from him not caused by someone Once he's assessed they'll have a clearer idea of how to handle things... if your sisters presents it to her husband as something that will help him be more comfortable and happier with his education rather than 'behavioural' the dad might not go on the 'defensive' and resistance which many parents do when confronted with own kids behaviour ...
If Sam is on any spectrum being assessed wil transgorm his life and everybody because he will get the support he needs and everyone will be able to read the adequate literature that explain so many things that aren't 'the norm'
May be the dad won't realise how serious the situation is until your sister mentions divorce ... but still approach from the education slant rather than behaviour ... education is for the child's benefit... behaviour can be blamed on someone else rather than the child...
------ This thread is Archived ------
Ocee102: You're burying the reality in extra words.
Your sister dislikes being around her step son enough to consider leaving her marriage.
She should leave.
Maybe I wasn't clear enough. I mentioned she does get along with her step son. She is fighting to get him and blames her husband and ex for refusing to get him help. She does not blame her step son, she is fighying FOR HIM but his own parents ARE NOT.Your sister dislikes being around her step son enough to consider leaving her marriage.
She should leave.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Friskyone: My sister is not a member here but is aware of my participation here. She asked me to write this thread for you to give her your feedback/opinions/advice.
I apologize for not being able to condense this in shorter form but all the facts need to exposed in order for you understand all the facts.
She married her husband of 5 years. He has an 11 yr old son who he shares 50/50 custody with his alcoholic ex wife, dad is straight as an arrow. My brother-in-law has him 4 days/week and the mom 3 days/week. My sister started dating her now husband since his son was 6, I will call him Sam.
Since my daughter started dating Chris, Sam has had behavioral issues. Sam is anti-social and prefers to spend time with adults only (even when my sister and husband visit with couples who have kids) he will ignore the kids and will hang out with the adults, he plays mature content videos games for way too much time, when he isn't playing video Gomes, he watches world news, he refuses to take up any after school activities and his mom and dad are ok with that, he is overwhelmed by fear and anxiety and he won't stay alone at home even if it's just for 30 minutes and if he is not in sight of my sister, chris or his mom, he panicks. His problems have escalated over the years.
Dad is in denial and his mom just doesn't acknowledge his behavior so nothing is being done about it.
My sister works with special needs kids and is trained to pick up on things that other's may not. My sister and communicated her concern with Chris but he just sweeps it under the rug. My sister want Sam to get help but Sam's parents are not on the same page. My sister feels her hands are tied and it's affecting their marriage and she is considering divorcing him.
She is asking for thoughts/opinions/advice.
Should she leave the marriage or stay under these conditions?
Thanks for reading and for your feedback.
The thing is very difficult and complicated.I apologize for not being able to condense this in shorter form but all the facts need to exposed in order for you understand all the facts.
She married her husband of 5 years. He has an 11 yr old son who he shares 50/50 custody with his alcoholic ex wife, dad is straight as an arrow. My brother-in-law has him 4 days/week and the mom 3 days/week. My sister started dating her now husband since his son was 6, I will call him Sam.
Since my daughter started dating Chris, Sam has had behavioral issues. Sam is anti-social and prefers to spend time with adults only (even when my sister and husband visit with couples who have kids) he will ignore the kids and will hang out with the adults, he plays mature content videos games for way too much time, when he isn't playing video Gomes, he watches world news, he refuses to take up any after school activities and his mom and dad are ok with that, he is overwhelmed by fear and anxiety and he won't stay alone at home even if it's just for 30 minutes and if he is not in sight of my sister, chris or his mom, he panicks. His problems have escalated over the years.
Dad is in denial and his mom just doesn't acknowledge his behavior so nothing is being done about it.
My sister works with special needs kids and is trained to pick up on things that other's may not. My sister and communicated her concern with Chris but he just sweeps it under the rug. My sister want Sam to get help but Sam's parents are not on the same page. My sister feels her hands are tied and it's affecting their marriage and she is considering divorcing him.
She is asking for thoughts/opinions/advice.
Should she leave the marriage or stay under these conditions?
Thanks for reading and for your feedback.
But I don't suggest the divorce at all
But I can suggest that she might have a separate home , even one room apartment, the kid is 11 years old , and it's only 7 to 10 years till he go to college.
It's a stupid decision to destroying marriage for feeling helpless against this kind of domestic dramas and problems , even the British royal family have their own drama .
If her husband and his ex wife not convinced, she just have to move peacefully to another home in the same neighborhood .
And she can learn how to separate herself from the past of her husband.
The kid of her husband is just a package for little time.
And the most important thing for your sister is to be completely financially independent.
No need for the divorce
This is my opinion if her husband not an abusive person.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Selenite: I think Sam should be assessed for autistic spectrum may be has aspergers... they should be able to do that at his school... I'm sure you're sister would be able to get it done.
