The Refusal ( Archived) (23)

Aug 5, 2021 1:05 AM CST The Refusal
Tanzila
TanzilaTanzilaCity Of Joy, West Bengal India77 Threads 47 Polls 554 Posts
Hello folks ! wave

My today's query for you all is ,

How To Refuse Unwanted/Nonsuitable Marriage Proposal Without Hurting Their Feelings ???

In my area , it used to be considered very odd , if a person (specially Girls) remains Unmarried after being adult (for whatever reason)...
And generally people find it as their Sacred Duty to help such person (specially Girls) to get Married as soon as possible...

But the problem is ,
Though their overall intention may be really noble , but the Proposal they bring , May Not be very Suitable often...

And there it becomes really Awkward to Refuse them directly on their face , specially when you may have to deal with them personally , on regular basis !!!
For example , When the proposal comes from your Boss at Workplace , or your Coworkers , or your very Close Relatives and Friends , or even your Next Door Neighbour !!!

So
I am looking for all your suggestions and opinions regarding this matter...
Have a nice time y'all... wave
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Aug 5, 2021 1:17 AM CST The Refusal
Mr_Amor
Mr_AmorMr_AmorAllahabad, Uttar Pradesh, Uttar Pradesh India8 Threads 87 Posts
i saw this situation in a movie. heroine used a trick. she said, she has a boyfriend, and both love each other.

i don't know, this idea will work or not?dunno
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Aug 5, 2021 1:31 AM CST The Refusal
Mr_Amor
Mr_AmorMr_AmorAllahabad, Uttar Pradesh, Uttar Pradesh India8 Threads 87 Posts
second idea is:
set a typical goal. and say to everybody, after achieving my goal i will think about marriage.
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Aug 5, 2021 1:47 AM CST The Refusal
And then you have us here who also wonder what seems to be the (photo) problem.... rolling on the floor laughing

Are you hell bent on being single and how long is the ban on?

-

dunno
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Aug 5, 2021 2:05 AM CST The Refusal
Mr_Amor
Mr_AmorMr_AmorAllahabad, Uttar Pradesh, Uttar Pradesh India8 Threads 87 Posts
a beautiful song for you Tanzi
it's an old tv serial title song.


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Aug 5, 2021 2:41 AM CST The Refusal
Tanzila
TanzilaTanzilaCity Of Joy, West Bengal India77 Threads 47 Polls 554 Posts
Mr_Amor: i saw this situation in a movie. heroine used a trick. she said, she has a boyfriend, and both love each other.

i don't know, this idea will work or not?
Well... If you are single , then creating an imaginary boyfriend may help you temporarily , but on the long run it will become an unnecessary headache as you would have to constantly create more and more lies and will need to keep track of all those lies...
So it may not be a good idea in real life ... dunno

And even if you really have a boyfriend , still , just having a boyfriend won't help much unless you are Officially Engaged for Marriage...

Let's say , it may work for your workplace or neighbours at the moment , they may step back instantly , but , they will keep an eye on you... And when they will find you still Unmarried after 6 month or 1 year , they will come back again and this time more persistent by saying ,
"Ok , so what if you have a boyfriend ! You are not married or officially engaged yet ! No harm to explore other option in that case !".... doh

And
If you have a boyfriend and you have told that to your family and friends , then that might be the biggest mistake you have done...
As your family and relatives will become more anxious after knowing about your boyfriend and would make your life a Nagging Hell to get Married with your BF as soon as possible .... frustrated
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Aug 5, 2021 2:50 AM CST The Refusal
Tanzila
TanzilaTanzilaCity Of Joy, West Bengal India77 Threads 47 Polls 554 Posts
Mr_Amor: second idea is:
set a typical goal. and say to everybody, after achieving my goal i will think about marriage.
Yes it could work..
But the Goal should be something very tough to achieve .. Like , Becoming an astronaut or a Billionaire or at least the CEO of a MNC !!!

Otherwise relatively easy Goals may not prevent the attack for long time !! They will find some excuse to bypass your Goals... uh oh
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Aug 5, 2021 2:56 AM CST The Refusal
Tanzila
TanzilaTanzilaCity Of Joy, West Bengal India77 Threads 47 Polls 554 Posts
Grandsiozzie: And then you have us here who also wonder what seems to be the (photo) problem....

Are you hell bent on being single and how long is the ban on?

-
Grand
Though this thread is Not Really About Me specifically , conversing
But as you have asked ,

I'm just enjoying my bachelorethood , I'm not yet ready to spoil all that charm !!! crying
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Aug 5, 2021 2:57 AM CST The Refusal
Mr_Amor
Mr_AmorMr_AmorAllahabad, Uttar Pradesh, Uttar Pradesh India8 Threads 87 Posts
Tanzila: Ken

If you were talking about an online date , then no need to cancel it .. You can still have it online
and what about me Tanzilove
.
.
.
.
.
.
don't worry, just kidding comfort
.
.
.
.
i don't understand dating concept.
i don't understand relationship concept.
try before buy.
i heard these words first time in 2016 . since then i am trying to understand this concept, but i couldn't.

mai to sirf yahi jaanta hun ki, jo baahar chicken biryaani khayega use ghar ka daal chaawal kahaan achha lagega. fir kahenge ki breakup aur divorce kyon hota hai.
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Aug 5, 2021 2:58 AM CST The Refusal
Tanzila
TanzilaTanzilaCity Of Joy, West Bengal India77 Threads 47 Polls 554 Posts
Mr_Amor: a beautiful song for you Tanzi
it's an old tv serial title song.
Thanks Amor..

