Why do some people tell the other person they don’t want to be friends after a breakup? (43)
galradsDublin, Ohio USA2,264 Threads 279 Polls 36,283 PostsWell, why do they not want to be friends after a breakup?
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galrads: Well, why do they not want to be friends after a breakup?
I wouldn't know at this time but, I think this song would be "apt" right now. I haven't spoken to or seen my ex for over 10 yrs. Once I left him " after 30yrs", he hated me with a vengeance. .Our kids were "grown" up by then so no need to communicate. He now ask's my kids how I'm doing, which is nice, especially during our lock down and how I'm coping with our situation. He's now settled down with some one else, so all's good 
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galrads: Well, why do they not want to be friends after a breakup?
Friends are an important thing not some insipid plan to save face following a disgrace.------ This thread is Archived ------
Because of words said whether intentional or not.
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But I suppose it could be possible if it's definitely not just being friends to be nice. You have to give these things time.
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ChesneyChrist: But I suppose it could be possible if it's definitely not just being friends to be nice. You have to give these things time.
Thank you, this post of yours is a bit warmer than your first post in this thread. I do not believe It is being clinging on to someone just by being friends, especially after some time apart from each other I don't see anything wrong with the friend status.------ This thread is Archived ------
Mercedes_00: Because of words said whether intentional or not.
Or maybe because of words unspoken too...------ This thread is Archived ------
galrads: Or maybe because of words unspoken too...
Yep------ This thread is Archived ------
Miss_Cellaneous: I wouldn't know at this time but, I think this song would be "apt" right now. I haven't spoken to or seen my ex for over 10 yrs. Once I left him " after 30yrs", he hated me with a vengeance. .Our kids were "grown" up by then so no need to communicate. He now ask's my kids how I'm doing, which is nice, especially during our lock down and how I'm coping with our situation. He's now settled down with some one else, so all's good
I like the song. I’m curious how you might feel and react if you physically bumped into your ex today. I know someone who abandoned her husband after he refused for several years to Quit dragging his knuckles on the pavement. They had an ugly divorce 10 years later but they communicate better today.------ This thread is Archived ------
My reply to this thread was about breaking up with friend / friends not an ex..
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galrads: Well, why do they not want to be friends after a breakup?
Because it can give false hope to the one who was broken up with.In my experience, men need to be told very clearly that the relationship is over, suggesting friendship is a cop out and cruel.
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serene56: Because it can give false hope to the one who was broken up with.
In my experience, men need to be told very clearly that the relationship is over, suggesting friendship is a cop out and cruel.
Interesting, to me, I’ve heard those exact words and other concerns expressed before. In my experience, men need to be told very clearly that the relationship is over, suggesting friendship is a cop out and cruel.
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galrads: I like the song. I’m curious how you might feel and react if you physically bumped into your ex today. I know someone who abandoned her husband after he refused for several years to Quit dragging his knuckles on the pavement. They had an ugly divorce 10 years later but they communicate better today.
To be honest with you Gally. I doubt that it would really happen as I'm in Spain and when I go back to the Uk to stay with my daughter who lives 50 miles away from her Dad, he knows I'm going there and so I've never even thought about it to be honest. My daughters partner will be 50 in August and they want me to be there. (I'm planning on moving back to the Uk as soon as I can but with this Virus, everything has been put on hold for the moment) I would have just kept away to be honest, as I have done so in the past. I moved to Spain which did upset my kids and looking back, maybe I did make the wrong decision at that time. I didn't really talk to my "grown" up kids for 5 years. I didn't want any trouble so kept myself to myself even though it broke my heart. To cut a long story short. My kids came back to me, something that I was so grateful for. We've talked for hours on end (in real life) and when I'm back there in the Uk talking about when they were young etc... I'm still apprehensive of seeing my ex after over 10yrs. I would just rather let sleeping dog lie. Just my opinion 
This song always reminds me of better days when I spent
some time in America. Which I'm so grateful for, having the chance to visit America. The road from South NJ up to Philly. These dark days are not going to go away so quickly..........