Once he's assessed they'll have a clearer idea of how to handle things... if your sisters presents it to her husband as something that will help him be more comfortable and happier with his education rather than 'behavioural' the dad might not go on the 'defensive' and resistance which many parents do when confronted with own kids behaviour ...
If Sam is on any spectrum being assessed wil transgorm his life and everybody because he will get the support he needs and everyone will be able to read the adequate literature that explain so many things that aren't 'the norm'
May be the dad won't realise how serious the situation is until your sister mentions divorce ... but still approach from the education slant rather than behaviour ... education is for the child's benefit... behaviour can be blamed on someone else rather than the child...
I agree and my sister actually works with autistic children but the parents are not taking her concerns seriously or acknowledging Sam needs help.Once he's assessed they'll have a clearer idea of how to handle things... if your sisters presents it to her husband as something that will help him be more comfortable and happier with his education rather than 'behavioural' the dad might not go on the 'defensive' and resistance which many parents do when confronted with own kids behaviour ...
If Sam is on any spectrum being assessed wil transgorm his life and everybody because he will get the support he needs and everyone will be able to read the adequate literature that explain so many things that aren't 'the norm'
May be the dad won't realise how serious the situation is until your sister mentions divorce ... but still approach from the education slant rather than behaviour ... education is for the child's benefit... behaviour can be blamed on someone else rather than the child...
------ This thread is Archived ------
Friskyone: I agree and my sister actually works with autistic children but the parents are not taking her concerns seriously or acknowledging Sam needs help.
Can she not get him assessed at school?------ This thread is Archived ------
stranger1978: The thing is very difficult and complicated.
But I don't suggest the divorce at all
But I can suggest that she might have a separate home , even one room apartment, the kid is 11 years old , and it's only 7 to 10 years till he go to college.
It's a stupid decision to destroying marriage for feeling helpless against this kind of domestic dramas and problems , even the British royal family have their own drama .
If her husband and his ex wife not convinced, she just have to move peacefully to another home in the same neighborhood .
And she can learn how to separate herself from the past of her husband.
The kid of her husband is just a package for little time.
And the most important thing for your sister is to be completely financially independent.
No need for the divorce
This is my opinion if her husband not an abusive person.
Thanks stranger, her husband is not abusive in any way and the are both financially independent.But I don't suggest the divorce at all
But I can suggest that she might have a separate home , even one room apartment, the kid is 11 years old , and it's only 7 to 10 years till he go to college.
It's a stupid decision to destroying marriage for feeling helpless against this kind of domestic dramas and problems , even the British royal family have their own drama .
If her husband and his ex wife not convinced, she just have to move peacefully to another home in the same neighborhood .
And she can learn how to separate herself from the past of her husband.
The kid of her husband is just a package for little time.
And the most important thing for your sister is to be completely financially independent.
No need for the divorce
This is my opinion if her husband not an abusive person.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Friskyone: She has an 18 year old in college to become educated in pediatrics.
you missed that bit, she should put her traing into practice . I suspect she already has and the results are not quite what she expected . This kid is not much trouble compared to some .------ This thread is Archived ------
ali110: Please request your sister to wait till I read and understand the actual thing so I will try my best to answer her
you sound like Dr. Phil.........
------ This thread is Archived ------
Selenite: Can she not get him assessed at school?
Because his parents are not on board, they would be upset with her and would feel she is not to make decisions or take action as she is "only the step mom".------ This thread is Archived ------
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I apologize for not being able to condense this in shorter form but all the facts need to exposed in order for you understand all the facts.
She married her husband of 5 years. He has an 11 yr old son who he shares 50/50 custody with his alcoholic ex wife, dad is straight as an arrow. My brother-in-law has him 4 days/week and the mom 3 days/week. My sister started dating her now husband since his son was 6, I will call him Sam.
Since my daughter started dating Chris, Sam has had behavioral issues. Sam is anti-social and prefers to spend time with adults only (even when my sister and husband visit with couples who have kids) he will ignore the kids and will hang out with the adults, he plays mature content videos games for way too much time, when he isn't playing video Gomes, he watches world news, he refuses to take up any after school activities and his mom and dad are ok with that, he is overwhelmed by fear and anxiety and he won't stay alone at home even if it's just for 30 minutes and if he is not in sight of my sister, chris or his mom, he panicks. His problems have escalated over the years.
Dad is in denial and his mom just doesn't acknowledge his behavior so nothing is being done about it.
My sister works with special needs kids and is trained to pick up on things that other's may not. My sister and communicated her concern with Chris but he just sweeps it under the rug. My sister want Sam to get help but Sam's parents are not on the same page. My sister feels her hands are tied and it's affecting their marriage and she is considering divorcing him.
She is asking for thoughts/opinions/advice.
Should she leave the marriage or stay under these conditions?
Thanks for reading and for your feedback.