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Income difference and relationship (101)

Jun 23, 2020 11:53 AM CST Income difference and relationship
It’s known that financial strain doesn’t improve relationship. But let’s talk about difference in incomes. Would it create some strain? Money is power in our world, after all.

So how much difference in income between you and your partner would be comfortable for you? (Could be expressed as percent of your income.)
Jun 23, 2020 11:57 AM CST Income difference and relationship
Lasagna
LasagnaLasagnaBuenos Aires, Argentina11 Threads 295 Posts
Doesn't matter how much one earns, you can always use sex to even things out. teddybear

laugh laugh
Jun 23, 2020 12:00 PM CST Income difference and relationship
Lasagna: Doesn't matter how much one earns, you can always use sex to even things out.
Well... a solution as any :)
Jun 23, 2020 12:08 PM CST Income difference and relationship
Doesn't matter a bit to me as long as she's not lazy and entitled.
Jun 23, 2020 12:14 PM CST Income difference and relationship
That sounds more like a business relationship... Not a love one... I remember my Dad always said to my Mom: "My money is OUR money... Your money is YOURS"... And I loved that...
I remember I heard from a close friend that his niece´s husband would "lend" her money to pay for her university semester and he always reminded her to pay him the money back... I think that was the most horrible thing... If you love a person and become part of a couple, it's an "OURS"; not a "YOURS" and a "MINE"... Anyway, that's just my humble opinion... bouquet
Jun 23, 2020 12:23 PM CST Income difference and relationship
blathin
blathinblathinMayo, Ireland496 Posts
Tulefell: It’s known that financial strain doesn’t improve relationship. But let’s talk about difference in incomes. Would it create some strain? Money is power in our world, after all.

So how much difference in income between you and your partner would be comfortable for you? (Could be expressed as percent of your income.)
Only people who factor money into their relationship/s will see it as a problem..or let it be a problem.

And sadly, that's pretty much 99.9999% of people...

Money isn't power by the way.....Power is power and no amount of money can buy it...

If someone in a relationship thinks they have all the power because they earn more...then that's a sad reflection on who they are as person, the quality of their relationship...and on how little they really have...
Jun 23, 2020 12:29 PM CST Income difference and relationship
Tulefell: It’s known that financial strain doesn’t improve relationship. But let’s talk about difference in incomes. Would it create some strain? Money is power in our world, after all.

So how much difference in income between you and your partner would be comfortable for you? (Could be expressed as percent of your income.)
Worked for us to have common bank accounts and proportional deferred comp accounts in my last marriage. Just living uncommitted with someone though ... my income is mine and her income hers. All my income is unearned for the last 13 years anyways.
Jun 23, 2020 12:31 PM CST Income difference and relationship
Howzit654
Howzit654Howzit654Johannesburg, Gauteng South Africa4 Threads 25 Posts
I wish Men will accept Women earning more than them, and not be jealous upsetting the relationship? It is Not a competition, just part of the Household income.
Jun 23, 2020 12:33 PM CST Income difference and relationship
Howzit654: I wish Men will accept Women earning more than them, and not be jealous upsetting the relationship? It is Not a competition, just part of the Household income.
Say some men or most men. Saying men implies all. My ex-wife earned three times as much as me. I was fine with that. grin
Jun 23, 2020 12:33 PM CST Income difference and relationship
blathin: Only people who factor money into their relationship/s will see it as a problem..or let it be a problem.

And sadly, that's pretty much 99.9999% of people...

Money isn't power by the way.....Power is power and no amount of money can buy it...

If someone in a relationship thinks they have all the power because they earn more...then that's a sad reflection on who they are as person, the quality of their relationship...and on how little they really have...
Yep, money is power in most relationships which is nuts typically in the usa because white women earn 75 percent than their men, black women earn 65 percent less than their men and hispanic women earn ~55 percent less.