That song is really beautiful.. thumbs up
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Aug 5, 2021 3:04 AM CST The Refusal
Tanzila
TanzilaTanzilaCity Of Joy, West Bengal India77 Threads 47 Polls 554 Posts
Mr_Amor: and what about me Tanzi
.
.
.
.
.
.
don't worry, just kidding
.
.
.
.
i don't understand dating concept.
i don't understand relationship concept.
try before buy.
i heard these words first time in 2016 . since then i am trying to understand this concept, but i couldn't.

mai to sirf yahi jaanta hun ki, jo baahar chicken biryaani khayega use ghar ka daal chaawal kahaan achha lagega. fir kahenge ki breakup aur divorce kyon hota hai.
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing Very true !!
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Aug 5, 2021 3:05 AM CST The Refusal
Mr_Amor
Mr_AmorMr_AmorAllahabad, Uttar Pradesh, Uttar Pradesh India8 Threads 87 Posts
i did a big mistake.

i posted blog post into forumdoh
sorry
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Aug 5, 2021 3:10 AM CST The Refusal
Tanzila
TanzilaTanzilaCity Of Joy, West Bengal India77 Threads 47 Polls 554 Posts
Mr_Amor: i did a big mistake.

i posted blog post into forum
sorry
That's ok.. comfort
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Aug 5, 2021 3:26 AM CST The Refusal
Mercedes_00
Mercedes_00Mercedes_00Greater Sydney, New South Wales Australia18 Threads 20,301 Posts
I don't like people leading people on so I would give that person the same respect by not leading him om.I would refuse but I would be very nice about it so they were still was left with confidence to continue in their search
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Aug 5, 2021 3:44 AM CST The Refusal
Tanzila
TanzilaTanzilaCity Of Joy, West Bengal India77 Threads 47 Polls 554 Posts
Mercedes_00: I don't like people leading people on so I would give that person the same respect by not leading him om.I would refuse but I would be very nice about it so they were still was left with confidence to continue in their search
Merce

Actually here it happens a bit differently...
I mean , the family or someone as the representative of the potential groom approaches the Girl directly ... They first insist the Girl to know if she is ready to give it a chance , then next they will meet the Girl's family with the proposal ..
I mean , here the proposal people bring on behalf of someone else....
It's the current trend of matchmaking process here.. conversing
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Aug 5, 2021 3:50 AM CST The Refusal
Mercedes_00
Mercedes_00Mercedes_00Greater Sydney, New South Wales Australia18 Threads 20,301 Posts
Tanzila: Merce

Actually here it happens a bit differently...
I mean , the family or someone as the representative of the potential groom approaches the Girl directly ... They first insist the Girl to know if she is ready to give it a chance , then next they will meet the Girl's family with the proposal ..
I mean , here the proposal people bring on behalf of someone else....
It's the current trend of matchmaking process here..
Sorry about my reply..I thought you explained about your culture then wanting replies from others in regard to what would we do if proposed too.

Am I correct saying this is the Muslim culture?

If so me being a westerner would be silly of me to know what to say
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Aug 5, 2021 4:08 AM CST The Refusal
Tanzila
TanzilaTanzilaCity Of Joy, West Bengal India77 Threads 47 Polls 554 Posts
Mercedes_00: Sorry about my reply..I thought you explained about your culture then wanting replies from others in regard to what would we do if proposed too.

Am I correct saying this is the Muslim culture?

If so me being a westerner would be silly of me to know what to say
Ummm... I'm not sure if the same thing is happening with Muslim Girls/Boys too..
As I never interacted with any Muslims about this issue.. confused

But I think it's most likely not about Religion though..
It's more about the social behaviour patterns ...
Yes .. You can say it's a cultural issue.. But not exactly the Typical culture ...
As the Grooms family approaching the Girl first directly instead of Her Family or Guardians , is a new trend I'm observing !!! conversing
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Aug 5, 2021 4:17 AM CST The Refusal
Mercedes_00
Mercedes_00Mercedes_00Greater Sydney, New South Wales Australia18 Threads 20,301 Posts
I have never been proposed too..All I know is boy meets girl..Boy asks girl to marry him and it goes on from there..I don't believe it's the family;s business to act first
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Aug 5, 2021 4:19 AM CST The Refusal
Tanzila
TanzilaTanzilaCity Of Joy, West Bengal India77 Threads 47 Polls 554 Posts
Not very new trend though... I'm noticing it for past few years ! hmmm

Personally I think , It's easier to say NO to the candidate directly ...
Than to someone as a representative , with whom you have to maintain a professional or formal relationship or have to engage into family gathering...

Specially saying NO on the face of an elderly person (like the parent or close relatives of the candidate) can feel really uncomfortable at times... dunno
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Aug 5, 2021 4:29 AM CST The Refusal
Tanzila
TanzilaTanzilaCity Of Joy, West Bengal India77 Threads 47 Polls 554 Posts
Mercedes_00: I have never been proposed too..All I know is boy meets girl..Boy asks girl to marry him and it goes on from there..I don't believe it's the family;s business to act first
Exactly !!! Why elderly parents or relatives find it their job to act like cupid !!! dunno

Actually even if there would have been a little chance of a relationship to began , but by interfering as a matchmaker , they destroy that chance in the beginning ... doh

Let it be as it is... Why become anxious about other people's relationship status !!!
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