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galrads: Well, why do they not want to be friends after a breakup?
Just a question Gally. Would "you" personally want to be friends with your ex? I've only had one ex so I'm open to suggestions lol.....................------ This thread is Archived ------
My personal oppinion is better no. An ex can distrupt your new relationship. I have a friend often communicate with his ex wife or ex girlfriend, the new relationship broke up due to his unprofessional handling their businesses. He even unite with his ex wife or girlfriend i guess. Terrible ! Please don't mess up with your Ex's unhealthy relationship will not last long even if is good relationship. Thank you for sharing only.
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Don’t know what people here mean with ”being friends”, I made a couple of attempts to find that out, came nowhere.
Anyway, there’s a reason why an ex is an ex. No matter what kind of a relationship it was – spouses, lovers, pen-pals, members of the same sport-team – that relationship is over. If it wasn’t over, you still would have that relationship. But it’s over. Of course, you remain acquaintances, as you cannot disacquaint yourselves once you’ve been acquainted. But that’s all.
Once again, good people: what do you mean with “being friends”?
To answer the question on the topic:
Some people might feel obliged to make all the moves and noises they perceive as necessary in a given situation and those movements and noises have no meaning to anyone, but themselves. They call it “being polite”.
Some people are just clingy. Stuck in the past. Cannot let go. Leave in imaginary world. One might think it’s their problem, but they can make it your problem as well.
Anyway, there’s a reason why an ex is an ex. No matter what kind of a relationship it was – spouses, lovers, pen-pals, members of the same sport-team – that relationship is over. If it wasn’t over, you still would have that relationship. But it’s over. Of course, you remain acquaintances, as you cannot disacquaint yourselves once you’ve been acquainted. But that’s all.
Once again, good people: what do you mean with “being friends”?
To answer the question on the topic:
Some people might feel obliged to make all the moves and noises they perceive as necessary in a given situation and those movements and noises have no meaning to anyone, but themselves. They call it “being polite”.
Some people are just clingy. Stuck in the past. Cannot let go. Leave in imaginary world. One might think it’s their problem, but they can make it your problem as well.
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If you've went as far as a breakup, then why lie??
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Fanciegirl_511: My personal oppinion is better no. An ex can distrupt your new relationship. I have a friend often communicate with his ex wife or ex girlfriend, the new relationship broke up due to his unprofessional handling their businesses. He even unite with his ex wife or girlfriend i guess. Terrible ! Please don't mess up with your Ex's unhealthy relationship will not last long even if is good relationship. Thank you for sharing only.
Good post. Thank you. 
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Miss_Cellaneous: To be honest with you Gally. I doubt that it would really happen as I'm in Spain and when I go back to the Uk to stay with my daughter who lives 50 miles away from her Dad, he knows I'm going there and so I've never even thought about it to be honest. My daughters partner will be 50 in August and they want me to be there. (I'm planning on moving back to the Uk as soon as I can but with this Virus, everything has been put on hold for the moment) I would have just kept away to be honest, as I have done so in the past. I moved to Spain which did upset my kids and looking back, maybe I did make the wrong decision at that time. I didn't really talk to my "grown" up kids for 5 years. I didn't want any trouble so kept myself to myself even though it broke my heart. To cut a long story short. My kids came back to me, something that I was so grateful for. We've talked for hours on end (in real life) and when I'm back there in the Uk talking about when they were young etc... I'm still apprehensive of seeing my ex after over 10yrs. I would just rather let sleeping dog lie. Just my opinion
This song always reminds me of better days when I spent some time in America. Which I'm so grateful for, having the chance to visit America. The road from South NJ up to Philly. These dark days are not going to go away so quickly..........
30 years in a relationship is a big investment of numerous things. I’ve wondered at times What I would do if I was in a newer relationship and Someone told me That my first wife needed a hand due to her having a sudden serious illness and nobody else was immediately around to help her.This song always reminds me of better days when I spent some time in America. Which I'm so grateful for, having the chance to visit America. The road from South NJ up to Philly. These dark days are not going to go away so quickly..........
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Created: May 2020
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