wave
Jun 23, 2020 12:35 PM CST Income difference and relationship
Howzit654: I wish Men will accept Women earning more than them, and not be jealous upsetting the relationship? It is Not a competition, just part of the Household income.
I’d like to have a woman in mynlife who made more than me sigh banana
Jun 23, 2020 12:35 PM CST Income difference and relationship
Lasagna: Doesn't matter how much one earns, you can always use sex to even things out.
What is sex confused
Jun 23, 2020 2:30 PM CST Income difference and relationship
Melody1671: That sounds more like a business relationship... Not a love one... I remember my Dad always said to my Mom: "My money is OUR money... Your money is YOURS"... And I loved that...
I remember I heard from a close friend that his niece´s husband would "lend" her money to pay for her university semester and he always reminded her to pay him the money back... I think that was the most horrible thing... If you love a person and become part of a couple, it's an "OURS"; not a "YOURS" and a "MINE"... Anyway, that's just my humble opinion...
Well... if I understood right, you'd accept a partner with 0 income as long as you in love with each other. It's very romantic.

But I do like your father's approach. Wish I could find someone, preferably rich, and tell him: your money is ours and my money is mine :)
Jun 23, 2020 2:37 PM CST Income difference and relationship
blathin: Only people who factor money into their relationship/s will see it as a problem..or let it be a problem.

And sadly, that's pretty much 99.9999% of people...

Money isn't power by the way.....Power is power and no amount of money can buy it...

If someone in a relationship thinks they have all the power because they earn more...then that's a sad reflection on who they are as person, the quality of their relationship...and on how little they really have...
Is it right to assume, than money (or lack thereof) will never be a question at any stage in your relationship? In that case I do admire your and Melody's attitude. That's real freedom.

Alas, I live in a material world there we are expected to pay taxes and bills :(
Jun 23, 2020 2:38 PM CST Income difference and relationship
Track16online now!
Track16online now!Track16Little Hearts Ease, Newfoundland Canada965 Threads 12,843 Posts
I have little income, one of the things that keeps me single
Jun 23, 2020 2:45 PM CST Income difference and relationship
Skye5
Skye5Skye5Cape Town, Western Cape South Africa46 Posts
Lasagna: Doesn't matter how much one earns, you can always use sex to even things out.
Lol. As long as you don't have to start paying your partner for sex.
Jun 23, 2020 2:45 PM CST Income difference and relationship
Tulefell: Well... if I understood right, you'd accept a partner with 0 income as long as you in love with each other. It's very romantic.

But I do like your father's approach. Wish I could find someone, preferably rich, and tell him: your money is ours and my money is mine :)
Nope... You didn't understand right... I like hard working males... Because I am a hard working female... I wouldn't date a male that did nothing the whole day but wait for me to bring the money... Being romantic doesn't equal being stupid... At least, not in my book...
I wish you the best of luck and I hope you find that rich man... I love that my father who was married to my mom, told her that... He was always very protective of his wife and his children... That's how most latin males are raised... Another trait that I adore... bouquet
Jun 23, 2020 2:51 PM CST Income difference and relationship
Cranky_Geezer: Say some men or most men. Saying men implies all. My ex-wife earned three times as much as me. I was fine with that.
You wouldn't still have her number by any chance?
writing
Jun 23, 2020 2:52 PM CST Income difference and relationship
Cranky_Geezer: My ex-wife earned three times as much as me. I was fine with that.
And she?


I've been at a date with a man, who told (he wasn't bragging, it just came naturally during conversation) that he has an apartment on one of Canary Islands, plays golf in Scotland, spends Christmas in Caribbean and summer in Aegean on own yacht. I didn't feel comfortable: it's not my league and never will be. I just never will be able to earn much enough to at least have suitable clothes for that life style, let alone jewelry. So it was a dead-end.

Another admirer planned our 5-days holiday in Denmark, the route, the hotels, estimated the costs, everything. I was very grateful that he took the task, I worked extra to get a few days off, but 2 days before departure he informed me that he couldn't afford his part of the cost. The whole thing felt ridiculous, but I decided not to pick up his tab and it became a dead-end too.

Financial equality important for me. I don't want to be in a "poor relative" role, nor want I drag alone someone, who cannot pay for himself.
Jun 23, 2020 2:54 PM CST Income difference and relationship
galrads: Yep, money is power in most relationships which is nuts typically in the usa because white women earn 75 percent than their men, black women earn 65 percent less than their men and hispanic women earn ~55 percent less.
Women learn less than men, ceteris paribus, in Sweden as well. I think it's somewhere around 85%.
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